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RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 6:34:53 PM   
TNhoneysuckle


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/15/2006
From: middle TN
Status: offline 		so where did Rose go? she starts a post claiming to mean no disrespect then includes almost immediately that "Master hates fat people " i personally dont care what your master hates, cause you chose him, not me lol

(in reply to kassidy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 6:45:07 PM   
MasterR001


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		If one is healthy and confortable with their weight, I don't have a problem with it.


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 6:58:23 PM   
Halcyone


Posts: 93
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442
Can I ask how any sub / slave can look in the mirror and be pleased with themselves being that way?


I am overweight and struggling to lose that weight, not out of health concerns although that's certainly a benefit (and arguably the right goal to aim for), but because I do not like how I look in the mirror. However, even while I was at my ideal weight and had an absolutely stunning body (hindsight really is perfect!), I didn't like how I looked in the mirror. My body dysmorphic disorder was a symptom of my low self-esteem and it's something I'm still struggling with.

Is it possible that when you lose the weight that's bothering you, you'll still be disatisfied with yourself? Then perhaps it isn't really weight that's your problem.

Also, why does the weight of others concern you?

quote:
I see so many overweight subs and slaves in the lifestyle and I would like to understand why there are so many.
Is it because of the weight?
Is it because of insecurities?


The community is going to reflect the pool it's drawn from, simple as that. To suggest that "so many" subs and slaves are that way because of weight and insecurity is offensive, especially when you aren't aiming the same spotlight on the dominants. It would be just as offensive for someone to suggest that your dom chose an overweight submissive with self-esteem issues because he knew he couldn't control a confident woman with no body issues, overweight or not.

quote:


Do the subs and slaves that are overweight feel they can please there Dom in ALL ways being overweight.


I do please Sir in all ways. He is far kinder on the subject of my looks than I am, but that's because I have a disorder that prevents me from realistically judging my outer appearance. However, my physical appearance doesn't keep me from being the girl he wants.


(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 6:59:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Okay, here is where I piss everyone off even worse than normal.  The scene is over representative of overweight people because when thin people come in and look around for someone thin and don't see them, they leave.  The scene is self selecting for large people.

Same goes for people who are more monogamous, they come into the scene, see that it is mostly centered around people who play with more than one partner and they TEND (meaning if this doesn't apply to you and unless you are the only person in the world, you don't need to say it doesn't apply to you) to leave the scene.

One day I dream of creating the S&M group for people who hate S&M groups.


My former dom used to complain about this being a problem, and he told me if I ever went out into the "scene" in Atlanta I would see obese people (btw, it doesnt bother me to see overweight people scene, I do not have a head trip with that). He wanted me to find out if this was true in California and maybe try to determine a reason for it by using research methodology I learned in my studies.... While I am a little curious to know "why" or even "if" this is true... I do not know if there would be a way to prove a hypothesis about it... And the reasons why there seem to be more obese people in the BDSM scene as opposed to other types of adult play will remain a mystery..

I have heard MANY say this about obesity in the scene since my former dom first said this to me....so it seems it may be true after all

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 6:59:08 PM   
allyC


Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

Master and I have worked out a routine for this girl to lose this weight because of my self esteem and health issues. Well and because Master hates fat ppl.
 I am having a hard time trying to figure out why your Master would choose someone who fits into a category of people that he hates and needs to change? 

quote:

Can I ask how any sub / slave can look in the mirror and be pleased with themselves being that way?
 For many people, it isn't how they look naked in the mirror that drives their self-value and self-love but rather something more meaningful.  (i.e. their accomplishments, their achievements, their level of personal integrity, how much they love and are loved by others, etc.) 
quote:

How do the Dom's/Domme's feel about there overweight sub/slaves?
 I asked my owner how he feels about his overweight slave (me) and he replied, "I love her."   :)   
quote:

Or how do You feel seeing other ones like that?
   Other overweight subs and/or slaves?  I guess I don't really feel any differently then when I see thin subs or slaves. 
quote:

Isn't health issues a major concern?
   Health issues are only a concern when someone is unhealthy.  Fat does not equal unhealthy.  Unhealthy equals unhealthy.  I know lots of thin unhealthy people but they're not trying to lose weight.  :) 
quote:

I don't want to be insecure about myself and ppl not see the sexy side of me because I am fat.
 I am significantly overweight and I don't think that fat negates my sexy side.  Sure -  for people who only find thin, athletic builds attractive I might not have a "sexy" side, however, there are plenty of other people who like different sized women.  :) 
quote:

So I don't understand how anyone can be proud of being fat. And want to stay that way. Or want There subs or slaves that way.
 I haven't yet met anyone who is "proud" of being fat.  I am not proud of being fat.  I am, however, proud of who I am and what I have accomplished in life.  I would love to lose weight and I will continue to work toward losing weight but not because I don't think I'm sexy or because society (or anyone else) tells me I'm repulsive.  I will do it because I don't like the physical restrictions that my weight places on me.   
quote:

I see so many overweight subs and slaves in the lifestyle and I would like to understand why there are so many.
Is it because of the weight?
 I would imagine they are in it for the same reasons that thin people are - because it is something they want to do. 
quote:

Is it because of insecurities?
   I would guess that for some people it might be.  But I have yet to meet someone who isn't insecure about something or another so I don't think that reasoning really fits.  I am sure some thin people join the lifestyle because of insecurities too!  :) 
quote:

I guess my real reason for this post is to find out what brings people or draws people to this lifestyle that are overweight.
 Again, probably the same things that draw people who are not overweight.  
quote:

Do the subs and slaves that are overweight feel they can please there Dom in ALL ways being overweight.
 I don't think anyone can please another person in ALL ways.  But in the end, it depends on what pleases each individual owner the most.  Some are more pleased by women who work out every day and others might be pleased by more curves and yet others might be pleased by someone who sings beautifully or who cooks well or who gives superb head - but for every person, preferences will be different, pleasures will be different, abilities will be different. I could ask you, rose, do you paint, play piano, play guitar, sing, shoot photography, run a business, write poetry, write fiction, cook gourmet meals and give excellent massage (and head)?  Would you help your owner search for and welcome another slave into the home because your owner wished it and serve beside her to the best of your ability?   These are some of the things that my owner finds pleasing.  These are some of the things that he chose to cultivate and/or which drew him to wish to own me in the first place.  He also thinks I am beautiful, regardless of my size.  (He wouldn't own me if he didn't find me attractive.) There are some things that I can't do because of my weight.  I can't run marathons.  I can't mountain climb or skateboard a half-pipe.  But he doesn't really care about those things so its okay.  :) 
quote:

And with 4 kids and active with them, how I am overweight, I may never know.
 It may just be because your body's shape is different and because your body naturally wants to fall into that range.  Not everyone is meant to be a hard body and not everyone is meant to be thin.  Only time will tell :) I think, rose, that you (like many others) equate fat with poor self esteem, laziness, poor health, unhappiness, etc.  It isn't that way for everyone.  There are lots of emotionally, physically healthy fat folks out there!  :) Well wishes, Cav's ally
  

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 7:20:30 PM   
MoonGoddessIsis


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tade

Personally I like it when someone "hates fat people". More for me..


AMEN to that!

Lady Moon


_____________________________

"Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before"

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 7:45:18 PM   
littlemissub


Posts: 118
Joined: 5/4/2006
Status: offline 		suggababy,

I think that is a fabulously written post as well as being one of the best suggestions I have ever heard.  I believe that she needs to get to know someone for who they are rather than their weight.  It could totally change her thinking.

_____________________________

~littlemissy~

(in reply to suggababy23)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 7:50:59 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pissdoll
I think this site and in bdsm in general mirrors the weights of people in our society.  meaning, if 60% of the women on this site are a size 16, then 60% of women in the United States are a size 16.
 

You are correct except the number is more like 75% in the USA and a good pecent of that (for women) are way over size 16.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to pissdoll)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 7:57:29 PM   
LostSkittles


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/6/2004
Status: offline 		My response to this isn't going to be liked but i really don't care.

This issue comes up constantly. An ex i was with, wanted me to lose weight last year. I wanted to model and go back to professional dancing, he wanted a skinnier submissive.

so i lost 50 pounds doing a daily no carb/low carb diet..moderate exercise and just cut a ton of the sugar.

Him and i are no longer together.. But im still benefiting from the weight loss..so im all for owners helping their submissives lose weight and i think submissives should put an effort for it...for their health.

And to bring up the answer to the last questions..this lifestyle attracts what society didnt want sadly..alot of people are in it for the wrong reasons. and some of it does have to do alot with looks whether or not its conscious or not..however, you being an individual have a right to ignore anyone..and choose what you want.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:02:20 PM   
MasterStoney442


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Fro all you people out there . Don't beat up my slave due to something I said . Yes I have told her that I do not like fat people . But its due to The vast magority of them are to Damn lazy to do any thing about it . I am not talking of the ones that may have a medecal contition that prevents them from doing any thing about it .But again it is not my slave rose that said the fat part . She is just telling what is on her mind .
 
We have talked about her wieght for a long time . She sined the contract knowing all that was and is involved it . And yes she is lazy in that part . But it is me that takes care of that . I am her Master .
 
She my slave is trying ti understand things that I like or do not like . Yes she does have a heard time with a lot of things I do and say , but I am her Master .
 
She my slave rose has 4 kids . How did she get these kids ? Well the answer is simple . She laid down and did what most people do . Does this mean she has to be over wieght ? Does this mean she has to be leazy in that department? I think not . I have taken control of the kids . The men that are there fathers are worthless and do not care for them or about them . Wait I will say one of the men do not . But through all of this ,does this give her the right to be lazy in this department ? NO. As she told me her Master , she never had a problem getting what she wanted . Well I will say this , She is right as are most women , If they are willing to lay down they get what they want . I know this sounds harsh but it is true .
As her Master I* want things my way and will get them . as My slave Tis her job to do the things that make me happy . I also make things easy on her . She does not have to deal with her unruly kids . I do that for her . She does not have to do house work , her kids do that , she does not have to do dishes ,her kids do that . She does not have to worry about paying the bills on time ,I do that . But enuf of that .
 
My slave is 5'7" tall and wieghs 175 or so . I want her down to 143.  All she has to do is diet and exsize. Sorry about the spelling .  And I do some of that with her . I want my slave to look and feel the best that she can . Whats wrong with that ?

_____________________________

when you look at life it looks back at you

(in reply to MoonGoddessIsis)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:09:23 PM   
texasbutterfly


Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		MasterStoney, i understand you wanting your slave to be healthy, happy, even thin and beautiful.  my question to you is this:

you say she is lazy, well if you take care of the kids and the bills, the kids take care of the house...what is left for her to do.. stop enabling her to be lazy and she won't be.  that is just my humble opinion.

(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:14:04 PM   
MasterStoney442


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		To answer your question . She does work 40 hours a week on third shit .  I do love my slave more then she will ever know . I do not want her hurt in any way .

_____________________________

when you look at life it looks back at you

(in reply to texasbutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:15:39 PM   
Nyxalinth2


Posts: 35
Status: offline 		I walk an hour EVERY DAY. I have a job that requires me to stand 4-10 hours a day. I watch what I eat.  I am not going to stay big forever.  I just do not believe in putting my fucking life on hold until someone like you (not you, but someone like you) decided I am good enough to have fun and enjoy my life.

Guess what, bucko.  I am not lazy.  Nor are a lot of other overweight people.

And it's VERY interesting, MasterStoney442, that nowhere do you address what I asked her:  If he hates fat, then why is he with you instead of being out there finding what he truly wants?

Nevermind, don't answer.  It will be bullshit.

(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:25:11 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I know i need to skrink my butt, but I like me and whether or not I lose the last bit of weight I'm working on really doesn't matter much. I'll still go to the gym because i love the endorphin rush, and I'll still eat icecream cause well dang i just like it *grins*

Other peoples opinions never really meant much to me. How you feel about yourself is most important. What the doctor says is healthy is important too but I've been lucky and never had one of those radical "omg you need to be a stick person" type doctors. Even 9 mos pregnant my BP was 119 / 78

I think you should strive to be happy and accept yourself. There is nothing wrong with trying to be the best you can be. but don't hate yourself because you don't see yourself as perfect. Who is?

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:25:35 PM   
suggababy23


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you littlemissub :) 
I am a big advocate for declassifying people.  I think when you break away from stereotypes and generalizations, understanding comes alot easier.






(in reply to Nyxalinth2)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:27:49 PM   
texasbutterfly


Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		i'm sorry, i just had to respond one more time... i am a single mom, work an avg. 45 hours a week, keep a clean house, cook dinner, pay my own bills, and spend quality time with my child.  i don't have time to be lazy.  

fighting laziness is alot of needing to feel usefull and have a purpose in life.  i know that if i had someone doing all of that stuff for me it would be real easy for me to sit on the couch with my feet up, eating chocolate chip cookies and watching reruns of friends when i got home everyday.  

all i'm saying, and not very well at that, is that maybe she needs to feel needed around the house too. 

<all that and i still can't spell>

< Message edited by texasbutterfly -- 5/22/2006 8:29:14 PM >

(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:28:37 PM   
MasterStoney442


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		First off Nyxalinth2, The use of bucko, you can take that and put it where eat . And you did not ask that question to me . You asked that of my slave . Read your own words . 
 
In this life style we all find what we want ,and we all mold that person into what we want . But hey you would not know any thing of that as I can see by your BS mouth .  It is always the truth that one says that gets others all up tight , Ever notice that ? lol.

_____________________________

when you look at life it looks back at you

(in reply to Nyxalinth2)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:36:39 PM   
Reflectivesoul


Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		ok lets see, she's fat, lazy, has 4 kids that she doesnt take care of cause you do that for her, she doesnt clean your house or anything else..... her kids fathers are assholes....
 
Just what other demeaning shit are you going to say about this woman? Oh but wait you're her "Master" that gives you the right to put her down and make her feel bad....
 
mmhmmm I want to sign up for a carbon copy of you the second tuesday of next week....

(in reply to MasterStoney442)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:39:06 PM   
SubmissiveOphelia


Posts: 80
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Rose- your Master "hates" fat people?

Jesus freaking H. Christ!

We are not living  in Nazi Germany! How can somebody hate an entire group of people? That's like saying I hate short men!


_____________________________

http://www.submissiveophelia.com/


(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: subs and slaves weight? - 5/22/2006 8:45:33 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Whew! I thought I smelled smoke. For a minute there I thought France was burning again.

It's prolly been done but I will toss out the thyroid and other health complications that cause obesity.  

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to SubmissiveOphelia)
Profile   Post #: 60
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