quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

And me having an opinion as well makes me "narrow minded", if it isn't the same as yours? Uh, grow up and stop being so insecure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I was viewing (not perving) the profile of 21 year old male Dom, and it said something about women over 50 not bothering to contact him.  This suggested to me that at some point,a woman over 50 had contacted him, which I found astonishing.
I have talked to my friends my age about this, (40-62 year old women) and we all agree that men that young never even show up on our radar.  I can't even imagine being attracted to someone that young.  I even consider it kind of disgusting, possibly because I have kids that age.  
So you under 30 year old Doms, do 50 year old women really contact you? Am I just being naive here?  And over 50 female subs, do you ever find yourself attracted to men that young?  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I was viewing (not perving) the profile of 21 year old male Dom, and it said something about women over 50 not bothering to contact him.  This suggested to me that at some point,a woman over 50 had contacted him, which I found astonishing.
I have talked to my friends my age about this, (40-62 year old women) and we all agree that men that young never even show up on our radar.  I can't even imagine being attracted to someone that young.  I even consider it kind of disgusting, possibly because I have kids that age.  
So you under 30 year old Doms, do 50 year old women really contact you? Am I just being naive here?  And over 50 female subs, do you ever find yourself attracted to men that young?  

I don't know about this site in particular, because it's not popular where I live, so I've only got a sample of like two local women from here, and I can't comment on the age thing.

I'm nearly 24. In real life, I tend to attract somewhat older women frequently. Which is fine by me considering I tend to like authority figures, powerful women, women who know what they are doing with their lives, etc. One of the most compatible types for me is someone who can lead socially, but who I can lead in a close relationship, and take control of sexually.

(I have a somewhat feminine approach to relationships and dating. I mean, I'm mostly attracted to personality, so it's not that suprising that I'd find myself attracted to older women, as they have had more time to develop their personalities. If you think about it, if most women tend to be attracted to those sorts of things, and why wouldn't a few men be as well? I actually used to think I'd NEVER be with an older woman, but now I'm more comfortable with the idea. There are women within my age group who don't act girly or immature, and can actually have powerful personalities, which I find really appealing as well.)

As for women in their forties... that's quite far for me, but yeah, sometimes. They have to be really attractive, though. Most of the time I just consider it flattering, plus there is no bad time to flirt a little bit and make someone feel desirable. (Unless you have a super-jealous girlfriend.) Typically there'll be some meaningful eye contact, I'll try to be charming. Even if I'm not wanting the person, I'll be gracious about it, because I think women should be allowed/encouraged to seek out younger men. (Typically, it's not Doms who seek that sort of thing, but I know quite a few guys who are more comfortable with someone more experienced in life. Typically, these men will have somewhat feminine personalities, meaning they prefer to be receptive, supportive, focus on their relationships, appreciate wisdom, not get intimidated/competitive, etc. I'm really generalizing here, but that should give you an idea.)

It's both a good and a bad thing that women won't approach as often as men, otherwise the attention would probably be a lot more annoying, but maybe also more refreshing.

A lot of the time, the woman in question will toss out a comment about some aribitrary people (like my professors or well-known public figures) being "young", so as to gauge my reaction to the age disparity, and just make sure that I'm not seriously misguided about how old she is. (It's like: "You are able to tell how old women are, right? Like, you're not fucking clueless, right.") I'll just describe how wonderful the people she's mentionned are, without commenting on the age thing. The compliments can easily be something that applies to her, as well.

The most amusing though, is when a woman that old does finds herself surprised/uncomfortable with her own attraction to me. Let's say someone has been blatantly staring at me, or has taken more than her fair share of little glances. Typically, I'll respond by giving her a knowing look. But, sometimes, the woman in question will look back at me with a seriously haughty glare -- like I'm too young, and I don't know what I'm doing and I've gotten lost on my way to the candy store. So, I'll just keep looking into her eyes calmly, not being fazed at all. (This is really not new to me -- I stopped being shy about it years ago.) And then after a few moments, I'll just sort of shift my body language to subtly communicate an invitation. Then, I'll sort of dare her with my eye contact, like: "If you're so sure of yourself, why don't you please walk over here, and hit on me, and then we'll see if you can turn me into an inept, clueless boy". Also, that sort of situation tends to trigger my instincts to want to dominate someone, and "put them in their place", you could say, so I've probably communicated that vibe quiet often, sort of like: "I know exactly what to do with you, sweetheart.". (I can do the "talk with your eyes" thing pretty well.)

What's thoroughly amusing is the reactions I get after that. Like I've had someone think for a little bit, huff, put their nose in the air, and then turn around ceremoniously. Or, just straight up walk off a short distance away, then check to see if I've payed attention to their gesture. And I'll just let it be, at that point. (This typically happens to me a lot in public places, where you can communicate non-verbally from far away.)

I'm still kind of hoping I'll run into someone who will confidently walk up and try to intimidate me with either sexual or social power, so I can have my fun, but so far it hasn't happened... *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh*

(*Sigh*)

So, the answer the your question is YES, but due to social norms and with prefering a relationship with someone in similar circumstances (i.e. university), it typically does not go anywhere. It would result in something more tangible if the women in question were more comfortable and direct with me.

That said, if someone is ten years than me, and I'm hopelessly attracted to them, I will pursue them (and have done so in the past). I don't mind women in their fourties and fifties, but honestly, I prefer being in a relationship as opposed to wasting my time with stuff that isn't going anywhere, and so, unless we're talking about someone like Demi Moore who is confident, spectacularly appealing, and has achieved quite a lot in her life, I'm not going to bother to do anything about it.

I think the most obvious difference was a 26 year old woman who asked me out for coffee when I was 18 and I saw her for a few months. I think that entire relationship, was me putting on a calm face, and her being vulnerable and seeking affirmation/validation from me. (That was before I knew about my sexuality.) I'm glad we didn't have sex (she didn't ask, and I wasn't sure), because I wasn't ready at that point.

I don't know why older women approach me, but I think the best explanation is just me having feminine personality traits. I think I come off as shy, quiet and brooding most of the time, but I can be soft too, which helps. I'm also pretty sure many women don't find my personality attractive at all, so it evens out in the end, really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I was viewing (not perving) the profile of 21 year old male Dom, and it said something about women over 50 not bothering to contact him.  This suggested to me that at some point,a woman over 50 had contacted him, which I found astonishing.
I have talked to my friends my age about this, (40-62 year old women) and we all agree that men that young never even show up on our radar.  I can't even imagine being attracted to someone that young.  I even consider it kind of disgusting, possibly because I have kids that age.  
So you under 30 year old Doms, do 50 year old women really contact you? Am I just being naive here?  And over 50 female subs, do you ever find yourself attracted to men that young?  

I don't know about this site in particular, because it's not popular where I live, so I've only got a sample of like two local women from here, and I can't comment on the age thing.

I'm nearly 24. In real life, I tend to attract somewhat older women frequently. Which is fine by me considering I tend to like authority figures, powerful women, women who know what they are doing with their lives, etc. One of the most compatible types for me is someone who can lead socially, but who I can lead in a close relationship, and take control of sexually.

(I have a somewhat feminine approach to relationships and dating. I mean, I'm mostly attracted to personality, so it's not that suprising that I'd find myself attracted to older women, as they have had more time to develop their personalities. If you think about it, if most women tend to be attracted to those sorts of things, and why wouldn't a few men be as well? I actually used to think I'd NEVER be with an older woman, but now I'm more comfortable with the idea. There are women within my age group who don't act girly or immature, and can actually have powerful personalities, which I find really appealing as well.)

As for women in their forties... that's quite far for me, but yeah, sometimes. They have to be really attractive, though. Most of the time I just consider it flattering, plus there is no bad time to flirt a little bit and make someone feel desirable. (Unless you have a super-jealous girlfriend.) Typically there'll be some meaningful eye contact, I'll try to be charming. Even if I'm not wanting the person, I'll be gracious about it, because I think women should be allowed/encouraged to seek out younger men. (Typically, it's not Doms who seek that sort of thing, but I know quite a few guys who are more comfortable with someone more experienced in life. Typically, these men will have somewhat feminine personalities, meaning they prefer to be receptive, supportive, focus on their relationships, appreciate wisdom, not get intimidated/competitive, etc. I'm really generalizing here, but that should give you an idea.)

It's both a good and a bad thing that women won't approach as often as men, otherwise the attention would probably be a lot more annoying, but maybe also more refreshing.

A lot of the time, the woman in question will toss out a comment about some aribitrary people (like my professors or well-known public figures) being "young", so as to gauge my reaction to the age disparity, and just make sure that I'm not seriously misguided about how old she is. (It's like: "You are able to tell how old women are, right? Like, you're not fucking clueless, right.") I'll just describe how wonderful the people she's mentionned are, without commenting on the age thing. The compliments can easily be something that applies to her, as well.

The most amusing though, is when a woman that old does finds herself surprised/uncomfortable with her own attraction to me. Let's say someone has been blatantly staring at me, or has taken more than her fair share of little glances. Typically, I'll respond by giving her a knowing look. But, sometimes, the woman in question will look back at me with a seriously haughty glare -- like I'm too young, and I don't know what I'm doing and I've gotten lost on my way to the candy store. So, I'll just keep looking into her eyes calmly, not being fazed at all. (This is really not new to me -- I stopped being shy about it years ago.) And then after a few moments, I'll just sort of shift my body language to subtly communicate an invitation. Then, I'll sort of dare her with my eye contact, like: "If you're so sure of yourself, why don't you please walk over here, and hit on me, and then we'll see if you can turn me into an inept, clueless boy". Also, that sort of situation tends to trigger my instincts to want to dominate someone, and "put them in their place", you could say, so I've probably communicated that vibe quiet often, sort of like: "I know exactly what to do with you, sweetheart.". (I can do the "talk with your eyes" thing pretty well.)

What's thoroughly amusing is the reactions I get after that. Like I've had someone think for a little bit, huff, put their nose in the air, and then turn around ceremoniously. Or, just straight up walk off a short distance away, then check to see if I've payed attention to their gesture. And I'll just let it be, at that point. (This typically happens to me a lot in public places, where you can communicate non-verbally from far away.)

I'm still kind of hoping I'll run into someone who will confidently walk up and try to intimidate me with either sexual or social power, so I can have my fun, but so far it hasn't happened... *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh*

(*Sigh*)

So, the answer the your question is YES, but due to social norms and with prefering a relationship with someone in similar circumstances (i.e. university), it typically does not go anywhere. It would result in something more tangible if the women in question were more comfortable and direct with me.

That said, if someone is ten years than me, and I'm hopelessly attracted to them, I will pursue them (and have done so in the past). I don't mind women in their fourties and fifties, but honestly, I prefer being in a relationship as opposed to wasting my time with stuff that isn't going anywhere, and so, unless we're talking about someone like Demi Moore who is confident, spectacularly appealing, and has achieved quite a lot in her life, I'm not going to bother to do anything about it.

I think the most obvious difference was a 26 year old woman who asked me out for coffee when I was 18 and I saw her for a few months. I think that entire relationship, was me putting on a calm face, and her being vulnerable and seeking affirmation/validation from me. (That was before I knew about my sexuality.) I'm glad we didn't have sex (she didn't ask, and I wasn't sure), because I wasn't ready at that point.

I don't know why older women approach me, but I think the best explanation is just me having feminine personality traits. I think I come off as shy, quiet and brooding most of the time, but I can be soft too, which helps. I'm also pretty sure many women don't find my personality attractive at all, so it evens out in the end, really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarthVaderOfLove

I think it's more common for casual vanilla type stuff. When I was in my twenties, there were a handful of older women (10+ years) that I'd hang out with, go to bars and stuff, screw around with just for fun. Their friends had their younger-guy-casual-stuff too. This was in a small college town, kind of known for partying. I think a lot of it, in my case, was women who'd married assholes at a young age, then divorced and just wanted to have a good time.

It seems weird to me, though, for an older submissive woman to approach a younger dom. it seems to me that the emotional/spiritual/mental aspects of a BDSM relationship would steer a woman (or anyone for that matter) to a more established or experienced person. Of course there are exceptions.

One thing I've noticed, and I am aware this will probably be an unpopular opinion, it is something I have noticed in my life, and that's all I am saying is that it is something I have observed, NOT saying it is the norm...it has been my experience that women that were significantly older than me, (20 years ago), that pursued me for a serious relationship have been pretty unstable/immature across the board. I mean 30-40 year old women that wanted a 22 year old boyfriend, NOT a 22 year old sex buddy.

quote:

Yet another person to ignore.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
So you under 30 year old Doms, do 50 year old women really contact you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I have had a few older women contact me, one was over 50 and commented on my looks (as most messages seem to do, zzzz) but other than that it is usually 30 or a little higher that I see a lot of.  On occasion those in my age range message me as well.  

Of course I'm not counting anybody from these forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Thank you, this was interesting. The truth is, if a man a lot younger than me flirted with me, I would probably interpret it is something other than sexual interest. I would probably just assume that I reminded him of his mother.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Ive gone out with lot's of younger girls. Some close to my kids age. As long as they have the same core values as I do, not a problem. A buddy of mine has a 30 and out rule, Once his girl hits 30 she is history. He has gone thru 4 wives already.

So obviously there are ppl out that not as narrow minded as you. Cuz ya know it would be horrific to have some hot young firm body pounding away.

BadOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I have had a few older women contact me, one was over 50 and commented on my looks (as most messages seem to do, zzzz) but other than that it is usually 30 or a little higher that I see a lot of.  On occasion those in my age range message me as well.  

Of course I'm not counting anybody from these forums.

The only thing about your look.. is that you so remind me of my very first boyfriend. He had long dark hair down to his butt, it was a bit curly tho so had an even thicker look to it. And yes,.. (sigh).. his hair was nicer than my fine blonde hair.. but then i had other.. attributes to compensate.. (giggle)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CeriseNin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Thank you, this was interesting. The truth is, if a man a lot younger than me flirted with me, I would probably interpret it is something other than sexual interest. I would probably just assume that I reminded him of his mother.

WTF?

Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I was viewing (not perving) the profile of 21 year old male Dom, and it said something about women over 50 not bothering to contact him.  This suggested to me that at some point,a woman over 50 had contacted him, which I found astonishing.
I have talked to my friends my age about this, (40-62 year old women) and we all agree that men that young never even show up on our radar.  I can't even imagine being attracted to someone that young.  I even consider it kind of disgusting, possibly because I have kids that age.  
So you under 30 year old Doms, do 50 year old women really contact you? Am I just being naive here?  And over 50 female subs, do you ever find yourself attracted to men that young?  

I don't know about this site in particular, because it's not popular where I live, so I've only got a sample of like two local women from here, and I can't comment on the age thing.

I'm nearly 24. In real life, I tend to attract somewhat older women frequently. Which is fine by me considering I tend to like authority figures, powerful women, women who know what they are doing with their lives, etc. One of the most compatible types for me is someone who can lead socially, but who I can lead in a close relationship, and take control of sexually.

(I have a somewhat feminine approach to relationships and dating. I mean, I'm mostly attracted to personality, so it's not that suprising that I'd find myself attracted to older women, as they have had more time to develop their personalities. If you think about it, if most women tend to be attracted to those sorts of things, and why wouldn't a few men be as well? I actually used to think I'd NEVER be with an older woman, but now I'm more comfortable with the idea. There are women within my age group who don't act girly or immature, and can actually have powerful personalities, which I find really appealing as well.)

As for women in their forties... that's quite far for me, but yeah, sometimes. They have to be really attractive, though. Most of the time I just consider it flattering, plus there is no bad time to flirt a little bit and make someone feel desirable. (Unless you have a super-jealous girlfriend.) Typically there'll be some meaningful eye contact, I'll try to be charming. Even if I'm not wanting the person, I'll be gracious about it, because I think women should be allowed/encouraged to seek out younger men. (Typically, it's not Doms who seek that sort of thing, but I know quite a few guys who are more comfortable with someone more experienced in life. Typically, these men will have somewhat feminine personalities, meaning they prefer to be receptive, supportive, focus on their relationships, appreciate wisdom, not get intimidated/competitive, etc. I'm really generalizing here, but that should give you an idea.)

It's both a good and a bad thing that women won't approach as often as men, otherwise the attention would probably be a lot more annoying, but maybe also more refreshing.

A lot of the time, the woman in question will toss out a comment about some aribitrary people (like my professors or well-known public figures) being "young", so as to gauge my reaction to the age disparity, and just make sure that I'm not seriously misguided about how old she is. (It's like: "You are able to tell how old women are, right? Like, you're not fucking clueless, right.") I'll just describe how wonderful the people she's mentionned are, without commenting on the age thing. The compliments can easily be something that applies to her, as well.

The most amusing though, is when a woman that old does finds herself surprised/uncomfortable with her own attraction to me. Let's say someone has been blatantly staring at me, or has taken more than her fair share of little glances. Typically, I'll respond by giving her a knowing look. But, sometimes, the woman in question will look back at me with a seriously haughty glare -- like I'm too young, and I don't know what I'm doing and I've gotten lost on my way to the candy store. So, I'll just keep looking into her eyes calmly, not being fazed at all. (This is really not new to me -- I stopped being shy about it years ago.) And then after a few moments, I'll just sort of shift my body language to subtly communicate an invitation. Then, I'll sort of dare her with my eye contact, like: "If you're so sure of yourself, why don't you please walk over here, and hit on me, and then we'll see if you can turn me into an inept, clueless boy". Also, that sort of situation tends to trigger my instincts to want to dominate someone, and "put them in their place", you could say, so I've probably communicated that vibe quiet often, sort of like: "I know exactly what to do with you, sweetheart.". (I can do the "talk with your eyes" thing pretty well.)

What's thoroughly amusing is the reactions I get after that. Like I've had someone think for a little bit, huff, put their nose in the air, and then turn around ceremoniously. Or, just straight up walk off a short distance away, then check to see if I've payed attention to their gesture. And I'll just let it be, at that point. (This typically happens to me a lot in public places, where you can communicate non-verbally from far away.)

I'm still kind of hoping I'll run into someone who will confidently walk up and try to intimidate me with either sexual or social power, so I can have my fun, but so far it hasn't happened... *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh*

(*Sigh*)

So, the answer the your question is YES, but due to social norms and with prefering a relationship with someone in similar circumstances (i.e. university), it typically does not go anywhere. It would result in something more tangible if the women in question were more comfortable and direct with me.

That said, if someone is ten years than me, and I'm hopelessly attracted to them, I will pursue them (and have done so in the past). I don't mind women in their fourties and fifties, but honestly, I prefer being in a relationship as opposed to wasting my time with stuff that isn't going anywhere, and so, unless we're talking about someone like Demi Moore who is confident, spectacularly appealing, and has achieved quite a lot in her life, I'm not going to bother to do anything about it.

I think the most obvious difference was a 26 year old woman who asked me out for coffee when I was 18 and I saw her for a few months. I think that entire relationship, was me putting on a calm face, and her being vulnerable and seeking affirmation/validation from me. (That was before I knew about my sexuality.) I'm glad we didn't have sex (she didn't ask, and I wasn't sure), because I wasn't ready at that point.

I don't know why older women approach me, but I think the best explanation is just me having feminine personality traits. I think I come off as shy, quiet and brooding most of the time, but I can be soft too, which helps. I'm also pretty sure many women don't find my personality attractive at all, so it evens out in the end, really.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

To flip it: I had a 22 year old woman contact me.  She had been attracted to my posts.