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I think it's clear that Awareness's thoughts are his own and his opinions are too? ..with or without the red pen.

agirl

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
I don't want a man to be with me just for what he thinks maybe I will one day become I want him to be with me for who I am right now and just enjoy what I may become later, later.

  When you're bringing less to the table because of past issues, that's baggage.  Dealing with your baggage is your responsibility.  If you have no commitment to dealing with that and expect a dude to be cool with that, then you're aiming for a guy without standards.

It's not like you're the plump girl in school the guy's hooking up with because he thinks he can turn you into a supermodel.  Oral is a pretty fundamental part of sex.  I wouldn't bother with a sub that said "no oral, but maybe one day in the future" - fuck that.  That's gameplaying around one of the fundamentals of a sexual interaction.  It's your past, your issues, you should already have the commitment in place to deal with it - none of this crap around "see what happens".

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I never said I want to stagnate, in fact if you knew me you would know stagnation is one of my biggest fears. I am one of the most ambitious people you will ever meet constantly reaching for the stars and pushing myself to grow but that doesn’t mean I don't want someone that will take me as I am right now.

  You're prepared to stagnate on this issue and expect a Dom to tolerate that.  No Dom worth his socks actually will.  Progress is expected and demanded.

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If you don't want me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.

  First off, you're not Marilyn Monroe.  Second - you're damn right I don't.  I expect your best.  I'm not going to enter into an interaction with someone whereby they make excuses for not bringing their A game to the table.

I disagree, why are my hard limits any less valid than someone elses just because mine are routed in past abuse? Someone here said it and they were right, a hard limit is a hard limit period end of story.

This is part of an issue I have been working on getting over my entire adult life but sometimes you have to see that some things are too painful emotionaly to simply solve. That doesnt mean you dont continue to work on them and it also doesnt mean that even if you continue to work on them that you will succeed in fixing it all.

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ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

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I think it's clear that Awareness's thoughts are his own and his opinions are too? ..with or without the red pen.

agirl

All the words in red were added by MDA [;)]

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Thank you very much MistressDarkArt!

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
I disagree, why are my hard limits any less valid than someone elses just because mine are routed in past abuse? Someone here said it and they were right, a hard limit is a hard limit period end of story.

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This is part of an issue I have been working on getting over my entire adult life but sometimes you have to see that some things are too painful emotionaly to simply solve. That doesnt mean you dont continue to work on them and it also doesnt mean that even if you continue to work on them that you will succeed in fixing it all.

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
you somewhat palatable, Awareness, and to bring your ahem...awareness...back into focus where it belongs. You're not the be all and end all of male dominants in my opinion so don't attempt to make blanket statements for every male dominant out there. It's pretty obvious MagiksSlave is doing all she can to put her 'A' game out there...what are you doing?

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

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This is part of an issue I have been working on getting over my entire adult life but sometimes you have to see that some things are too painful emotionaly to simply solve. That doesnt mean you dont continue to work on them and it also doesnt mean that even if you continue to work on them that you will succeed in fixing it all.

  I understand that.  You're not the first woman I've encountered who's dealt with such things.  I'm not saying that a Dominant who interacts with you can't approach the subject with respect for what you've endured and an understanding of your emotions around the issue.  What I'm saying is that I wouldn't accept an unwillingness to work on it.  You responded by saying you want to be valued for who you are and I'm pointing out that everything factors into that valuation, including your willingness to deal with such issues.  A sub who demonstrates a willingness to do so will be more highly valued than one who doesn't.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

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This is part of an issue I have been working on getting over my entire adult life but sometimes you have to see that some things are too painful emotionaly to simply solve. That doesnt mean you dont continue to work on them and it also doesnt mean that even if you continue to work on them that you will succeed in fixing it all.

  I understand that.  You're not the first woman I've encountered who's dealt with such things.  I'm not saying that a Dominant who interacts with you can't approach the subject with respect for what you've endured and an understanding of your emotions around the issue.  What I'm saying is that I wouldn't accept an unwillingness to work on it.  You responded by saying you want to be valued for who you are and I'm pointing out that everything factors into that valuation, including your willingness to deal with such issues.  A sub who demonstrates a willingness to do so will be more highly valued than one who doesn't.

Brace yourself. Are you sitting down?

We agree.

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

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ORIGINAL: Focus50

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

I was actually diagnosed with TMJ last year (sevear facial pain, neck aches sore upper jaw, reduced mobility and clicking, all do to stress and subsaquent clenching of my teeth.) This isn't the reason I feel unable to give a bj, I never really thought about and if it would make me unable as it wasn't anything I was able to do to begin with but now that you say it... just fuck... even if I was able to work on the emotional reason behind it, I may not actually physically be able to do it X_x lets just throw another wrench in the system why don't we?

I think this "clenching of teeth" would accelerate my compassion and understanding at quite a rate of knots.... We'd certainly have great syncrosity in the stress department. [8|]

Focus.

LOL Yes I think this is a very good reason for any man to want to leave this limit alone... I never really thought about it... "Sure Ill give you a BJ.... oh by the way I have a bad habit of clenching my teeth, I can't really control it..."

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I needed some things from him however...: one was not to smell (not *smell* exactly but it's the best descriptor I can come up with)

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Even just getting on my knees in front of the man with the intention to TRY gives me a complete melt down... panic attack-hyperventalation the shakes... Kills the scene dead.

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
you somewhat palatable, Awareness, and to bring your ahem...awareness...back into focus where it belongs. You're not the be all and end all of male dominants in my opinion so don't attempt to make blanket statements for every male dominant out there. It's pretty obvious MagiksSlave is doing all she can to put her 'A' game out there...what are you doing?
Any woman who doesn't understand that all viewpoints are inherently subjective wouldn't get past the gate because she'd be too stupid to even have a hope of keeping up with me.

You, for example, simply would not qualify. Too little understanding, too many issues. I am not going to qualify all my statements so that your precious little ego isn't threatened. You're an adult, everyone's viewpoint is subjective - deal with it.

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just not in reply to MS who has stated that she's working on it.

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ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

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ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
you somewhat palatable, Awareness, and to bring your ahem...awareness...back into focus where it belongs. You're not the be all and end all of male dominants in my opinion so don't attempt to make blanket statements for every male dominant out there. It's pretty obvious MagiksSlave is doing all she can to put her 'A' game out there...what are you doing?
Any woman who doesn't understand that all viewpoints are inherently subjective wouldn't get past the gate because she'd be too stupid to even have a hope of keeping up with me.

You, for example, simply would not qualify. Too little understanding, too many issues. I am not going to qualify all my statements so that your precious little ego isn't threatened. You're an adult, everyone's viewpoint is subjective - deal with it.

I so agree.

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Anyway… I wanted to get an idea of what you domly like people thought of someone who would not give oral, at all.

Is it a must?

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On the other hand, boys...don't change a thing. It makes it quite a simple matter for women seeking an actual loving human connection to bypass you both.