Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus Page: <<   < prev  28 29 30 [31] 32   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 12/30/2011 6:46:43 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Good Christ Sam, your responses here shows just how out of touch you are with being raped.  Your comments simply flabbergast me in their ignorance. 

I laugh at the fact you think the first emotion you would have been raped is anger -- i highly doubt it, that you would RUN and DEMAND he be found and kick his ass blah blah blah.   The first thing the cops would do is take your happy ass to the hospital and have a RAPE KIT done, do you know what that entails?  It's a very invasive procedure wherein while you still can feel the asshole on you, in you, his breath all over you, as you desperately try and figure out what you could have done different to avoid it and you haven't been allowed to even shower but each minute you feel like you want to scrape your skin off you to get the feel of him off of you, that you want to scream as the memory and shock set in over and over in your mind as your mind tries to distance you from the mortifying examination is done, evidence collected from every orafice, your hair and body, pictures are taken so the aftermath of that rape -- you know may be shown to strangers who will judge you if the case goes to trial as well as the rapist himself.  That's not even half of it, if they haven't been questioning you, then you get to speak with the police -- again, while you still haven't been allowed to shower all of the time because they need to get this down.

You sure the fuck won't be thinking about everyone else and him doing this to EVERYONE else, during this time.  Sorry but the way you have posted in this thread -- yuor thoughts would never be about people you don't know, strangers you will never know.  And it's not always strangers but a person you may have to see every day even if he is arrested as trials don't happen that quickly.

You ask why people may not come forward -- because for many, if they have moved on, it is BETTER FOR THEM.  If they haven't moved on there is the OMG why didn't you come forward, and since they probably didn't get a rape kit and make a report -- their story will be suspect especially coming forward in a media frenzied story. 

Seriously before you start telling everyone about what YOU would do if you were raped, don't -- it just makes you sound ignorant.  YES, anger does come, but rarely is it during the time you are reviolated simply by going through the process of making the complaint and it sure the hell isn't when you are whipping yourself with self-incriminations wondering whatwill happen if you report it, as well as wondering if you should report it.

I would beg every woman out there to report being raped, but the reason is because i know how frustrating it is for police when they can't DO anything because someone WON'T make a report or testify or just wants it to be over.  I don't beg women too however, because i know that this process has to be something that heals them not makes them a victim all over again.  It's not up to me or anyone else to make that decision for them.  There is a whole bunch that is not being explained here.

So please before you start putting yourself in the shoes of rape victims, don't. 

Also, in the Army, are you fucking kidding me?  I am not even going to start on that one.

angel

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 601
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 12/30/2011 6:58:49 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I'd really like for some of the men who've experienced this, to let us know if they reported it and why or why not?
I suspect it's much more difficult for men, (and it's extremely difficult for women for so many reasons)
I don't think Sam understands that the physical assault is not the worst of the devastation rape can cause. It may be the easiest to get past.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 602
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 12/31/2011 3:04:45 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I don't expect to succeed, but I am going to take another stab at it. This time, like Sam, I'm going to work the problem from the wrong end.

http://www.straightstatistics.org/article/how-panic-over-rape-was-orchestrated

quote:

How the panic over rape was orchestrated

For years the Home Office and the former Lord Chancellor’s Department have misled the media about rape statistics – and allowed the media to misinform the public.

Anxiety has grown as a result of the apparent increase in rape offences and the inability to successfully prosecute offenders. Women have been needlessly alarmed for their safety, when the actual threat is much smaller than has been pretended.

Congratulations, therefore, to the Radio 4 programme More or Less and its reporter Ruth Alexander, who have put into the public domain what some advisers engaged by Whitehall committees have known for some time.

This official misinformation, one suspects, was a deliberate policy choice (beginning somewhere around 1988) to ensure that no matter what the cost, rape and sex crimes would climb remorselessly up the political agenda.

Since 1999 the Home Office has known that its methods for calculating rape convictions are wrong. The real conviction rate is not the publicly broadcast 10 per cent but closer to 50 per cent (it varies slightly from year to year). In a Minority Report (1) which I wrote for a Home Office committee in 2000 but which advisers refused to forward to ministers who were then actively considering new rape legislation, the HO were told that they were confusing ‘attrition’ rates with ‘conviction’ rates.

The attrition rate refers to the number of convictions secured compared with the number of that particular crime reported to the police (it must be noted that a crime that is ‘reported’ does not automatically imply that the crime actually took place). The conviction rate refers to the number of convictions secured against the number of persons brought to trial for that given offence.

Rape is the only crime judged by the attrition rate. All others – murder, assault, robbery, and so on – are assessed by their conviction rates. Why? The question is best addressed to Betty Moxon who, in 2000, was head of the Sex Offenders Review Team (SORT) for whom I wrote the minority report.


And it goes on. And it has graphs and charts and everything. It even has a juicy bit about women being paid to scream, "RAPE!". Have at it, Sam. Enjoy yourself. It will make you happier than a cat in a kids sandbox. I wouldn't want to deprive you, so please do not overlook that the name of the website is Straight Statistics. Dot ORG!, for crying out loud.

There you go Sam, everything you have been asking for, for weeks. Are you happy?

OK. Now let's look at the numbers.

In 1986 there were 569 rapes tried in England. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1987 there were 649. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1988 there were 799. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1989 there were 930. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1990 there were 914. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1991 there were 914. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1992 there were 933. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1993 there were 892. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1994 there were 940. Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1995 there were 1065 Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1996 there were 1107 Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1997 there were 1209 Do you believe that is how many rapes there were?
In 1998 the figure mysteriously vanishes, as if someone didn't think to write it down, but it is recorded that there was the highest number of convictions ever. 656. In all of England.

Is there any reason to be favorably impressed by any of these figures? Is there any reason an Englishwoman should look upon such and reflect with pride that because she lives in one of the most civilized nations on the face of the Earth she can trust her Government to protect her should everything go wrong? Anyone who thinks so had better take a closer look at these numbers, and here we go!

Between 1986 and 1998 the number of convictions increased from 415 to 656.
In the same time the number of trials increased from 649 to over 1200.
In the same time the number of REPORTS increased from 2250 to 6250

The difference between the estimated number of trails in 1998 and the number of convictions is called the conviction rate. 56%. Pretty nice if you ask the prosecutor. The difference , in 1998, between the estimated number of trails and the number of reports, 81%, is referred to as the credibility gap. These numbers are consistent with the erroneous statement that 4 out of 5 Women who report Rape are liars, and half the rest can't prove it. If you don't mind for good measure throwing on an ostensible figure of a 90% rate of failing to report then you are looking a 656 convictions against 62,500 rapes.

That is an approximately one percent conviction rate, once you have dispensed with the political hoop-jumping. These are the numbers a Lady must juggle in her head, at a time of stress and trauma, in addition to the dehumanizing and victimizing investigation CERTAIN to follow that phone call, and the social trauma CERTAIN to follow that, when she has to decide whether or not she is going to make an accusation. And this is not a decision that can be made at leisure. It must be made on the snap of a finger. Because any delay will obviate a conviction. Unless his name is Mike Tyson.

Is there any reason to wonder why so few Women step forward? Is there not more reason to wonder why a webpage purporting to debunk rape statistics cannot do better than to provide me the numbers I need to write this essay?


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 603
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/3/2012 8:03:00 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

This will seem insensitive. It's not meant to be. I simply don't have words that will convey a supportive hug or shoulder, and can't think of a more delicate way to put this.

When nobody comes forward, a problem remains. That cannot, will not, and probably should not change. Because changing the outcome without the sacrifice of coming forward would mean abandoning the assumption of innocence. In this context, it is also doubly troublesome how often this sort of thing is "resolved" with street justice, seeing as there's even less justice on the streets than in the courtroom.

I would likely be one of those who would be moved to act far outside the law if a woman close to me was raped, based on how I've dealt with a failed attempt in the past. But I'm also unpleasantly aware of the fact that there's a man in my town who is reduced to the mental state of a child from brain damage after a proven false claim (he was by surveillance footage shown to have been out of town for the duration of the whole weekend when the rape was claimed to have occured). False claims are rare, fortunately, but sadly not nonexistent. And as humans, we're woefully ill equipped to judge when people we care about are involved.

Coming forward is hell for a majority of the women who do it.

But, as with suffrage, it is by the will of forerunners to bear this burden that change becomes possible and benefits those who come after. Without the strength of those few to get the ball rolling, the situation remains as-is. That's what solidarity is all about: caring enough about the plight of others to stand with them despite the cost to oneself. It is rare, if even real, that a group is given power, freedom or justice. Given a voice. One must carve it out of the world for oneself and others, or it will not be had. There's never any shortage of hucksters who claim differently, but they fail to deliver. Reality is as cruel as the rapist itself: it doesn't give us a choice as to whether or not to face it. And the reality is that so long as the whole thing is kept quiet by the victims, it will stay the burden of past, present and future victims, regardless of the good intentions and efforts of others.

I would love to be able to solve the problem for women, but if I can, I don't see how.

No doubt, that is also the case for a lot of other men.

Health,
al-Aswad.

P.S.: The statistics up here have been interpreted to indicate about 10% choose to press charges now.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 604
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 9:40:28 AM   
samboct


Posts: 1817
Joined: 1/17/2007
Status: offline 		A friend of mine who is far more internet savvy than I, pointed out what may be the most parsimonious explanation for what's going on here- and one that makes a lot of sense. I thought about leaving this thread alone since it's been taxing- but it may also enable a few folks to sleep a little sounder- and perhaps get a rueful chuckle...

There's a generation gap here, and what we've all missed is that language evolves over time. My friend pointed out that in certain forums (no, I can't find a link, so I'm sure that some of you will go off shrieking that I'm just making this up.) that the word "rape" has replaced "doable". We've all heard the sports metaphors "We wuz raped.."- well, kids in an ever evolving world have come up with a new way to shock us oldsters- rape is now being used as "Would you like to have sex with this person?" I'll grant you, I have no plans to adopt this usage, but I'm old enough to be a parent to a college graduate.

Look at how the term "murder" has evolved over time. We often exclaim-"I'm so mad, I'd murder that SOB."- but it's not taken literally. Like the word "rape", "murder" was also used as a sports simile. It looks like the usage of the word "rape" has expanded as well.

This makes the most sense- an adolescent sends out an email using slang to another group of adolescents whom he thinks all know the same slang- and it gets intercepted, and spins rapidly out of control. This makes much more sense than a college kid admitting in an email about possible women he's intent on assaulting- something which would get him several years in prison, and the email would be exhibit A. There's also a blog from a high school teacher that shows how the word has evolved over time- surprised her as well. http://kittywampus.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/rape-as-slang/

Sam

< Message edited by samboct -- 1/6/2012 9:41:20 AM >

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 605
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 9:50:50 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		The N word has evolved over time - would a survey "Who's your favorite N" have been acceptable?

Additionally, this thread has not reached 31 pages due to the OP but because of your views on rape statistics.







< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/6/2012 9:52:10 AM >

(in reply to samboct)
Profile   Post #: 606
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 10:30:02 AM   
sexyjennifert


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline 		Samboct, I have no doubt you are correct (I don't have any college/high-school age children so I don't have a basis of knowledge to pull from) and that really saddens me.

What is really sad is that a word for a violent, brutal and ugly crime such as rape is being reduced in intensity to the same as "doing". It reflects a complete desensitization of a generation where violently attacking a woman in a way that will scar her for life (and, yes, the emotional and mental scars of rape NEVER fade away) is on the same level as having meaningless sex with her.

Taking everything you said at face value (and, as I said, I won't contradict how the word "rape" is used now), I do have to disagree with the comparison to the word "murder" or "kill". In the example you gave ("I'm so mad, I'd murder that SOB"), you are using murder in the violent sense. Now, it doesn't mean that you are seriously intending to follow through with it (that's why you can't be arrested of thinking of killing a person, you have to actually make an attempt before it becomes a crime) but you are using the normal definition of "murder" (i.e. ending a person's life). Thus, while you might not follow through with it, you are not diminishing the meaning of the word.

That's the sad difference from how you're saying kids are using the word "rape". In your example, when a kid says "I would love to rape her", he doesn't mean that he wants to have violent and nonconsensual sex with her. No, he just means that he wants to have sex with her. Thus, unlike your use of the word "murder", he is diminishing the word and equating it with something nonviolent.

That is the part that bothers me. Because, if we reduce the meaning of the word, we are subconsciously reducing the meaning of a crime. We are ignoring the damage done and the lifetime effect on the victim. Once that happens, we are all the worse for it.

(in reply to samboct)
Profile   Post #: 607
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 10:52:10 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Sam
This makes the most sense- an adolescent sends out an email using slang to another group of adolescents whom he thinks all know the same slang- and it gets intercepted, and spins rapidly out of control. This makes much more sense than a college kid admitting in an email about possible women he's intent on assaulting- something which would get him several years in prison, and the email would be exhibit A


What doesn't make sense with this assertion is that the guilty parties didn't make it.

http://kittywampus.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/rape-as-slang/

Point #2 : I just read the entire page at the link above. Nowhere on that page is it said by anyone the word rape is used in place of the word sex in any context.


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to sexyjennifert)
Profile   Post #: 608
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 10:58:57 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		31 pages...

If I posted a "Girls of CM - the "tap that ass" list" I bet you wouldn't think I wanted to "tap" (tap tap tap) the ass.  It's a hotty list for christ's sake. 

All this over a frat that posted an ill phrased hotty list?


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to sexyjennifert)
Profile   Post #: 609
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 11:03:59 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		All this over the fact that there are still men who take rape so lightly as to joke about it, and think it's ok for others to do so as well.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 610
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 11:08:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

31 pages...

If I posted a "Girls of CM - the "tap that ass" list" I bet you wouldn't think I wanted to "tap" (tap tap tap) the ass.  It's a hotty list for christ's sake. 

All this over a frat that posted an ill phrased hotty list?



Actually no. I think that aspect of this thread, is in truth, only a fraction of the whole. The bulk of this particular thread is due to one or two males that seem hell bent on arguing how serious an issue, rape itself, actually is. Or in their case, is not.

Not to mention, spinning like a drunken top over endless statistics.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 611
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 11:09:56 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		People on BDSM forums joke about slavery too.  Try that in a vanilla crowd.  It's a campus full of hormones...  just trying to put some real perspective on what seems like nothing more than an ill phrased hotty list. 

Should they boot the frat for being idiots ... sure.
Do I think there were 3000 potential rapists that published and voted on their intended victims...  no. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 612
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 11:12:49 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

31 pages...

If I posted a "Girls of CM - the "tap that ass" list" I bet you wouldn't think I wanted to "tap" (tap tap tap) the ass.  It's a hotty list for christ's sake. 

All this over a frat that posted an ill phrased hotty list?



Actually no. I think that aspect of this thread, is in truth, only a fraction of the whole. The bulk of this particular thread is due to one or two males that seem hell bent on arguing how serious an issue, rape itself, actually is. Or in their case, is not.

Not to mention, spinning like a drunken top over endless statistics.

Indeed.  I didn't read all 31 pages and thank you for the summary.



_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 613
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 11:43:05 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		RS.. darlin.. please read the thread. Seriously.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 614
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 12:29:16 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		I will share my personal story, in hopes it may shed some light upon this most delicate subject.

I was sexually abused in infancy, as well as during my pre and post teens. I learned very early it was dangerous to question authority, especially that of the male persuasion, and that during such (and other) experiences, the power differential was most definitely not in my favor.

While I have only body memories of the earliest violations, during the later ones, the immediate effect they had upon me was to literally launch my psyche into a most profound state of shock and paralysis. My involuntary response, mentally, emotionally, and physically, was to freeze like a deer in the headlights, and to remain that way for many decades.

In my 15th year, I was brutally beaten and raped, and while afterwards I did call for help from family after the fellow blacked out from a profound drunk (in fear of my life, as he threatened, with a knife at my throat, to kill me). Because of my past experiences, my mental and emotional state, the frozen psyche situation, and lack of communication skills (I had long since learned to remain silent about such things), I hadn't the awareness, maturity, skills or courage to say or do anything about it. Although I remember every moment of abuse, the only skill I developed was to disconnect/disassociate during such events, as they were so horrific.

When an authority figure violates the safety, sanctity, mind and body of another (especially a young 'un), it can be absolutely soul shattering. Any and/or all trust may be destroyed, for then, for a long time, or perhaps forever. The long term effects can be profound. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder commonly results. You are a walking wound, and the very earth, and all humans on it, become suspect, and unsafe. For years, I looked over my shoulder for my rapist, as his last words to me were, "If I can't have you, nobody will." I was/am a VERY sensitive soul, so those experiences darkened and changed me forever.

Without solace, validation, comfort or therapy, healing was unattainable, and I spent the next nearly 40 years in the hyper-vigilant state of many PTSD'ers. I psychically went to ground so deeply, I lived a life of isolation, was unable to develop normally, and did not get to partake in the most normal of experiences i.e., dating, social events, friendships, marriage, children, etc., that most other humans take for granted.

It is only now, at 55 years of age, upon entry into the BDSM scene, I am just beginning to learn, and gratefully so, it is OK and safe to be in my body, that not all touch (especially from men) is a threat or hurtful. The big difference is that as an adult, I now have the power to invite touch that is to my liking, and have some say and control over it, or to reject that which is not to my desire. As a child, or as a rape victim, I had none of those. My power and my rights were brutally stolen from me.

I both regret, and do not regret, such occurrences in my past. Much was stolen, much was denied me, and much was lost. But, and this is a very big but, however painful and lonely they, and the ensuing years were, they went far into making me into the person I am now, of whom I am very proud.

As a result, I have long since learned, the degree to which one can feel deep suffering is, in direct reciprocal proportion, the exact degree to which they can feel joy, pleasure and passion, and that is where I am now. I am no longer haunted by the past, but in a strange way am deeply grateful, for it has made it possible for me to appreciate the smallest kindness, and understand suffering in others.

I am at a wonderful time and place in my life, and dearly wish to make the most of it. The scales have been shed, and my heart, mind and body are finally awake, receptive and energized, and I passionately wish to reward it with all the pleasure, that heretofore, has been denied me.

How lucky am I? VERY lucky, I should say!

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/6/2012 1:27:18 PM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 615
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 12:35:22 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for sharing duskypearls.

(in reply to Duskypearls)
Profile   Post #: 616
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/6/2012 5:15:30 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		Dusky, thank you so much for showing us how many years it can take for recovery. For taking the time to put your thoughts into words and letting us in on what a living hell it must have been for you. And thank you for your courage in sharing. I know how hard that must have been for you, and I for one, say BRAVO!!

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 617
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/7/2012 8:13:29 AM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		You are welcome, ladies.

No, Tigger, the truth is it was not at all hard to share. Yes, it was a difficult, painful, confusing, and challenging 40 years, but let no one feel bad for one moment, or waste a drop of sympathy, for that was then, and not now, and I simply don't do sympathy, as it serves no one well.

We're all here to learn, and hopefully grow, from our own human experiences (painful or otherwise), and that of others, that we may become closer drawn to, and more intimate with others. Many of us share the same events and issues, differing only in degrees and timing. Some of us learn and heal faster or slower than others, as some have more or less support and/or opportunities than others.

My motive for sharing this part of my past is born only of a desire to expand upon the awareness of others, whom having lacked such experiences, cannot possibly in anyway be expected to understand the nature of them, or fathom the effect they may have upon the core of ones being. How could they know? Unless they have been in those shoes, however well intended, they simply cannot, as it is a world outside the realm of their experience. They can imagine, they can guess, but that is as far as they can go.

As much as we wish all others could fully empathize with us, and believe we are deserving of such, I feel we must be sensitive to those who cannot, or will not, for whatever reasons. Let us be gentle, gracious and genereous, and aware that their resistance to, or discomfort with the subject, is likely due to a lack of information/experiences, societal influence, a difference in outlooks, upbringing, perceptions, gender, hormones, etc., and is not something born of willfull ignorance or malice.

It is not uncommon for many men to have no framework or skills, with which to deal with or reconcile this sort of thing. They are not us, they are not women. They tend not to have the same kinds and degrees of mental, emotional, and physical sensitivities and vulnerabilities as we do. This does not make them bad, just less knowing in this regard. For example, I have never lost a limb, and no matter much I desire to, or how hard I try, there is simply no way I could ever understand the full impact it might have upon me and my life, as I have not walked in those shoes. I am sure there are a multitude of things men encounter, or suffer from, that in this lifetime, I (and other women) shall never be able to feel or understand to the degree and depth that they do, and I am sure, at times, that is most frustrating to them, for all that any of us ever really wants, is to be understood, respected, supported, and validated. Let us honor them where they are, be of a kind and forgiving heart, and not punish and alienate them for our wounds, the sins of others, or what we feel they may be lacking. If we have truly been successful in leaving the pain of our pasts behind us, it is not a difficult thing to do.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/7/2012 9:00:00 AM >

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)
Profile   Post #: 618
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/7/2012 8:54:07 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for sharing, Dusky.

And I agree, unless you have been raped, or have raped someone, its extremely difficult to speak of the personal.

~FR

If someone were to take the word "rape" and mean " to hit that", then were to be raped themselves... there would be no doubt in their minds as to the difference. Just because "kids" are using a term to mean something else doesnt change the meaning of the term, nor does it change the meaning for the past few centuries.

quote:

When nobody comes forward, a problem remains. That cannot, will not, and probably should not change. Because changing the outcome without the sacrifice of coming forward would mean abandoning the assumption of innocence. In this context, it is also doubly troublesome how often this sort of thing is "resolved" with street justice, seeing as there's even less justice on the streets than in the courtroom.


Aswad... when you take something so extremely personal as your body, and have to make a conscious decision to put it and the abuse it has taken on display, yes, many will not come forward to report it. When I was pregnant, by then ex slapped me. My brothers saw the bruise when I got home, knew where I had been, and paid him a visit. 4 big men against 1, the results were not pretty. Mike left the state shortly after that, moved to california. 3 years later, the woman he married there killed herself with a shot gun. I didnt ask why, all I could think was... "There but for the grace of god go I." You are assuming street justice doesnt work. It worked enough to get Mike completely out of my life. If I had taken Mike to court for assault, he would have been charged, possibly ended up on probation, been very angry at me, and attempted even more harm. It would not have protected his wife. It would only have made him angrier.

Most men on these boards would agree, a woman who has been hit, in a nonconsensual way, would react very similarly. Why would the rape of a woman be different? Women dont report for various reasons... the most common, shame.

quote:

you are using murder in the violent sense. Now, it doesn't mean that you are seriously intending to follow through with it (that's why you can't be arrested of thinking of killing a person, you have to actually make an attempt before it becomes a crime)


Jennifer, you dont need to make an attempt, you just need to have a plan in place. Murder for hire quickly comes to mind.

Another example...

http://www.krem.com/home/Teen-arrested-for-planning-school-shooting-charged-with-attempted-murder-86280297.html

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Duskypearls)
Profile   Post #: 619
RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus - 1/7/2012 2:51:47 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		This just came across my twitter, Rape More Common than Smoking in U.S.

http://www.significancemagazine.org/details/webexclusive/1424839/Rape-more-common-than-smoking-in-the-US.html

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 620
Page:   <<   < prev  28 29 30 [31] 32   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus Page: <<   < prev  28 29 30 [31] 32   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.477