RE: Biases on collarme? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Biases on collarme?


Posters tend to be more sympathetic to women
  24% (24)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to men
  0% (0)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to subs/bottoms
  9% (9)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to Dominants/Masters
  8% (8)
Posters tend to be more sympathetic to slaves
  3% (3)
There tends to be an anti D/s bias here.
  3% (3)
There tends to be an anti M/s bias here.
  7% (7)
Posters tend to take women more seriously.
  9% (9)
Posters tend to take men more seriously.
  2% (2)
Other
  34% (34)


Total Votes : 99
(last vote on : 10/8/2012 7:10:16 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


LaTigresse -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 8:53:22 AM)

Ya. Even as a culprit ripper I have to agree with you on that.

I don't remember my initiation being any sort of bad but then again, I might have an abnormally thick skin or.....snuck in under the radar.

I think that a lot of people come from the experience of a shit site like one of the adult.........whatever......finder, where it is ridiculously overly sexual and trollish. They hate that experience but have developed that pattern of communication, come here with that pattern yet dislike what most of us see it as standing for and don't understand yet why it's so annoying. They either want to stick around bad enough and are smart enough to figure out the problem and fix it..........or they just disappear.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 8:55:05 AM)

I admit that I do not feel guilty if I help make them disappear.

And they DON'T all disappear. Some of them get with what this place is about, and show off their personalities before their genitalia.

Edited for clarity.




LillyBoPeep -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:02:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Like it or not, CM has a reputation for ripping newbies to SHREDS.

Not just the trolls.

Sometimes they are just innocents who use the wrong wording, and they get mercilessly berated.


+1 !!




Sundowner -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:08:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
...
I don't remember my initiation being any sort of bad ...


Me too LT. I remember quite clearly the kindness and courtesy I received from a gang of some P&RS regulars when I first posted. (Many of them still around and I trust they understood my appreciation).

But maybe we were just all younger then ...









LadyHibiscus -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:09:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
...
I don't remember my initiation being any sort of bad ...


Me too LT. I remember quite clearly the kindness and courtesy I received from a gang of some P&RS regulars when I first posted. (Many of them still around and I trust they understood my appreciation).

But maybe we were just all younger then ...




There was a whole other crew of folks in 2005. Being a bulldozer, of course I launched right in, and only had trouble with... Mods One and Three. Yeah. So, the POSTERS here were not a problem at all...




tj444 -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:14:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Most of the shit is almost exactly like the middle school girl bullying I saw 35ish years ago. To be honest, I see a lot less of it now than I did a year or so ago. And quite honestly, most of the culprits were female and identify as submissive or slave. A few of the culprits were single males that identify as dominant. Nearly all of the culprits spent most of their time in Random Stupidity being not so randomly stupid. There were a rew posters that are/were obviously less fortunate in a few ways, that the randomly stupid twats used to take every oportunity possible to tear apart, quite often under the guise of being 'helpful'. They got away with it consistently. I remember more than once emailing one of the twats victims and encouraging them to ingore the dumbasses.


This.
And imo some of those bully dumbasses are also trying to incite their victims into responding in kind and to get them to post something that breaks the TOS and gets themselves banned. When they post to my posts I no longer respond at all. Its sort of funny tho, one of those female posters doesnt seem to even think of herself as a bully, she claims she is the opposite. If she likes a person she wont insult or bully them but if she doesnt like you, nothing but insults from her... I only respond to those that can control their emotions and want an adult insult-free discussion..

As far as newbies go,.. they are welcomed until they say something that offends, then they end up digging themselves a hole.. But thats the way it is on all forums i have ever been on...

I also think that many posters do say things they wouldnt say in public, just as on the other side, I get blunt initial emails from men that are rude and things they would never ask/say to a stranger on the street... but somehow here they feel its ok to say... [8|]




shivermetimbers -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:15:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Sometimes they are just innocents who use the wrong wording, and they get mercilessly berated.

I have no issues when an obvious wanker material thread is started by someone new, but it's the legit ones that often get the same treatment, and quite often the responses puzzle me.

My favorites are when a legit question is asked is when they are told to:

1. "Use the search button in the upper right hand corner."

Of course, that's the first thing everyone does on a social network of any form, is to spend a month learning all the ins and outs of the site. Just quite possibly, they may not be sure how to use it, but I never see anyone volunteer to mentor them through. Even more amazing, is after it's said once, why do many others keep saying it too?

2. "Join your local munch."

There may not BE a local munch in the area. And quite honestly, some people may not want to go out and meet a bunch of strangers all at once, face to face. Not to mention, going to a munch doesn't guarantee you're meeting anyone of any quality any more than posting an ad on Craigs List.

3. "Don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions, and learn from those who have a lot of experience and are well known in 'The Community'."

Which they started doing, however, they ended up getting the reply in number 1 above.








HannahLynn -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:18:04 AM)

one of my earliest experiences of cm consisted of a shit load of fucking regulars trying to rip me to pieces, calling me every sort of evil thing they could dream up. i fucking fell in love with the place. i was like "fuck yea! now this is the way a fucking forum should be!"

the dainty ass little twats who run away from an contrary opinion or strong language shouldn't fucking be online to begin with, if you want that sort of shit, that's what tea parties with your maiden aunt are for.




tj444 -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:26:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
Remember who opens the jars around here.

naw, around here you just open cans of worms... [:D]

I'm the guy you hate to agree with.


naw, i just like your hair.. [:D]




BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:36:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I know we have that reputation, BSB, but "innocents"? I don't know how many of those we have. I am ready to admit that I hold people to a higher intellectual standard and I EXPECT that they come here as adults with a certain mental capacity. I am proved wrong often, but I keep dreaming!

There is a lot of pouncing that could be handled more gently, and I have been working on that with myself. The guy that wanted to wank in "public", for instance. He got jumped. He didn't really mean PUBLIC, he meant "in a club where people can see me". Others have wanted to fuck in the town square, and yanno? They deserve to hear the "range of opinions". [;)]




LOL.. People posting innocently, with no ulterior motive other than what they laid out in their OP.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 9:40:33 AM)

LOL!! Well that's a misread on my part! People posting with no ulterior motive? Wowser! Of course, we've been taken for a ride more than once taking posters at face value...




agirl -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 10:48:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynn

one of my earliest experiences of cm consisted of a shit load of fucking regulars trying to rip me to pieces, calling me every sort of evil thing they could dream up. i fucking fell in love with the place. i was like "fuck yea! now this is the way a fucking forum should be!"

the dainty ass little twats who run away from an contrary opinion or strong language shouldn't fucking be online to begin with, if you want that sort of shit, that's what tea parties with your maiden aunt are for.



In many ways I agree with you. Not everyone is up to dealing with what comes from forums online, and as it's not something that can be regulated, it's a case of get with the programme or get out. You at least need to be able to participate.

My youngest son was a moderator in an adult forum at 14yrs old (gaming thing) He had adult men behaving with his firm but fair approach. He stood no nonsense, rarely swore and reasoned the shit out of them.  They hadn't a clue that he was 14yrs old. I didn't inhibit his participation but after a while he resigned,as * Seriously Mum, they need a bloody mother, not a moderator*.

As for biases....

QUOTE:
Do you think the biggest bias around here is for, or against, individual posters, instead of genders or orientations?
UNQUOTE

Yes, I very much think so.

It could be a badly worded OP or it could be that their face doesn't fit, metaphorically speaking. Also as Heather mentioned way back at the beginning, it could be that...

QUOTE:
I think there definitely is a bias, but it isn't one that can be nailed down, to a large degree it depends on the exact situation being addressed, and also on who the early posters are and how they address the OP. If it starts out sarcastic/snarky, it can be very hard to get the thread back on track. Those early posts often set the tone for the next few pages. Its not just a herd instinct thing, but if you read through 10 replies basically questioning the OP's integrity, by the time you get to the end to post, you find yourself predisposed to question it as well.

Sometimes its preferable to just read the OP, answer based on that alone, then read the rest of the thread. Of course, depending on how the thread has developed, that can be a dumb move as well.

UNQUOTE.

(Done that more than a few times and wished I hadn't.....lol)

When it comes to a forum, where people have been around a while and have got a bit chummy, there can be a reticence to disagree or to stand alone from the crowd, in case they, too, get the frosty shoulder. Being popular matters quite a lot to far more people than would like to admit such.

It doesn't matter to me what motive any particular poster has. I only post out of interest, for myself.( and I've been *informed* more than a few times)  I don't post with even a marginal degree of altruism. I'm simply far too selfish.

I also am not part of the *we* that liberally spinkles many posts.

agirl

fixed a got to a get.


















NocturnalStalker -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:06:33 AM)

quote:

i fucking dare you to say that in st-leonard, nobody would be bothered by your posts again. or even fucking better any place in the kingdom, they'd never find your fucking body.

talk about the fucking bravery of being out of range.


Any person that has ever spoken to a Quebecois gets the notion that all French people (such as Parisians) are the same racist and needlessly arrogant snobs.  They don't have reason to be arrogant at all.  Their culture is inferior, and their dialect is a bastardization of Euro-French.  Then there are those that somehow believe because they speak the language that makes French apart of their background. 

They're little ratty counterfeits. 




agirl -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:14:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

i fucking dare you to say that in st-leonard, nobody would be bothered by your posts again. or even fucking better any place in the kingdom, they'd never find your fucking body.

talk about the fucking bravery of being out of range.


Any person that has ever spoken to a Quebecois gets the notion that all French people (such as Parisians) are the same racist and needlessly arrogant snobs.  They don't have reason to be arrogant at all.  Their culture is inferior, and their dialect is a bastardization of Euro-French.  Then there are those that somehow believe because they speak the language that makes French apart of their background. 

They're little ratty counterfeits. 



No idea about that, but there's nothing like being told what being Irish means by 3rd generation *American Irish*. And I'm not even bloody Irish.

If only they knew.

agirl




Epytropos -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:24:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I still think it's an anti STUPID bias, Sundowner. We have newbies that are welcomed because they have fucking brains!

Or else we're just a bunch of vinegary old bats (regardless of calendar age) and heaven help everyone!! [;)]


Like it or not, CM has a reputation for ripping newbies to SHREDS.

Not just the trolls.

Sometimes they are just innocents who use the wrong wording, and they get mercilessly berated.


Gotta agree with this. If you make a post which is the least bit controversial in your first 1-200 posts, you may as well pack your shit and get the fuck out unless you are penultimately capable of defending the position. I'd be willing to bet we lose probably 40% of new posters to that, and I don't think it's the intellectual bottom 40% either. I'd guess it's more the 40% who don't enjoy rabid conflict over every stupid little thing.




TheFireWithinMe -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:26:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

i fucking dare you to say that in st-leonard, nobody would be bothered by your posts again. or even fucking better any place in the kingdom, they'd never find your fucking body.

talk about the fucking bravery of being out of range.


Any person that has ever spoken to a Quebecois gets the notion that all French people (such as Parisians) are the same racist and needlessly arrogant snobs.  They don't have reason to be arrogant at all.  Their culture is inferior, and their dialect is a bastardization of Euro-French.  Then there are those that somehow believe because they speak the language that makes French apart of their background. 

They're little ratty counterfeits. 



No idea about that, but there's nothing like being told what being Irish means by 3rd generation *American Irish*. And I'm not even bloody Irish.

If only they knew.

agirl



How do you think I feel. A non-Quebecois just told me that the people I've grown up around are , racist, and needlessly arrogant snobs. Heh, I had no idea!




GreedyTop -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:27:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

quote:

i fucking dare you to say that in st-leonard, nobody would be bothered by your posts again. or even fucking better any place in the kingdom, they'd never find your fucking body.

talk about the fucking bravery of being out of range.


Any person that has ever spoken to a Quebecois gets the notion that all French people (such as Parisians) are the same racist and needlessly arrogant snobs.  They don't have reason to be arrogant at all.  Their culture is inferior, and their dialect is a bastardization of Euro-French.  Then there are those that somehow believe because they speak the language that makes French apart of their background. 

They're little ratty counterfeits. 




I never got that from either Quebecois *OR* Parisians. They were all equally welcoming to me.

and that was QUITE friendly and welcoming.. they were all willing to accept that my Francais was shite.. but I MADE AN EFFORT.




TheFireWithinMe -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:33:38 AM)

quote:

but I MADE AN EFFORT.


Chances are they would switch to English after you made that effort. I've actually heard native speakers mangle the language they've spoken all their lives so you are in good company.




GreedyTop -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:37:17 AM)

Usually they did.. sometimes, it was quite comical.. (I understand more than I speak, but I never found that to be a 'problem'). In fact, I find that (generally) French speakers are more accomodating than, say, Spanish speakers...this is, of course, GENERALLY speaking)




TheFireWithinMe -> RE: Biases on collarme? (11/12/2011 11:41:03 AM)

I soooo understand the comical thingy. One of my doctor bosses is french speaking and he is forever dictating stuff that doesn't mean what he thinks it does.




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