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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 6:34:41 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sell your hair to get a chain for his watch. (Bonus points to those who recognize that.)

I believe that has already been brought up

and yes I recognize it and it's one of my favorites.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 6:37:03 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sell your hair to get a chain for his watch. (Bonus points to those who recognize that.)

I believe that has already been brought up and yes I recognize it and it's one of my favorites.

Dammit. I should have checked first. LafayetteLady brought it up and hlen supplied the reference.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 6:37:36 AM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sell your hair to get a chain for his watch. (Bonus points to those who recognize that.)

WATCH, it was a freaking watch! What had me so focused on it being music or art related?

Thanks, now I can tell the whole story again correctly.

NO WORRIES NOT HERE, LOL

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 6:58:08 AM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Handmade gifts are great if one is good at making them. Sir and I aren't talented at that. I'd be ok with a broke Christmas for one year, two years, whatever. I'm not ok with this because it's our first Christmas as a married couple. Every year isn't a couple's first Christmas. That only happens once.

Yes it only happens once and had the cancer not gone away it would have been your only christmas. But the cancer is gone and you have many years to look forward to. Like so many others have already said, try concentrating on that and quit worrying about presents. If the worse thing you have to worry about this holiday is not being able to hand out expensive gifts, then you will be much better off than a lot of other people.

My two most memorable Christmases when I was married? 1. When I got the flu and spent the holiday wanting to die on the floor of the guest room. 2. When my then husband and I spent hours driving around on Christmas morning, completely unbelieving there wasn't a diner open anywhere.

I would say, OP, don't worry so much about manufacturing memories. They will happen on their own.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 6:59:47 AM

TheFireWithinMe

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Don't you get it? It isn't - or SHOULDN'T be - the stuff that will make your first Christmas special, it's being together that'll make it special. Start your own tradition by making a non-traditional meal, oh hell just make the way you celebrate Christmas special. Stuff is just stuff, creating your own memories is what counts.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:24:38 AM

tiggerspoohbear

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~NM~ Just not even worth trying to knock sense into the OP.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:26:13 AM

windchymes

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I'll bet there are a lot of cancer widows and widowers out there who would cherish the opportunity to be spending Christmas with their loved one with no money or presents.

And that's all I'm saying.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:31:40 AM

LaTigresse

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Money is tight at Casa LaTigresse this year. G.D. and I won't be getting one another much of anything and we are both totally cool with that. I've warned my kids that they won't be getting anything extravagant and the grand kids are just going to have to suck it up and deal with whatever they get. I am quite certain the boys will be unimpressed. Too fucking bad. If they bitch and whine, mean granny might just grab the present from their over indulged little mitts and take it back.

Christmas isnt' about the fucking presents. It's about spending time with the people that you love. If that isn't good enough for you then maybe you deserves some coal and belly button lint in your stocking and nothing else.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 11/12/2011 9:32:29 AM >

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:37:54 AM

barelynangel

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I disagree,

PART of christmas is about gifts, i mean afterall Christmas in and of itself is about the gift of Christ and his birth was a gift etc. However, what Christmas isn't about is the monetary value put on the gifts.

People always view gifts and presents in a monetary value. There is nothing wrong with wanting to present someone with gifts and presents, afterall PART of Christmas is about giving and yes, getting.

I think people have forgotten gifts don't have to be something bought or have a monetary value to it or be extravagant or the latest and greatest thing at the store.

Christmas is about, in part, gifts, but its not about monetary value --- that is what many people have forgotten.

angel

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:53:11 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I would think being alive would make this Christmas special.

This! I'm also a cancer survivor. (I'm a DES baby) I'm going to tell you that right now he's not thinking about how a luxurious Christmas would be special, he's thinking about how fantastic it is that you're here to share a first Christmas.

After my last surgery (6...count 'em 6!) and second round of radiation therapy, I decided that instead of tons of presents, I would have huge potluck parties with all of our friends. I'd rather spend our money for an evening with friends than a bunch of gifts.

There are a ton of things you can do. What's your favorite Christmas movie? Have a sweet little movie night. Go caroling. Do goofy things that you did as kids. Think outside the (gift) box.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

If money keeps you from having a great holiday, that is all on you chickie. You are here, he is here, yall are together. Many would give up every penny they have to be in your shoes.

I understand coming back from this is hard. You mind wants to go over every reason why you should be depressed and bitter. But, if you don't start embracing some positive thoughts, it's going to become a habit and you're going to live out the rest of life with a crappy attitude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
but one thing I don't do is go around insulting cancer survivors.

You're not being insulted, you're being called on bad behavior and you're not the only cancer survivor on this board.

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
I'm not ok with this because it's our first Christmas as a married couple. Every year isn't a couple's first Christmas. That only happens once.

You're right, it only happens once and buying presents has nothing to with making it special. 10 years from now a present isn't what he's going to remember. Get over your materialism.

That said:Retail hires a ton of temporary workers this time of year. Most wouldn't require any heavy lifting but most will require that you be on your feet for long periods. If you're looking for something temporary, that's probably the way to go.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 9:54:56 AM

Iamsemisweet

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If you can't find a job that will work for you, you could spend your time while you recover improving your typing skills. Get a computer program from the library, take an adult education course, something. It may not help you before Christmas, but at least you would be opening up the range of jobs you can get. It will also help you feel proactive, instead of victimized.

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 11/12/2011 9:55:34 AM >

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:12:54 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

you could spend your time while you recover improving your typing skills.

There's an online game called "Typer Shark" and it's free. It will rapidly improve typing skills.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:34:23 AM

stellauk

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Handmade gifts are great if one is good at making them. Sir and I aren't talented at that. I'd be ok with a broke Christmas for one year, two years, whatever. I'm not ok with this because it's our first Christmas as a married couple. Every year isn't a couple's first Christmas. That only happens once.

You miss the point about handmade gifts. They don't have to be great at all, because all the meaning and the satisfaction comes from the attempt and the giving.

What is the point of going on about this being a couple's first Christmas if all you're going to be doing is being miserable over what isn't and not focussing on what is and what could be?

It's not even the middle of November, and you're desperate over this? Hmm, okay.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:39:50 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I disagree,

PART of christmas is about gifts, i mean afterall Christmas in and of itself is about the gift of Christ and his birth was a gift etc. However, what Christmas isn't about is the monetary value put on the gifts.

People always view gifts and presents in a monetary value. There is nothing wrong with wanting to present someone with gifts and presents, afterall PART of Christmas is about giving and yes, getting.

I think people have forgotten gifts don't have to be something bought or have a monetary value to it or be extravagant or the latest and greatest thing at the store.

Christmas is about, in part, gifts, but its not about monetary value --- that is what many people have forgotten.

angel

For you and your's perhaps.......but not for me and mine. I don't get into the christian reason for the holiday so I've made it my own, in my own way. For ME, it's more of an extended version of Thanksgiving. For ME, it's only about family time.

I don't have to put up a tree (whether I do or not, depends on if anyone will actually be here, at the farm, over the holiday) or decorate the house. I don't have to have any gifts around at all.... I only focus on being with the people I love and enjoying the moment.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:47:56 AM

AlwaysLisa

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quote:

For you and your's perhaps.......but not for me and mine. I don't get into the christian reason for the holiday so I've made it my own, in my own way. For ME, it's more of an extended version of Thanksgiving. For ME, it's only about family time.

I don't have to put up a tree (whether I do or not, depends on if anyone will actually be here, at the farm, over the holiday) or decorate the house. I don't have to have any gifts around at all.... I only focus on being with the people I love and enjoying the moment.

Beautiful.

I'm sure you can relate, when I say that Christmas is a time, the meaning comes from within, not decorations, gifts or trees. I am not a follower of any religion, I've lost the majority of my family, but come the day after Thanksgiving, I have a little more bounce in my step and can't stop singing, not to sound too corny...there is magic in the air.

Your words hit home, thank you.

Lisa

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:48:58 AM

barelynangel

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LaTigress you are missing my meaning as much as you are saying the OP is missing yours and others. A GIFT can be having dinner with someone you love. A gift doesn't need to be tangible.

Perhaps in your need to obliterate gifts and presents and make christmas not about material things -- you yourself may have forgotten what a gift and present also can be.

You do sound a little condescending in your need to NEVER have a concept of gifts around, in fact your whole post about the gifts -- it appears to me you shouldn't be giving them at all because you don't seem like YOU WANT to give them. If you have to have such a bad attitude about giving gifts to people in your family that you have to tell your kids what not to expect and you are already taking the gifts to the kids away and acting like they are little jerks, then your attitude to me is no better than the OPs. I mean if you think about it -- spending time for family should be a YEAR round thing not just a Christmas thing.

GIFTS are not the bad thing at Christmas to me its people who NEED to put monetary value on them that causes issues or even your own anti-gift antagonism that you appear to have is just as bad as people who put monetary value on a gift.

Hell Christmas and giving is supposed to be enjoyable -- if you are having to tell your kids and think boys will be unimpressed and are already angry enough to take gifts away -- why even give them because that's not the spirit of Christmas either.

Perhaps your gift to them would be faith in them that you raised them to simply appreciate the spirit of Christmas rather than being so pessimistic about your family and such. Wouldn't cost you a thing except perhaps a little vulerability that they may not live up to your expectations.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 11/12/2011 10:55:23 AM >

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 10:56:16 AM

LaTigresse

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I think you are misunderstanding my posts on the subject. Perhaps I didn't write them clearly enough.

However, if you are dead set on picking apart my posts, I am really not going to bother clarifying for you unless you express a need to understand where I am coming from. But I won't waste my time just to give you further ammo to play with.

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 11:03:41 AM

barelynangel

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I do understand where you are coming from but maybe just maybe you do need to look at how you come across with regard to gifts. I mean did you remotely read what you said about your own family? I guess that's what i was commenting on -- you are no better than the OP with regard to the pessimism towards gifts -- she in not being able to give monetary value and you in thinking everyone will only weigh the monetary value and you are already bracing yourself pessimistically with regard to your family.

IS that really the spirit of gift giving on Christmas.

Yes, spending time with loved ones is an awesome part of Christmas but the gift giving isn't some big BAD WOLF you are making it into to me you are doing exactly what the OP is but in the opposite, you are against gifts because in your mind you are thinking monetary value rather than the spirit of gifts on Christmas

angel

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 11:07:37 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I do understand where you are coming from but maybe just maybe you do need to look at how you come across with regard to gifts. I mean did you remotely read what you said about your own family? I guess that's what i was commenting on -- you are no better than the OP with regard to the pessimism towards gifts -- she in not being able to give monetary value and you in thinking everyone will only weigh the monetary value and you are already bracing yourself pessimistically with regard to your family.

IS that really the spirit of gift giving on Christmas.

Yes, spending time with loved ones is an awesome part of Christmas but the gift giving isn't some big BAD WOLF you are making it into to me you are doing exactly what the OP is but in the opposite, you are against gifts because in your mind you are thinking monetary value rather than the spirit of gifts on Christmas

angel

The part I bolded tells me that you totally DO NOT understand where I am/was coming from.

You may think you do, but trust me, on this one you are totally fucking clueless.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: desperate and depressed - 11/12/2011 11:09:04 AM

hausboy

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I've been working on becoming a minimalist as part of my own spiritual path for the past year or so (from being a pack rat, no less!) and these days, it's all about the experience as the gift and not a material "thing". I no longer need or want gifts (in the traditional sense).... I've asked my brother's wife (who is obsessed with material gift giving) to please stop buying me gifts for the holiday. I've given her a list of my favorite charities....which she ignores....and I've even tried asking for consumables (cookies, homemade...no tin or packaging)...and that was ignored too. I was told I was being selfish because I was depriving her of HER experience of shopping, which she enjoys. My ex-wife and her family were also obsessed with gifts....rarely practical or useful...and over the past year, I've sold or donated virtually everything they ever gave me.

Time IS the gift. spending time with those you love, doing things you enjoy, is far more precious a commodity than anything you could ever purchase or create.

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