RE: what fucking community? (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:48:43 AM)

Thanks, Hannah.  You just saved Me from blasting someone on another thread.  Thank God for the delete button, eh?

Being a leather person Myself, I can't sit here and say that there is no community.  It's not what you're going to find on the net though.  Sure, these days, we use it as a tool, but it's just a drop in the bucket.

Unfortunately, most new folks getting an interest in this stuff have the misconception that the sun rises and sets in the kink world because they have come along.  It doesn't.  We were doing this shit before they showed up and it won't matter one fucking bit if they go away.  My world doesn't magically change because somebody out there wakes up one day and decides they are kinky.  I'm thrilled for you.  Really.  I am.  Have the time of your life doing it. 

At the same time, I'm not going to kid you about where you are on the food chain.  The meal will still get served whether you're sitting at the table or not.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:54:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JWriter

instead of being a constant oozing poster child for PMS. Might, I say!

Irony, you are suffering from it. Might you say? No, I don't think you're in any position to say.

Also, your definition of BDSM as only being people who are SSC and involved in events (and everyone else as vanilla) is...limited (and it's particularly funny from that point of view that you're calling Hannah Lynn out of date - the internet means that there are more people who have space to talk about BDSM without having to join a community than ever before). But I can't say I'm terribly surprised by that.

---

As for the actual OP:

My local community is a community. There are community education initiatives, community fundraisers. community outings to the park. I'd say that qualifies.

This? Nah. This is just a bunch of people yammering into thin air.

BDSM as a whole? Even less so. Bunch of disparate individuals, some of whom form communities and some of whom don't.

<ed to add the clause about vanilla>



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:58:55 AM)

LadyPact, I'm not really sure where this particular line of thought is coming from. I do know that this topic was started almost directly from the line of thought I started in a previous post. But none of my posts even alluded to the fact that I put myself on any such pedestal.

But, yes I have seen somewhat what you are describing with new people. But, they almost always either 1) move onto something else, or 2) realize the world doesn't revolve around them. As for me, I've been in the lifestyle for several years so I am by no means new to anything except these forums.

In response to group of friends. Don't screw up my original thought please. I said small community within the bigger picture. Can one community not be a piece of another community? Is Orlando not a community in the state of Florida which is also a community? All you have to do is go to events where they're handing out awards or "Ms Leather 2011" deals. That's a very good definition of what the BDSM community really is.

Go back 30 years and you would never survive in the BDSM lifestyle. Not with this fuck all attitude you have. For you it's just kinky sex, but the golden era of BDSM was never about solely kinky sex. It was about the familial connections that were made and shared. Of course, there was kinky sex involved, but it was so much more then that. And it still is. And once you accept that and join in you will realize that BDSM has so much more to offer you then just "kinky sex"



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 9:59:09 AM)

quote:

BDSM is a community
no its not. it's a term used to describe a loosely related group of sexual practices.

quote:

there are standards
really? i think you'll find few agree with you as to what those fucking standards are.

quote:

just divergent people running around playing their selfish, kinky sex games.

but that's what it fucking is, so why would i deliberately delude myself into thinking it was anything other than what it is.

and again on the fucking pms thing. i am even more certain you're a fucking guy.



mnottertail -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:00:40 AM)

Hey!!!!!! How about the global community? See how well we all play in bed together?

read the jfk quote in my sigline, and know that in the final analysis, while it should maybe mean shit, it don't mean shit.



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:01:30 AM)

VaguelyCurious: to those that are only in it for kinky sex, they are depriving themselves of so much. To deny yourself the community is deny yourself so much experience and so many connections



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:02:38 AM)

I think that there are lots of individual communities, like local munches, local dungeons, private play party groups, discussion groups etc.  Too often though, people join their local communities and begin to think of us all as one big brotherhood or sisterhood they call THE Community. 

Me?  I'm just here to fondle the big balls - but I aint wearing the ugly shoes. 



stoni23 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:04:37 AM)

HannahLynHeather: I do truly feel sorry for you. I will not be coming back to this thread because you will not listen to reason in any sort of manner, and I know that you are not indicative of everybody else on here. To be so close minded such as yourself seems odd seeing as you're open minded enough about sex to consider yourself in the lifestyle. But, in all reality, you are not into BDSM. You are simply into kinky sex. Since you are incapable of realizing truly what this lifestyle has to offer, I feel sorry for you. Feel free to call me names and curse all you like. I will be not viewing this topic any longer as it is clearly not going anywhere fruitful.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:04:57 AM)

quote:

My local community is a community.
keyword: local. your local group isn't even the only one in town is it? and you guys don't get along with all the other local groups either, do you?

it's like littlewonder said, it's way to broad a fucking umbrella, there's way to many subgroups. we're like a bunch of japanese teenagers for fuck's sake, each with our little subculture. we all have in common that we're not "vanilla", but that's the extent of it. anything beyond the very local level is just fucking fantasy.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:07:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

VaguelyCurious: to those that are only in it for kinky sex, they are depriving themselves of so much. To deny yourself the community is deny yourself so much experience and so many connections

You're also denying yourself a lot of backstabbing, community drama, people who take themselves and their 'standards' terribly (terribly) seriously, people who cover up for abusers, people who let children into events, people who bring children to events, sexually aggressive people with a lack of understanding of personal space boundaries...

I could keep typing.

There are good things and bad things about local communities. I am active in my local community. I do not condemn those who aren't. Doing so doesn't make you better than them, it makes you look stupid, idealistic and faux-superior.

ETA: dude posted while I was typing. He's not coming back? Shaaaaame.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:08:02 AM)

buh bye.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:08:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

My local community is a community.
keyword: local. your local group isn't even the only one in town is it? and you guys don't get along with all the other local groups either, do you?

it's like littlewonder said, it's way to broad a fucking umbrella, there's way to many subgroups. we're like a bunch of japanese teenagers for fuck's sake, each with our little subculture. we all have in common that we're not "vanilla", but that's the extent of it. anything beyond the very local level is just fucking fantasy.

Prettymuch. I'd go with that. [:)]

(Which is why there were two other paragraphs saying so. :p)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:10:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

LadyPact, I'm not really sure where this particular line of thought is coming from. I do know that this topic was started almost directly from the line of thought I started in a previous post. But none of my posts even alluded to the fact that I put myself on any such pedestal.

But, yes I have seen somewhat what you are describing with new people. But, they almost always either 1) move onto something else, or 2) realize the world doesn't revolve around them. As for me, I've been in the lifestyle for several years so I am by no means new to anything except these forums.

In response to group of friends. Don't screw up my original thought please. I said small community within the bigger picture. Can one community not be a piece of another community? Is Orlando not a community in the state of Florida which is also a community? All you have to do is go to events where they're handing out awards or "Ms Leather 2011" deals. That's a very good definition of what the BDSM community really is.

Go back 30 years and you would never survive in the BDSM lifestyle. Not with this fuck all attitude you have. For you it's just kinky sex, but the golden era of BDSM was never about solely kinky sex. It was about the familial connections that were made and shared. Of course, there was kinky sex involved, but it was so much more then that. And it still is. And once you accept that and join in you will realize that BDSM has so much more to offer you then just "kinky sex"



Sweetie. HOW old are you? Please do not try to tell those of us who remember being ADULTS thirty years ago what we could or could not survive.



LadyConstanze -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:14:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


Sweetie. HOW old are you? Please do not try to tell those of us who remember being ADULTS thirty years ago what we could or could not survive.


Indeed! I argued with my mom a lot but she still sent me to bed as next day was a school day! I thought I was a very mature 8 year old going on 18!



andromeda06 -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:15:43 AM)

The OP here is fantastic. But just to be contrary... you're on a message board. Just because you have similar tastes and preferences does not make you part of any "community" but consistently posting on a defined subject and having debates and answering questions and whatever the hell else goes on here... kinda makes it a community, no? A twisted crazy little thing but there's community here whether you want to label it as such or not.

Just sayin ;)



Iamsemisweet -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:17:28 AM)

I think the word community gets used far too loosely, and not just here. 
Even if this isn't a community, that is no reason to go out of one's way to be rude to newcomers.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:19:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Even if this isn't a community, that is no reason to go out of one's way to be rude to newcomers.

You're assuming anyone's going out of their way.

This comes naturally, believe me.



ThatsMissBitch -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:20:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

why do people seem to think there is more to this shit, where does this backasswards idea of a "community" come from? and why do they think we are any fucking different than any other group of random people?


It is pretty simple Hannah. People with same ideas, beliefs, style of living, blah blah what ever especially when those things seem to go against the "norm" tend to pull together in groups. Humans are pack animals and we like to be with "out own kind". We form communities where we are more comfortable being ourselves. Where we can share our commonalities, share familiarities.

It would be reasonable to except in a community of like minded people there would be acceptance and a bit of tolerance.

I suppose by your thinking the Gay Community the Leather Community or any other community are just a cover for hot kinky sex. LOL People do tend to insult and laugh at things they don't understand.



LadyPact -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:24:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

LadyPact, I'm not really sure where this particular line of thought is coming from. I do know that this topic was started almost directly from the line of thought I started in a previous post. But none of my posts even alluded to the fact that I put myself on any such pedestal.

But, yes I have seen somewhat what you are describing with new people. But, they almost always either 1) move onto something else, or 2) realize the world doesn't revolve around them. As for me, I've been in the lifestyle for several years so I am by no means new to anything except these forums.

In response to group of friends. Don't screw up my original thought please. I said small community within the bigger picture. Can one community not be a piece of another community? Is Orlando not a community in the state of Florida which is also a community? All you have to do is go to events where they're handing out awards or "Ms Leather 2011" deals. That's a very good definition of what the BDSM community really is.

Go back 30 years and you would never survive in the BDSM lifestyle. Not with this fuck all attitude you have. For you it's just kinky sex, but the golden era of BDSM was never about solely kinky sex. It was about the familial connections that were made and shared. Of course, there was kinky sex involved, but it was so much more then that. And it still is. And once you accept that and join in you will realize that BDSM has so much more to offer you then just "kinky sex"

Do yourself, and Me, an favor.  If you're going to use My name in a reply, get it right.  I didn't say shit here or anywhere else about it all being about kinky sex.  If that's what it is to somebody, I'll be the first person to tell them to have a blast.  The fact that they do doesn't affect Me in the slightest.

But, I will tell you this.  Technically, you're right. Thirty years ago, I wouldn't have been a leather person because the straight crowd was coming in more from the swingers angle.  Women like Me didn't earn their leathers back then.  Not if you weren't gay or belonged to somebody else.

I won't say shit about this life from thirty years ago because I had barely grown tits.  If you want to talk about roughly half of that, then I'm your gal.  



mnottertail -> RE: what fucking community? (8/12/2011 10:28:13 AM)

I won't say shit about this life from thirty years ago because I had barely grown tits. If you want to talk about roughly half of that, then I'm your gal.

Okie Dokie, LP....Lets talk about your right one. Thats my gal!!!! (can you do a little lipstick on it for me Joey?)

LOL.




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