RE: Depression and BDSM

RE: Depression and BDSM (Full Version)

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kalikshama -> RE: Depression and BDSM (10/24/2011 10:46:29 AM)
quote: Actually exercise is only helpful for mild to moderate cases of depression. For severe, or suicidal, it does no good. I usually remember to add this qualification, thanks.

SoulAlloy -> RE: Depression and BDSM (10/24/2011 11:21:04 AM)
Thanks for the extra information. Going outside the NHS for treatment is possible, not something I can afford unfortunately. I'd say my depression is situational, though I know other family members have suffered from it as well. I wanted to add as well that if anyone is feeling very depressed then get help, if I hadn't at the beginning I can confidently say I wouldn't be here, and the meds did stop me going down that road.

DesFIP -> RE: Depression and BDSM (10/24/2011 3:01:35 PM)
Sam, I'll bow to you on organic nongenetic. But since my family tree is endlessly fascinating to psychiatrists and neurobiologists, I know more than anybody ought to about the genetic stuff. One thing I will say, is that for anybody who has family history of mood disorders, it is really helpful if you show up with it written down. Because otherwise doctors get caught up in looking for someone/something to blame. No use wasting time in therapy talking about how cruel your parents were when actually they weren't. If you can show that this is genetic, the professionals stop doing that and focus on what to do to make it better.

samboct -> RE: Depression and BDSM (10/24/2011 3:36:13 PM)
Hi Des A good clinician is going to be able to quickly distinguish between causes of a situational depression (parents wailed on you when you were a kid will do it to) to someone who had a reasonable upbringing, but simply can't find joy in life which may or may not have a traceable genetic component. The problem is finding those good clinicians, and then figuring out what to do that will work. Sam

gorgeoushair -> RE: Depression and BDSM (10/29/2011 8:26:16 AM)
Not a psychologist, but have observed that depression can be helped with a vegan or raw vegan diet (many people have food sensitivities -- and there are tons of chemicals, hormones, toxins in a standard diet that can affect one), exercise, meditation (or some form of spirituality) and volunteering -- helping someone less fortunate than you. Keeping busy also helps. Not sure of any correlation between depresssion and bdsm. In my opinion, neither depression nor bdsm should define you. [:)]

SexyThoughts -> RE: Depression and BDSM (11/11/2011 2:33:37 AM)
BDSM probably isn't therapy. But an unselfish D should be a boost to the non prescription therapy. Things like actually doing the exercise, eating healthy, getting out and about and talking to strangers, rather than clamming up. The motivation for these therapies can be boosted by a caring D saying "Do it or else". Of course a bad D will depress even the non depressed, so you take your chances. But the sticks and carrots approach, tends to beat the stick or carrot approaches.

joshspet1980 -> RE: Depression and BDSM (3/16/2012 11:34:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: samboct Its very hard to figure out what's constructive when your depressed. There is a healing power in a good love affair, but who can fall in love with someone who's depressed? Bit of a circular problem.... I disagree with this statement. I have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety and I have found someone who fell in love with me. In fact he was in love with me for years and didn't tell me because he didn't think I'd want to be with him! And he's never had problems with Depression and the like. He's also a very intelligent man. Now, he is my Master, and I still have times when I'm feeling down or anxious. But, I take my meds and I go to counseling when I need it. I don't think my diagnosis has anything to do with the lifestyle I am choosing to lead with him. I wanted to do it because I loved him and also it reinforced my previous spiritual beliefs in the husband being the head of the household. I think everyone should have someone that loves them. Having a mental illness shouldn't exclude you from love. I am sorry SoulAlloy that his paragraph was hard to read. I completely understand why.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/12/2012 7:38:58 AM)
FR I realize this is an older thread, but just wanted to add that I think with anything like this being aware of the different influences on your brain chemistry is very important. In other words, just the realization that you are depressed and that this may have an effect on your BDSM interactions is quite critical, because I think it allows you to begin to sort out the connections (or lack thereof) in a specific way. So be thankful you have the awareness, and now you can sort out things for yourself. I think keeping a diary of sorts will be helpful to you in trying to sort this out. I think certain aspects of BDSM (particularly S&M) do relate to brain chemistry. And so I think anything in your life/lifestyle that relate to brain chemistry (e.g., exercise, diet, S&M, depression, drugs/alcohol, music etc.) should be thought of collectively, and in terms of potential interactions, in order to understand the interrelationships between the different things. The critical thing is that you start to understand the different brain chemistry effects of different things and then understand how to achieve both balance and control in your life. Entirely possible to do, but requires a tremendous amount of self understanding and monitoring of your self. I do know that there are many doctors out there who treat depression who advocate the use of exercise, diet, and even listening to mood stabilizing music to help re-calibrate brain chemistry (and try to avoid the use of prescription anti-depressants). In other words, unlocking the key to your own personal brain chemistry will help you determine what makes sense. It seems to me that BDSM could possibly be no different than exercise, diet or music in someone's depression management. i.e., another tool (that is not a prescription drug) to rebalance brain chemistry. [sm=2cents.gif]

SoulAlloy -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/12/2012 2:14:00 PM)
Thanks, is lots of food for thought :)

joether -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/17/2012 3:16:05 PM)
One of the major problems with Depression is getting those AROUND the depression patient to understand what *IS* and *ISNT* Depression. Likewise, educating those same people is equally a challenge. If the medical doctor/therapist doesnt inform the patient's parents/guardians/spouces it falls to the depression suffer. There are things you can say, that while well meaning have the opposite effects. Rather then lifting up the person, you push them down further. And then there are thinks you can say and do that help the person in big and small amounts. Unfortunately, most people do not understand Depression to even a basic level. I found a good book, and I HIGHLY recommend it to Depression suffers to give to those around them: "Talking to Depression" by Claudia J. Strauss

VideoAdminGamma -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/17/2012 3:27:53 PM)
Fast reply Because of the importance of this topic I am allowing it to stay as the original post is also only a short period beyond what is usually consider to old to post on. So chime in folks, we just had Depression Awareness month recently. Thank you for being a part of CollarMe, VideoAdminGamma

kitkat105 -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/17/2012 9:15:07 PM)
On FetL, in one of the groups recently they were discussing whether sometimes masochists use pain as a form of cathartic release or emotional enema. I think that could be very true and unfortunately I have found myself really down in the dumps.. almost like I need an emotional enema because I can't even cry it out. Almost like having the sadness beat out of you. I suppose it's not all that different to pity sex. The endorphins, adrenalin, dopamine & oxytocin released during being in love or playing certainly help.

littlewonder -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/17/2012 10:37:40 PM)
My depression is more than down in the dumps or the blues that some people feel. It's a hundred times worse than that on a daily basis every single day of the week to the point where you are begging someone to just shoot you and get it over with. Getting beat may take my mind off of it for a little while and it may get me high for a few hours but then I crash and I'm right back where I was before. For me it's a struggle all the time and something I fight with on a constant basis. Meds help but it's never cured. Meds keep me from going over the edge. I could only wish that bdsm could relieve it but it doesn't. I admit I used to try to use bdsm when I was younger to feel something, anything but then Doms came to think that they were somehow rescuing me and I'd come to be worse off than before. I no longer use bdsm in that form. I no longer use it as a catharsis or therapy because I know that it will only cause me to ignore situations and become dependent on others for my depression and then they would get pissed when they couldn't do that. They didn't understand depression. Just as now, I don't expect Master to understand it. It's not his illness. And I made sure to make him aware that he couldn't save me from this, he couldn't rescue me. Only I can do that but he can be here to simply catch me before I hit my head on the floor.

kitkat105 -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/18/2012 1:13:23 AM)
I completely understand what you mean, littlewonder. Quite a few things you said definitely hit a raw nerve with me. Some people do indeed have situational depression which may change or improve once something in their life changes. But for people with dysthymia (or other mood disorders), it's like living life in a low lying fog, you can't quite see your way out, even if some days are marginally better than others. Right now, for the first time in 13 years I feel truly happy and would say I'm not depressed (despite being on medication for it). But it's taken a lot of changes and a crazy 6 months to get to this point. The only thing that continues to make me feel depressed is my anxiety which can be just as crippling as depression.

littlewonder -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/18/2012 1:46:51 AM)
I wish I could say mine is like living in a low lying fog, more like living in a black hole and only barely being able to see a hint of a lighter shade of black and maybe a rare speck of light as you claw your way out to the top of the hole and hold on for dear life, hoping you don't slip down again.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/18/2012 6:52:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder My depression is more than down in the dumps or the blues that some people feel. It's a hundred times worse than that on a daily basis every single day of the week to the point where you are begging someone to just shoot you and get it over with. Getting beat may take my mind off of it for a little while and it may get me high for a few hours but then I crash and I'm right back where I was before. For me it's a struggle all the time and something I fight with on a constant basis. Meds help but it's never cured. Meds keep me from going over the edge. I could only wish that bdsm could relieve it but it doesn't. I admit I used to try to use bdsm when I was younger to feel something, anything but then Doms came to think that they were somehow rescuing me and I'd come to be worse off than before. I no longer use bdsm in that form. I no longer use it as a catharsis or therapy because I know that it will only cause me to ignore situations and become dependent on others for my depression and then they would get pissed when they couldn't do that. They didn't understand depression. Just as now, I don't expect Master to understand it. It's not his illness. And I made sure to make him aware that he couldn't save me from this, he couldn't rescue me. Only I can do that but he can be here to simply catch me before I hit my head on the floor. I can see that the nature of each person's depression will obviously affect what approaches would work better than others to manage the depression. And I think depression can mean a very wide range of things. I'm sorry that your depression is so severe. I can only imagine how difficult that is to manage. I think your point about using BDSM to help depression creates a co-dependency on your partner is a very important one. I think any mechanism for depressions management should not require someone to be dependent on another person (for the obvious reasons - if that person is no longer there, for whatever reason, it creates a depression management void that cannot be easily filled.) And so while I did say earlier that people have successfully used exercise, diet, and even music to control certain types of depression, I think if one is going to use BDSM in the same way, one has to be careful about the dependency issue. One can exercise, control diet, and listen to music without needing a partner. BDSM doesn't work that way, so as I think about this, reliance on the endorphin rush from S&M as a major part of one's depression management is probably risky (unless you have a way of ensuring it as a permanent activity i.e., use of professional Dominants or something like that).

Enforcersslave -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/18/2012 8:45:31 AM)
You are taking a great step in reaching out for advice. Be careful with what you do when you are going through a depressive state. If your depression is impacting your daily life on a regular basis it's better to go to a profession now...perhaps you can find one that is BDSM friendly.

DesFIP -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/19/2012 8:37:23 AM)
I've been told that if you feel like it's something imposed on you, the classic bell jar, then it is easier to treat. If mine had not been responsive to medication, I would have gone for ECT. Unlike when I was a kid, it no longer causes long term memory damage and is amazingly helpful in cases where nothing else works.

graceadieu -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/22/2012 9:14:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I've been told that if you feel like it's something imposed on you, the classic bell jar, then it is easier to treat. If mine had not been responsive to medication, I would have gone for ECT. Unlike when I was a kid, it no longer causes long term memory damage and is amazingly helpful in cases where nothing else works. Agree about the ECT. It's definitely worth a shot anyway. I'm bipolar and I did some stints in a psych ward about 10 years ago, and I remember there were some people there that did ECT because meds didn't work for them and they said they found it helpful. I was really surprised that it was still done, but apparently they do it at much lower doses (err, voltage? amperage?) these days, so it's pretty safe. Also, mood stabilizers are supposed to be helpful for some people that have ongoing depression and a family history of bipolar disorder (and I suppose you might not always know about that, if it's not your immediate family). So that's another option to consider if antidepressants aren't helping. And also, while I usually don't advocate supplements because I think mostly they're a bunch of crap, there's SAM-e. I forget what exactly it is, I think something your brain uses to make neurotransmitters?, but it does something because it was so "upping" that it made me a little manic, and it turns out that's pretty common and they don't recommend it for bipolar people, oops. [:o] ETA: Also, and hopefully all doctors are doing this upfront to rule out the possibility, so I don't need to be saying this, but people should make sure to get some bloodwork done to check for thyroid and nutritional issues, because that can cause depression and be cured very easily. So, I'm not a medical professional, but those are my totally amateur recommendations for things to look into for people that aren't helped by antidepressants.

DesFIP -> RE: Depression and BDSM (4/22/2012 10:41:35 AM)
I've got a bipolar kid. She can't take SSRIs as they cause hypomania. She takes a combination of anticonvulsants and atypical antidepressants. And D III in winter. Plus she tries to get out in the sun for at least 20 minutes a day, no sunscreen. Agree with testing the thyroid first as it can mimic mood disorders.

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