chatterbox24
Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012 Status: offline
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I dont know if you all remember me or not. I posted about concerns over my Master not wanting sex and wanting to collar me anyway about a month ago. I felt I needed to get out of the relationship because I felt I was doing everything, and he was doing nothing. Gifts for him, wanted to start a bank account together even though Im married, only allows a Bj etc. after 2 yrs. Ring a bell? The narricist and the BPD? lol. You all thought my story so ridiculous I had to be a troll? Some people had a problem with me getting on here and sharing my concerns, but I used no names so its still virtually private. He would just have a fit if he knew I was on here again lol. Anyway, this wednesday I am proceeding with the collaring. It was suppose to be two weeks ago but I wouldnt do it until I felt ready if i ever felt ready. Not one person has ever agreed with this relationship, who I have discussed it with. I quit discussing it like I once did, and have went with my own thoughts. Everyone was telling me i was brainwashed. But I cant seem to give him up and actually get alot of pleasure from giving to him. He withholds sex but its ok. He told me dont put the cart before the horse. I found after much thought he is actually right, Im not even ready for sex with him, and I decided it actually makes it better we havent had it. In the past I was notorious for getting what I want and soon being bored with someone. By withholding sex from me I have actually stayed interested and was forced to get to know him. When I examine the relationship, he has changed in the two yrs, and does tell me alot more then he used too. So this very slow relationship, really has been to my benefit. I really am nervous about getting financial involved with him but I have decided to do it, I will start slowly then see how that goes. I actually want to do it, I have a deep desire to want to trust him and so I will do it. If I get burnt, "live and learn" but I care so much for him I have to know.
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