RE: Why Do People Lie Online (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message


eruditegirl1 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:13:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

The inernet allows people to disengage reality, they can leave their boring world for a time and enter an entirely different peorsona. I think this is true on sites such as this, they live out their wildest and darkest fantasies and indulge in things they are too scared to indulge in. The problem comes when they have met someone and are expected to deliver and then they are caught out.

I do a lot of work through the internet dealing with something material that has to be delivered and I have met a lot of people that I think have started out sincere in believing they can deliver the goods but when it comes to the crunch they are incapable of it and then all the excuses come or they disappear. I've tried to make sense of people like this because they know right from the off that there is a real product that has to be delivered at the end of the communication process but still they say they can do something they can't.

I think many people don't really look upon lying on the internet as lying and some don't even recognize that they are lying, it doesn't enter their head that they are manipulating real people on the other end of the line, it's just another computer game. I just can't get my head round why some people tell me I will have a sample of A,B or C at my studio within the week when they haven't even got A,B or C in the first place. It doesn't make sense. They know I will be contacting them as to what has happened to the samples. It just makes them look so foolish.

Some people though, are just fucking evil and that is all there is to it.


Although, I don't think he is evil....lol....maybe he was afraid he couldn't live up to his online persona...cause in hindsight....our phone conversations were not as insightful as his posts.....




texasbutterfly -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:15:28 PM)

omg...are you saying that not everyone has been totally honest in every aspect of their lives while online.  i'm hurt, crushed, heartbroken...  <sorry, just had to get that out>

i think people lie because they are afraid to be true to themselves.  well, imho, it is a choice a person makes.  they have to live with the consequences of both telling the truth and telling the lie... it just depends on what they are willing to live with.




eruditegirl1 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:19:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moloch

*sarcasm*
I lie because it makes my e-penis bigger
*sarcasm*


An E-Penis...to frekin funny.....
So they are compensating....




xxmstrchasxx -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:30:53 PM)

quote:

Then you haven't had the misfortune of meeting the people I have, male or female.  I've been lied to a lot, and I bet you have been too.  Maybe the difference is knowing when you've been lied to.


Feastie,

Sure, I have been lied to offline and in person, but it's a lot easier to realize when someone is lying offline than online, at least to me after just talking to them a few minutes.

We were at a collaring in Florida.  A "Dom" and his sub came to the collaring and the "Dom" was telling everyone he went to Japan and studied with the Masters and etc.  It took most of us about 1 minute to realize this guy was trying to bullshit us into thinking he actually did this.  Him and his sub/wife broke up months later and she told us he was lying too, which we already knew.

He could have lied to us online and we wouldn't have known right away because of the inablility to ask him questions face to face and see his response and actions.





dogobedience -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:37:27 PM)

I believe it should be WHY DO SOME PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!




ScooterTrash -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:50:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

I believe it should be WHY DO SOME PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Interesting twist dog "o". I know for myself it's just natural to be honest, but it's also the safest way to be...you don't have to remember what story you told last. That's always a tipoff if I am conversing with someone on-line...ask them the same question more than once, and a few days apart...if the answer is obviously different...not only are they lying, their memory isn't the best either. As to why they lie...I think the prior posts pretty much hit it on the head...it's either because they are NOT what they would truely like to be and they are making up for it in cyberland, or they are just doing the on-line thing for kicks and never really intend to meet anyone in real life anyway. We have seen this before...to have someone contact us, or vice versa, where they are reasonably close...then when we try to set up a meeting...usually the result is a deleted profile. Kind of a shame some people don't have real lives...don't ya think?




eruditegirl1 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 2:57:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dogobedience

I believe it should be WHY DO SOME PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!


Good point....people sometimes are so worried about hurting anothers feelings...( yes dear...your ass looks small in that outfit)...that maybe if we told the truth more often...feelings would be less senisitive to the truth...(OMG are you wearing that...you look huge)




TxBlkMistress -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:08:54 PM)

It may sound heartless, but I'm tired of trying to figure out why people lie online, and I'm tired of giving them excuses.   The ultimate, is when you catch them in a lie, they either want to make you out a liar, or a fake because you won't believe their lies.

I've had, in just one person, lie about his age, like 20 years difference, location, whether he had children or not, his employment status, and a host of other things...and this loser had the nerve to call me a fake and a liar because, after many chances, told him I could not be with someone that I can not trust. 

Of course he claimed these were not lies, but he was just keeping the truth until we met in person.  As I've been told him the past, I have way too big a heart, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  Besides, like some of the posts I read before, I thought if I could put a person with the words on the computer, he had to see me as a humanbeing, and you could possibly hurt someone you met in the flesh right?.....I met him, (after many false attempts on his part), told him to come clean then and there...then no more lies.  I hadn't backed out of the parking lot before... you guessed it...more lies.  

Then when I let him go once and for all, the tirade started about me being a fake, and how I dismissed him because I couldn't have things my way...huh?  The only task I EVER gave him was to keep in contact on a daily basis...he would go for weeks and even months at a time with no contact.  The claimed love, so how can you go for so long with out talking to a loved one?  He then did what all liars do and twist it back on me...I only wanted daily contact because of "peer pressure"...again...huh?  Everything I approached him with that he didn't have an arguement for he attributed to peer pressure...explain that one to me.

And this was all just from ONE person...I've had countless others lie on many different levels

They don't care who they hurt and I'm tired of getting stomped on.  There are plenty of online only players and fantasy sites out there, they do not have to lie to people honestly trying to find someone hurting them emotionally.

I call them soultakers....they are major losers




Eric8 -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:12:23 PM)

Always thought lying here was kind of pointless. I mean if there is one thing my search has taught me its that theres a partner for every kink. If youre a married middle aged fat guy that wants a little on the side, scream it out loud. Those with that fetish will come running. If youre a huge toothless woman, theres someone out there that thinks its totally hot. I believe some people are just afraid of looking at themselves and really thinking about what they want.

Eric




TxBlkMistress -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 3:20:03 PM)

So true Eric, my point exactly.  There's no need to hurt other people.  I think they are just to lazy to search for that person that they are compatible with.   So they get a temporary rush with a lie, but once the situation gets real, that's when they disappear.

There is a difference between a "white lie" (you look good in that outfit)  and a life changing lie (yes I want the kind of things you want, and want to be with you forever) then they proceed to make plans for getting together, for meetings and life,  which they have no intention of putting into action. 

So the person that they are lying to stops their search and turns down what could be serious people for this loser.




jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 5:37:21 PM)

greetings erudite,

i cant figure some people out ;especially thieves and liars and n.g.(no good) b.s. artists.
i would think that you can be more honest online ;cause you can say and be who you are without interference ;but i met a guy(good looking too; go figure) who says: i go online in the s and m community and say i'm a gurl and a slave ,and, i get all these people to reply to me ,and, i said what good is that? why don't you use it to meet someone, or say how you feel ,and, i could have talked to him for 3 hours ,but, as my mom would say sometimes, when she found she was talking to a simple nutcase;
what good is the english language?! psych. says: don't ever ask a sick person WHY, cause you don't wanna know....
and, i realyzed ;i'm wasting my time ;talking to a psycho ;ever talk to a nutcase,or worse ;ever argue with a real nutcase? you have no idea how you can get stuck in limbo-land, and waste your time,till you realyze ;hey what am i talking to a loon for.... ;so i can't tell you WHY certain people do abnormal things ,and ,you ,probably don't wanna' know, but, a smart intelligent person considers communication an opportunity ,and, makes use of it, to the BETTERMENT ,AND contribution ,OF SOCIETY ,not destruction of the community with which they deal on a day to day basis.
there's, just nothing more destructive ,than a psychotic PSYCHOPATH;
IT IS ESTIMATED ,THAT,per person; PSYCHOS cause more destruction ,than any number of people, put together ,and, if given the opportunity to use communications ;it will be destructive use in general, and, useless.
some ,ONLINE PATRONS don't lie ;they are just ,not upfront ,or have an agenda to meet you, but ,don't want to reveal themselves ,until much latter ;that's usually a very smart woman ,and,/or  a person ,that uses tactics ,of 'discretion' which is to be appreciated ,not critisized....,if they don't ever use some FORM OF ,'intentional-deciept'(the type of lies as in "the sin of omission",ie: ,just not saying... );you'll find out in public someday; what the difference is, between a really poised-person ,and someone  who is an outrite, indescreet-deviant ;ie: one who uses "public degredation-ceremonies".( a deviant, that  blurts out childlike truth;to degrade you, only in public! ) .
in short :
it's always  matter of degree ,but,specifically:  "there is no virtue in always telling the truth"
, only way to proove that is, to use the anology of a natzi asking are you jewish ;what do you do?
lie!;
under threat of death;
and ,death can also be ;a matter of degrees;
IE:'death' can be anything ,from Oppression to Murder ,giving the perfect logical person some reason to lie.




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 5:38:41 PM)

IMO..I think people lie more so on line because,more people seek on line the person they fantasize about in their lives,so hence said liars can take their time, figure out what it is you desire and make it come true.Liars are so prolific because the searchers "want" to believe,more than anything...be well..Tempting




TxBlkMistress -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:08:55 PM)

That's kind of what confuses me.  Like someone else posted, this is the perfect medium to "finally" be yourself, and find exactly the person for you, fantasy or otherwise, so why not use it?   Why lie?  You can't get your dream person that way, you are still "settling" if you pretend to fit in.  I think there are simply just pathetic lonely people out there that set out to hurt other people, probably because of something in their past that happened to them. (one did actually confess this to me) Personally, I'm tired of paying for the deeds of others.

And as for wanting to believe someone, I'm sure some do, but the majority of people want to believe that there is good in people and try very hard to give the person a chance, and not put them down because some jerk hurt you in the past.




iliv2servher -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:24:12 PM)

[Much good stuff snipped]
 
quote:



They don't care who they hurt and I'm tired of getting stomped on.  There are plenty of online only players and fantasy sites out there, they do not have to lie to people honestly trying to find someone hurting them emotionally.



They call it sociopathic behavior.  Unfortunately, lying happens more often than not here on the Internet.  And I agree with all the posts that believe people lie because they think that they can always get away with it.  And yes, we all lie at times.  Even lying through omission is still a lie.  What really matters is if there was a deliberate intent to decieve or whether we just didn't want to hurt someone's feelings.  I've always said that I'd rather learn the truth because then I'm forced to deal with it.  There is just no argument against it.
 
Having said that, I believe that the ultimate payback is that the lier will eventually be caught in his or her own lie, thereby destroying all trust and resulting in irreversable damage to that relationship.
 
-iliv2servHer
 
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."
 
-Old proverb






SweetSarijane -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:34:30 PM)

People, as said before, lie because they can. It's easier generally to lie online and not get caught as quickly or easily as offline, not always but often yes.

If someone lies online then chances are they lie offline as well.

There are, as has been stated, numerous reasons people do it.

Living in a fantasy world.

Playing games.

the list is endless.

People do it online and offline, bdsm and vanilla, male and female.

You just have to try and read between the lines and watch for red flags.

Just my little 2 cents tossed in.




TxBlkMistress -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:43:25 PM)

amen....unfortunately




TxBlkMistress -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:44:51 PM)

I agree Sarijane, but my "lie detector" is all worn out from over use.....lol




SweetSarijane -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/20/2006 6:55:56 PM)

lol I hear ya!  Mine gets used a LOT.




mistoferin -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 8:49:27 AM)

I've come to accept the fact that there will be liars as a given. What I find interesting is that they fail to see how utterly transparent and ridiculous they are at times. They come on claiming vast amounts of knowledge or years experience and then ask the most basic of newbie questions or give advice to someone that clearly identifies them as the clueless beings that they are. It's something that I see on here quite commonly. So....to all of those out there who THINK that they are successfully pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.....I have to tell you......you look like idiots. You can fool some of the people some of the time....but you will never fool all of the people all of the time.




Dustyn -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 10:53:17 AM)

As with several other facets of dealing with people online, anonymity allows for a relaxation of manners, etiquette and most of all, honesty.  People that know me, in person, learn in short order that I'm painfully honest if asked a direct question.  I just don't pull punches so much as an iota.  I do the same online, but just because I say it doesn't automatically mean that you, the reader, have to believe it.

It all ties with in the concept of trust, and just how willing you are to give it to someone.

Personally, I just accept things at face value until new information shows up to debunk the previous information and I go from there.  Hell, I know a guy that says he gave a ninjitsu demonstration for the emporer of Japan.  Pretty damned sure it never happened, but I'll give him a grain of possibility that it might have happened.  Granted, one grain of sand compared to the entire Sahara desert isn't much, but still better than nothing.

- Dustyn




Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125