RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped?

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 6:22:33 PM

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I think the OP was using a extreme example to
suss out female perceptions of masculinity.
Could a woman see a man who had been used
like a woman by another man as a man?
The rape example could bring up images
of helplessness, of if he can't take care of
himself how is he going to take care of me?
Then unwillingly or not there is the image of
him being used sexually by another man.
I don't think he was looking necessarily for
nasty sides as much as iirrational and involuntarily responses. That he was
asking a section of women
specifically who might have or some portion of
them have rigid perceptions of masculinity is not that off the wall.

< Message edited by Winterapple -- 9/20/2011 6:32:29 PM >

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 6:24:04 PM

NiceGuyNihilist

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Winterapple to the rescue again. You're hired.

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to Winterapple)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 6:44:03 PM

NiceGuyNihilist

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To respond to the accusation that I'm just looking for validation of my perception of female nature: Unless I'm just some kind of anomalous man, and am projecting my own fears onto the rest of men, I think it's safe to say most any man would be terrified that women would think less of him if they knew he had been raped. One of the rape victims in the video, who was interviewed anonymously, said he would probably never tell his girlfriend out of fear she might leave him. The question is, Is that a legitimate fear? And if so, why?

I don't think it's necessary to be a rape victim to understand his position. It's only necessary to be a man with the usual male ego, the usual male fears.

Edited for grammar.

< Message edited by NiceGuyNihilist -- 9/20/2011 6:46:01 PM >

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 7:42:32 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

Winterapple to the rescue again. You're hired.

Don't let it go to your head, she really doesn't think that, she just wants to fuck you.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 7:44:41 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

Is that a legitimate fear? And if so, why?

Which has been repeatedly answered in the negative, yet you keep asking it. And that is what leads some of us to believe you are seeking validation for your own perception.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 8:48:32 PM

NiceGuyNihilist

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quote:

Out

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

Winterapple to the rescue again. You're hired.
Don't let it go to your head, she really doesn't think that, she just wants to fuck you.

And she doesn't even yet know that I'm 6'6" with rock-hard shoulders and triceps. This can only get better.

Oh, and I promise not to let it go to my head.

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 9:00:13 PM

NocturnalStalker

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

What do you think he was looking for, then?

Ah, god, Zeph, I generally *hate* amateur shrinks. In my early twenties I cracked up good and proper and saw a professional therapist for four years. During that time, by coincidence, I met so many tedious little twats who fancied themselves as amateur shrinks. Vain, narcissistic and profoundly screwed up little tits, every one of them. Windbags who'd learned that cod-psychoanalysing others was a fine way of forgetting about their own neuroses while at the same time beefing up their own self-images . . . .

However, I'm sure that the OP isn't like this, which is why he'll no doubt be returning to comment any time now.

Hey, hey, I may be vain, narcissistic, and screwed-up but I'm certainly not... uh... what was the last thing you said in that tirade?

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 9:06:15 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Hey NGN, how about we put this question to a survey?

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 9:49:23 PM

NiceGuyNihilist

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Suits me.

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 9:52:58 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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OK, exactly what question do you want asked? It has to be askable without a lot of preamble, and can't be specifically oriented to BDSM, because we'll be asking the general student population with no way of knowing their kink status.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 9:59:12 PM

NiceGuyNihilist

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"If you were to learn that a man you were interested in sexually had been the victim of a male-on-male rape in his adult life, would that diminish your interest in him to any degree?"

How's that?

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/20/2011 10:18:20 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Sounds good. We'll have some data in a few days.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 4:04:27 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

"If you were to learn that a man you were interested in sexually had been the victim of a male-on-male rape in his adult life, would that diminish your interest in him to any degree?"

How's that?

NGN, I suggested to Heather that the question be changed to eliminate the word victim because it has certain connotations and will probably skew the responses. How do you feel about changing it to something like "subjected to male-on-male rape" instead?

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 11:03:36 AM

NiceGuyNihilist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

"If you were to learn that a man you were interested in sexually had been the victim of a male-on-male rape in his adult life, would that diminish your interest in him to any degree?"

How's that?

NGN, I suggested to Heather that the question be changed to eliminate the word victim because it has certain connotations and will probably skew the responses. How do you feel about changing it to something like "subjected to male-on-male rape" instead?

"Subjected" has the same sort of connotations, but I agree that it's a little more neutral. Let's go with that.

After I'd shut off the computer last night, it occurred to me that I'd like a question to be asked of the men: "If you had been subjected to male-on-male rape at some time in your adult life, would you be at all inclined to withhold that knowledge from women on the grounds that they might find you less desirable?" I welcome any recommendations for amendments to that one, too.

Also, if anyone would like to start a poll regarding NGN's possible status as a nosy jackass, I give my full consent. Not that anything will change.

_____________________________

“Consider it: every person you have ever met, every person will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?"

Sam Harris

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 11:14:16 AM

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OK, the change has been noted, we will be gone a few hours, we have some....things, yeah, things. We have some "things" to take care of. When we get back we will check for the final wordings and will amend our other thread and notify our German interviewer as well.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 1:40:20 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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The words male-on-male in both questions could be eliminated making it the more neutral rape. After all rape is rape whether by a man or a woman with a strapon right? Besides the first is more common anyway.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 2:20:00 PM

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And perhaps change "subjected to" to the even more neutral "experienced".

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- Miss Marie

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 3:15:45 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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and putting simply rape is even more neutral

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 4:23:01 PM

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Would or could a woman still love and desire a man who has experienced something that shook his self confidence and made him feel less than a man is probably more to the point.

And can the question be asked without people
feeling their integrity is being impugned by the
question itself?

< Message edited by Winterapple -- 9/21/2011 4:25:27 PM >

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud

(in reply to Winterapple)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/21/2011 6:31:00 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
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Oh dear Lord, who cares? It's a dumb little survey where 4 hot flirtatious girls are asking a bunch of people an awkward somewhat embarrassing sex-related question. It's not scientific, it's mostly just fun! I mean look at what our last poll told us, that was an interesting result now wasn't it?

It's NGN's survey, we're going with his questions. He's the client, so to speak.

(in reply to Winterapple)

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