RE: Why Do People Lie Online (Full Version)

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candystripper -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 11:10:55 AM)

Here's one:   why do P/pl lie (by speech or ommission) and then go on to MEET in r/l?  What the hell purpose does that serve?
 
candystripper



juliaoceania -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 11:17:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have been perplexed by this myself. I will say there have been a couple of ocassions in which people I had been friendly with online turned out not to be what they seemed to be, or they outright lied. One of these instances was a man I knew from political chat that lied about his age, job, and marital status.... all of which we discovered when he died because his obit spelled this out. There was no motive I could determine for these lies. I came to the conclusion that his real life was not exciting enough, and he could be an architect, 38, and unmarried online. That is a sad commentary to me, that your real life is so unsatisfying you have to make up a new one. I really liked this person, had talked to him often over a couple of years, and had even exchanged many news links and such. I was sad when I learned he died, and when I found his obit I became even more saddened. The real "him" would have been just as valuable as the make believe "him".

I suppose there are as many motives for lying as there are people and lies. I have always thought people who live lies to be suffering spiritually (I know not everyone believes in those concepts, but this is my post...smiles). I tend to try to feel pity for them rather than condemn them. Also, I have told untruths myself, maybe not over the internet, but I have spoken things that were untrue... and anyone that claims differently is lying to themselves and just plain full of s***. I try to live my life without lies, because I honor myself and respect myself too much to want to be inauthentic for any reason. I find the worse lies are the ones we tell ourselves and then we believe them.. but that is just me and I could be wrong


What you said makes me think....his marriage of 12 years recently broke up...before he was married...he was popular...with woman...or so he said...so maybe he is trying to relive his youth aka happier days through the internet....


This man was a handsome greek fellow in his youth and he posted pics of himself when he was over 20 yrs younger. I think that those who post pics older than 5 yrs are lying by at least omission, they are giving the impression they are younger looking than they really are.

There are a lot of men that have the middle age crisis, they trade in their 40 yr old wife for two twenties, buy the sports car with the divorce settlement, and get hair plugs to recapture their youth... thankfully that is not as common as it was 20 years ago...lol. Perhaps part of the reason why is because they never have to actually leave their wife to have their fantasy online? I do not know.



BitaTruble -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 12:06:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Here's one:   why do P/pl lie (by speech or ommission) and then go on to MEET in r/l?  What the hell purpose does that serve?
 
candystripper


OK, I admit this one really throws me for a loop as well. I mean, if you think about it, lying when you have zero intention of ever meeting someone.. OK, it's not right, but damn.. you 'want' to meet someone so you lay all these lies on them.. and then what? You meet, you are a completely different person and whatever goal you hoped to accomplish with your lies is dashed anyway. ::shakes head:: Himself and I meet with a couple of people yesterday, and once again, we had a great time. The people we were expecting are exactly who we met and we have some new faces to introduce at our next munch. Maybe I've been lucky, but I've only met one person from collarme who wasn't exactly what he's claimed to be.. and overall, the people who we have met have been much more than we were expecting in terms of fun, intellect and overall character and quality.

That lying then meeting thing.. nope, I just don't get it at all.

Celeste



HoosierScorpio -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 12:32:58 PM)

I think it is sad they must feel they need to lie on line and to me these would make them unsafe to play with in real life. You will never know if they are going to lie to you they are just going to tie you up and play with you instead rape you. I am up front and honest with every one on line and in person. But because they been lied to too many times they thing I am just like every one else. This lifestyle has to be about honesty and trust a how you can trust some one who has your life in there hands. In my eyes if they lie they are unsafe and untrust worthy to dominate you.



MLordEd -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 12:52:57 PM)

I agree with pretty much all of what has already been said, especially how it is easier to lie on the Internet or phone because there is a level of disconnect there, easier to hold back, easier to fabricate, and easier for the listener to believe because of the limited information.

Some have said that there is no easy reason, but I think I may have come up with one, (or one I heard sometime).

People lie because they think it will get them what they want.

People who lie have made a decision that what they want, and lying to get it, is worth the risk of being caught. Of course it is obvious that many people make very foolish decisions, deceiving themselves too about the chances and consequences of being caught and most don't consider such consequences as lost honor, or lost reputation. This is why I think it is so common.

That and the fact that many simply get away with it. I know first hand of many couples who had one side outright lie, get caught, plead they will never do it again, and be forgiven. Repeatedly. The own lying has now been taught that the consequences are now much less, and so acceptable. The liar has learned that lying gets them what they want.

I've been lied to, and have found that it was very hard to build up any level of trust again. A lot of honorable deeds were needed to replace one poor one. And I've also learned that deeds are what counts, not words. Look to what someone does first and foremost, then listen to the words.

(I can be preachy because I have such a poor memory that I KNOW I can't be a good liar! <grin>)





apb -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 12:56:49 PM)

I agree with you 1000% ....  [sm=applause.gif] especially on the memory part ...

Mostly it seems to me folks lie online because they can - just as stated earlier in the comment about dogs licking their own butts.  Pity.



fastlane -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 2:40:23 PM)

People lie, people cheat, people hate, people abuse....You know what...those are the people you avoid.
People also Love, stay true, help others, perform random acts of kindness, make other's laugh and are great friends...those are the people you should surround yourself with.
[;)]Kevin



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/21/2006 3:31:05 PM)

Sometimes people lie to protect others or to save them from something they might not be able to handle or understand. I can admit to doing that. I have a big heart and at times its easier to cause someoen a little bit of hurt real qucik verses letting them feel or hurt more later on. Things are not always as black and white as people would like to think. Online is like being in the 'real world.'



Dustyn -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/22/2006 11:43:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

People lie, people cheat, people hate, people abuse....You know what...those are the people you avoid.
People also Love, stay true, help others, perform random acts of kindness, make other's laugh and are great friends...those are the people you should surround yourself with.
[;)]Kevin


In general, I do try to do this, mate.  Just don't always see clearly at first.  *chuckling softly*

- Dustyn



Dustyn -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/22/2006 11:46:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Sometimes people lie to protect others or to save them from something they might not be able to handle or understand. I can admit to doing that. I have a big heart and at times its easier to cause someoen a little bit of hurt real qucik verses letting them feel or hurt more later on. Things are not always as black and white as people would like to think. Online is like being in the 'real world.'


While I admit that I have been tempted to this exact thing from time to time, I usually just decide that it's easier to get past being hurt than being deceived.  I know that is how I would prefer things to work, but things rrely work out the way I would like at times.  Ah well, deal with things as they come up.  Making plans simply makes it that much easier for a SNAFU to make an appearance at a bad time. *chuckling*

- Dustyn



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/23/2006 11:02:39 AM)

They lie because they arent real Dom/Dommes or sub/slaves. The computer is just entertainment to them. They forget real people are on the other end.



TedEbear -> RE: Why Do People Lie Online (5/23/2006 5:29:32 PM)

quote:

I have read some of the posts on here...I have found quite a few very insightful people...so I have a question as stated in my post...Why do you think people lie online????...are they liars in their day to day lives...or does a keyboard and hiding behind a monitor somehow transform them into "Super Liar"....
Who knows I might get lucky and have a few liars tell me their motivation....
Thanks


First off I really don't believe that people lie just because the internet offers some anonimity. Both men and women lie to others and themselves as a normal part of social interaction, to a certain degree it is socially acceptable to do just that. Some of it may be self delusional or just wishfull thinking. Even in some cases it is because we know that another individual doesn't want to hear the trueth, let alone accept it.

Let us not forget that this forum is about fantasy and the quest to live it out to one degree or another.

So I ask, do you really expect truethfullness and honesty? Or do you prefer a lie wraped up in a sugar coating that you want to be the trueth? I have read a few post by persons who seem to be completely up front honest about what it is that they seek, specifically the inclusion of sexual intimacy in their quest for a BDSM partner, But get treated as being scum for the crime of truethfullness and honesty. Now obviously such a persons individual preference may vary from yours, generic yours, but that dosn't make it any less or more valid.

Lieing for the most part is to make ourselves feel better by portraying oursleves the way we wish we are, or the way we wish others to see us.

Ted



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