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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 5:24:10 AM

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Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/4/2012 5:52:29 AM >

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:03:37 AM

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:05:56 AM

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Oh wow, um, speak for yourself only please.

For YOU, "the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. " b/c you are a supreme game player in my opinion (in a very passive/aggressive way), not to mention mentally unstable (again, my opinion) and highly ignorant about a healthy M/s dynamic.

So I agree with you in that it is not a dynamic you should seek.

That you continue to speak for other people when you should at this point have some small understanding of your level of ignorance about healthy M/s and D/s relationships speaks volumes.

Make sure and keep that counselor appointment.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:18:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Oh wow, um, speak for yourself only please.

For YOU, "the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. " b/c you are a supreme game player in my opinion (in a very passive/aggressive way), not to mention mentally unstable (again, my opinion) and highly ignorant about a healthy M/s dynamic.

So I agree with you in that it is not a dynamic you should seek.

That you continue to speak for other people when you should at this point have some small understanding of your level of ignorance about healthy M/s and D/s relationships speaks volumes.

Make sure and keep that counselor appointment.

HIt a nerve? lol. Its my thread, so I can speak volumes, state my opinion, flip flop, etc etc etc.
If people enjoy giving up their minds and total power let them. BUt sometimes people get in situatons craving and needing something the desperately want to find in another human being, only to find..............didnt make it better, made it worse. They need to work on themselves, not give power to someone else. Someone else isnt gonna fix it.

People change their minds everyday, flip flop back and forth on decisions, way options and consequences.

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers

If I am a supreme manipulator and game player, I think that qualifies me as a DOM.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/4/2012 6:47:40 AM >

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:22:59 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY

You really don't get it, but it's not hard to figure out why- you have too much on your plate with your other issues. Maybe instead of striving for understanding you might just rest on the point that you really don't get it, and let those of us who do take care of our own lives.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:30:04 AM

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quote:

Its my thread, so I can speak volumes, state my opinion, flip flop, etc etc etc.

An FYI. The user who starts a thread does not have rights of ownership nor carte blanche to violate the Terms of Service. The TOS apply to everyone equally.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:30:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY

You really don't get it, but it's not hard to figure out why- you have too much on your plate with your other issues. Maybe instead of striving for understanding you might just rest on the point that you really don't get it, and let those of us who do take care of our own lives.

No HOney I do get it. I am speaking to the ones who might find this thread, and I am asking them to think long and hard before giving up their own free will and putting themsleves in a terrible situation that might harm them or their family.
I do have alot of external issues, that is correct, but regardless...
YOU WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT ME WARNING PEOPLE OF THE HAZARDS? GET your mind back. I wasnt speaking to you, if you are treated right thats wonderful im glad.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:33:08 AM

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It's preached here quite often to be careful who you enter into an arrangement such as this with. Picking your partner is probably the single most important thing you'll do in this lifestyle. That, and acting with integrity.

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(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:38:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

It's preached here quite often to be careful who you enter into an arrangement such as this with. Picking your partner is probably the single most important thing you'll do in this lifestyle. That, and acting with integrity.

Thats all I was trying to say. Thank you.
One can see how crazy things can be or make you if you enter the wrong relationship, put your trust in the wrong person, do the wrong things. This thread is proof.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:12:55 AM

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Same goes with vanilla relationships . Take your time and find the right fit .

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:18:37 AM

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huh...I'm in an M/s relationship and I've never felt more safe, more cared for, more responsible, happier than I've been in years. Yeah you had a bad experience. Everyone has them...bdsm, kink, gay, straight, vanilla, whatever. And you my dear, are married and unhappy in that marriage and therefore I find your situation more dangerous than any other relationship out there. You're playing with fire. Good luck with that.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:21:18 AM

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quote:

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers

I hope you're seeing a kink aware or friendly therapist and don't come back with some sort of "BDSM is wrong" pointer.

I saw a therapist who was kink friendly when we started and kink aware when we finished. I was always amused and gratified when he demonstrated he'd been reading up.

He never made me wrong for my predilection for BDSM, but pointed out the shortcomings in my partners and poor decision making that was leading to these choices.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 8:41:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers

I hope you're seeing a kink aware or friendly therapist and don't come back with some sort of "BDSM is wrong" pointer.

I saw a therapist who was kink friendly when we started and kink aware when we finished. I was always amused and gratified when he demonstrated he'd been reading up.

He never made me wrong for my predilection for BDSM, but pointed out the shortcomings in my partners and poor decision making that was leading to these choices.

I am not going to listen to "ITS WRONG" honestly didnt ask if they were kink friendly and dont feel comfy asking. If they start with that concept then its the wrong counselor for me. I dont think its wrong, the right situation I think it could be a truly beauitful set up.

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 9:54:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

huh...I'm in an M/s relationship and I've never felt more safe, more cared for, more responsible, happier than I've been in years. Yeah you had a bad experience. Everyone has them...bdsm, kink, gay, straight, vanilla, whatever. And you my dear, are married and unhappy in that marriage and therefore I find your situation more dangerous than any other relationship out there. You're playing with fire. Good luck with that.

I am very happy for you.

I am not asking you this question but when I read that I thought of this question.

WHo is the woman without the master? Is the woman able to stand on their own two feet, able to make their own decisions, be whole on their own. If the answer to the question is yes then I think the master/slave thing can be a match made in heaven. Is the person a strong independent person alone. personally opinion here of course.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 10:11:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

<snip>... my ramblings...

Screen name fits. 'Nuff said.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 12:57:08 PM

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Did your imaginary sports car make your flung cigarette fly into your eyes, causing you to run off the road and jam one of your long legs into your forehead, causing you to get amnesia and forget you said you were done here?

Or, are you just batshit crazy?

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:00:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Did your imaginary sports car make your flung cigarette fly into your eyes, causing you to run off the road and jam one of your long legs into your forehead, causing you to get amnesia and forget you said you were done here?

Or, are you just batshit crazy?

I am gonna go with this.

The ongoing yada yada yada reminds me of a tamistar trainwreck.

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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:08:37 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am gonna go with this.

The ongoing yada yada yada reminds me of a tamistar trainwreck.

There is that. At least there is only the one profile here, supposedly, to keep track of instead of people continually posting as others and thinking no one knows the difference.

To be fair, the OP considers it her duty now to warn others of making horrible mistakes.
It'll keep changing.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:33:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY.

I did not give up my scruples nor my common sense when I entered into this relationship that evolved into M/s.
I did not kick my morality to the curb.

Truth is, I actually reconnected with my moral compass within this relationship.
I have not abdicated my personal responsibility; in fact I am held accountable to it.

You behaved like someone in the throes of subfrenzy.

Your-all-over-the-place thought process really isn't showing that you are stable enough to be in any relationship right now, but since you are in a marriage, perhaps you could focus on that?

Compelling dominant men can be difficult to resist.
However, knowing one's self well enough to know when one's boundaries are being moved (which can't happen if you don't allow it) and keeping to one's moral center is something one should be able to do in any relationship.
If you can't do that then I personally think your ability to identify right from wrong is probably already compromised. If you don't know what is right for you and continue to run your life according to your "little head" then you will keep finding yourself in messes.

It isn't really about needing to have an "exceptional Master". It is about choosing one who doesn't exploit your personal package of insecurities; again your responsibility.
Interesting question isn't it: why would you choose someone who does?

I discovered too, that without the ability to have a strong personal "No!" then yes has no real meaning.

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(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 2:53:28 PM

FlGirlSeeksOwner

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All i can say is good luck. Please do not involve your kids. And make sure they do not suffer financially if things go wrong.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

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