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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 10:08:52 PM   
tweakabelle


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It's easy for us to sit here and think that Luaren is living a lie. We are focussing on a single aspect of her being, and her relationship with her husband. None of us are pretending to have an insight into the inner dynamics of the relationship - the dreams they may share, the experiences and feelings and shared history that bind them together. We're focussing on the history of one partner's genitals. Are we all genital-fixated to that extent? Are the genitals the things that make the relationship work? Or, for that matter, fail?

There's a lot more to relationships, and to life, than genitals. One of the things that transgender shows us is the extent to which we are gential-fixated, the extent to which we pretend not to be genitally-fixated, and the extent to which we resent any one exposing our genital fixation. Trangenders teach us that anatomy doesn't have to be destiny.

For all its lengthy critique of gender binaries, feminism has not been very successful at offering ways out of the gender binary, except at academic and theoretical levels. Transgenders actually live their lives outside the binary, sometimes by choice, sometimes not by choice. They show the rest of us that it is possible. People trapped in the limitations of monogender don't always appreciate having it pointed out to them that their situation isn't mandated by destiny but a consequence of their own choices.

This is tension that the Laurens of this world have to resolve. If they aspire to a 'normal' life (whatever that might mean) they are obliged to resolve this tension in way that suits not only themselves but the sensitivities of all around them. So while I personally might have made a different choice to Lauren if I was ever in that situation (fortunately for me I won't be), I don't believe any of us have a right to judge it from the outside.

< Message edited by tweakabelle -- 2/3/2012 10:10:47 PM >


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 10:27:10 PM   
MrBukani


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If we cannot judge rights from wrongs as we see it. Ethics are dead.
Courts cannot rule.
Most here say they wouldnt do it.
So there is a general consensus.
If you dont see how Laurens example is feeding the enemy,
you are blind, I'm sorry to say.
Like prejudice and discrimination are words that are hijacked by negative conotations.
If you forget the positive meaning of the words, you will lack the ability to use them for good purposes.

edit BTW I do think its an insightfull good post tweakabelle

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/3/2012 10:32:58 PM >

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 10:41:39 PM   
tweakabelle


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@ Mr Bukani,
I'm trying to say we should wait until we are in possession of all the facts before we make judgements - not that judgements are impossible

eta: I do see your perspective and agree it has a lot of merit too. I'm not sure that there is any option open to the Lauren's of this world that allows everyone involved to be totally honest - they could just as easily point out that we, via the obligatory binary gender system we impose on everyone, are living a much bigger lie couldn't they?

< Message edited by tweakabelle -- 2/3/2012 11:08:50 PM >


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 11:04:09 PM   
ResidentSadist


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Thank you for all your accolades about the topic being brave, but I’m not brave.  The truth is, I never dreamed that talking about my love for the mindset of a transsexual would even be considered taboo on a BDSM forum with gay and trans dating profile categories.

Back to the Op and spanking a fine, sweet tranny ass that is just begging for it.  Most women feel more feminine when they please their man.  Can you imagine how much more intense that dynamic is for a transsexual?  It’s like a turbo charged woman, the feminine passion they exude…  I remember spanking this one girl with a nice rhythm and if I paused, if I held my hand still over her ass, she would back into it and caress herself like a cat in heat.  Begging with body language is just soooooo primal. 

For me, the fact they were boys that wanted to be my girl was really hot in the domination aspect of it.  Here is this fine ass looking female, with boy parts jiggling while spank her or fuck her… and they want nothing more than to be my bitch.  That boy crossed the gender lines they were born with to completely submit to me as Master, become my bitch and give up that ass.  … man, that is hot as hell. 

So yes, I loved the gay leather scene and my time in the 70s with pre and post ops. 



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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 11:11:11 PM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrBukani
Simple answer RS, what if Laurens hubby wants children of his own? To me the lies become a dead ringer in that perspective.
She will deny him his right to procreate. Sounds selfish to me.
Anyway if they are happy, good for them.
But just like my removed post said, I think it's a bad example for acceptance in general.
You hear these examples too often. I remember an episode of two and a half men where charlie kissed a 'man'(trans).
I dont mind people who see it like that.
A lot of straight people see it that way.
And that will probably never change.
But those people can learn to respect and accept it.

Nah.. she's not selfish.  She's giving him all he can handle.  Lauren didn't deceive hubby about the baby factor.  Last I recall, adoption wasn’t out of the question but neither wanted kids.  Hubby staked her in a business and the business took off.  It's doing very well, they grew rather wealthy and they are busy growing the corporation.  They were happy as clams last I heard.  I've known her since the 70s and I caught up with her and how her life was going several years ago.  As far as the rest, I think hausboy & tweakabelle pretty much covered all that.  


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/3/2012 11:58:21 PM   
dreamysubmale


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I copied and pasted the following from When, Why & How to Tell Him That You're a Transsexual, by Nikki, to educate myself about the subject RS posted, which i found thought-provoking (not sure if these are the right words)

You don’t change your sex, because sex is not determined by what is between your legs! You change your physical appearance to match the gender into which you were born. The body just didn’t get the message in a womb, for whatever reasons.

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 2:15:33 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrBukani

It is naive to think all people are racist and that we are conditioned to think its wrong.
I would state the opposite.
Just look at the vatican and you will see you are wrong.
I can give multiple examples like it.
I read your profile and I bet you love a threesome with girls.
Bisexual girls that is.
Maybe not, but that is the most obvious double standard there is.
And you probably wont admit it if you do like it.
If you do, it wont take long to reason it out to an acceptable standard.
I've had this argument many times and I always won.
But it takes months for haters to see the truth.
Dont have the time.
Cheerio



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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 2:20:08 AM   
Ninebelowzero


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No you don't.

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 3:39:09 AM   
MrBukani


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To Resident Sadist:
Thanks for clearing the babypart up it sets Lauren in a much better light. Although I think it's wrong, it is her personal business and I can respect that in some way. Everybody is entitled to keep secrets to a certain extent. I have my own. People who support freedom of choice should speak up more. I always hear people talkin about how they think the world is openminded these days but the opposite is true.
Since the nineties we are going backwards in time. Fundamentalist religious movements are growing rapidly. Feminism is practicly dead in the water. Fascism, Racism is still winning more souls each day and the list goes on and on.

Some people, like the director of the dutch gay rights movement is even so stupified blind he states publicly that most of the fight is done. Society does not change by law but by the opinion of the people.

To NocturnalStalker:
It's a well known fact most straight guys fantasize about trio's with bi-girls. Lesbians are accepted more then gay men. For the simple fact when we think of gays, we think of assfuckin. And a lot of people will always find that gross. Hence lesbo's are easier to accept. It's the most obvious double standard in the world.
Now if you are an intelligent being and I know you are, cause you're not a monkey, you can wise up and get smart. Being intelligent doesn't mean you're smart. You can figure out yourself where this is going.
And you will have to alter your opinion, for everybody wants to be right in their own mind.
Since you did not answer my question you are obviously avoiding the subject matter.
I am not asking you to like gay people, but I will demand respect.
And you won't change your opinion now. You will live with this contradiction in your soul a long time. It will haunt and stalk you in your nocturnal dreams.
Goodnight.
BTW catlover, my birthname means alphawolf. Litterboxes stink like hell and a cat cant be trained. It is a useless pet except to pet. Dogs you can train to do almost anything and in this case help the blind. Thats why a dog is man's best friend.
Another twist in your philosophy from your journal. Glad I could help.
You're welcome.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/4/2012 3:58:28 AM >

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 7:08:47 AM   
PolyDommesgirl


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i had to leave the covo last night. It was late, i was tired, and i believe the moderator was on top of every word said, as the boards seemed very slow to me.

MrBukani, i appreciate your opinion on this subject and the subject of honesty.

i would like to point out that much of your argument is based on your perceived possible future circumstances. Your argument also seems heavily influenced by your personal beliefs and current life paradigm, which may not be the same for anyone else.

As such, i thank you for letting us know you and NS would not want to be in a relationship with people like me. You have done us both a favor. You now know about us, and we know about you. Cross 2 people of the search list of the 6 billion. There it is decided.

Now when you began to act as a defendant to someone, who never asked for a defense counselor, to someone you have never met, or known, i feel you may have crossed the line.

You mention taking away a male partners right to have children. Why are you so concern about that. Have you managed to keep every one of your sperm, to ensure your will have that right and opportunity? Likening to women who freeze their eggs? Hmm i doubt it.

Furthermore, how do you know that they want to have children? How do you know that conversation has not or will not happen? And why do you assume the child needs to be biologically theirs?

In O/our circumstances, W/we do not want children. My Partner, does not want children for medical reasons, i do not want children because i know my circumstances at this point, and i would not make a decent parent. (Believe it or not, there are hundreds of men and women who do not want children.)

However, if W/we did decide W/we wanted children, there are hundreds if not thousands of children who are in need of fostering or adoption. As is the case for the couple we are discussing.

Another example you state is that you believe that the transgender person is being selfish.

Selfish. SELFISH? Are you serious? Come walk a mile in my moccasins.

i have had gender issues for nearly 35 years.

i have had and lost 18 different jobs thus far due to environmental and social incompatibility.

i have lost my first wife and lost my first born child. To top it off, my ex refuses to talk to me and refuses to let my child speak to me. The most sickening part, my ex has filled my daughter's head that some how i will abuse or molest her because i have sought my alignment.

i have been physically assaulted and verbally abused almost annually until i was 35.

i have spent thousand of dollars on antidepressants all in the name of FITTING your mold of how a person should behave and act in society.

During those 35 years i contemplated suicide on numerous occasions.

SELFISH you say, because i don’t want such volatility in my life?
SELFISH you say, because i want a sense of normalcy in my life?
SELFISH you say, because i because i want some to love, and to love me?
SELFISH because i wanted the same standard of living as my peers?

With all do respect Sir, if that that is your belief, so be it. i embrace my selfishness, because i just like you are, entitled to these qualities of life.

Now that my personality an physical appearance match, and i am accepted by the majority of society, save a few people like you.

Well as the old saying goes, you can't please all the people all of the time.

i am not so self absorbed to want, need or require your acceptance.

Perhaps that's because i am in a different place or space right now. To those in (Real Life) whom i have come out to, i have received nothing but support. Maybe in your environment, i would not receive such support.

Currently in my life, i get to wake up to 35 horses on a beautiful ranch. In my life i get to pick up a camera; any time i desire; and take pictures of animals, people, and nature. (http://ehveechic.deviantart.com/) In my life i am a chauffeur to celebrities, and vacationers. In my life i am learning about Reiki, and Buddhism.

i just turned 40, and i am happier now than ever before. Except when i encounter people like yourself.

Maybe that is the problem for you. Perhaps you have been programmed to be unhappy and you dislike seeing others attain a state of joy and happiness.

What ever the case, life goes on.

Again thank you for sharing your constricted and limited belief system. Thank you for letting everyone know you would rather create barriers between people over one aspect of their lives.

i bet you have 1000s other traits that would make you and i great friends. i bet you have a couple 100 of qualities that would you a great partner. It is truly a shame that you would let 1 thing destroy all of that potential.

Your personality is one that seeks reasons to be exclusive, rather than inclusive.

That in my opinion makes you discriminatory and prejudiced against those who do not conform.

The more people you push away, the fewer people you will have to play with.

Good luck with that.

[corrected typos]

< Message edited by PolyDommesgirl -- 2/4/2012 7:56:20 AM >


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 7:15:47 AM   
xssve


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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2095885/Crystal-Warren-Sex-addict-slept-1-000-men-used-MAN-herself.html

I'm more or less of the opinion that I'd like to know, I wouldn't beat you up, just politely decline, but after reading the OP I'm not sure anymore, I'm actually kind of in awe, my hat is off to you sir

The trollish title, the where-is-he-going-with-this lead in, the twist, the sublime ending, the graceful dismount - nothing left to say really, no way to improve upon it, the rest is commentary.

Anyway.

It is all in your head for the most part, and it seems a bit silly to assign roles according to genitalia - maybe we're so focused on genitalia because it can get hard to tell sometimes without it, what with masculine women and feminine men, and that's nothing new.

I think it will always matter, we are basically wired to seek out people with the appropriate corresponding genitalia, largely a matter or pheromones, for largely evolutionary reasons, and division of labor are going to form around that. I'm admittedly, a bit of a breeder myself: anytime I'm near a woman, any woman, the possibility exists if only theoretically, i.e., even if it's not a possibility, and things start percolating, it's just what my endocrine system is telling me - if I think it's a chick and I find out it's a guy, I'm not mad, I'm just sort of deflated.

But if it's all fun and games, I don't see why it matters much, people enjoy being together whether they're pumping out um's or not, and if it doesn't matter to you, it damn sure doesn't matter to me.


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 8:09:02 AM   
MrBukani


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Have you read my last post?

Too bad a lot of posts got deleted cause maybe you miss the point.
I never said I don't want to be with a TS
I do not want to be with somebody who thinks they have to hide their original gender, or things that concern my wellbeing.
The TS that is proudly wearing her badge of transition fights for acceptance in general.
I admire their defiant spirit.
On here you openly state what you are, so why not to your lifepartner.
Seems contradictive.
If anyone has a strong will to have a child of their own, you violate their rights by not telling, what kind of love is that.
You are accepted by the majority?
Then why would you loose so many jobs.
I think you are barking up the wrong tree. I advise you to carefully read the posts of who you respond to.
I dont mind people hiding their secrets from the world to protect themselves,
I do mind people having secrets like this in committed relationships.
Period.

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 9:26:38 AM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2095885/Crystal-Warren-Sex-addict-slept-1-000-men-used-MAN-herself.html

I'm more or less of the opinion that I'd like to know, I wouldn't beat you up, just politely decline, but after reading the OP I'm not sure anymore, I'm actually kind of in awe, my hat is off to you sir

The trollish title, the where-is-he-going-with-this lead in, the twist, the sublime ending, the graceful dismount - nothing left to say really, no way to improve upon it, the rest is commentary.

Anyway.

It is all in your head for the most part, and it seems a bit silly to assign roles according to genitalia - maybe we're so focused on genitalia because it can get hard to tell sometimes without it, what with masculine women and feminine men, and that's nothing new.

I think it will always matter, we are basically wired to seek out people with the appropriate corresponding genitalia, largely a matter or pheromones, for largely evolutionary reasons, and division of labor are going to form around that. I'm admittedly, a bit of a breeder myself: anytime I'm near a woman, any woman, the possibility exists if only theoretically, i.e., even if it's not a possibility, and things start percolating, it's just what my endocrine system is telling me - if I think it's a chick and I find out it's a guy, I'm not mad, I'm just sort of deflated.

But if it's all fun and games, I don't see why it matters much, people enjoy being together whether they're pumping out um's or not, and if it doesn't matter to you, it damn sure doesn't matter to me.

Interesting link, thanks. 
"Most of the men she met were in gay bars and clubs because that was where she felt 'most comfortable...   
I slept with a hell of a lot of men before my operation but once I had the body I'd always wanted my sex drive went crazy...
I no longer refer to myself as a post-op transsexual because I needed to put that label behind me to move on. I haven't come as far as I have to be reminded all the time..."
This exemplifies what I was saying about the the gay leather subculture throwing PC out the window and being a more comfortable leather environment, no matter what your sexual preferences are.  The leather aspect of it seems more vivid and more honest.  It also reflects exactly what I said about transsexuals telling everyone they were born a boy would interrupt their life as a woman.

As far as my trollish title and the twist, guilty as charged.  Between the Beating a Woman's tits thread and the Beating a mans dick I felt the poor neglected tranny ass deserved it's own spot in the sun.  I am glad you are all enjoying it... even if it is a few pages shorter after moderation and many replies are to posts that no longer exist. 

It seems the topic brought the best and worst in our fellow CM forum members. 


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 9:28:40 AM   
PolyDommesgirl


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MrBukani

i just checked out your profile.

i like it.

Again, its seem like we have much in common. i likely went a little overboard with my rebuttal. 35 years of abuse can put someone constantly on the defensive. i made some wrong presumptions about you.

Granted, i did bark up the wrong tree. For those wrong assumptions i apologize. i do make mistakes. when i am wrong i acknowledge that. Better yet i make an effort to learn from that.

i still feel it is my choice to divulge, i was born with a physical deformity. (Commonly known as penis and testicles). It is your paradigm that i am being dishonest. It is my paradigm its a non issue and not of your well being.


By the way, my current partner does know.

Again, i will tackle the hurdle of informing a next partner if an when it comes. However, i know the type of people i would spend time with, and it is likely to be a non issue to them.

If a child was before the transition, obviously the child should be informed. But post transition. I disagree. Its none of the child's business.

i have been accepted by the majority of people since 2008. All my job issues occurred before the start of my transition.

Thank you for taking the time to write back.

i do enjoy conversing about this topic.

[corrected typos, added a sentence]

< Message edited by PolyDommesgirl -- 2/4/2012 9:53:51 AM >


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 10:08:27 AM   
MrBukani


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Misunderstandings are part of life. No apology needed. I am just thankfull you do understand now. People on the same side of the fence can still have different sets of ethics.
I have been fighting all my life against things I believe are wrong.
It is who I am. It's not easy but I have no choice concerning my ethics and ideals.
I have had a traumatic experience last year as well and it changed a lot about me.
I was born a fighter not a lover.
We all have defects we try to better.
I respect you.

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 10:54:06 AM   
xssve


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quote:

As far as my trollish title and the twist, guilty as charged. Between the Beating a Woman's tits thread and the Beating a mans dick I felt the poor neglected tranny ass deserved it's own spot in the sun. I am glad you are all enjoying it... even if it is a few pages shorter after moderation and many replies are to posts that no longer exist.
Well that was the twist there, I think for awhile nobody really knew what to say, I was speechless, ns, troll trooper that he, is had to work at it, be deliberately obtuse, and basically completely miss the point in order to turn it into a troll, and even then didn't really manage make it stick - it was your attempts to explain to him just how badly he was missing the point that has generated most of the responses since, but it still, thankfully, has to do with those identity issues that lay at the heart of the whole thing, which again, reflects on the strength of the opening post.

Definitely some interesting points raised I'll have to ponder further. My experience in this area is extremely limited, I hope everybody takes anything I have to say on the subject with the appropriate pinch of salt.


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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 11:53:50 AM   
kitkat105


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This is all directed at Mr Bukani:

I fail to see the point of constantly bringing up the right to have children. How many heterosexual couples get married, and for whatever reason their circumstances/opinions change and one partner decides they don't want children? Are they also evil for denying their partner the right to children? Or do you believe you can only be married once?

If you can't scope out someone's feelings on whether or not they want children in the beginning stage of a relationship, more fool you. Why would you stay with someone who has different ideas for how the relationship will pan out? Isn't that part of the key to a healthy relationship is you have similar ideals, interests, etc???

Just because someone is transsexual does not mean they are going to deliberately hide their opinions on children. Why create such a blanket statement in your posts? It's just odd. It's almost like maybe a TS did this to you, so you're already scorned about the topic.

-------

As for RS - thank you for contributing such an interesting story to the forum. And thank you to those who provided their individual insight & experience. I don't know nearly enough about TS/TG individuals but feel a lot of compassion & empathy towards individuals who struggle with finding and claiming who they really are.

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 12:37:47 PM   
MrBukani


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Children are an integral and spiritual part of life.
So the do or dont want is very important in a relationship.
Yes someone can change their minds but not after conception.edit-birth-

My main objection was not telling the other a pretty vital secret about your identity.
Does not go down well with me.
In a committed relationship
I either am ok with it that you are a TS or not
If I am not ok with it I am livin with a lie I don't like.
If I am ok with it its all good open and honest, no dealbreakers.
So I don't see the point of being in the blind forever.
I wouldnt do it to the other either.
No TS ever did it to me FYI

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/4/2012 12:39:16 PM >

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RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 1:21:50 PM   
tweakabelle


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quote:

My main objection was not telling the other a pretty vital secret about your identity.
Does not go down well with me.
In a committed relationship

On the face of things this sounds quite sensible and plausible. I'd like to think that I would disclose everything I felt to be of significance about me to a potential life partner, and that they would return the favour.

Do most people actually disclose everything "of significance"? How many people itell their partners about their youthful flings with people of the same gender? Which gives them a partially 'gay' history. Or the time when as a 15 year old they shoplifted a pair of sunglasses they couldn't afford? Which gives them a criminal past. Or the time when they slept with someone for grossly materialist or manipulative or exploitative reasons? Which gives them a bit of a sex worker history. Or the times they conned someone into sex? Which gives them a history of predation.

Who determines what is "significant" in the lives of others? Does anyone have the right to lay down stipulations about what is or isn't significant in the life of another human being? Is it a violation of that person's autonomy for others to make such judgements? Is there any guarantee that the person doing the judging and the person being judged will apply the same standards?

The reason why disclosure of a TG past might seem to important to a non-TG person is because the non-TG person's perceptions and expectations are shaped by their obsession/fetishisation of genitals. To a TG person the same genitals might seem an insignificant physical anomaly that might or might not be corrected surgically or hormonally. In this as in everything, there's more than one way of looking at things.

I can see why you are adopting the position you are. I would prolly tend to agree that the course you propose might be a better course, at both personal and political levels. But ultimately this is an area of personal choice. We all edit our histories. What is an 'identity' if not a carefully edited version of the Self, as much an aspiration as a fact, as much a relationship between an individual and their culture as a personal truth?

So I feel that a more generous reading of the situation of TG people than the one you are offering might be called for in this instance. There's a lot more to be gained by understanding than by judging.



< Message edited by tweakabelle -- 2/4/2012 1:28:13 PM >


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(in reply to MrBukani)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Beating a transsexual's ass - 2/4/2012 1:39:40 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
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quote:

It's a well known fact most straight guys fantasize about trio's with bi-girls.


Oh, okay. That's cool.

quote:

Since you did not answer my question you are obviously avoiding the subject matter.


You did not ask a question. You made an assumption that I would have a threesome with bi-sexual girls.

quote:

I am not asking you to like gay people, but I will demand respect.


The topic is transsexuals. Not homosexuals.

quote:

BTW catlover, my birthname means alphawolf. Litterboxes stink like hell and a cat cant be trained. It is a useless pet except to pet. Dogs you can train to do almost anything and in this case help the blind. Thats why a dog is man's best friend.


This is why I don't drink or do drugs.




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