RE: Is BDSM to popular

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Is BDSM to popular

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is BDSM to popular

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:15:48 AM

MasterandCommand

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/24/2004
Status: offline

Who is the real predator? The young one that is not of legal age that uses fake ID's and is able to pass as a legal person to a Dominant? Or the Dominant that trusts in the honesty of women and accepts the fact that she is telling the truth that she is of legal age?

He is the one that goes to jail for statuatory rape while she is neve held responsible and goes onto the next sucker on her list...

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:22:11 AM

MasterandCommand

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/24/2004
Status: offline

I have been in this lifestyle before it became a lifestyle... as many others here have also. We have watched as this has grown from obscurity to becoming almost mainstream.... in fact among many it is a FAD... it is cool tobe called a slave and collared... the problem with that is that the new-be's don't like the qualifications or definition of what a submissive is as opposed to being a slave... so the most simple thing to do is to change the meanings to be what they want it to be...

that is where the argument comes when women disrespect others for calling a person who claims to be a slave when in reality she is nothing more than a submissive. This is the liberal pop psychology bunch that also preaches to women never to be responsible for their own actions.

A slave is a slave and has not control in her life except the ability to move on... anything less than that and she is a submissive... so get over it and quit trying to redefine the english language just becasue you don't like the meaning of a word that you want to apply to yourself for your own ego.

(in reply to MasterandCommand)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:26:32 AM

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

~Stands up and claps~... Very, very nicely said...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to feastie)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:34:03 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/28/2006
From: Germany
Status: offline

You worried about the young ones?
There are also BDSM pages for teenagers that don't have any porn on it, they are created for those with such "kinks" or however you want to call it and are too young for adult sites. Those pages help them to understand those things and give them the opportunity to make contacts with similar people of their age group and sometimes even organize things where they can meet. Damn, why am I talking in the plural? I know one site, I don't know if it's also available in English, but the one I know is www.smjg.org or something like that..
Thanks for reading.
Anne
(PS: I only read the first posts of this, so I dont know what the rest says; but the first ones were about the young ones being molested or whatever)

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: Is BDSM too popular - 5/27/2006 9:38:14 AM

Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei
I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.
Her response makes me wonder if what we do is becoming to popular and attracting the wrong people, or if better communication is required to get over the fundamentals of what we do.
Bugei Master of slave o^^

Despite the fact that we think folks should be more open-minded about what we do, the most judgmental people seem to be those within BdSm. Everyone thinks THEY have the only truth (which is reasonable & sane) but everyone else is wrong & a sicko pervert.

This young girl slave ... she isn't YOUR slave. She owes you no obeisance. So she has all the right in the world to tell you to do anything she wants. If you don't like what you call a 'command' ... then you can either accept it ... or you can ignore her. If someone agrees with her, then they might make a good match. What's it to you? If you disagree with how someone else wants to live their life or what kind of relationship they are seeking, what gives you the right to disagree? Who says that your interpretation of anything should be everyone else's? If you don't like what she posted, then just move on and leave her alone!

< Message edited by ADomDoc -- 5/27/2006 9:39:48 AM >

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:39:04 AM

darq

Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterandCommand

Who is the real predator? The young one that is not of legal age that uses fake ID's and is able to pass as a legal person to a Dominant? Or the Dominant that trusts in the honesty of women and accepts the fact that she is telling the truth that she is of legal age?

He is the one that goes to jail for statuatory rape while she is neve held responsible and goes onto the next sucker on her list...

I never used a fake ID ...

And the dominant that I spoke of who brags about his girl, also brags about her being under legal age and a virgin when he met her so its not like she pulled the wool over his eyes. I sincerely love it when the victim is accused of being the seducer and the predator is passed off as some poor trusting soul.

Please ...

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to MasterandCommand)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:41:35 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.
Her response makes me wonder if what we do is becoming to popular and attracting the wrong people, or if better communication is required to get over the fundamentals of what we do.

Bugei Master of slave o^^

I am going to have a different response to you than the others have. Who are you to decide who is submissive? I do not know what she wrote on her profile, but just because she identifies herself as a submissive does not mean that she has to have a certain "type" of profile. I know in my profiles I have stated "if you get to the bottom of this profile answer this question", so I will know they actually read my profile. I guess this might seem an order to you, but many subs do this sort of thing. Her rude response might be because of her age, but basically if some stranger emailed me to critique my profile I would most likely ignore them. She does not know you so what you say has no weight with her. Now I do not like rudeness either, but perhaps if you looked at it from her point of view you could be anybody.

Most people that practice BDSM do it in their own home and they are not at your events, etc. Your question seems slightly elitist to me. "Too popular", "too many of the wrong people".. it reminds me of trying to get into the country club from the wrong side of the tracks....The internet makes it possible for anyone to claim to be anything, these people are not necessarily involved in real life anyways. It is just fantasy to them, so if you are asking if BDSM related fantasies are more popular than ever I would have to say, no... people have been using this stuff for fantasy for millenia, they just have an easier time sharing these fantasies.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:44:58 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.
Her response makes me wonder if what we do is becoming to popular and attracting the wrong people, or if better communication is required to get over the fundamentals of what we do.

Bugei Master of slave o^^

What WAS her response?

What does *attracting the wrong people* mean, in precise terms?

agirl

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 9:47:03 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

As a youngun, who got into this -very- young, I'm -glad- it's accessable to us. I'm -glad- the net is around to allow us access to other lifestyles. (though that really isn't my favorite term)

I've known what I wanted...forever practically. Being able to find this on the net meant that I learned that I -wasn't- crazy, and that I -wasn't- the only person who did this or wanted the things that I wanted. It helped me accept that I wasn't as out there as I thought I was.

While I undertand the desire to "protect" us, I think that we don't need protection so much as accurate education. I don't think the 'wrong sort' are being attracted now any more than they were in the past, I simply think that there's a much much larger pool. For the sake of argument, let's say that 20% of people who come into BDSM are undesirable/abusers/whatever. I don't think that percentage has changed, it's just that 20% of 100000 is a whole lot more people than 20% of 5000.

Meh. I've weighed in on the "young people know nothing or are disprespecting our Lifestyle(tm)" too many times already. Y'all already know where I stand.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:00:21 AM

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2006
Status: offline

We want to know when the government is going to take our suggestion and change the "legal age" requirement into a test that has to be passed to acquire adult status. We know too many people who are 18+ and are not mature enough to be called adults, but we also know WAY too many 17- people who are. Why is it that laziness always leads to this crap? "Age is not an accomplishment, and youth is not a sin." -- Robert A. Heinlein

As for the popularity of BDSM, no, it is not too popular. It may be too immersed in the media and popular culture without explanation, but awareness does not equal popularity. Parents need to take interest in their kids, and that is really all there is to it. "Don 't blame me when little Eric jumps off of the terrace. You should have been watching him. Apparently you ain't parents." --Eminem Don't get us wrong, we're not saying that youth aren't being tainted. Hell, he got into the lifestyle when he was 14, two months after he was raped. She had similar experiences. So we know what the issue is, but they are not as connected as this question is implying.

_____________________________

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a girl who's to sad to give a fuck...
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
--Bright Eyes, Lover I Don't Have to Love

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:00:50 AM

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

I so agree juliaoceania. It always amazes me the people that obviously has nothing but time on their hands, so they read profile after profile, which is fine...but to take the time to send the person an email to critique? That's just going a little too far.

This is a free lifestyle...there is no right or wrong way to do anything. If you click with someone fine, if not, just move on...get a life

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:08:48 AM

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darq

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterandCommand

Who is the real predator? The young one that is not of legal age that uses fake ID's and is able to pass as a legal person to a Dominant? Or the Dominant that trusts in the honesty of women and accepts the fact that she is telling the truth that she is of legal age?

He is the one that goes to jail for statuatory rape while she is neve held responsible and goes onto the next sucker on her list...

I never used a fake ID ...

And the dominant that I spoke of who brags about his girl, also brags about her being under legal age and a virgin when he met her so its not like she pulled the wool over his eyes. I sincerely love it when the victim is accused of being the seducer and the predator is passed off as some poor trusting soul.

Please ...

I have to agree with darq here. I'm roughly the same age as M&C. If I needed to check a woman's ID to be sure she was of legal age, there's no way in hell I'd be getting involved with her sexually. If a 16 year old can "pull the wool" over the eyes of a 50 year old in order to "seduce" him, the 50 year old is either a predator who wants to be "fooled" or a moron.

(in reply to darq)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:25:49 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.

The simple facts are until she has established a trust with you and willingly submits. She is an equal and can demand whatever she wants because it is HER relationship she is seeking. If you don't like it, then obviously she is not for you. I know a female sub that chewed up and spit out many a Dom male that came her way. She knew what she wanted and wouldn't settle for less. Some were put off by this, oh well. Others were intrigued by her strength of character and wanted her as theirs. To win her they did agree to provide information, and showed her a great deal of respect in complying with her requests. Now she has found one that could be her One. He is in complete control now, and she wouldn't have it any other way. He was one that absolutely loved her demanding profile. So he wins. The ones that tried doming her without her submission, they are still looking. Something to consider...

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:26:30 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourbadgal

You worried about the young ones?
There are also BDSM pages for teenagers that don't have any porn on it, they are created for those with such "kinks" or however you want to call it and are too young for adult sites. Those pages help them to understand those things and give them the opportunity to make contacts with similar people of their age group and sometimes even organize things where they can meet. Damn, why am I talking in the plural? I know one site, I don't know if it's also available in English, but the one I know is www.smjg.org or something like that..
Thanks for reading.
Anne
(PS: I only read the first posts of this, so I dont know what the rest says; but the first ones were about the young ones being molested or whatever)

Very very cool, I am glad that there are websites with information for people not of legal age, on this stuff. That is what I meant by us older farts doing something to help those that are younger and want to learn more in a safer manner than some of the older ones perhaps had. Sponsering something like that is definately a way of "mentoring" that does not take advantage.

(in reply to yourbadgal)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:28:52 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

quote:

ORIGINAL: darq

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterandCommand

Who is the real predator? The young one that is not of legal age that uses fake ID's and is able to pass as a legal person to a Dominant? Or the Dominant that trusts in the honesty of women and accepts the fact that she is telling the truth that she is of legal age?

He is the one that goes to jail for statuatory rape while she is neve held responsible and goes onto the next sucker on her list...

I never used a fake ID ...

And the dominant that I spoke of who brags about his girl, also brags about her being under legal age and a virgin when he met her so its not like she pulled the wool over his eyes. I sincerely love it when the victim is accused of being the seducer and the predator is passed off as some poor trusting soul.

Please ...

I have to agree with darq here. I'm roughly the same age as M&C. If I needed to check a woman's ID to be sure she was of legal age, there's no way in hell I'd be getting involved with her sexually. If a 16 year old can "pull the wool" over the eyes of a 50 year old in order to "seduce" him, the 50 year old is either a predator who wants to be "fooled" or a moron.

Harry I could not have said it better!

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:32:05 AM

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

I just sent some advice to a young girl, who called her self a slave, about an inappropriate statement that she had put in her profile. This statement was in effect an order, not a request, to Dominants reading this supposed submissives profile.

The simple facts are until she has established a trust with you and willingly submits. She is an equal and can demand whatever she wants because it is HER relationship she is seeking. If you don't like it, then obviously she is not for you. I know a female sub that chewed up and spit out many a Dom male that came her way. She knew what she wanted and wouldn't settle for less. Some were put off by this, oh well. Others were intrigued by her strength of character and wanted her as theirs. To win her they did agree to provide information, and showed her a great deal of respect in complying with her requests. Now she has found one that could be her One. He is in complete control now, and she wouldn't have it any other way. He was one that absolutely loved her demanding profile. So he wins. The ones that tried doming her without her submission, they are still looking. Something to consider...

Good for your friend! Her dom doesn't happen to have a brother, does he?

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to TeeGO)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:50:26 AM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

May have been a rant : but a very valuable one

Not really. Just a guy who seems to think his orientation allows him to tell others how to act. Years ago, we called it Top's Disease.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Bugei)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 10:50:44 AM

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Very very cool, I am glad that there are websites with information for people not of legal age, on this stuff. That is what I meant by us older farts doing something to help those that are younger and want to learn more in a safer manner than some of the older ones perhaps had. Sponsering something like that is definately a way of "mentoring" that does not take advantage.

Respectfully, do you mean older as in age, or older as in amount of time (for lack of a better term at the moment) in the lifestyle.
I guess either way it does not matter, because in my opinion, age is not a definition of wisdom, responsibility, or experience.
I agree with the idea of information being out there for people not of legal age, I mean if someone is hell bent on learning about any particular subject that is not age appropriate for them (according to society, their parents...whatever), they will seek to find it. I personally feel the age of someone providing the information, or sponsoring it is quite irrelevant.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 11:15:42 AM

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bugei

May have been a rant : but a very valuable one

Not really. Just a guy who seems to think his orientation allows him to tell others how to act. Years ago, we called it Top's Disease.

~laughs~ When i was vanilla, i just called them f**ktards.

candystripper

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: Is BDSM to popular - 5/27/2006 11:29:26 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Very very cool, I am glad that there are websites with information for people not of legal age, on this stuff. That is what I meant by us older farts doing something to help those that are younger and want to learn more in a safer manner than some of the older ones perhaps had. Sponsering something like that is definately a way of "mentoring" that does not take advantage.

Respectfully, do you mean older as in age, or older as in amount of time (for lack of a better term at the moment) in the lifestyle.
I guess either way it does not matter, because in my opinion, age is not a definition of wisdom, responsibility, or experience.
I agree with the idea of information being out there for people not of legal age, I mean if someone is hell bent on learning about any particular subject that is not age appropriate for them (according to society, their parents...whatever), they will seek to find it. I personally feel the age of someone providing the information, or sponsoring it is quite irrelevant.

Smiling.....actually chuckling here at my own expense. You've got me on that one! You are correct I don't think that age in years is at all an indicator of wisdom and experience. In many ways I resemble the down side of that remark, being not really experienced as far as BDSM is concerned. I have seen quite a few that post in the forums that are young in years but seem to be very wise souls. One young lady in particular comes to mind and I am very sure her bullshit metre works VERY well and VERY quickly, I have alot of respect for her.
I also am very aware that the BDSM community is like the whole rest of the world, there are idiots and predators and victims all over the place. It's just the mom in me reacting to anything I ever see as being predatory. Its the same characteristic that leads me to always go to the shelter for pets rather than a pet store. I am always on a crusade to save someone or something, today just happened to be my "save the helpless BDSM newbies" day.
BUT, I am also the same one that after the helpless newbie has been given all the good guidance and all the wonderful information that if they still make really assine choices and get into trouble will say "well you stupid moron, what the hell did you expect?!?!" and tell them to get their head out of their ass, grow up, get over it and quit whining, and I would NOT keep bailing their ass out of the jams they got themselves into either. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves at some point.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/27/2006 11:37:43 AM >

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is BDSM to popular

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.281