RE: Why Do People Lie Online

RE: Why Do People Lie Online (Full Version)

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Reflectivesoul -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/19/2006 9:56:50 PM)
quote: "Truth has no anger" I dont agree with this because people fight everyday for what they believe their truth is. edited to say: I also think its a bit backwards because if someone didnt spend time learning and believing in their truth. ie: a Truth for me is I believe very strongly in how a sub/slave/ person should be treated, and I get damn angry when I see someone mistreated. ( ie: neglected, ignored, treated less than a human being aka doormat)

juliaoceania -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/19/2006 11:00:09 PM)
I have been perplexed by this myself. I will say there have been a couple of ocassions in which people I had been friendly with online turned out not to be what they seemed to be, or they outright lied. One of these instances was a man I knew from political chat that lied about his age, job, and marital status.... all of which we discovered when he died because his obit spelled this out. There was no motive I could determine for these lies. I came to the conclusion that his real life was not exciting enough, and he could be an architect, 38, and unmarried online. That is a sad commentary to me, that your real life is so unsatisfying you have to make up a new one. I really liked this person, had talked to him often over a couple of years, and had even exchanged many news links and such. I was sad when I learned he died, and when I found his obit I became even more saddened. The real "him" would have been just as valuable as the make believe "him". I suppose there are as many motives for lying as there are people and lies. I have always thought people who live lies to be suffering spiritually (I know not everyone believes in those concepts, but this is my post...smiles). I tend to try to feel pity for them rather than condemn them. Also, I have told untruths myself, maybe not over the internet, but I have spoken things that were untrue... and anyone that claims differently is lying to themselves and just plain full of s***. I try to live my life without lies, because I honor myself and respect myself too much to want to be inauthentic for any reason. I find the worse lies are the ones we tell ourselves and then we believe them.. but that is just me and I could be wrong

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 12:08:02 AM)
The inernet allows people to disengage reality, they can leave their boring world for a time and enter an entirely different peorsona. I think this is true on sites such as this, they live out their wildest and darkest fantasies and indulge in things they are too scared to indulge in. The problem comes when they have met someone and are expected to deliver and then they are caught out. I do a lot of work through the internet dealing with something material that has to be delivered and I have met a lot of people that I think have started out sincere in believing they can deliver the goods but when it comes to the crunch they are incapable of it and then all the excuses come or they disappear. I've tried to make sense of people like this because they know right from the off that there is a real product that has to be delivered at the end of the communication process but still they say they can do something they can't. I think many people don't really look upon lying on the internet as lying and some don't even recognize that they are lying, it doesn't enter their head that they are manipulating real people on the other end of the line, it's just another computer game. I just can't get my head round why some people tell me I will have a sample of A,B or C at my studio within the week when they haven't even got A,B or C in the first place. It doesn't make sense. They know I will be contacting them as to what has happened to the samples. It just makes them look so foolish. Some people though, are just fucking evil and that is all there is to it.

Estring -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 12:30:48 AM)
Because they can. Simple as that.

gloriousangel -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 12:38:05 AM)
They lie to make themselves look good and they dont actually realise that they are hurting people in the proccess.

MsMacComb -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 12:43:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty Because they are trolls; They are married men in closets hiding from their wives, men in their mommy's basements, thye have no life, they are teens who want masturbratory material, they are curious but don't know how to go about acting on their fantasies, they have nothing better to do with their lives, they don't think anyone will find out that are lieing, they are spinless and guttless in real life and onlien they can be 'anything/anyone' they want to be. Take your pick. Those are my top reasons why people lie online. Don't forget they are also middle aged overweight women who lie about that very fact in hopes of finding a mate. Lying is not a trait that only applies to males. [:)]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 1:00:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsMacComb Don't forget they are also middle aged overweight women who lie about that very fact in hopes of finding a mate. Lying is not a trait that only applies to males. [:)] So the thinner, middle aged, and younger/elederly women don't lie? Just the men, and the middle aged overweight women? [sm=shake.gif] M

MsMacComb -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 1:03:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: MsMacComb Don't forget they are also middle aged overweight women who lie about that very fact in hopes of finding a mate. Lying is not a trait that only applies to males. [:)] So the thinner, middle aged, and younger/elederly women don't lie? Just the men, and the middle aged overweight women? [sm=shake.gif] M Good point. But you dont and I dont so I forgot about the rest of them. [:)]

bandit25 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 1:34:02 AM)
I think MeatCleaver is right. Somehow, once some peole get behind a computer screen, they become a completely different person. Who's to know? Who's going to find out? Most of the people never intend to actually meet anyone in person. If caught in a lie, how hard is it to make a new profile and start again? Somehow, to them, the net isn't reality. It's all a fantasy world. They don't realize that there are real people behind these profiles...real people with real feelings. It's sad

agirl -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:22:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I think MeatCleaver is right. Somehow, once some peole get behind a computer screen, they become a completely different person. Who's to know? Who's going to find out? Most of the people never intend to actually meet anyone in person. If caught in a lie, how hard is it to make a new profile and start again? Somehow, to them, the net isn't reality. It's all a fantasy world. They don't realize that there are real people behind these profiles...real people with real feelings. It's sad I think that sometimes people lie for no dark, misleading reason. It can just be that they are disatisfied about aspects of themselvesor their lives, have little confidence and find it hard to be perfectly frank. Here they find an opportunity to be the person they'd LIKE to be and they can enjoy the feelings of being that person for a short while; an escape. Often people fib online about the most mundane things. Often people fib in real-life about the most mundane things. Often it can be hard to understand why people lie about the things they lie about ......lol

bandit25 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:50:05 AM)
I suppose you are right, but in my line of work, most people have an ulterior motive and no, I'm not a spy (wish I were) but am in security. I tend to be jaded, but try and give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I know for sure that they don't deserve it.

Sab -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:11:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Estring Because they can. Simple as that. Agreed.

gloriousangel -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:13:59 AM)
I have to agree to.

foxnotinsox -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:48:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Why do you think people lie online????...are they liars in their day to day lives...or does a keyboard and hiding behind a monitor somehow transform them into "Super Liar".... Hmmmm or perhaps it's because all of this is a fantasy, and online is their mental playground. Not agreeing, just musing.. Enjoy the day!

Level -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:52:51 AM)
I'm thinking everyone who has ever lived has lied..... but those that lie and decieve without guilt do it because they lack ethics. They do it because they want something, they do it because they're looking for an esteem boost, they do it to be vindictive.... all kinds of reasons.

feastie -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 4:39:18 AM)
People have lied from the beginning of time. Wasn't it the disciple Peter who denied knowing Jesus three times? There was a whopper for you. Richard Nixon lied about Watergate. Bill Clinton lied about Monica Lewinsky. Janet Jackson lied about her motivation behind the wardrobe malfunction thing. Lying is a milestone in childhood development. We're supposed to overcome it because we've learned the difference between right and wrong. Many of us do not. I lie every time I visit my cake board and post a comment on someone's absolutely awful looking cake! The thing is, everyone, (as Level has said), has lied and will probably lie again. However, does that mean that the "nice" dominant I met shouldn't have omitted telling me that he also had another woman he was seeing in another city? Of course not. But he did it and saw nothing wrong with it. People lie for a variety of reasons. Online, they can be beautiful, if they want, they can be something they are not. Online they can be anyone they wish to be. Their online time is their world and no one else's. None of the people they meet are real people, they're online people. Online people don't matter. They lie because it's easy. How is anyone going to know they've lied? Have you noticed too, that people online are much more trusting than they would normally be? They think because they've spent oodles of time with someone in emails and instant messages that they "know" this person. The victims of the Slavemaster would tell you that chatting with someone doesn't mean you know them, no matter how much time you've spent doing it.

LaTigresse -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 4:41:44 AM)
interesting forum........and wow, have I met some interesting and expert liars over the years. Have gotten stood up a few times, disappeared on, met and wanted then could not wait to get back in my car and drive 90 miles an hour all the way home, and also met a few of my very best friends between the freaks and liars. I have also told a lie or two, to the young woman that wanted me to play a shot drinking game ONLINE .....ALL DAY...said I really needed to GO!! I didn't, well maybe I did....guess it just depends on the definition of need to go. Told someone that, no they were not scary ugly as some rude bugger told her. For myself, I think its pretty much all the reason stated prior to my lil ol post here. Mostly I think its just something missing inside of them. some unhappiness with their life and/or themselves. I used to get really pissed, take it personal and want revenge, but that only ends up messing with my head and karma even more so I just have to shake my head and move on hoping some day they will lose the need to pretend to be anything other than another flawed human being like all of the rest of us. Except me of course, I am not the middle aged overweight female human I pretend to be, I am really a droid for the the planet Zoltar. Don't even ask me where that came from........its early and I have not had my coffee yet......

bridget2 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 5:28:02 AM)
I've met some liars in cyberspace. I've found that they are extremely insecure about who they are in real life; therefore, they can create what they wish they "could be" on line and with total strangers. Sad, but it happens. Just remember to read between the lines.[8D]

Blackbirdwhips -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 5:28:19 AM)
Why people lie online is much the same question as why do people lie period? Sadly it is within the bounds of human nature and everyone lies at some time in their lives,to a lesser or greater extend. BDSM websites have a tendency to draw far more liers than the average. I cant figure out why.

sublizzie -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 5:46:55 AM)
Every one who is posting on this board is lying in one way. I don't see anyone using their legal name. I know I'm not. Sometimes people lie about these simple things as a way to protect themselves. Sometimes people lie about their stats as a way to weed out fakers. Frankly, I don't remember my lies well enough to lie about more than my name. I'm too darned lazy to do anything but tell the truth about myself. I have met one person who lied about himself real time. It's possible that he is just trying to make himself seem more experienced than he really is, he's much more of a newbie than I am which is saying a lot! It's also possible that he has evil intentions. It's difficult to know. But the more one talks to him, the more inconsistencies you find. So it's not only done in on-line BDSM communities. It also happens in real life communities. It's just easier to see in real life.

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