RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mistress usually go?

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RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:57:50 PM

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carralo1

I never said I was sending hundreds of messages, that would be ridiculous. I have a life outside of this website. I have a solid platform of criteria in which I look for when searching for a female. This includes location, age, interests, if they seem genuine and nice, if I find them attractive and the overall vibe I get from reading their profile.
I know this is not a "dating site" like someone posted.. And I do get out from" begind my laptop so I don't know where that came from". I'm on here just trying to meet some local females that I seem fit to me.

You misunderstand, it's a n example of how sites like this work in comparison to getting out into the real world, IMO we as human analogue animals are more natural in our means of communicating face to face over a drink & candlelight for example than by converting qerty to zero's & one's via the internet.

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:59:08 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

We get a LOT of newbs coming here asking for advice, and they have similar...patterns of behavior. So, you can expect responses based on what we know already about new people here.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 12:59:28 PM

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I don't think your profile is all that good, but it doesn't look like a scammer's.

ok great now were getting somewhere. How is it not that good? What should I change? I was just trying to put what I like to do, where I'm from, a recent picture of me, and a little info . What else should i do
To make it better?
Thanks steve

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:01:33 PM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Fella, I'm a man, and I'm going to comment on your profile. Yeah, I know you asked for women, but I'll be damned if I'll have SRS just to comment.

"Hey everyone. im a 20 year old college student. I go back between Boston and Atlanta, so im available in both cities/states (Ma and GA)

Im a single white male. young athletic, good looking. looking for female dommes in the area to get to know. I would like to make friends on here who share the same interests as me. Chat for a while and then possibly in the future we could meet up and go from there.
Im a pretty normal guy who loves to fish, golf, be outside, hunt, go to the beach and hangout. my interests include many things, message me for more info"

Mostly good. Chatty and not run of the mill. That said, check on the spelling and typing (Yer a COLLEGE student!). And that last sentence is very deletable.

"no guys!! Im a STRAIGHT guy and no way looking for guys to mesage me only females.
Only been on here a couple weeks but it seems like there are a lot of fakes and guys posting as females. I'm a normal guy just lookin to meet some dominant woman. If your a guy posting as a female just trying to get some pics that's just disgusting. Please woman only. Also if I send a message it's because I have fully read your profile and would like to get to know you a little more. I only message local females who in te future i would consider meeting in real life. Not on here just to dirty type, I'm looking for friends and getting to know some people who share the same interests
also, if there are Doms in the area who need a sub for films i could possibly go on camera, but like i said just message me first

UPDATE: Currently in Boston until mid january then back to geogia"

The update is good, if misspelled and miscapitalized. Eliminate the rest.
"No guys" doesn't do anything. Anyone dumb enough to cmail a straight man won't read this. And I doubt that you are getting one cmail a week from men, so it just makes you look cranky.
Why do you think anyone wants to hear you complain about the people you don't like? Makes you sound like a whiner.
Don't suggest that you want to do films. If someone mentions it in their profile, go for it, but 99.99% of Dommes don't.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 12/21/2011 1:52:34 PM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:03:32 PM

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

We get a LOT of newbs coming here asking for advice, and they have similar...patterns of behavior. So, you can expect responses based on what we know already about new people here.

I understand completely cuz I love to work on cars and am on multiple forums always giving advice to young guys trying to fix something and yea they do have similar patterns and questions but I never use that stereotype against them. I always try to help
Them out as much as I can because I was in their shoes once and I know how it feels to get good advice, versus being brushed off and made feeling like some dumba** cuz I wasn't as knowledgable about how
An engine works as the replier

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:11:06 PM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Fetters, what in his profile reads like a scammer? I didn't see anything of the like.

Well, admittedly I am paranoid, but if you were a Dom on CM, you would be too.

I am very leery of short, well written profiles on very recent postings. Combine that with multiple locations and the obligatory bitching about fakes. Also the need to describe himself as good looking -- real good looking people rarely do -- especially when he has a photo. This would certainly be enough to raise my eyebrows. Add a bunch of scammer pals and I am gone.

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:20:47 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

Also the need to describe himself as good looking -- real good looking people rarely do --

edited out because I came to a conclusion much too quickly.
I probably deserve a spanking...or sumpin'

Nice way to get the ladies to read your whole profile!

< Message edited by poise -- 12/21/2011 1:29:10 PM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:23:56 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

Also the need to describe himself as good looking -- real good looking people rarely do --

So the very first paragraph of your profile, in bold no less, is a bit of truth stretching?

Aha! You got me there....that was your sense of humor.
Nice way to get the ladies to read your whole profile!

That first paragraph is echoed and completed further down his profile....it's a joke.

quote:

Actually, I don't mean to boast but I have the lean, muscular body of a thirty year old athlete. He was jogging on the sidewalk in front of my house and tripped over my walker -- I must have left it there when I was out chasing cars.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 12/21/2011 1:24:27 PM >

(in reply to poise)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:29:34 PM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

Steve,

I cannot tell you how important a good profile is, for that you will have to rely on the ladies. However, a good profile is certainly not going to do you any harm. There is no formula, but you want to come over as a person. The more real, warm and fuzzy you feel, the better anyone reading it is going to feel about you.

Personally, I would skip the list of what you don't want. The trolls cannot read. However, be as specific as you can about what you do want.

You want a lady. What age range? You look pretty fit. Would you want a Domme to be fit too. You are college educated (despite your spelling). Do you want her to be literate too? What do you want her to be into kink-wise. What do you want her to be into life-wise. Do you want play sessions or an LTR. Do you want RW, Online, Cyber or all of them. What would your ideal Domme be like. What is negotiable and what is a must. Potentially, you could spend 50+ years with the girl you meet here. Give it your best shot.

Ed

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:39:26 PM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Fetters, what in his profile reads like a scammer? I didn't see anything of the like.

Well, admittedly I am paranoid, but if you were a Dom on CM, you would be too.

I am very leery of short, well written profiles on very recent postings. Combine that with multiple locations and the obligatory bitching about fakes. Also the need to describe himself as good looking -- real good looking people rarely do -- especially when he has a photo. This would certainly be enough to raise my eyebrows. Add a bunch of scammer pals and I am gone.

LOL... IF I were a dom on CM... I would be paranoid too? If I were... if I truly were... DOM... lol

I feel no need to be paranoid and being paranoid has nothing to do with being on this site or being dom. (My opinion... my domly one. lol)

In profiles and other things, I have said I am an attractive woman in some manner. I don't see that as a problem. I don't go with a person saying they are honest not being honest. I see it as a mistake around people that think that way because you are going to get your ass kicked. So the attractive thing, could play out the same and I may be in a minority. I simply don't think any way you look at it... it spells scammer.

I consider a number of things in evaluating a person, profile or situation. I looked at his age... I looked at his being new apparently to the online networking of the kinky and as a young man that is trying to get his feet wet. I saw no real insincerity. Maybe a little lost and ready for some online lessons in what he is entering but nothing so out of line that anyone should be overly concerned. He's done a lot better than most his age that come in with a bang. Nothing a bit of guidance wouldn't resolve.

I also take into consideration that a lot of people are coming in straight from myspace or facebook or networking sites where it helps to have as many friends as you can to impress or be somebody. Not that many older folks don't do the same thing.

Give him a chance before you go all paranoid on his ass... or go paranoid if you want... I think I might like to befriend the young one. lol (Oh god... did I just enter cougar stage? hehe)

< Message edited by Lockit -- 12/21/2011 1:48:25 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:40:38 PM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
So the very first paragraph of your profile, in bold no less, is a bit of truth stretching?

Aha! You got me there....that was your sense of humor.
Nice way to get the ladies to read your whole profile!

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
That first paragraph is echoed and completed further down his profile....it's a joke.

Yes, it's a joke.

Anyone who has to deal with me on a daily basis is going to have to cope with my outrageous sense of humor. I do my best to get that across in my profile. I have no idea whether is is a good profile or a bad one, but I feel fairly sure that anyone who reads it knows that there is a real live person behind it.

Ed

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to searching4mysir)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:42:49 PM

Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carralo1
I'm just simply curious as to how a normal mistress usually converses in her messages.

Usually, I'll end up in back and forth messages that are very large encompassing a great many subjects. Then go into more fluid forms of communication. Of the people that's happened with, I met three of them although not all of them were with the intent to met and/or form relationship to begin with (sometimes it's nice to just exchange ideas). Two of them turned into very serious relationships. The one time I got into a serious relationship that wasn't from a massive exchange of ideas was from a munch I was going to. I might be weird in regards to finding/meeting people though. In short, if they can hold a lengthy conversation without it turning into a cybering session there's a fair chance they're real (maybe).

It's been pretty rare that I've just casually met someone so I can't really help much in that regard; usually, they'll just ask to met somewhere after a few messages. You can also try to go out into the real world community. The people there will likely be real or androids... got to watch out for those sneaky androids.

_____________________________

"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:46:00 PM

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Hi Steve,

Get rid of this - the dudes won't care and you'll annoy your target audience:

quote:

no guys!! Im a STRAIGHT guy and no way looking for guys to mesage me only females.

Only been on here a couple weeks but it seems like there are a lot of fakes and guys posting as females. I'm a normal guy just lookin to meet some dominant woman. If your a guy posting as a female just trying to get some pics that's just disgusting. Please woman only

If you send me a sample of your first email to a Domme I will be happy to critique it.

Best,

KK

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:48:44 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Spelling counts, Steve. Especially if you are a college student! So take the time to proof and use the spellcheck you would not believe how cranky we are about that stuff!

If you don't want mail from men, click on MAIL CONTROLS and you can adjust what mail goes into your bulk mail box. So, no letters from other countries, dudes, old broads like me, whatever you want to set up. You don't ever have to check the bulk mail.

If you are mostly in one place, focus on that one place. Both Boston and Atlanta have active bdsm scenes. No whining, complaining about FAKES, findoms, or the price of coffee at Starbucks. Just avoid negative commentary altogether. Say positive things about what you like and what you enjoy. What made you interested in femdom in the first place? Do you have any experience? Be HONEST. If you are just looking to mess around BE HONEST. No one is going to fault you for saying what you want up front.

What are you looking for in a femdom? Please avoid the physical characteristics, and the "no fatties" kind of commentary STAY POSITIVE and talk about what you LIKE.

The picture of you and the fish is good, I like fish! Smile pretty, and act like someone a person would want to be seen with in public. Talk about what things you do, even what you are studying in school, you can be discreet about which school, but remember that this is your first shot at making any kind of impression at all.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:48:47 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Steve, to answer your original question, "How does a conversation go with a Mistress". Here's a paraphrased conversation from a man who is now my partner.

Hi MistressDarkArt,

Oops, I didn't mean to call you "mistress". My name is (real name). You ask "why submission?" Submission is what makes me feel comfortable. I have to lead in my job to make a living but what makes me happy is pleasing and being controlled. I can't explain where these feelings come from but it is hard wired and goes back to puberty. I am a (profession). I do contract work and my last contract just finished. I am taking my time looking for my next gig. I have saved my money and there is no rush. I would love to meet you and if allowed, I would take great care of your feet! I can come to you anytime if you would like to meet.

(signed, his real name)

My reply:
Thanks for writing. Stand by, let me have a look at your profile. Hmmm, I see you don't live in (my city) but we sure have a lot of other things in common. Would you send me a face pic? (he does, and I like how he looks). Thanks, you're very appealing! So because I live here and you live (there), would this even be practical? Are you available and willing to travel here on a regular basis? (He was, and had friends in my area he could visit so I could meet him with no pressure.) OK, I'd like to talk with you by phone, are you willing to send me your number? (We talked that day and it was a great conversation.) We met within the next few days and discovered we really liked each other in person too.

So...basically, same as any meeting off a vanilla site: we had practicality, commonalities, and found each other appealing. Definitely not rocket science.

Hope this helps.

(in reply to Carralo1)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 1:52:08 PM

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Give him a chance before you go all paranoid on his ass... or go paranoid if you want... I think I might like to befriend the young one. lol (Oh god... did I just enter cougar stage? hehe)

I bow to your superior knowledge. I rarely read male profiles. I do totally understand how he got those friends. I had to delete my first few friends too.

As for cougars, there are two types of people on this site: ones that admit that in the right circumstances, they would consider messing with folks half their age, and ones that lie.

Ed

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 2:00:09 PM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Give him a chance before you go all paranoid on his ass... or go paranoid if you want... I think I might like to befriend the young one. lol (Oh god... did I just enter cougar stage? hehe)

I bow to your superior knowledge. I rarely read male profiles. I do totally understand how he got those friends. I had to delete my first few friends too.

As for cougars, there are two types of people on this site: ones that admit that in the right circumstances, they would consider messing with folks half their age, and ones that lie.

Ed

ROFL! That was sincere... not one of those sarcastic ROFL's! Have no fear... I have always said and I will always say... I can't do anyone I could of birthed... I am now 54, gave birth as an adult... you do the math. I can still befriend a young one and joke about it though! lol

While you are bowing to my superior knowledge... could you tie my shoe... my back hurts a bit today and it would be a big help!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Fetters4U)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 2:09:40 PM

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

To the OP. Nice striper.

thanks man!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 2:11:47 PM

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Fella, I'm a man, and I'm going to comment on your profile. Yeah, I know you asked for women, but I'll be damned if I'll have SRS just to comment.

"Hey everyone. im a 20 year old college student. I go back between Boston and Atlanta, so im available in both cities/states (Ma and GA)

Im a single white male. young athletic, good looking. looking for female dommes in the area to get to know. I would like to make friends on here who share the same interests as me. Chat for a while and then possibly in the future we could meet up and go from there.
Im a pretty normal guy who loves to fish, golf, be outside, hunt, go to the beach and hangout. my interests include many things, message me for more info"

Mostly good. Chatty and not run of the mill. That said, check on the spelling and typing (Yer a COLLEGE student!). And that last sentence is very deletable.

"no guys!! Im a STRAIGHT guy and no way looking for guys to mesage me only females.
Only been on here a couple weeks but it seems like there are a lot of fakes and guys posting as females. I'm a normal guy just lookin to meet some dominant woman. If your a guy posting as a female just trying to get some pics that's just disgusting. Please woman only. Also if I send a message it's because I have fully read your profile and would like to get to know you a little more. I only message local females who in te future i would consider meeting in real life. Not on here just to dirty type, I'm looking for friends and getting to know some people who share the same interests
also, if there are Doms in the area who need a sub for films i could possibly go on camera, but like i said just message me first

UPDATE: Currently in Boston until mid january then back to geogia"

The update is good, if misspelled and miscapitalized. Eliminate the rest.
"No guys" doesn't do anything. Anyone dumb enough to cmail a straight man won't read this. And I doubt that you are getting one cmail a week from men, so it just makes you look cranky.
Why do you think anyone wants to hear you complain about the people you don't like? Makes you sound like a whiner.
Don't suggest that you want to do films. If someone mentions it in their profile, go for it, but 99.99% of Dommes don't.

hey man thanks for the great advice. I apologize for my previous post i was just frustrated that all. Im finally home on my lapto and can reread everything and rearrangage/edit my profile. I really appreciate the help. Sorry again

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Tired of fakes! How does Messaging with a normal mi... - 12/21/2011 2:19:02 PM

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fetters4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Fetters, what in his profile reads like a scammer? I didn't see anything of the like.

Well, admittedly I am paranoid, but if you were a Dom on CM, you would be too.

I am very leery of short, well written profiles on very recent postings. Combine that with multiple locations and the obligatory bitching about fakes. Also the need to describe himself as good looking -- real good looking people rarely do -- especially when he has a photo. This would certainly be enough to raise my eyebrows. Add a bunch of scammer pals and I am gone.

Ya i hear ya, i think everyone on here may be a little paranoid seeing your talking to people you dont know. But i guess ive never really looked at my profile in detail skeptically so i guess i can see where your coming from. I put two locations beacuse im a college student obviously, and spend half the year in both places. The good looking was put in when i first wrote my profile and didnt have a picture, i will definantely delete that, sounds arrogant and im not at all. And i guess i used the friends thing in the wrong way, i thought you were supposed to friend people on here so they could see your profile but now that ive been on for a little while i see what its really for. I really appreciate the help

(in reply to Fetters4U)

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