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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/5/2011 9:57:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Y'know, if I'd go straight, I think I'd have my choice of the sexy, INTERESTING female s-types here. Oh, I might not "have" the ones like sirsHolly, but I bet ones like her have "friends." LOL!

If you went straight, Lance, there would be bloodied s-types all over the place before we were done fighting over you.
<snipped>

What? No chance for me to, y'know..... have any input? LOL! Last s-type standing is the one I "get"? Well, that tears it. Ain't gonna go straight if that's what's gonna happen. All you gals get them thar claws back to wherever y'all keep 'em. NO blood on my hands. Nope, ain't gonna be such a war here. :::SIGH::: Open secret - Lance was married to a "real woman" as we say in the gay world. No kids, BTW

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(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/5/2011 10:15:49 PM

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quote:

What? No chance for me to, y'know..... have any input? LOL! Last s-type standing is the one I "get"? Well, that tears it. Ain't gonna go straight if that's what's gonna happen. All you gals get them thar claws back to wherever y'all keep 'em. NO blood on my hands. Nope, ain't gonna be such a war here.

How about if we let you referee?

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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/5/2011 10:18:45 PM

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quote:

What? No chance for me to, y'know..... have any input?

Of course not. This is between us girls so you just sit back and hush.

quote:

Last s-type standing is the one I "get"?

Um...i would say the last s-type is the one that gets you

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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/5/2011 10:21:57 PM

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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

What? No chance for me to, y'know..... have any input? LOL! Last s-type standing is the one I "get"? Well, that tears it. Ain't gonna go straight if that's what's gonna happen. All you gals get them thar claws back to wherever y'all keep 'em. NO blood on my hands. Nope, ain't gonna be such a war here.

How about if we let you referee?

Only if he doesn't get too tired.

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(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/5/2011 11:04:37 PM

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While I will look at a Dom/Master's profile, it's usually not what catches my attention. It's about substance, usually through forum posts or on ocassion a detailed journal entry or comment. A profile is like a blurb, a place to start, but if there's nothing to back it up, it's not as interesting, and it becomes more difficult to learn about said person.

As far as relocation, Master and I both moved when we became a 24/7 couple...with my being in the Navy, I had to move from Chicago to Virginia on orders, and he came up from FL for us to start our life together. It takes time and trust to build a relationship, and for me, the idea of relocating (or at least him locating to me...I guess) didn't come up until shortly before I left, after a lot of consideration...if you are going to relocate, I have to feel secure that the other person isn't in it for a free ride, or just for kicks.

(in reply to sirsholly)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 6:41:59 AM

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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

quote:

1) RELOCATION - What do you look for that would motivate you to relocate for a Dom/Master and how much time do you think is reasonable talking with them before you do?

I am with a man so I am not looking, however if I where looking I would have to know a person pretty well before I considered picking up my life and moving to them, I see that some relocate after only a few conversations but I do not really understand that, I would have to know a person for months, have had many real life meetings before I would consider relocating for them.

quote:

2) PROFILE - What is it that you look for in a profile that catches your eye, intrigues you and you find yourself wanting to know more about a particular Dom/Master?
I may have more pending what comes out of this, and appreciate the input.
L.

I am most intrigued by profiles that also describe a person's vanilla interests, I would be looking for an intelligent person who also where interested in the occult, in goth lifestyle and in science fiction, fantasy and horror, then once I assumed we would fit together in the vanilla fashion I would look at if we had similar interest in kink.

Welcome to Collarme.

I wish you well.

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(in reply to ElderKnight)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 7:12:27 AM

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OP, you're tripping all kinds of warning bells for me.

1. Why is it necessary that an s relocate? This makes me wonder if you've made a bad name for yourself locally. Especially since your profile states that you don't like going to local activities.

2. Your profile gives damn near no info about you, except that you travel a lot and states that you have your own mysterious reasons for "keeping a low profile". My natural conclusion is that you are married and looking for a traveling fuck buddy for your business trips.

I may be guessing incorrectly, but your profile's tone gives me a bad feeling.

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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 7:16:54 AM

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Joined: 3/10/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElderKnight

Well, I can say that I didn't expect such quick responses, an in particular those who got excited about the "subbie" bit. Trust me when I say this, it was ment as a term of endearment, tounge n cheeck if you will, a joke, etc. But lets not get wound up over symantics.

Hey there, first, you're welcome. And welcome to CM.

Re: the "subbie" thing - no one is excited or wound up over it. But it's a term often tossed around in a condescending way, or to be insulting, or to be "cute" and, well, it just isn't. No big deal....now ya know.

Exactly as NuevaVida stated on the use of subbie and why it grates. OP, you seem to think your choice of address was unimportant, but you did start this thread with the intention of finding out what appeals to submissive women. Why are you dismissing what they're saying as trivial, by telling them not to get wound up over symantics because you thought something was cute/jokey/endearing and you found out that it's not? So your intention was one thing and it was taken as another...if all of these women wouldn't respond to an email calling them a subbie- isn't that exactly what you're asking here? Don't be so quick as to throw out this particular nugget that you've uncovered as trivial, and as something that the women here are taking too seriously. You're patronizing the audience that has taken the time to answer your question in a serious manner without even hearing what they have to say. That my fellow poster is why I'd pass up a profile...if it seemed like the gentleman behind it was stuck in seeing things his way and not capable of hearing the value in what I had to say.

Just a bit more on this and perhaps it'll shed some light on it for you. There is a man here that writes me periodically, all he says is "Hello Princess". It truly grates on my nerves for the reasons stated above. Or when men write and call me girl, little girl, little one, kitten, slut, whore, etc. They're putting me in a box that I might fit or might not, and I certainly haven't had the chance to reach that more intimate level with them where he'd know if those labels might fit. Calling people by a label implies that you know them well enough to choose a label.

As for your other questions...relocation is a serious step and one I'd consider after spending a lot of time with someone. I'd have to give up a lot to do that, if it was worth it I might do it. What intrigues me in a profile is being able to sense what someone is like - that he's not playing a role.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 9:12:59 AM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElderKnight
What do subbies & slaves truly desire?

Two scoops of Southern Hospitality ice cream, and a body massage.
For three scoops, you can even call me subbie.

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(in reply to ElderKnight)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 9:13:12 AM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElderKnight

Well, I can say that I didn't expect such quick responses, an in particular those who got excited about the "subbie" bit. Trust me when I say this, it was ment as a term of endearment, tounge n cheeck if you will, a joke, etc. But lets not get wound up over symantics.

So, you're okay if we call you "asshat" as long as we mean as a joke or tongue in cheek?

You asked what appeals to the "s" types. Several of us told you that we find that word unappealing. You tell us not get caught up in semantics.

Here's the deal: We can tell you what it takes to get someone interested in a profile, but that once that happens it's up to you to get something going. If you're going to ask questions and toss out the answers just because they weren't what you're expecting, I suspect you'll have a hard time of it.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/6/2011 10:10:16 AM >

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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 9:18:43 AM

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From: Montana
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1. I wasn't looking for 24/7. We met at a kinky camping trip. Three months later we spent a few weeks traveling in the motor home. He met my family. I met his kids and grandkids. I'm not sure why I agreed to move to AZ for the winter but 6 months after we first met I was on a plane to Phoenix. Maybe it was the gloomy rainy winter we were having. Maybe it was because after husband died I realized that you had to live all you could while you could or you just might run out of time.

I think reasonable time varies depending on circumstances. I was 54 when we met. He was 64 and celebrating 4 years of having his new lung. For us 6 months seemed to be right. I guess we figured we had little to lose at our ages, and much to gain if it all worked out. My job could be easily quit as I had other income available. I also worked things out so that if I'd realized it was a mistake after a couple months I could have gone back to my job. We have been together for 6 years now.

2. I didn't meet Gary through the internet. I don't remember being attracted to profiles for any reason. It was more the notes we wrote back and forth to each other that got me wanting to know more. First Dom and I chatted about his garden, my garden, and him landscaping his new house. I guess I would have to say talking about kink right away is a turn off. I don't share my personal private life with someone I consider a stranger, Dom or not a Dom.

(in reply to ElderKnight)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 9:26:03 AM

Arpig

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Simple questions, but they have complex answers, there are just too many variables. Perhaps THIS will help explain it better.

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RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 9:44:11 AM

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Semantics matter. This is a lesson you should know when writing your profile. I hate being called a "subbie". (and i very much have a little girl persona in me so i don't think that is a good enough reason). For me, a profile should have humour and a sense of the person who is behind it.

I could not relocate so that question is mute with me.

(in reply to Arpig)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 10:10:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElderKnight

Hello to you all, and I have a question(s) for you subbies and slaves. Of course I know there is a difference, but these will center around a 24/7 relationship. This is my first post, and I figure the charlatans don't view the posts and I can get a somewhat straight answer.

That's a good bet.

1) RELOCATION - What do you look for that would motivate you to relocate for a Dom/Master and how much time do you think is reasonable talking with them before you do?

They would have to be the love of my life, or at least really interesting. Regardless of how well i liked them, it would have to be feasible to move (job, school, family, finances). If my circumstances allowed relocation, i would only consider it for someone i had already spent time with and knew that i got along with. Which means it would have to be someone close enough for me to meet in person beforehand. Also, i would not get into the relationship with that in mind. It would have started as a more casual relationship that intensified over time, up to the point where i was considering moving. i would not jump into the relationship with the idea that i was going move eventually.

i think that may be Your problem. Your profile says You're looking for someone to relocate for you, travel the world with You, and all these other things that you are looking for in a partner. It reads like the equivalent of bringing up marriage on a first date, or like You are looking for some kind of mail order bride. You might want to slow down. People are unlikely to agree to that kind of commitment sight unseen. At least, i would be.

2) PROFILE - What is it that you look for in a profile that catches your eye, intrigues you and you find yourself wanting to know more about a particular Dom/Master?

PROS:
a sense of humor
getting a feel for their personality from their profile
respectfulness; someone who first speaks to me as a person and not as a Dom
honesty
intelligence
cool photos or journal entries
someone who has posted to the forums

CONS:
long kink lists
multiple spelling errors
profiles that do NOT express the writer's personality, and could have been written by anyone
dic pics
Doms with extensive lists of only female friends
lame first contacts, like "hi" or "nice tits"

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 8/6/2011 10:12:45 AM >

(in reply to ElderKnight)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 10:41:31 AM

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i to dislike the use of subbie be it tounge in cheek or serious.

howver i relocated and i met my master online but met hem before i read his profile it turned out his profile had no hint as to who he was in it. we fell inlove from almost day one once we met and i could get things organised i relocated as soon as i could its what you feel is right

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 11:08:36 AM

Arpig

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quote:

lame first contacts, like "hi" or "nice tits"

But Pam...you DO have nice tits.

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(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 11:40:56 AM

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

quote:

1. Why is it necessary that an s relocate? This makes me wonder if you've made a bad name for yourself locally. Especially since your profile states that you don't like going to local activities.

In the OPs defense, I have not looked at his profile so I have no idea where he is from, but some people live in places where it is unlikely they will meet anyone else kinky so the OP could just be assuming a potential sub would have to relocate to him, though I might just be naive here.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 12:28:00 PM

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Joined: 3/19/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
But Pam...you DO have nice tits.

Well, i will bypass the aesthetic argument, and just say, NOT a good first contact email, even if it is true.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 8/6/2011 12:58:29 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 12:29:52 PM

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i am good with someone saying nice tits as long as they have more to say .... and not "i would like to spunk all over them" lol

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: What do subbies & slaves truly desire? - 8/6/2011 4:09:00 PM

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Thanks again for the input from you all. I'll say this, I'm new to the message boards, that should be glaringly obvious by the vanilla cone and number of posts. So as a new poster, I'm liable to make certain social blunders. Oh, lets go with the word "subbie" Nowhere in the FAQ does it say this is a taboo word, yet there was nearly a mob with pitchforks and torches outside my front door for the mention of it. I got it. When I met and was in a relationship with a sub, she actually like being called "subbie"
I at least still find the humor in it. And not I wouldn't get bent out of shape if any of you call me a jack wagon, ass hat or other name as long as it fit into the conversation.
I also realize that my questions were a bit vague, but as I was saying in another thread that addressed scammers and fakes, particulairly the willing to relocate profiles, there are the ones that are suspect, to say the leat, when they talk about moving in after 3 days of talking or even the 1st email.
So to answer Steven directly, I'm not looking to import a sub, I'm concerned when one says I need a new Master, because I am no longer needed. I do know many people in my local community. The ones I am interested in are not available, and the ones interested in me, I'm not of them.
As for the vagueness of my profile, it is still under construction. This forum says I have been a member since 2007, but that profile was deleted and I left to Afghanistan and Iraq for a few years on "business" I'm not married, haven't been since 2001, when I left for Afghanistan the 1st time.
I do feel comfortable enough in this forum to admit I am a military officer, but do not want to necessisarily have that on my main profile. But be patient, something I think some of you have a problem with (not you Steven), and I will come around to filling this thing out more appropriately.

Even after all the post today, I am not angry, and for those of you who are skimming through this, I AM NOT ANGRY, and I do still appreciate the input, but lets put the "subbie" thing to bed. I promise I won't use it again, unless I see you in person :P

So I ask about what catches your eye on a profile, not because I want to craft mine to what I want a sub to read, but for them to have a better understanding of who I am, so they know what they are getting into.

Finally I'll end with, Steven, I LOVE your quote about women having big breasts wanting small ones etc. BRILLIANT!!!!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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