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When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 2:21:38 AM

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Hi there, I'm new to this board, though I should have posted something here years ago. I decided to come here because...well...no one else is going to understand this predicament I'm in. Let me start at the beginning.

I started messaging a domme on Collarme and we seemed to hit it off. She did not present herself as a financial dominatrix, but when we were ready to meet she suddenly informed me that I would be spending money on her. Then she stated that I would be supporting her. I have long been of the belief that you shouldn't have to pay for your dominant, especially not on the first meeting.

Something to note is that I'd sent pictures to her of myself wearing women's attire, and while that was stupid of me, it can't be undone, so let's move past that. Now she has the photos, and she informed me that if I do not submit to her immediately, she will release the photos to my friends and family. This is not a bluff, she demonstrated very well that she has the names of my family members.

I finally flat out told her that I wouldn't be blackmailed or bullied into submitting, especially since she decided to resort to it before the first meeting. She claims that she will ruin me socially and professionally, and she will do it within the next few days. As to how she got all of her information, I don't know, but all of it is spot on and I know for a fact that she can destroy me. That said, I have a few questions:

1) How exactly do I deal with this?

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Let me know what you think, thanks.

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 2:29:38 AM

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blackmail and extortion are crimes so... call the police.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 2:30:35 AM

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
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Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, threatened me over the internet?

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 3:38:16 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Hi there, I'm new to this board, though I should have posted something here years ago. I decided to come here because...well...no one else is going to understand this predicament I'm in. Let me start at the beginning.

I started messaging a domme on Collarme and we seemed to hit it off. She did not present herself as a financial dominatrix, but when we were ready to meet she suddenly informed me that I would be spending money on her. Then she stated that I would be supporting her. I have long been of the belief that you shouldn't have to pay for your dominant, especially not on the first meeting.

Something to note is that I'd sent pictures to her of myself wearing women's attire, and while that was stupid of me, it can't be undone, so let's move past that. Now she has the photos, and she informed me that if I do not submit to her immediately, she will release the photos to my friends and family. This is not a bluff, she demonstrated very well that she has the names of my family members.

I finally flat out told her that I wouldn't be blackmailed or bullied into submitting, especially since she decided to resort to it before the first meeting. She claims that she will ruin me socially and professionally, and she will do it within the next few days. As to how she got all of her information, I don't know, but all of it is spot on and I know for a fact that she can destroy me. That said, I have a few questions:

1) How exactly do I deal with this?

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Let me know what you think, thanks.

1. You go to the cops. Think of it from her point of view - she stands to make a few bucks if this goes well, and get charged with a crime if it doesn't. Get her IP address and she could be tracked down, or at least a good attempt made.

2. You're 22. At your age, I'd expect some experimentation.

3. My ex outed me as a spanko to my family. They realized she was not happy with me (we were getting divorced at the time), and just didn't speak of it to me.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:11:22 AM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, threatened me over the internet?

Yes. I would suggest exactly that. If her threats have come in emails, then there'd be evidence that would make for a stronger-than-usual chance for conviction. Also, the police might be able to find her through her IP address. Police generally do like easy arrests and watertight cases.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 11/8/2011 4:28:52 AM >

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(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:25:23 AM

SuzeQ

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From: Under her wing
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I find myself wondering how can she ruin you by sending pictures of you in the "get-up you wore to that costume party?"

Oh yeah, call the cops.

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:27:43 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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1) How exactly do I deal with this?

As others have said, go to the police.

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

If you go to the police, I'm not sure why your family has to find out. But if they do, you should be prepared for it. I don't know your family. Some would be fine with it, others not, most will come around in time but you have to clue them in slowly. Find a therapist who can help you with that.

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

I have known people who have and for the same reason, they were CD or transgendered in some way. The only way to deal with this kind of thing is to first understand you are being bullied, and then second to realize the only thing to do with a bully is stand up to them. So go to the police !! BTW: Don't tell her !! Act like you are going along with the blackmail to learn what you can about her.

Let me know what you think, thanks.

Reasons why you should never send compromising pictures to a stranger on the internet. Only send *those* pics to someone you KNOW will not use them against you or post them elsewhere.

Best, Chatte

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:31:10 AM

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Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, threatened me over the internet?

You are 22. Easy enough to tell your family and friends that it was a drunken prank that got out of hand.

The words "photo-shopped" have a nice ring too.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:33:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SuzeQ

I find myself wondering how can she ruin you by sending pictures of you in the "get-up you wore to that costume party?"

Excellent.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to SuzeQ)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:34:57 AM

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Well, the get up I wore to the costume party consisted of multiple dresses, a lot of kneeling poses, gags, and me laying across a bed waiting to be spanked. I'm not sure what kind of costume party this was.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:36:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Act like you are going along with the blackmail to learn what you can about her.[/color]

I'd agree with that. The police may want opportunities to trap her. I'd recommend that the OP stall, waffling about how he's got to find the money somehow, etc.

_____________________________

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(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:36:46 AM

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Call the bitches bluff.

In Iowa City there is a guy, a real piece of shit. He had been bullying the women from the area for quite a while. It was brought to my attention by woman on the site, listed as a submissive. He would contact them, be super nice and just your very bestest friend. His communication style was exactly like many of the guys on the forums people like so very much. But as soon as he had the woman trusting him enough to give personal information, he did a 180.

I mean this guy turned into a complete freak. Saying how he had printed off copies of their profile (if they had photos) and was going to post them all over the place, and would name actual locations in the area that allow you to post fliers publicly. He was relentless. Constantly changing his profile, creating new ones. He had several women quite scared, which I am sure he really dug......A LOT.

One local woman, that even used to participate here in the forums, talked to me quite a lot about his behaviour towards her and how frightened she was. She was involved in issues with her ex and was really concerned.

Yeah well, bullies just piss me right off. I lured the fucker in, got HIS information, let him threaten ME and then I contacted my friends in law enforcement. Turns out the douchebag has multiple sexual assaults, multiple sexual harrassments, and was on probation. His online games were a violation of his probation and back to jail he went.

Don't let people, men or women, get away with that bullshit. Ultimately, they have more to lose that you. Like their freedom.

And yes, the police CAN, if they really want to, track her down. It's simple shit.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:42:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Well, the get up I wore to the costume party consisted of multiple dresses, a lot of kneeling poses, gags, and me laying across a bed waiting to be spanked. I'm not sure what kind of costume party this was.

The police might well suspect that you are, in fact, transgender-inclined. But that's not a crime, whereas blackmail is.

I'm also wondering, are you using that word 'transgender' properly? You sound more of a TV to me. Then again, I'm not well-up on the nuances of some of these terms.

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RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:44:53 AM

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Okay yes, for god's sake, transgendered is the right word, female in male body, but that's not the point of the post. (Sorry but I hate addressing this one)

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:48:21 AM

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Wait.. why do you hate addressing this "one"? Im assuming the "one" is the "being transgendered"? (sorry about that mistake... just waking up)

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 11/8/2011 4:49:19 AM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:51:35 AM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Okay yes, for god's sake, transgendered is the right word, female in male body, but that's not the point of the post. (Sorry but I hate addressing this one)

Fair enough. I don't care one way or another. It's your, entirely legal, business.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:59:47 AM

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Joined: 8/20/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Wait.. why do you hate addressing this "one"? Im assuming the "one" is the "being transgendered"? (sorry about that mistake... just waking up)

Don't you hate having to prove that you understand what you are everytime you bring it up casually?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:05:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123
Don't you hate having to prove that you understand what you are everytime you bring it up casually?

OK, I can imagine that. But for present purposes, should the worst happen - you got drunk out of your brains one night at a party and ended up with a woman who wanted you to dress up in her clothes. Anyway, like you say, what you actually are -TG-,TV, whatever, doesn't matter here.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ETOX123)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:07:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123
Don't you hate having to prove that you understand what you are everytime you bring it up casually?

OK, I can imagine that. But for present purposes, should the worst happen - you got drunk out of your brains one night at a party and ended up with a woman who wanted you to dress up in her clothes. Anyway, like you say, what you actually are -TG-,TV, whatever, doesn't matter here.

That could work, and then later I need to find a woman that actually DOES want me to dress up in her clothes. Forcefully, without blackmail. There might be an eggbeater involved.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:10:30 AM

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Your are quite possible NOT the only one this blackmailer is targeting and has most likely done this before and got away with it. Just think if someone had stood up before you would not be here. If you do not stand up now someone else will be here and soon. If your worried how you will be treated at the police station (a valid concern) just print the e-mails you have and go to the police as “friend” of the victim and gage the reaction of the officer assigned to your case. If unsympathetic, leave and try again the next day. If understanding, then state who you are right way as not to discount your testimony. I have found it easier to stand up to bullies when I am doing it for others rather than myself.

(in reply to ETOX123)

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