RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (Full Version)

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tj444 -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:11:35 AM)

I am amazed at some of the shite some so called Doms come up with... [sm=rofl.gif]

imo, the dude has been reading too many bdsm version Harliquin romance novels and thinking thats real life..



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:16:16 AM)

Having not read the other replies yet, My first reaction was:
"Does this douchebag now want you to sew a scarlet 'A' onto your clothes so everyone henceforth shall know what a foul creature you are?"

Please, the nameless person sounds medieval. God forbid you PLAY BEFORE COLLARING, it's like sex before marriage, except last I checked there was no international religion based on how God wants us to practice BDSM.

Dust the comment off and don't waste another moment thinking about it.



Lucylastic -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:22:55 AM)

Id just flash him MY taint and tell him to get over himself.
What a maroon
Good luck in your journey, Life is to be lived...AND enjoyed
Only take the put down if thats your thing
otherwise, ignore and carry on with what YOU wanna do



lizi -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:23:11 AM)

FR:

After seeing some of the other replies I wanted to add that I do think it's important to be judicial in selecting what you want to experience. I see nothing wrong with however people do things, I myself tend to hold out for relationships. I did have a couple of times when I threw caution to the winds early when I found BDSM. While I'm not happy about being kind of stupid, I'm not sad about the experience I gained from it.

No one can tell you what the right thing is for you. Pay attention to what floats  your boat and how you want to conduct yourself and listen to that, not what someone else thinks is right.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:25:25 AM)

I have been with woman who had 100s of partners and as KoM stated, if we cant discover new things we should hang our spurs. A talented dominant should be able to grab you and kiss you in a way it feels like you have NEVER been kissed before and an amazing one will ruin you for all other men.



CeriseNin -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:35:06 AM)

~FR~

I only play inside a relationship, but if some idiot suggested I wait for my Dream Dom™, I'd be too busy laughing to explain that, or even want to explain myself to the Douche Dom.

No pearls before swine.
:p



crazyml -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 10:41:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Id giggle, then id fall over laughing, and tell him to kindly to go fuck himself.... Im not tainted because ive enjoyed experiences, if anything my partner should be happy i have because i can clearly say to him Yes Sir, i do adore needles, or No im sure ill never like diapers...





Kerbingo!



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 11:03:37 AM)

Ever heard the phrase 'till hell freezes over'?
Dig your kicks while you can still wield a shovel.



fucktoyprincess -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 11:31:19 AM)

I agree with those who say this is a personal decision for you to make. What would make you happy? I know women in the vanilla world who wanted to save themselves for their husbands, and they are entitled to their own decision about their bodies. My feminism means nothing if I can't support the different choices that women might choose to make for themselves.

With that said, I also agree with those who say that your friend is being judgmental, in the most chauvinistic of ways. I detest these types of double standards that continue to exist even in 2012.

Please do what YOU feel comfortable doing. Understand that some people in this world feel it is their prerogative to judge others, but don't let their judgments get to you one way or the other. Understand that every choice we make in our lives will make us more attractive to some, and less attractive to others. BE YOURSELF.



Lucylastic -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 11:46:27 AM)

quote:

My feminism means nothing if I can't support the different choices that women might choose to make for themselves.

I think I adore you!!!!!



xXLithiumXx -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 11:54:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have been with woman who had 100s of partners and as KoM stated, if we cant discover new things we should hang our spurs. A talented dominant should be able to grab you and kiss you in a way it feels like you have NEVER been kissed before and an amazing one will ruin you for all other men.



^^ This.

Plus. who is this Mojo jojo guy to tell you that you are tainted?

Is he mad because you didn't play with him first?

Or is he one of those delusional people that think every woman he has slept with was a virgin before he met them?

Fact is, you had a blast, and you gained some valuable insight into what you want and who you are and how you feel. No one should have a chance to take that away from you. No one should rain on your parade for that.



xXLithiumXx -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 11:58:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

quote:

My feminism means nothing if I can't support the different choices that women might choose to make for themselves.

I think I adore you!!!!!




Agreed!

This is -your- choice. Revel in it.




mummyman321 -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 12:00:20 PM)

There is no SAVING this soul! [sm=evil.gif]



Lockit -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 12:29:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

If your dream dom is going to be insulted that you had experiences prior to
him entering your life, then he negates his qualifier as a dream dom.


Exactly.

I would consider this man to be a very anal, insecure, bravado dude that is projecting his example of what a woman should be and explaining who he is in the process. A lady and a whore. A lady outside the bed and the perfect little whore in bed, that has saved herself for the hero type man that doesn't exist any more than the perfect little lady, untainted in all her ways. I am sure he could define in great detail exactly what makes him this dream dom... but knowing myself as I do, I could poke holes all over that premise, because it is a premise unless he is actually the real deal and he couldn't be saying what he did if he was the real deal. The real deal equals a man secure in most all his ways, that has lived up to his dreamy status with a very realistic base. Expecting a woman to be the sheltered, protected, innocent... able to be fooled by the projection of the male hero type, ignorant to what men can be... (or mankind so that I am not offensive only to men here lol) has the romantic ideal, that pretty much amounts to delusion.

We are simply human beings, flawed and faulty, that have refined ourselves to make life and self work and we want to fuck one another, compare notes and share ourselves with others that are flawed and faulty, that have refined themselves. I doubt there is any one way... but anyone that talks of the one way... which amounts to women being placed in a position of being innocent and stupid so that they fall for some mans shit, isn't reality based. [:D] (That works the other way around too! [:D])

Having experience doesn't mean you lack great human qualities. It may mean you actually have proven the need for them and have refined them in a practical life application manner. [:D]



JanahX -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 12:38:39 PM)

Absolutely!! You should never be with anyone ever again EXCEPT your dream dom. Go zip up your pants now!! He will be the only one forever .. and ever .. and ever ... and ever ....



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 12:49:56 PM)

It's always interesting to me that with more "freedom" women have been given over the years the more lecherous and conforming to a typical male's desires they become.





Lockit -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 1:03:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

It's always interesting to me that with more "freedom" women have been given over the years the more lecherous and conforming to a typical male's desires they become.





Women were not given any freedom. They worked damn hard for it. Have some lost their way or confused things? Yes, I think so... but there are still women fighting hard for those freedoms and we will share our experiences and help them see... you can be who you are, be free to be who you are and don't have to play to the tune of some gamer man's game. We will get there... well most of us anyway.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 1:06:51 PM)

Is this where we do a "Go Feminism!" fist-pump and then set up the tripod for an amateur porn?



Lockit -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 1:07:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Is this where we do a "Go Feminism!" fist-pump and then set up the tripod for an amateur porn?



Well you can... I won't be joining the team. [:D]



ResidentSadist -> RE: Should a sub "Save" herself for her Dream Dom? (1/31/2012 1:25:41 PM)

Dear tainted,
I feel you should experience all that you can so when you do find a partner, you bring more to the relationship, even if it is just more self awareness.

I also understand the tainted concept and hope I can convey my thoughts accurately.  You are in a learning phase just like when I was learning about music and how to play guitar.  I learned a song called Home On The Range.  I never liked that song.  But once I learned how to play it, I was biased favorable towards it because it gave me an outlet for my musical abilities.  I became tainted by it.  

I explained my dilemma to my mother (a pianist) because my ultimate goal was to compose music.  I didn’t want to be tainted by the music of others.  She gave me excellent advice.  She directed me to study the scales and modes, learning and practicing them on the guitar instead of other people’s music.  It worked out great and I became a free thinking composer and still learned how to play guitar.  

So know that you are learning to play a certain way, whether it is the Gorean way, D/s, casual social bottoming or whatever, be aware that it will create bias because it gave you the release you seek.  But look at it as one of many tools or modes in which to reach your goals.  

Do I think you were tainted by your experience?  I think we are all flavored by our experiences.  Choose your experiences with care as they flavor who you are.

I think your friend’s advice was dead wrong and you should not avoid experiences anymore than a musician should avoid learning to play an instrument.

Have fun,
Kalon Eric




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