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ORIGINAL: Fornica

fr
I want to read Blushes poem.

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

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ORIGINAL: tj444
personally, i dont find a double chin and a beer belly attractive at all..

.. I said imo you are emailing women that are out of your league & you should email women more in your league... i dont know how to make it any clearer than that.. Seriously, they arent even clicking on your emails for a reason (or several reasons)..

Thanks for providing a perfect example of what I'm talking about.  That post was nothing but mean. The type of high school style petty nastiness that's done just to amuse yourself.  You don't know who I contacted, you're just having fun being abusive.

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ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

I keep this one in my back pocket.

MESSAGE TO A FRIEND

You are what you think. Not what you think you are, just, what you think. That miraculous spark behind your eyes is very much more you than the whole of your body.

Sit. Close your eyes. Breathe. Observe.

If nothing you truly see, then watch for a while. Try to imagine nothing watching you, but don't try hard. Is there an end to it? Look to the edge of nothing. Look around.

This is where you are. You are the only one here. Look around long enough and you will learn to see what it is you are looking around ... with.

Amazing. To me. That each could be as I see myself, if I see clearly. But, then, the way I see it is just the way I see it, See?

So. What do you see?

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

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ORIGINAL: tj444
personally, i dont find a double chin and a beer belly attractive at all..

.. I said imo you are emailing women that are out of your league & you should email women more in your league... i dont know how to make it any clearer than that.. Seriously, they arent even clicking on your emails for a reason (or several reasons)..

Thanks for providing a perfect example of what I'm talking about.  That post was nothing but mean. The type of high school style petty nastiness that's done just to amuse yourself.  You don't know who I contacted, you're just having fun being abusive.

no, I was being honest as I have gotten emails from men like you that are overweight. You are competing with men that are in better shape than you.. You can lose the weight if you choose to, its up to you, not me. I did not post to you to be nasty or have fun or be abusive. I dont know how to sugar coat shit so if you want sugar coating then you have to get it from someone else.

If women arent clicking on your emails and deleting then its a pretty good guess you are emailing women out of your league..

You are the one posting about whats wrong... but then you dont like the answers..

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ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Fr

I can't believe I actually read six pages of this.

To the op- Yes, there is habit of 'beat on the new kid' it happens to everyone. I have come to believe that many here just want to test others to see if the person in question can stand up to some hard knocks(don't worry more than a few have, and still do, take their shots at me as well) If you really want them to know who you really are than just keep posting and they will figure it out. We will all figure it out.

About your journal....pfft people write things in moments of emotion that later they think the world should not have seen. Some go back and delete them. Some expect the world to understand that we all have emotional moments. Others(like me) really don't care. If it was what I was thinking at the time it stands if others don't like it than they need not read next time.

Having said that I do have to admit that the only thing you have said that bothers me is the bit about someone dieing in the next ten years. Though I can understand why you said what you did I would hate for someone to give up what might be an amazing realationship because they had a fear of being alone in the end. You never know after all you could meet that great lady that makes those kids you like and she could die in labor having one of them....your time with her will still have been an amazing thing(try not to rule people out because you never know what might happen to them in the future)

*oh* and I have to add this(because I'm just like that) You have been given some good advice, and I don't really want to see you get run off(it happens to often in my opinion) but if you really can not stand the way you are treated on the forums here ...there is a group on fetlife for survivors of the collarme forums.

Have a good day/night.

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The Japanese have an expression that expresses something similar... "a man is the room he is in". 

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

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ORIGINAL: tj444

no, I was being honest as I have gotten emails from men like you that are overweight. You are competing with men that are in better shape than you.. You can lose the weight if you choose to, its up to you, not me. I did not post to you to be nasty or have fun or be abusive. I dont know how to sugar coat shit so if you want sugar coating then you have to get it from someone else.

If women arent clicking on your emails and deleting then its a pretty good guess you are emailing women out of your league..

You are the one posting about whats wrong... but then you dont like the answers..

honesty and tact aren't mutually exclusive.  I've had people cook me meals that I didn't like, that doesn't mean I stood up and took a piss on the plate.  As to my weight, I'm 6' 227, no I don't have a swimmer's body but I'm also 45 not 18.  Since/during the divorce, I've lost about 30 pounds.  I'd like to have new pictures taken but the irony of being on your own is that you don't have anyone to take pictures of you.  Am I messaging women "out of my league"? Yeah, probably, I try not to. There's no point in me wasting my time if there isn't a real chance of them answering.  I do try to qualify whom I contact. Will I reach a little far on occasion? Maybe, if they have something in their profile that leads me to believe they might be interested.  Someone 25? generally no, if they have in their profile that they want a Daddy who's at least 40 and they love grey hair, yes I'd email them.  Hopefully, they don't judge only on looks, I don't. Contrary to what's been written, I actually like a full figured woman.  If I saw someone that was stunning but it was obvious that they were not compatible, no I wouldn't send them an email.

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

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ORIGINAL: tj444
personally, i dont find a double chin and a beer belly attractive at all..

.. I said imo you are emailing women that are out of your league & you should email women more in your league... i dont know how to make it any clearer than that.. Seriously, they arent even clicking on your emails for a reason (or several reasons)..

Thanks for providing a perfect example of what I'm talking about.  That post was nothing but mean. The type of high school style petty nastiness that's done just to amuse yourself.  You don't know who I contacted, you're just having fun being abusive.

no, I was being honest as I have gotten emails from men like you that are overweight. You are competing with men that are in better shape than you.. You can lose the weight if you choose to, its up to you, not me. I did not post to you to be nasty or have fun or be abusive. I dont know how to sugar coat shit so if you want sugar coating then you have to get it from someone else.

If women arent clicking on your emails and deleting then its a pretty good guess you are emailing women out of your league..

You are the one posting about whats wrong... but then you dont like the answers..

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
Eh...who cares? I didn't click on his pic, but from what I've seen, he's not a lot over weight. If he is, then the women who don't care for men who are bigger won't bother with him.
But what really is the point in picking out peoples' physical flaws?
Be kind to everyone, for you may be in their shoes whether you choose to be or not.
I just watched a show about a small child who doubled and then tripled her weight due to a condition she had. Would you say the same to her?

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ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

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The Japanese have an expression that expresses something similar... "a man is the room he is in". 

I feel sure that if you read it again, taking more than 2 1/2 minutes to click on the page, read the post, THINK about it, write a response and then post it, you might find something more there than an empty room.

But, hey, I was showing off for Blushes and Fornica.

So... what?
FF

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

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ORIGINAL: tj444

no, I was being honest as I have gotten emails from men like you that are overweight. You are competing with men that are in better shape than you.. You can lose the weight if you choose to, its up to you, not me. I did not post to you to be nasty or have fun or be abusive. I dont know how to sugar coat shit so if you want sugar coating then you have to get it from someone else.

If women arent clicking on your emails and deleting then its a pretty good guess you are emailing women out of your league..

You are the one posting about whats wrong... but then you dont like the answers..

honesty and tact aren't mutually exclusive.  I've had people cook me meals that I didn't like, that doesn't mean I stood up and took a piss on the plate.  As to my weight, I'm 6' 227, no I don't have a swimmer's body but I'm also 45 not 18.  Since/during the divorce, I've lost about 30 pounds.  I'd like to have new pictures taken but the irony of being on your own is that you don't have anyone to take pictures of you.  Am I messaging women "out of my league"? Yeah, probably, I try not to. There's no point in me wasting my time if there isn't a real chance of them answering.  I do try to qualify whom I contact. Will I reach a little far on occasion? Maybe, if they have something in their profile that leads me to believe they might be interested.  Someone 25? generally no, if they have in their profile that they want a Daddy who's at least 40 and they love grey hair, yes I'd email them.  Hopefully, they don't judge only on looks, I don't. Contrary to what's been written, I actually like a full figured woman.  If I saw someone that was stunning but it was obvious that they were not compatible, no I wouldn't send them an email.

this is the internet dude, things always come across harsher cuz its just one dimensional.. its pretty easy to say something and someone can read more into it than there was or take it in a way not intended...

A divorce doesnt mean you divorced your friends, does it? get a friend to take new pics.. If you want new pics then it should not be that hard.. you are a vp of a company, even if you paid someone a few bucks to do it, that should not break your budget... If there has been a big change in how you look then what do you have to lose? go get a pic taken on Santas lap.. get creative..

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven
I do. And I've thought about it. I don't know a lot of people in Dallas because I moved here 2 years ago for an intense training program and now I'm working a lot. When I'm not the people I know are working.  Yes, I need to get around to it. No I'm not making excuses, I'll get to it.  I've actually joined a gym and want to lose a few more before I pose, no sense in taking pics, losing more weight, then taking more pics

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ORIGINAL: Fornica

Will you write one for me?
<flutters eyelashes>

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ORIGINAL: Unshriven

I have to ask, I know CM has a lot of flakes but many of the emails I send get deleted unread or not looked at.  I'm starting to think I have electronic BO....I know there's going to be a fair amount of loss but when I send an message, I'm polite (not whimpy), I read their profiles and include something they've said so they know I'm not doing a cut and paste, I include a pic and I mention that I actually put an effort into my profile.  Now, granted, I'm not George Clooney but I don't think I'm fugly.  I've been in the life 20 years, ex-military, college educated, a vice president at a global company etc etc....it should say that at least I'm not a flake or a poser.  I swear, there could be a profile out there saying they only want a Dom from my city, my height, my experience and my age and the fucker would still get deleted....can someone take a look at my profile and let me know if I've got a booger hanging out of my nose I don't know about? Seriously, any constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Unshriven