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RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/11/2011 9:39:06 PM

insertclevername

Posts: 21
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

I used to pro domme on a pretty regular basis before my health went bad. Every so often I get an email from a former client asking if I'm going to take it up again. One in particular was always a pain in the ass to me. He continually topped from the bottom and he may as well have handed me a script when he walked through the door. Now, I always took into account what my clients liked and tried my best to work those kinks into the session. HOWEVER, I always tried to maintain at least the illusion that I was the one in control. That's the trick to being a good pro domme after all, right? When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?
Mistress Scarlet

If someone is paying, he has a right to ask for whatever he wants. And perhaps the sessions were "ruined" from your point of view, but they were what he wanted. But, hey, there is no law saying you have to take a client. So it's OK for you to turn him down too.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/11/2011 10:19:20 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

As others have said, as a pro, your job is essentially to do what they want. It isn't about YOUR good time for their money.

Can you turn them down? Sure. And of course, you will have clients that want you back in business, but that isn't the point. The point is you are being paid to fufill your CLIENT's fantasy. They aren't paying you for you to have a good time. Doesn't matter that you call it a "tribute."

Did it ever occur to you it was the ILLUSION of giving up control that he wanted?

In any case, you decided not to see him. I'm sure he didn't come back to you because no other pro would take him on. Pro dommes are all over the place. Perhaps your "tribute" price was in his budget, your location fit his needs, he liked the way you looked.

The illusion here seems to be you confusing clients with being your actual subs. Sure, some will few you as their mistress, but just as many are simply "playing the game" when they are in contact with you, and don't give you much thought when the session is over.

Sorry, but being a pro domme just ain't all that special. You are a sex worker who specializes in certain activities, but still a sex worker. Your wants/needs/desires and fun mean absolutely nothing here.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/11/2011 11:57:34 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I come down exactly in the middle. But I have to ask, if you didn't follow his script the first time around, why did he show up again? There's plenty of burger places, aren't there?

You say Hannah wouldn't have had a first session. I'm wondering why you let him have even a 2nd?

P.S. Benjamins? Really? How does this old Leatherman find some clients? Seriously..... would some of you experienced Pros give me a pointer or two on the other side? I have access to a GREAT space..... so I guess it's advertisements. Where and what to say.... I'm thinking maybe those "Bi-curious" men could be refered?

What I would do if I were you is work with a Domme. Guys don't want to *be* gay...they want to be *forced* to be gay. (the subs I'm referring to)
pus** will bring them faster than di** every time.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LanceHughes)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 12:01:57 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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quote:

Sorry, but being a pro domme just ain't all that special. You are a sex worker who specializes in certain activities, but still a sex worker. Your wants/needs/desires and fun mean absolutely nothing here.

bada-fucking-DING!!! we have a winner folks!!

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 12:03:55 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

pus** will bring them faster than di** every time.

ok, i'm sorry, but a pus fetish is just fucking squicky in the extreme! hard fucking limit.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 12:07:14 AM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Anyone with any business can make their own rules. Even sex workers. If I were to do something like that, the scene would be negotiated up front as well as pay. If I didn't want to do it, there would be no scene and no pay.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 12:20:46 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

no shit. you're not required to take on any given john, nobody is saying that, but that's got fuck all to do with the op's question, which was

quote:

When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think?

in fact the op answered her own fucking question right before she asked it.

quote:

HOWEVER, I always tried to maintain at least the illusion that I was the one in control.

pro-domming, or really pro-topping is more accurate, is all just fucking smoke and mirrors. its no different than a lawyer pretending he thinks you're innocent or a hooker telling her john he's really fucking big and faking an awesome orgasm. he's paying, he's the boss.

e2a forgot an "and"

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 10/12/2011 12:22:05 AM >

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 12:27:55 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Sorry, but I'm on the side of your ex client. As long as the acts that he wanted were on your menu, he's paying you for the service. He expected you to be a pro service top, which in being honest, is what he was paying you for.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 2:56:17 AM

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline

I have to side with your client here. Can you name any other business model that would work the way you suggest? I cannot. Once money changes hands you become a service top and it's a job. Your job is then to provide the service that the client is paying for. If you are paying the submissive then that is a different story and you get to call the shots. The illusion of control is for your benefit, not your client's.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 3:28:23 AM

TheFireWithinMe

Posts: 1672
Joined: 10/3/2011
From: The Depths of Hell
Status: offline

FR

Add me to the list of those who agree with your client. It really isn't all about YOU it's about the CLIENT. You are of course free to turn him down but as long as the scene is within the boundaries of what you are willing to do, you are being paid to do what the client wants. You may feel the scene didn't work but clearly from the PAYING CLIENT'S point of view it did.

I think you are confusing client and relationship. If a sub you own tries that kind of topping from the bottom, sure show him the door. But as long as it's a client who is after all PAYING, it's his call on how the scene plays out.

Fire

_____________________________

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. ~Author Unknown

(in reply to LizDeluxe)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 6:12:18 AM

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
pro-domming, or really pro-topping is more accurate, is all just fucking smoke and mirrors.

This

I've been slated in the past for my honest view about pro domming. You don't adore every client, you don't feel dominant towards every client, you do occasionally feel awkward or that you didn't do a particularly good scene. Some clients are hard work, some leave you feeling mentally challenged but if you consider them safe, within your boundaries and reliable, you don't turn them away.
When your encouraging John out of the door because school boy william is turning up in 20 minutes, you may have to pull your head out of one role into another in pretty quick time. You may think 'oh fuck, school boy williams is a heap of hard work' but then you remind yourself that school boy William is a reliably good client and its reliably good clients that pay the rent.
If something isn't working with a regular, you access things, change things and communicate with the client but what you don't do is toss away perfectly good money from a perfectly good man.

Your dislike for this man was that he tried to top you from the bottom. Instead of that being an irritation and making you feel like you can't do your job properly, why not just have some fun with it. The most recent picture I put up on here was of me dominating a guy who was doing just that. The more he pushed me the more I laughed, the more I laughed the tougher I got. It was fun and made a change and that shows in the picture where we both look like we are enjoying something without taking it too seriously.
If every man and woman I dominated acted the same way, I would of given this up long ago. Variety is a challenge and there to be experimented with.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 7:48:12 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He has every right to get what he wants out of a session. You have every right to decline to serve him.
It's like him wanting fish and you running a burger joint. There's no right or wrong, simply a bad match.

Why didn't you just refer him to someone who enjoyed doing what he liked, where there wouldn't have been such a conflict? That would have been a better solution. It would have established you a reputation of putting ethics before profit, and of trying to insure that your clients got their money worth even at the cost of sending them to someone who fit them better. Of caring more for them than for getting every possible dime.

The Man's a contractor. He's done this in the past, tell someone they needed a masonry contractor and recommended one. Or a plumber and given them the name of the one he likes to work with. It always rebounds to his credit. People remember him doing the right thing and pass his name on.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:05:42 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

Looks like this thread took a totally different turn after I left. Here are some points that you need to understand:

I said right up front that I got to know what my clients liked and always worked hard to incorporate that into the session. I felt they had a better time if they gave into the ILLUSION that I was in charge, and they did.

This was not rent money. This was a sideline that I did for fun. I enjoyed the variety, not to mention getting paid to do what I enjoyed. It was work, but work I loved.

I have already stated that I always gave my clients a second chance (and sometimes more) if they had a bad habit of topping from the bottom. I knew they would enjoy it more if they would just go with the flow, but sometimes it took some convincing.

Lastly, I did not mention one important thing. He was always pushing for things that were sexual in nature. That was a hard limit for me and I told him so many times. He would always deny it of course, but if I followed his "script", that's where it always lead.

If I knew another pro domme that I trusted, I would gladly have referred him to her. I don't happen to know of any who don't "milk" their clients, asking for money even when they're not in a session. Sending people to a bad pro domme would only have made my reputation worse, not better.

And lastly, there are different categories of pro dommes. Some are in it for the money and that's it. They will take on any client no matter what. Some of us are not in it JUST for the money. We enjoy what we do and when we come across one client in 50 that just pulls us down every time we see them, it's time to let them go. The clients that I did let go invariably called me back later complaining about their experiences with another pro domme (or two) and asking to come back.

I am VERY aware that as a pro domme you take the sub role, but if you act like it they may as well go to one of their sub friends and hand them a script. Very unfulfilling.

Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:16:12 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

Forgot one last thing. My clients never left their tribute until AFTER the session was over. If they weren't happy with how things went, I was known to give a discount or even a freebie. It didn't happen very often, but it did. My client's satisfaction was always a priority.

Like any other sex workers, there are different classes. There are some who stand on the corner and take any john who comes along. There are also some who only take on clients that have been referred to them - high end if you will. They can demand more and afford to turn down the johns they feel just aren't going to work out. If you don't let greed get a hold of you, you can be the second kind.

Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:21:51 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

quote:

My clients never left their tribute

you mean paid your fee, come on now, lets call the bear shit, bear shit shall we?

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:25:09 AM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

sorry still sticking with my original premise. It's your job, not a relationship. You seem to be confusing casual relationships and your job but hey call it what you want.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:33:21 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

My clients never left their tribute
you mean paid your fee, come on now, lets call the bear shit, bear shit shall we?

I've called it exactly what it is. My tributes were not always money, but sometimes work that I needed done around the house. Something to make my life a little easier. WOW What a concept!

I get the feeling that you're the one standing on the corner taking every john that comes along and you're jealous that I didn't have to do this FOR RENT MONEY. You stated earlier that you were a pro sub. Don't come in here taking it out on me just because it didn't go well for YOU.

And could you possibly fit any more explitives into your posts? Sheeesh!

Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:36:47 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

sorry still sticking with my original premise. It's your job, not a relationship. You seem to be confusing casual relationships and your job but hey call it what you want.

Not at all. I'm simply sticking with the premise that I didn't have to see every submissive who contacted me.

Mistress Scarlet

Edited to add: If this WERE a relationship, I wouldn't care if we did what HE wanted every time.

< Message edited by MstrssScarlet -- 10/12/2011 9:44:01 AM >

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:36:58 AM

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

You got your money and probably far too much. Quit moaning. its the sucker i feel sorry for
kevin

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post - 10/12/2011 9:42:41 AM

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

You got your money and probably far too much. Quit moaning. its the sucker i feel sorry for
kevin

You've been oggling my profile ever since we had a disagreement on another post. Get over it.

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

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