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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:03:56 AM

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Sock? yeah. but the sock doesn't have the intelligence to pull off an arpig.

I have my suspicions.

*going back to my self imposed backing away mode, even as poorly as it is working (hey, I get bored and there are only so many times ya can check yahoo, msn, etc...)*

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:31:36 AM

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SHall we start bulding.......

Why doesnt husband divorce? COuld it be love? Obsession? Possessive?

Divorcing would require mommy to leave kids behind, go practically into hiding, restraining orders, nasty court scenes, threats galore , stalked. He must enjoy serving me dinner I guess.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:33:55 AM

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This is just my two cents here but if you're not going to get a divorce why not try to have a good marriage rather than a bad one? Your marriage can be whatever you both want it to be. Sometimes marriage counseling is a good idea.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:39:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrsT301

This is just my two cents here but if you're not going to get a divorce why not try to have a good marriage rather than a bad one? Your marriage can be whatever you both want it to be. Sometimes marriage counseling is a good idea.

IM going to try that. Lots of bridges have been burnt. No more men, Master was just one of a few. But he is the only one who meant something. Those are my faults, my doing. BUt right or wrong I had a several dozen reasons (excuses) for my actions.

We made a deal if Im not happy after steering straight, he will allow the divorce without absolute insanity. BUt considering history well..........all I can say is we will see.

(in reply to MrsT301)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:50:59 AM

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The mind is the most adaptive thing we have. So did you go into the marriage knowing you like bdsm?
If so you cant blame him for not following up.
Dont see why a divorce has to be nasty, again a personal problem I guess.
Hell if I meet a nympho today and fall in love I could drop bdsm like burning your finger on a matchstick.
There is not a lot of people out there anymore that dont like a little kink at all.
So, life is what you make of it.
All that BS about having no choice at all is bull. It just means you are not in total control of your mind.
Enjoy what you got and expand on that. Dont linger in depression on what you dont have.

(in reply to MrsT301)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:53:20 AM

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In the end, my husband and I had grown irreconcilably apart and had nothing like children to hold us together. But before we came to that decision, we did marriage counseling, massage workshops, couples weekends and BDSM events, all of which improved things temporarily.

So, chatter, while the things above did not work for me in the end, they may work for you, or at least improve things while you're there.

Also potentially helpful for you could be techniques for emotion regulation and reality-testing with concepts of distress tolerance, acceptance, and mindful awareness largely derived from Buddhist meditative practice.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:56:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrBukani

The mind is the most adaptive thing we have. So did you go into the marriage knowing you like bdsm?
If so you cant blame him for not following up.
Dont see why a divorce has to be nasty, again a personal problem I guess.
Hell if I meet a nympho today and fall in love I could drop bdsm like burning your finger on a matchstick.
There is not a lot of people out there anymore that dont like a little kink at all.
So, life is what you make of it.
All that BS about having no choice at all is bull. It just means you are not in total control of your mind.
Enjoy what you got and expand on that. Dont linger in depression on what you dont have.

Didnt say there wasnt a choice. THere is. BUt one has to live with the choice and be able to handle the circumstances that transpire.

(in reply to MrBukani)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:57:16 AM

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NiN7ISW7E&feature=related

Got Milk?

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 8:02:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

SHall we start bulding.......

Why doesnt husband divorce? COuld it be love? Obsession? Possessive?

Divorcing would require mommy to leave kids behind, go practically into hiding, restraining orders, nasty court scenes, threats galore , stalked. He must enjoy serving me dinner I guess.

Sometimes a man is willing to take a lot of crap from the mother of his children for the sake of those children. Eventually you reach the point that you don't even want to interact with the woman, but are willing to be "roommates," for the sake of the kids.
My one experience was that the woman wasn't willing to go that route, and kept trying to mess with the status quo. Ended up with me leaving, and hopefully soon getting the kids. I'm sure there will be drama, but I'll weather that storm like I weathered all the rest...
So don't get too full of yourself, it is probably more about him loving his kids...

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 8:08:33 AM

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I'm iffy on that level of passivity-agressivity in this little vignette. It don't count up.

I don't buy those assumptions, so I don't buy the deal, but it seems that the perfect solution is out front uptown, in everybodies face cuckold relations, and he can help.

Name him shake and bake.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 8:23:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

SHall we start bulding.......

Why doesnt husband divorce? COuld it be love? Obsession? Possessive?

Divorcing would require mommy to leave kids behind, go practically into hiding, restraining orders, nasty court scenes, threats galore , stalked. He must enjoy serving me dinner I guess.

Sometimes a man is willing to take a lot of crap from the mother of his children for the sake of those children. Eventually you reach the point that you don't even want to interact with the woman, but are willing to be "roommates," for the sake of the kids.
My one experience was that the woman wasn't willing to go that route, and kept trying to mess with the status quo. Ended up with me leaving, and hopefully soon getting the kids. I'm sure there will be drama, but I'll weather that storm like I weathered all the rest...
So don't get too full of yourself, it is probably more about him loving his kids...

I really wish that was the case I was just full of myself. IM not going into all the specifics but I will just say the loving parent part is only portrayed with me staying. If im leaving, well the kids get the blunt of it. loving parent goes out the door per say

(in reply to SoftBonds)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 8:31:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

In the end, my husband and I had grown irreconcilably apart and had nothing like children to hold us together. But before we came to that decision, we did marriage counseling, massage workshops, couples weekends and BDSM events, all of which improved things temporarily.

So, chatter, while the things above did not work for me in the end, they may work for you, or at least improve things while you're there.

Also potentially helpful for you could be techniques for emotion regulation and reality-testing with concepts of distress tolerance, acceptance, and mindful awareness largely derived from Buddhist meditative practice.

Thanks yep IM going to therapy starting next week, but Im only interested in going alone. We will see if i want to start something together but at this point I have no interest. SOmetimes to much happens, and its just gone.

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 8:59:45 AM

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ditto ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Sock? yeah. but the sock doesn't have the intelligence to pull off an arpig.

I have my suspicions.

*going back to my self imposed backing away mode, even as poorly as it is working (hey, I get bored and there are only so many times ya can check yahoo, msn, etc...)*

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There is no spoon.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 9:05:41 AM

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mail, my lovely

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:02:05 PM

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I want to toss out there that not every marriage is worth saving. I didn't even attempt counseling when I left my (now) exhusband. He had fallen further into alcoholism (except he wasn't an alcoholic to ask him....to him, alcoholic means you drink every day. He didn't, he just couldn't stop once he started until he passed out) and he was using various drugs behind my back, which is a hard limit in a relationship for me. Further, he was emotionally abusive. On top of that, he just didn't want to be in a family. The final straw was him coming home from work around 6:30-7pm, when our one year old would be going to be at 8-8:30, and shouting at the child to 'go bother someone else' because he wanted alone time. I asked my parents the very next day if we could move in for awhile. Emotional abuse to me was one thing, to our son was absolutely inexcusable.

Now, all of that is probably not going on here, but seriously....I don't always advocate counseling and all that.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:04:32 PM

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quote:

(except he wasn't an alcoholic to ask him....to him, alcoholic means you drink every day. He didn't, he just couldn't stop once he started until he passed out)

My ex had the same rationale and couldn't grasp that getting blackout drunk 52 days per year means there's a damn problem.

(in reply to jennileigh8182)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/3/2012 7:14:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

(except he wasn't an alcoholic to ask him....to him, alcoholic means you drink every day. He didn't, he just couldn't stop once he started until he passed out)

My ex had the same rationale and couldn't grasp that getting blackout drunk 52 days per year means there's a damn problem.

Haha...amazing how that logic doesn't flow, right?

Mine had been without his driver's license the entire time I'd known him due to his second DUI. He was eligible to get it back, but to do so..........he had to convince a counselor he no longer had a drinking problem. He needed letters of recommendation from people and went into a towering fury when I refused to write one. I had told him for almost a year that I would write one if he could go to his bowling league for ONE NIGHT and not drink. One. Seriously, just one. That's...what? All of 3 hours without a drink? He couldn't do it, I refused to write it. Hell, when I was pregnant (and the doctor was terrified that I was going to go into premature labor), he'd drink at bowling, then DRIVE THE COMPANY VEHICLE HOME, knowing I could need to be rushed to the hospital at any time.

ETA: Mine slept on the bathroom floor a number of times because he was too drunk/sick to make it to bed. I, being the cold-hearted bitch that he says I am, left him there to wallow in his misery and enjoyed having the entire bed to myself and the dog.

< Message edited by jennileigh8182 -- 3/3/2012 7:15:49 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:57:47 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sailasub

What a fascinating, entertaining and sad thread. It really covers a wide range of human reactions and shows the less than pleasant and judgmental side of so many people.

Did you happen to read the first thread before posting this?

No, I didn't know where to find the original thread but I think I got some of the gist from your and other posts on this thread. And the reactions I am talking about are not just OPs. There is a lot of anger when it appears that she is very confused and not able to face reality or recognize her situation with clarity. It looks to me like she learned a little bit from this but is still deluding herself. I don't believe that if you really enjoy BDSM you ever stop having an interest / attraction. You might stop for your health but it's addictive. I will always want a cigarette, even when it tastes like shit if I actually get one and smoke it.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 2:04:26 AM

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I didn't see the picture. I am guessing as to why he wouldn't fuck her and it is possible she is a fox. But he saw a tool to control her or he has ED or emotional issues himself. I don't think we can shrink them completely in a forum. There is only so much time I am willing to spend following this soap opera.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

As to why her master won't fuck/sodomize her - I can only guess that she is fat or old or otherwise unattractive so there is no incentive to do so.

Oh, please. Couldn't have anything to do with his issues, could it?

I don't know if it was of her, but the picture the OP had earlier with the red gloves showed an attractive woman.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 4:17:11 AM

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quote:

No, I didn't know where to find the original thread

This is easiest for posters who do not post prolifically on numerous threads - go to the Search feature and enter the poster's name in By Author.

The Search Term feature is a little clunky, so I try not to input it unless necessary.

Master does not want sex

...I want to add I am a very attractive woman who has no problems getting men.

...I also drilled him once about not having intercourse, because I needed to know. He said after much prying " I just dont like it" So hard for me to think a man doesnt like intercourse with a woman he cares about. He is either getting it with someone else was my thought, his spiritual thoughts keep him from doing it, or he is lying. My Master is an unusual man, and I do think the mentioning of personaltiy disorder is " dead on it" His ego is huge, and he is definitely a me me me person.

...Yes the whole relationship has been about mental control. Over time it advanced to him asking for gifts to redeem myself. He wanted control over everything, and recently asked to start a bank account together and mind you we dont live together. This is when I started really thinking, something is definitely off with this guy. He has always knew i wanted more so he would say things to lead me on.

...I dont think it matters if it was me or another woman, I truly believe he does have intimacy issues and doesnt want sex period. So I am not even going to take it personally. He is the one with the problem. Only problem I have was staying in to long and not seeing him for who he was much sooner.

(in reply to Sailasub)

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