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young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 9:38:53 AM

MsSofiaprincess

Posts: 20
Joined: 5/20/2011
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hello to all your goddesses out there!
my name's Sofia, I'm young, only been into the lifestyle a few months but have realised that i really enjoy it. as i am getting more contacts i am having more requests for sessions, as I'm new and only have a small flat to work from and no real equipment per say I'm still finding a little hard to get into my stride
could i have some advice on the following;
* a guys coming to my flat for a session how do i keep safe (i have people on text alert if you catch my drift but anything else like licence plates etc)
*my "routine" is a little wooden. any sexy fun ideas any one could suggest. what are good humiliation exercises etc etc
*does it matter that i cant afford equipment yet, does homemade make do?
*how i know if a guy really isn't enjoying himself lol

i know you're all busy but any advice at all would be greatly appreciated

s x

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 9:55:51 AM

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You could figure out the play side of things before you start charging.

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 9:59:29 AM

MsSofiaprincess

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Joined: 5/20/2011
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fair comment i think im doing okay, not completely inexperienced, just hoping for some extra help also, to build up a respectable kit box i have to pay for it somehow. anyways thanks for the advice xx

(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 10:13:17 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2011
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Challenge your victims to singing happy birthday during wax play.
Sing Like a Virgin to them if using a strap on.

Just a thought.

(in reply to MsSofiaprincess)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 10:20:05 AM

MsSofiaprincess

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Joined: 5/20/2011
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i love it!! thanks!!! x

(in reply to Ninebelowzero)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:04:26 PM

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If you want to be a pro, then you take the word literally. What professional do you use as a customer that you walk in and they tell you that they are just learning?

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:07:14 PM

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Excellent point, LP! It's like the difference between getting a haircut at the beauty school and at a salon... which one is worth more?

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:37:52 PM

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Get Thee to a munch young lady and get to know people. There might be a pro there that would be looking for an apprentice. You'll probably have to do the heavy lifting and maybe handle a few of the clients she either doesn't like or is too busy for but a mentor is the way to go.

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:39:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Excellent point, LP! It's like the difference between getting a haircut at the beauty school and at a salon... which one is worth more?

I'm very glad to say I have absolutely no idea.

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:41:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Excellent point, LP! It's like the difference between getting a haircut at the beauty school and at a salon... which one is worth more?

I'm very glad to say I have absolutely no idea.

Truly I don't either... having never gotten a beauty school haircut. But I suspect that my hairdresser is worth every penny.

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:45:35 PM

SweetieinControl

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Joined: 8/20/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Get Thee to a munch young lady and get to know people. There might be a pro there that would be looking for an apprentice. You'll probably have to do the heavy lifting and maybe handle a few of the clients she either doesn't like or is too busy for but a mentor is the way to go.

In a way, Hillwilliam said what I was going to.

I suggest becoming an apprentice for a Pro-domme.

You can learn techniques, gain new ideas, and meet more clients. You'll get information, skills, and all your questions answered better than the internet.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:51:08 PM

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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Truly I don't either... having never gotten a beauty school haircut. But I suspect that my hairdresser is worth every penny.

True story: I get my hair cut at a tiny little chinese place in chinatown. My mum has really liked my last few haircuts, so I took her with me. The place is so seedy that she genuinely thought the chief hairdresser guy was a pimp until he started cutting hair.

But hey - she got a really amazing cut!

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 1:54:38 PM

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I don't know how the situation is in the UK, but here? I dunno about the apprentice thing. I was approached by folks who were interested, but essentially they were interested in getting business. If there isnt a ton of business, are you going to be cutting in?

Making friends of other femdoms is first of all more fun, and a good way to see a range of activities.

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 2:33:36 PM

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I know that you asked for the opinions from the ladies, but I'd like to add a thought.

The BDSM community is fairly small. Because of that, your reputation is probably the most important thing that you have. If you have a bad one, word travels fast.

With that in mind, I'd suggest that you go slowly in actually setting up sessions. And if you plan to charge for the sessions, then you should go even slower. Nobody wants to get in the chair of the new hairdresser, or stand in the line of the cashier who's getting trained at the grocery store.

I'd suggest that you read as many books, watch as many videos, and follow as many on-line forums as you possibly can to increase your knowledge base. But more importantly, I'd suggest that you join the local BDSM organization. They will have play parties where you can watch experienced Dommes in action. If you're patient, and seem sincere, many will even be happy to answer your questions. Over time, they may even be comfortable allowing you to join their scene.

Frankly, as a male sub, I'd be reluctant to have a session with someone who would come into an on-line forum like this one and ask questions that are as basic as what you've asked. But everybody has to start somewhere, so take advantage of every opportunity you can find to increase your knowledge base.

And if you plan to charge, don't do so until you have enough knowledge and experience to be worth charging for. Otherwise, you'll ruin your reputation, and reputations are hard to restore.

Good luck!
-Roch

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 8/25/2011 2:35:44 PM >

(in reply to MsSofiaprincess)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 7:16:26 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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Still playing your character are you Sofia?

(in reply to MsSofiaprincess)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/25/2011 7:33:26 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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OOOOH! Backstory??

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/26/2011 6:39:24 AM

MsSofiaprincess

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Joined: 5/20/2011
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'fraid not.... just a misunderstanding!!!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/27/2011 1:26:43 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Your in the right place for getting advice. There's plenty of Mistresses on Collarme and some are pros. I got lots of help and advice from GoddessClub.com where they train males and tutor women so you might find them really helpful too.

For safety I learned getting their license and phone number and name is good for safety but you have to respect their privacy if you get clients personal info. Trust is important.

For humiliation you have to ask the client what he finds most humiliating and then try that. Each person is really different. Be careful with experimenting especially if they're paying you and expecting their own fantasy to be done.

Begin with the basic tools like whip and paddle and rope and then go from there. If a client wants a certain tool ask him to bring it with him. Some slaves have a big collection. That makes it more clean and sanitary too.

Hope this and the other resources I suggested help you.

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to MsSofiaprincess)

RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/27/2011 2:44:42 PM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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FR

I do find this stuff about pro-dommes and their clients fascinating. It must be quite an art, pro-domming. Sometimes, I really do wish it could work for me. I could marry a vanilla woman, but pay for some pro-domming just like some men pay for dope or coke when they want it. Or membership of a golf-club, or whatever.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com

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RE: young domme seeks guidance - 8/27/2011 3:04:39 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSofiaprincess

advice on the following;

* a guys coming to my flat for a session how do i keep safe (i have people on text alert if you catch my drift but anything else like licence plates etc)

*my "routine" is a little wooden. any sexy fun ideas any one could suggest. what are good humiliation exercises etc etc

*does it matter that i cant afford equipment yet, does homemade make do?

*how i know if a guy really isn't enjoying himself lol

i know you're all busy but any advice at all would be greatly appreciated

s x

Safety. I do not allow clients in my home, and I don't think others should either. It has a habit of leading to things like stalkers. And I.D to start off with. I personally don't meet clients alone either.

I don't do humiliation. I do pain. So I can't very well help you with this one humiliation varies from person to person. Corporal punishment and verbal abuse would be my only suggestions.

I am the martha stewart of bondage toys so no you don't have to buy them. Just learn how to make them well and care for them properly.

If he weren't enjoying himself on some level he wouldn't be paying you. So get over that thought now. If you mean are you bad at it and he isn't enjoying it in that manner..don't worry he will let you know.

As to the apprentice idea. It's a good thought but I wouldn't do it for you and neither would anyone I know without charging you. Time is money after all.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 8/27/2011 3:06:34 PM >

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We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to MsSofiaprincess)

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