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std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 8:07:17 PM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		although new to this site, i've been in and around the "community" for over 20 years.

i have seen many friends become sick (temporarily and permantly) and sometimes die due to unsafe sexual practices or worse yet - trusting someone at face value.

i doubt i am alone in these experiences, especially on a site devoted to sexuality.

my question is - why is it i can define my tastes on collarme down to the most refined and exquisite parameter yet there is not a SINGLE dropdown bar to address those of us who have an std and are mature enough to discuss it and advertise ourselves accordingly?

if you haven't been on the website "positivesingles" or something of its nature, you may be surprised to see how many people are on both.

let's grow up and take some communal responsibility on this site.

fantasy and fetish are one thing - denial and deception another.

laika
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 9:25:35 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Welcome, Laika!

As for a 'drop-down menu', on the other side one could certainly put whatever information they wanted in their profile narrative. Here, there have been many, many discussions on the boards about safer sex (or the lack) and folks currently dealing with STIs. If you're interested, try a search and join in the conversations.



< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 2/26/2012 9:26:48 PM >

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 9:45:49 PM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		fair eough. i will check out posts.

my belief is that people are more likely to be open about things they see as normally "advertised" vice self-admissions.

i am more apt to check the "edge play" block if i see it (thus it appears more commonplace) than if i have to self admit.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 9:58:31 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		My personal opinion is that is it no one's business if I have an STD except the person with whom I may be contemplating having a relationship. I make a lot of friends here. Since those friendships will never involve sex, why would I want them to know my own private business if it does not effect them at all?



_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 10:24:23 PM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		well i guess because in my experience, friendship equals complete trust and sharing of private things. i, personally, do not hide things from friends.

i call everyone else an "acquaintance".

to each her/his own.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 10:46:17 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		If you wish to share all things with your friends you are welcome to do so. There are things I do not discuss with friends, even my best friends. As an example, I never discuss my financial affairs with my friends. I have no idea how much money they have as they do not discuss that with me. If you wish for your friends to know how much money you have in the bank and how much your IRA is worth that is entirely YOUR choice. When I was growing up it was considered impolite to talk about personal private matters such as sex and money. I don't ask my friends how many times they fuck every week nor do I ask how many times they orgasmed. I have never felt the need to call up my best friend to tell her I fucked the night before. I discuss sex with my sexual partners and money with my financial advisors. I see no reason why a friend, no matter how close a friend, needs to know any of that. I do not consider my point of view as hiding anything from my friends. There really is such a thing as TMI.

How we relate to friends is not important here. What is important is why you think it would be necessary for me to reveal if I had an STD and post it in a public profile for any and all to read. How could that possibly have any effect on anyone except for the one person with whom I have sex? Why would you care what my STD healh might be? Why would I care about your STD health? How would posting that help people to use safer sex methods?

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 11:14:35 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Hey if you want everyone to know .. you can font size up to the largest readable letter size - change the color to bright red and advertise on YOUR VERY OWN PROFILE: I HAVE A RAGING CASE OF ___________________, ____________________, AND ____________________. And I'm PROUD OF IT !!! WHOO HOOOOOO !!!!

Its really that easy, when it comes right down to it.



< Message edited by JanahX -- 2/26/2012 11:15:05 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 11:52:13 PM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		wow. enjoy your repression.

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: std's and safe play - 2/26/2012 11:56:54 PM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		and your "sock".

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 12:18:26 AM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		i guess according to your rationale, none of your 'friends' know you even have an interest in bdsm. that said, why do you care what you - or i - post here?

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 12:22:24 AM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		funny, you make "friends" here yet do not discuss things like stds.

you are an amazing array of contradictions.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 12:31:27 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laika2000

i guess according to your rationale, none of your 'friends' know you even have an interest in bdsm. that said, why do you care what you - or i - post here?


OH, my good friends know all about my interest in BDSM. However, that has nothing to do with my sex life nor my financial well being.

Actually, I really don't give a damned if you post here. I was just commenting that is it not logical to expect everyone and all web sites to do things YOUR way.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 12:34:50 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Why would I wish to discuss STDs with my friends? Believe me when I tell you that sexually transmitted diseases do not come up in our conversations. Why would they? We'd rather discuss our golf game, the latest books we are reading, and where we want to go to dinner. We'd have to be really bored to feel the need to discuss STDs.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 12:55:54 AM   
laika2000


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		well...i'd have to be exquisitely bored to discuss golf.

guess we'll never see eye to eye.

take care.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 1:34:22 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Isn't it wonderful how we are all unique? What works for one person is a complete dud with the next. We are all so marvelously different.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 5:53:36 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		FR
I have noticed that some people just write their particular STI circumstance within the text of their profiles.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 3:39:09 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		I just assume everyone I play with has everything, and ask accordingly. Has kept me safe so far

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 4:03:08 PM   
SharedLife


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/15/2011
Status: offline
quote:

I have noticed that some people just write their particular STI circumstance within the text of their profiles.
ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

The OP does actually state she is hpv2 + in her profile

quote:

I HAVE A RAGING CASE OF <snip> And I'm PROUD OF IT !!! WHOO HOOOOOO !!!!
ORIGINAL:JanahX

I know your a sock - but thats low ! There is a difference between someone being honest and not "ashamed", and their being "proud"

Peppermint, well, no comment !

The other side is a dating site it may or may not have been a suggestion all or even most would follow - but it didnt seem to me to be a "bad" suggestion, personally I give kudos to the OP for being honest and up front - and putting a "suggestion" out there that "might" help others.




< Message edited by SharedLife -- 2/27/2012 4:04:21 PM >

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 4:35:56 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:JanahX

I know your a sock - but thats low ! There is a difference between someone being honest and not "ashamed", and their being "proud"


whats low about it? It was just a SUGGESTION. If she doesnt want to take it, she duddent' have to.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to SharedLife)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: std's and safe play - 2/27/2012 4:48:24 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Having your HPV status in the first line of your profile is the most prominent place for it. Will some men ignore it? Sure. I added "not looking" in the first line of mine and while it did cut down, it didn't stop emails.

You can do a keyword search to see if other people have mentioned it in theirs.

(in reply to laika2000)
Profile   Post #: 20
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