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stellauk -> RE: When a Domme Blackmails you (11/9/2011 3:38:26 AM)
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FR
Okay, so let's see the situation for what it is. She has power over you because you are letting her have that power. This is essentially how blackmail works. It's use of emotional manipulation centring around what she perceives that you are afraid of.
I can only chime in with so many others, notify the police.
Don't worry about your gender issues. It's part of you, just like someone has diabetes or freckles. That saying I can understand the fears you're experiencing right now.
Second thing - if you haven't already - is get some sort of support. I'm taking your use of the word 'transgender' means that you identify either partially or wholly with being of a different gender identity.
Maybe this is a good opportunity to work out what being transgendered means for you personally and to start to embrace it and bring it into your life. Please bear in mind that keeping it a personal secret is always going to leave you vulnerable in some way, so the first part of dealing with the stigma is you yourself accepting it, embracing it and learning to deal with it.
It depends really on whether you just want to dress and keep it as a part of your life or you want to transition and go down the route of living as a woman full time with hormones, treatment, and eventually surgery. In that case then you need to also get in touch with a medical professional and get a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist and also discuss your circumstances and feelings with them.
Being transgendered, to any degree, complicates your life and can make a dog's dinner of even the strongest relationships you have in your life. Partly because for some of the time it's an issue for you, and often because it's an issue for others. It's an issue far more than other things you can reveal about yourself because it relates specifically to gender and sex, and some people confuse the two. Some often lose sight of who you are as a person. It's basic social conditioning.
If you're planning the latter then you need to start working towards that direction and facing up to other people knowing that you identify with a different gender identity to that what you appear.
What you are doing in seeking such support, for the immediate situation, is removing that domme's power over you, and also everyone else like her.
You also need to embrace the stigma and the issues attached, because they're not going to go away. They will always be present or potentially present to some degree.
But you know, please also bear in mind that it's unlikely she's going to do anything.
Why?
Well if she perceives being transgendered as such a social disaster then she's probably going to be much too afraid of outing you anyway. People ask questions, and not just verbally either. If she has such photos, how come she has such photos, and what is her involvement in you dressing in women's clothing? Then there's the very act of outing you. This isn't in your interests, so therefore some people will see the ulterior motive for what it is. People draw their own conclusions.
It could well backfire on her. Furthermore, it's not just the transgendered who experience the stigma, but also some people who associate with them. That's why it's somewhat more difficult for some of those of us who are transgendered to find a relationship. Not everyone has space in their life for someone who is, and they too may have issues revealing it to others.
You can also call her bluff. You can play along. You can also ignore it, dismiss it. You can also preempt her, which removes her power completely.
There's so many things which you can do. Therefore I hope you can see that it's her who is in reality working from a position of weakness, and you who has the power in reality.
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