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Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 2:33:38 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		(As long as you suit the standard.)

I figure as long as I'm digging My grave, I'm going to say a word or two about Introductions before I go.  Yeah, I know.  What I'm going to say here isn't going to win Me any popularity votes.  In fact, I am predicting one of two possible outcomes.  One is that this thread is going to fall into obscurity.  In a day or two, it won't even show up on the front page.  I really did consider this when creating it, and was tempted to put it in the wrong section.  (Intros or General.)  I came to the conclusion that I don't want to stoop to those levels.

The other is that this thread will generate some traffic.  The old adage of "if the shoe fits" might just apply here.  Don't blame the person who holds up the mirror and shows you the reflection of yourself.  To borrow from Dickens, "that the visions are what they are, do not blame Me".  I'm only the messenger. 

I'm sure I'm boring you to death, so I had better get to the point.  A friend (and, yes, I am embarrassing him now, because I really do consider him a friend) sent Me a message on chat just a few days ago.  He asked Me if I would come and say a few words on a couple of threads, and I was more than willing to do that, if for no other reason than he asked for a favor.

During the course of this, I had the opportunity to read some Introductions threads.  In doing so, I kind of stopped in My tracks.  In My stun and awe, I keep coming back to the question of, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Fucking bullshit about a favorite ice cream flavor and half a dozen ways about how the "discussion" side of CM doesn't suit the members here if that so called "discussion" has to do with kink?  If people wanted to talk about freaking bingo, they would go somewhere else.  Exactly when did you decide that a person's introduction has to conform to your preferences?

This site, really IS a kink site.  I don't give a crap if you are here because you have decided that it is a dating site and that means that everybody had better tailor their profile end every thread to suit you.  Shit, why don't you say that tops and bottoms aren't welcome here?  Grab your package because your nutsack is feeling a bit empty?

Don't be fooled.  I really am still here.  Your bloated fucking ego and supposed popularity that allows you to belittle folks just coming into this doesn't wash with Me.  I have watched you play mean girls club in intros, but I'm here to tell you..... no fucking more.

I'm here... Still.  Every time you decide that you will ostracize someone because they don't suit you, I will still be here.  Every.  Single. Time!  The fucking mean girls shit stops now.

THIS IS A KINK SITE!!!



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 2:42:27 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*blink*

ok, LadyP.. for the most part I agree. But INTRODUCTIONS, to me, should be an introduction. Posting what basically amounts to a 'kink wanted' statement (and in most cases is simply a C&P of their profile) gets fucking annoying. What is even MORE annoying is when those same people come back and bitch because they can't seem to generate any interest from *ahem* "real" people.

I think the admonition to talk about ice cream or whatever is an attempt to get them to talk about tehmselves as a PERSON, and not just as a kink outlet/delivery system.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 2:54:36 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		LP I adore you.

I have often wondered why people get jumped on when they come to the threads and talk about their kinks.

If I want to suck a dick while watching porn and listening to Sinatra, as the burlap of my homemade underwear scratch my ladybits raw, where would I go to let folks know about that?  Facebook? Match.com?

I have made snarky remarks my self, that I admit, but, I honestly think it is the main hobby of a few here.

Grabs a spoon to help LP dig that grave.


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 3:39:16 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		LadyPact,

I understand the point GT is making... and while it isn't wrong to want to know all of a person (the whole of a person is what makes a person interesting) you are right.

This is a kink site.
And quite often people for whom their kink is very important to them are not exactly made to feel welcome.

I think too often we forget that while this may be the 362 post this week that mentions figging while riding a unicycle and playing the ukulele for us, it is the first time likely for them and people kind of expect to come here and find acceptance and instead often feel ridiculed and must wonder who do you have to know around here to learn the secret handshake.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:16:44 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Oh.
I wondered where all those reported posts came from.
:)

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:24:43 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Question though, because I'm curious...so being a kink site, does that mean anything goes? Just pull your pants down and shit all over the place and everyone will clap and say "good work!"? Or is there a social standard at all? I realize this is subjective.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:28:58 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Exactly when did you decide the responses have to?
Point being, we all have our standards, right?
Mine are that when you walk in a room, or a forum, to the introduction section...maybe take the time to..introduce yourself.
Sorry, but if you introduce yourself by saying " iam male 30 want mistress strapon cock my sexing now", I'm going to treat you like the imbecile that you're representing yourself as.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Exactly when did you decide that a person's introduction has to conform to your preferences?







< Message edited by Fornica -- 1/13/2012 6:31:53 AM >

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:36:26 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		LadyPact, the same people that flock to the "golden newbies" do it over and over again. Remember the fanatics over the Canadian quartet, and  people changing their taglines and whatnot to reflect their undying devotion to them? Then a while back in the intro section we had an embarrassing display of a dozen or so women fighting over some "werebeastie" character and getting all pissy with me for not fainting with desire and falling into place over him. I found him here for one reason, to gain groupies and it worked like a charm. I do believe he is now gone as well. They come and go, and the same people, always, seem to start in introductions, and the monotony and banality of the responses of the regulars are so predictable.


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:38:04 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		FR

LP, I hadn't answered your email because I wanted to think on it a bit. Instead I'll just reply here.

I see CollarChat and CollarMe as two distinct entities. The fact that I can access one (collarchat) at the library but not the other reiterates that, as does the fact that they supposedly have two different moderation teams and if I delete my profile on the other side my posts don't disappear here.

On CM, where the profiles are, the profiles are a reflection of who you are and what you seek (i.e., about the roles), but over here on CC, I see it as a humanizing force where which side of the slash you land on is irrelevant because we are all people (i.e., I'm not expected to kneel at a strangers feet just cause he calls himself URLordNMaster_NowSukMyCok). As DarkSteven once said, we don't roleplay here, we just have conversations. Over here is where you see how your kink can be lived...it's like a specialized bar but for kinksters in general. There is a certain level of civility that one should expect from introductions. If you come into a new place waving your dick around to strangers, you shouldn't be surprised if you are treated like a dick, after all you have just told everyone that you are all about your cock and that it rules you.


< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 1/13/2012 6:39:18 AM >

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 6:40:18 AM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		But is 'Hi Iam... & I want a Domme to do me up the dirtbox tight now.' part of the discussion format. To my mind that shizzle is for the other side.

Everyone gets a rollercoaster ride upon first introduction, it kinda makes you man up.

The point you raise does have merit, however in the main the spleen is vented in the right direction. That's my opinion btw.

Oh & I still think you are cute :-)

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:07:24 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I love your post, LP.

I hardly go to the Introductions section, but I just perused through it.  Some of the snark in there was eye opening.  You know, I just figure when someone posts a "Hi I'm looking for" intro, they just haven't gotten a feel for the message boards yet, but I'm not sure why being an asshole to them when letting them know what we usually talk about here is OK.  So it gets annoying.  So don't read it.  You can hover over thread topics and see the first line or two without actually opening the thread. If it doesn't suit you, move on.

I kinda figure if people don't get much response with that kind of intro, that will send a message enough.  Maybe the solution is to have a "Read This First" kind of thread at the top of the Intro section, to let people know some basic guidelines.

As for kink, well yeah.  We used to talk about kink more than we do now....maybe that's just an ebb & flow thing.

In any case, I respect you for putting it out there.  I've never been much of a fan of snark.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:10:32 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Question though, because I'm curious...so being a kink site, does that mean anything goes? Just pull your pants down and shit all over the place and everyone will clap and say "good work!"? Or is there a social standard at all? I realize this is subjective.


I've never seen an "anything goes" environment around here.  But there was a time when kink and sex were talked about rather openly, and in detail.  Those things that were, um, less popular (scat play, etc) either got less attention or got some "ew's" and didn't last long.  So yeah, I'd say there was a social standard.  It just didn't require taunting and snark to get there.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:13:22 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica
Sorry, but if you introduce yourself by saying " iam male 30 want mistress strapon cock my sexing now", I'm going to treat you like the imbecile that you're representing yourself as.



Which, of course is your right - to decide if you want to be the kind of person who treats people like imbeciles or not.  We all have those choices.  Those who do NOT wish to treat people like imbeciles are also free to comment about the behavior of those who do.

As you've said, we all have our standards.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:16:41 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		I wouldn't walk up to a stranger and say "im your slave plese fuck my mouth with a dirty pepperoni stick".
But in context of a conversation, I would discuss my kink.
*shrug*

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:22:43 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		FR

I see a vast difference between saying "Hi, I'm ShitSlave and I enjoy being a human toilet, but I'm also a successful CPA who strives to keep fit (for those odd queening sessions). I'm open to either long or short term situations." and "Drop your drawers and shit in my mouth mistress as you smother me, I love to be a human toilet".

Both discuss the same kinks but in vastly different ways.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:25:02 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Exactly when did you decide the responses have to?
Point being, we all have our standards, right?
Mine are that when you walk in a room, or a forum, to the introduction section...maybe take the time to..introduce yourself.
Sorry, but if you introduce yourself by saying " iam male 30 want mistress strapon cock my sexing now", I'm going to treat you like the imbecile that you're representing yourself as.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Exactly when did you decide that a person's introduction has to conform to your preferences?








You can choose to do that, or you can choose to lay the snark aside which (in my experience) benefits no one and abide by "If you haven't anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
You can choose to be compassionate.
You can choose to be snarky.

One may be more entertaining to read, the other doesn't bring the forum down to the lowest common denominator.

I can be snarky.
Usually it is reserved for threads in which the OP is very unkind, but not always.
And when I cross the other line I usually apologise if my version of snark was even noticed (which it often isn't).


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:28:31 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		As I have read time and time again, Introductions are not a place to be putting down someone.  You might not like the introduction.  You might not agree with it.  However, the rule has always been that if you have nothing nice to say it is better to say nothing at all.  It is that person's introduction even if it says nothing about them except what they seek kinkwise.  Once I neglected this rule and it was pointed out to me by one of the Mods.  Since then I make sure any criticism is constructive and helpful to the OP.  Sometimes it is not what you say, it is how you say it. 

I have been wondering about many of the comments I have been reading in Introductions.  The surprise is that the Mods have allowed these comments to continue and they are not removed.  (shrugs)  Over the years I have seen guidelines change around here so am not surprised when something that was once forbidden is now allowed. 

So yes, LP, I have seen what you have seen.  However, people come and people go on this site.  Heck, I have been around here for 7 years.  In a few months the posters will most likely be a different group. 

Let me add one last item to this.  At the same time critical posts are being left in Introductions, professional ads are also being allowed to remain there instead of being removed to the Professional Services forum.  So it seems that there are new Mods with new ideas on what is suitable or not suitable. 

I just go with the flow. 


< Message edited by peppermint -- 1/13/2012 8:42:45 AM >

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 8:51:42 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

FR

I see a vast difference between saying "Hi, I'm ShitSlave and I enjoy being a human toilet, but I'm also a successful CPA who strives to keep fit (for those odd queening sessions). I'm open to either long or short term situations." and "Drop your drawers and shit in my mouth mistress as you smother me, I love to be a human toilet".

Both discuss the same kinks but in vastly different ways.



Pretty much. I don't go to intros much, and when I do... well, I admit it's a mixed bag depending on my mood. We ARE kind and welcoming to the ones who appear to be actual human beings. Really we are.

The ones who are here to get their hot action as if this place was a chat room (I want a domme NOW!) get kicked where it counts.

I do miss Holly's role as Greeter. Perhaps there should be one, to police the introductions area. Who'll volunteer?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 9:01:00 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Hi I'm chia*, and I like pepperoni.

What?

chia* (the pet)


_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Welcome to Collar Me - 1/13/2012 9:21:25 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		I dunno. When someone posts as their intro that they are looking for someone to pay for their sex change, and then keep them caged 24/7 as a toilet slave, and then they sweeten the pot even more by posting a picture of their cock, it is hard not to be snarky. Still, I posted a snarky remark to just such a post the other day, and ended up feeling kind of bad about it. I know I am a better person than that. Thanks for the reminder LP. It really is better to say nothing than to say something unnecessarily cruel.

One other thing that is true is that we really don't talk about sex much. I started a pussy eating thread that was practically DOA. I find that surprising, for a kink board. One thing about the fearsome foursome, they did inject some sex talk into things, even sometimes in threads that had nothing to do with sex.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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