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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:28:12 PM

kittinSol

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Well spotted. I hope you are in the legal profession rofl. Otherwise, time to consider a change of career!

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:34:02 PM

kittinSol

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Calandra, my comment at slaveroseofbeauty was a mere attempt at humouring a rather stark discussion. I don't mean to make it any more incendiary than it already is.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:44:25 PM

Pleasureprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I will say this, I do not have many problems, and yes I am blessed in that.. thanks for pointing this out to me. I will also say maybe it is my Aries nature, but I see people being put in harm's way for a bunch of BS and I will speak my mind on it. It is very cruel to out someone. Incomes and reputations can be destoyed. It would not matter much to me if I were outed, my career would not suffer, not everyone is that lucky. I might have a hard time explaining it to my teenage son, but at the same time I have tried to raise him to be accepting of others... it would be embarassing, but I would get over it.

As far as middle school stuff, well that is your opinion and you are welcome to it. I see it a little differently.... if it was your contact info posted on a site and your boss/parents/teachers/children saw a pic of you with socially unacceptable kinks listed in an email you sent someone you might not feel this was "middle school" stuff.

Everything I needed to learn I learned in Kindergarten.. wow that book title was right on...

I prefer the Golden Rule.... Do Unto Others as you would have them do unto you.... and I am not a Chrisitian even...lol

If people think that not reading a profile is an offense worthy of outting them to their entire community as a kinkster... well that reflects on them.. and I can drop it. Personally I think that the punishment should match the crime. I do not think someone should lose a job because someone didnt like what they wrote in an email or their kink.

I am often wrong, and if I am wrong about this.. I can live with that. I find it very easy to live with me... basically because I do follow the Golden Rule...

Let's quote it before she delets it.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:55:36 PM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pleasureprincess

Collar only lets you block so many people, after a while it's going to be full...

I don't think this is accurate. I, personally, haven't blocked anybody as I have no problem at all just ignoring people, lol, but I think the block list works as the favorites one does. Only twenty or so names might show up, but the block doesn't go away once name rolls off the list.

If I'm wrong, I'm sure someone will correct me. :)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:56:20 PM

Pleasureprincess

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Julia you don't have to be christian to follow that rule.
Same with sticks and stones. and play nice children, and if youcan't say something nice......
All sayings that we here have not followed through with too well.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 1:58:31 PM

Pleasureprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

I don't think this is accurate. I, personally, haven't blocked anybody as I have no problem at all just ignoring people, lol, but I think the block list works as the favorites one does. Only twenty or so names might show up, but the block doesn't go away once name rolls off the list.

If I'm wrong, I'm sure someone will correct me. :)

I was told mine was full after the 50 I had to block. and I just emptied it out not that long ago. Maybe it's upgraded now as well.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 2:03:29 PM

Calandra

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~scratches head~

You know whats interesting? I've been on collarme for over a year... shoot, mebbe closer to two years. I am one of those who tries to respond to everyone. Even if it's a no thank you... I have never had to block anyone. I find that a little kindness and compassion goes a long way. I mean, I get from ten to twenty emails a day without these kinds of problems everyone mentions.I wonder if it would be worth starting a thread....

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 2:07:59 PM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pleasureprincess

I was told mine was full after the 50 I had to block. and I just emptied it out not that long ago. Maybe it's upgraded now as well.

That's interestesting. I must have been thinking backwards. What I was thinking about was the full length of my "admirers" list, that I could see when they were testing the new version. I swear I'll be back up to speed when school is over. lol

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 2:11:39 PM

Pleasureprincess

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I had to block alot of women trying to get me to talk to their Doms about Domming me. and men trying to Top me when I declined their offers. Then got mail that was rude from others or people with multi profiles on here.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 4:03:50 PM

Calandra

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It's funny, I have never even "checked" my admirers or blocked or any other list here...

Interesting how different people use a website so well, differently

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 4:28:30 PM

kittinSol

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Hilarious, because I am so grateful I have an admirers' list at all, I sometimes write to the new ones to thank them! Never had to block anybody either, I think a little detachment in certain things to do with online can go a very, very long way.

Which is the very root of what this thread's been all about, isn't it? Some people take others far more seriously than necessary, and seem to enjoy getting offended: it gives them an excuse to get angry and send a return insult to the original 'offender'.

Still, and that's what got me on this thread to begin with, the whole discussion was compulsory for me to follow because of the subject, its implications, and the initial mystery as to whom it was all about.

Twists turns and waoh, it's dallasme.com.

*Deglazing a pan with red wine and breathing in the fumes.*

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 4:30:39 PM

genvieve

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Absolutely not, without a doubt. There is no reason whatsoever that anyO/one's information should be posted anywhere but here.

i'd remind said person that the same rules apply in a r/t dungeon scenario. What happens here, stays here. No names, email, whatever needs to be posted anywhere but here.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 4:48:59 PM

Sinergy

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Hello A/all,

Correct me if I am wrong, but apparently person X is posting contact information and the like on a blog, in order to revenge him/herself on people he/she is angry with, by outing them nonconsentually in the vanilla world. Notwithstanding the fact that such vengeance wreaked upon the poor unsuspecting illiterate twits may destroy their vanilla lives. Furthermore, said individual feels pride and satisfaction in doing this.

I guess I have a hard time having a high opinion of people who are vengeful and angry and vindictive towards other people, even the more intellectually challenged. Being the one who can be the last one standing after beating up all the other kids on the playground, doesnt seem like a very lofty ideal for a person to strive for in life.

Doesnt work for me, but I could be wrong.

Sinergy

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/4/2006 4:49:04 PM

Calandra

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I agree... I think when someone emails me that it's often a compliment...

Shoot, I'll sometimes contact someone through email that I'm not even INTERESTED in as a partner:
Maybe because they mention an interest I am wanting to learn about or experience - for advice.

Maybe because I appreciate the time and effort they've gone to in creating an interesting and seemingly sincere expression of themselves.

Maybe because they are in my area and I want to let them know there is a local munch and a discussion group.

Who knows all the reasons why... Not every email is a desperate wanker who can't/won't read full profiles....

Several months ago I contacted someone(I'll call her amy) who said they didn't want anyone over 35 to contact them... I did contact, because they were new to our area and new to BDSM... I expressly said "I know I do not fit your expectations, I'm contacting you because.... and gave contact info to local groups and resources.

My 22 yr old son is dominant and had decided to begin gaining skill in some areas - has asked me to help him find mentors in some specific areas.

A few weeks ago my son began dating this submissive girl that he said was very sweet and that he couldn't wait for me to meet her... When I met her, lo and behold it was amy! She was so appreciative of the resources I put her in touch with... how could I know I was helping someone who would ultimately wear my son's training collar????

I believe in Karma... spread negativity and it comes back to ya... spread positivity and that returns to you too, in spades.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/5/2006 5:43:47 AM

Calandra

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Update:
Apparently the blog is online still in various other places. I recieved several emails offsite from people who are just as concerned as I am about the ramifications of stuff like this. I feel that Collarme, and two other BDSM sites that are targeted in her various blogs will end up looking bad for the actions of one person.

I have taken steps to archive EVERYTHING this morning. I've visited every website that was emailed to me, and visited every page of this thread and saved images of every screen shot. I'd like to also have a friend hold copies of these files in case of a hard drive crash. Is it possible to email them or maybe burn these files onto a CD?

Help would be appreciated so that my actions and my words are preserved accurately.

Thank you.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/5/2006 8:01:37 AM

timeoutgurlie

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Then I was wrong, I believed it was fueled by anger and spite, I apologize.

I still can't help but feel it's a waste of precious energy, but I'm not in your shoes so I shouldn't necessarily assume it's just what it seems to me as a 3rd party.

Had someone been outed, then I may feel differently, but this seems to be just a possibility...a possibility of only a slightly higher degree than the chance someone may stumble upon their profile on this site. There's risk in all things, it's up to the individual to decide if it each risk they take is worth the potential repercussions. By posting a profile here that is revealing or easily associated to a person, that seems to say that it's worth the risk and they've accepted the possibility.

With all that said, I definitely respect your commitment to your friends and the desire to protect them from a perceived threat

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/5/2006 8:09:06 AM

timeoutgurlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I will say this, I do not have many problems, and yes I am blessed in that.. thanks for pointing this out to me. I will also say maybe it is my Aries nature, but I see people being put in harm's way for a bunch of BS and I will speak my mind on it. It is very cruel to out someone. Incomes and reputations can be destoyed. It would not matter much to me if I were outed, my career would not suffer, not everyone is that lucky. I might have a hard time explaining it to my teenage son, but at the same time I have tried to raise him to be accepting of others... it would be embarassing, but I would get over it.

As far as middle school stuff, well that is your opinion and you are welcome to it. I see it a little differently.... if it was your contact info posted on a site and your boss/parents/teachers/children saw a pic of you with socially unacceptable kinks listed in an email you sent someone you might not feel this was "middle school" stuff.

Everything I needed to learn I learned in Kindergarten.. wow that book title was right on...

I prefer the Golden Rule.... Do Unto Others as you would have them do unto you.... and I am not a Chrisitian even...lol

If people think that not reading a profile is an offense worthy of outting them to their entire community as a kinkster... well that reflects on them.. and I can drop it. Personally I think that the punishment should match the crime. I do not think someone should lose a job because someone didnt like what they wrote in an email or their kink.

I am often wrong, and if I am wrong about this.. I can live with that. I find it very easy to live with me... basically because I do follow the Golden Rule...

I'm an Aries also, and have done much the same when I feel there is someone or a group who needs defending, so I understand what you're saying.

I guess in the end my brain isn't comprehending why this happened in the first place, and why people with so much at stake would risk it by leaving themselves wide open for this kind of thing. It's so easy to have annonymity here, you choose everything anyone will see about you. Why not just be more private, discrete?

I understand to actually meet in real life, info exchange is required, for safety...but wait it out until someone's proven they're worthy of trust. from the sound of it, these victims gave out their personal info pretty flippantly.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/6/2006 9:09:33 AM

LMsdevotedone

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using fast reply here because if i would quote it would take way to long

16 pages and two cups of coffee later.
Even after the thread got locked down it kept on going. Slaverosebeauty did what she thought was right for her, in her mind and eyes she wanted to make her friends aware of people who either don't read a profile completly or cant read her replies. She never made a secret out of who she is and what she likes or dislikes. She is a very strongwilled woman with a very clear idea of what she wants in life. She made very clear in her profile also that she will post anything to the BOS that she things needs to be posted there.
One person who posted said that everybody is already outed on on CM through google. I checked my name and a few of my friends name and yes, the excact name shows up on google with your ad.
I think this whole thread is sad and it just scares me how vindictive people in this lifestyle can be.

saddened

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/6/2006 9:37:39 AM

OedipusRexIt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Outing anyone should be considered unethical regardless as to where one is outed.

Why?

Why should people live their lives ashamed of who they are and what they do?

There is a lot of anger in the gay community that so many homosexuals are in the closet. They feel that if everyone was "out" life would be much easier on them. I am not so sure they are wrong.

Taggard

WHY????? Because it's their business, and no one else's. That's why.

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/6/2006 9:49:52 AM

DreamMistress

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<<using fast reply so I can get back to work>>

I have watched this thread and I see a lot of immaturity from those who are pointing fingers.

Calandra openly admits that she has archived all the emails and pictures that she has received from others, why? You are breaking copywrite laws since they are not YOUR posts. Anyone who is in posession of those emails, blogs, or what have you, are breaking the law by posessing them. Looks like you are the one who is breaking the law. No offence, Calandra, but YOU and others are making the sites look bad. She just stood up for herself. Would you be as brave?

quote:

Update:
Apparently the blog is online still in various other places. I recieved several emails offsite from people who are just as concerned as I am about the ramifications of stuff like this. I feel that Collarme, and two other BDSM sites that are targeted in her various blogs will end up looking bad for the actions of one person.

I have taken steps to archive EVERYTHING this morning. I've visited every website that was emailed to me, and visited every page of this thread and saved images of every screen shot. I'd like to also have a friend hold copies of these files in case of a hard drive crash. Is it possible to email them or maybe burn these files onto a CD?

Help would be appreciated so that my actions and my words are preserved accurately.

Thank you.

Take a look at the blog now. She has updated it. Are you happy now. So many people have enjoyed reading it; all because a few people were 'outed' for being immautre babies. Its a sad day when people don't have naything better to do with their time than to destroy something that many of us have enjoyed.

Shame on all of you for not having lives and for doing something that has been needed int his community for a long time.

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