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Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 2:34:58 PM

sensualwordz

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I have found that there are very few people, men/doms who interest me, and even fewer who can "turn me on" but when I find that one i way too quickly lose my heart.
Which always means i get hurt, maybe im not hurt by others, but of course I want things to happen immediately, in my time and in my way.
And when that doesnt happen, I am hurt
Certainly a fault of mine, and i sure wish i could change it

What do you do If you lose your heart too easily or perhaps you dont

< Message edited by sensualwordz -- 3/30/2012 2:35:35 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 2:54:37 PM

Soyokaze

Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
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I'm way too trusting and if I feel an emotional connection with someone I fall for them way too fast. What do I do? Get hurt mostly T.T

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(in reply to sensualwordz)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 3:09:02 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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A very candid topic, thank you sensualwordz.

When I was young I lost my heart very easily. It was not hard, being attached to my pussy.

Now that I am older, I tell myself I know better. The truth is, if you can get into my mind, the rest is easy.

As far as what you do? You tell yourself how much better off you are emotionally from those who can't/won't follow their heart.

Yes, this means you get hurt a lot. And you try not to be too self righteous about why that is, b/c being hurt too easily *is* a fault, though one I prefer not to "correct."

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Post #: 3

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 3:20:06 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I never gave my heart that easily so it never got hurt. I didn't give my heart to someone until I met them in person and we dated and I got to know them and realized we both were in love with another. Until then they were just a person like any other person in the entire world.

Maybe stop giving yourself over so easily and take your time. Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.

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Post #: 4

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 4:36:50 PM

Soyokaze

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Joined: 4/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never gave my heart that easily so it never got hurt. I didn't give my heart to someone until I met them in person and we dated and I got to know them and realized we both were in love with another. Until then they were just a person like any other person in the entire world.

Maybe stop giving yourself over so easily and take your time. Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.

Haha, what a piece of work. Relationships go bad in the real world too you know. Assuming we were all so shallow as to fall for people we never met is rather insulting.

_____________________________

"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

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Post #: 5

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 4:48:33 PM

littlecherie

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Joined: 3/29/2012
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It happens. It does suck when it doesn't work out, but you learn to move on. Now, I have a great guy who I rushed into things with, and things are pretty damn good.

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Post #: 6

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 5:19:03 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
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I give my heart too easily as well... yeah I get hurt... but I only have ever given it to guys that I had met in real life... I would prefer to give too easily than never give at all.

(in reply to littlecherie)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 6:23:45 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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I would say no, but my friends would say yes. I think what I do is I am a little more open about myself than some men are used to - or comfortable with. (It would do me well to remember that men and women are from different planets, I think.) I suppose it does open me up for eventual pain, but to be honest, it's never really backfired in such a disastrous way before as it has just recently. And besides, there have been very, very, very few men that I have met that I would ever throw myself out to the wolves like that for in the first place.

I suppose I'm still smarting a bit. I didn't know him well enough to say I lost my heart. I did, though, lose some serious pride.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 7:24:28 PM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
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I'd say yes, but then, I don't inhabit emotional grey areas well.

The long, slow evolution of a relationship out of a friendship just doesn't seem to happen for me. I've had long, slow friendships, with some nice and even decently compatible guys, but I found that if they didn't blossom into anything after a couple months, then they were pretty much destined to be that - friendships.

Conversely, if I find a guy I click with, things can heat up pretty fast. The speed will depend on how much time we talk, but I'd say after forty to fifty hours of conversation time ( in person or online, and whether it's spread out over days, weeks, or months ) and at least three or four twenty-four-hour days spent together is enough, usually, for me to fall for someone I like.

No, it's not a guarantee of a successful relationship, but "How quickly I fall in love" and "How long it takes to build a mutually satisfying relationship" are different things.

(in reply to sensualwordz)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 7:26:58 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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You know, this topic is always confusing to me. I love rather easily and have no fear in doing so. For me, love and trust are two different things. One would hope they would go together but I have found myself loving people not worthy of trust or respect. I don't mind loving and getting hurt. For me, love is certainly not something I am going to run out of. It is not something I was born with a finite amount of that I need to give it sparingly. The supply is endless.

Trust, well that is an entirely different animal. To bring someone fully into my life, my home, my family, I have to trust them.

To want to spend time with a person, I have to enjoy being with them. Not many people do I really enjoy being around.

For me to want them to stick around, I have to trust them, love them and intensely enjoy being with them. One quality does not guarantee the others. Finding all three in one person, that is special.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sensualwordz)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 8:33:55 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Sexual chemistry is not the same as love.

I actually suggest writing down two lists. One of qualities you know you need in a partner. And one of qualities you know are a deal breaker if they possess.

Then go through the list. Make sure they possess almost all of the things you really need and none of the ones that you know will cause the relationship to fail. If they don't have what you need, or have stuff you know won't work for you, then wish them good luck and end it early.

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Post #: 11

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 9:01:03 PM

Kaliko

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Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Sexual chemistry is not the same as love.

I actually suggest writing down two lists. One of qualities you know you need in a partner. And one of qualities you know are a deal breaker if they possess.

Then go through the list. Make sure they possess almost all of the things you really need and none of the ones that you know will cause the relationship to fail. If they don't have what you need, or have stuff you know won't work for you, then wish them good luck and end it early.

So hard to do, though. Making sure a man possesses qualities on a list is nothing compared to feeling slammed a little bit in the gut upon first sight. I find it hard not to give that man that affects me that way every chance, despite what he may or may not have that would be on my "list" because ... there just aren't that many times in a life when I will want to give a man every chance. There's something about him, then, if I do. I actually don't really believe in wishing them good luck and ending it early. If there's something there, I think it's worth waiting around to see how it all shakes out.

Of course, I'm currently single, sooo....LOL....my approach might not be the best.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 9:55:28 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never gave my heart that easily so it never got hurt. I didn't give my heart to someone until I met them in person and we dated and I got to know them and realized we both were in love with another. Until then they were just a person like any other person in the entire world.

Maybe stop giving yourself over so easily and take your time. Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.

Haha, what a piece of work. Relationships go bad in the real world too you know. Assuming we were all so shallow as to fall for people we never met is rather insulting.

It wasn't meant to be insulting. It was meant to be realistic. If you're falling for someone with only online interactions, for all you know, you're falling for a horny 16 year old.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Soyokaze)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/30/2012 11:14:15 PM

artemiss

Posts: 88
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I wish I had something helpful to ad here.

Unfortunately emotions are something very few of us are able to control. Personally, I rarely fall in love. When I do, it is always too quickly and with the worst possible people :-(

(in reply to sensualwordz)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 4:19:26 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Sexual chemistry is not the same as love.

I actually suggest writing down two lists. One of qualities you know you need in a partner. And one of qualities you know are a deal breaker if they possess.

Then go through the list. Make sure they possess almost all of the things you really need and none of the ones that you know will cause the relationship to fail. If they don't have what you need, or have stuff you know won't work for you, then wish them good luck and end it early.

So hard to do, though. Making sure a man possesses qualities on a list is nothing compared to feeling slammed a little bit in the gut upon first sight. I find it hard not to give that man that affects me that way every chance, despite what he may or may not have that would be on my "list" because ... there just aren't that many times in a life when I will want to give a man every chance. There's something about him, then, if I do. I actually don't really believe in wishing them good luck and ending it early. If there's something there, I think it's worth waiting around to see how it all shakes out.

Of course, I'm currently single, sooo....LOL....my approach might not be the best.

And...what we have on our "list" may very well be all wrong for us.

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 5:03:37 AM

Soyokaze

Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It wasn't meant to be insulting. It was meant to be realistic. If you're falling for someone with only online interactions, for all you know, you're falling for a horny 16 year old.

You still don't get it and it's rather naive of you to think so. No one here is talking about online interactions.

_____________________________

"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 6:18:57 AM

littlecherie

Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It wasn't meant to be insulting. It was meant to be realistic. If you're falling for someone with only online interactions, for all you know, you're falling for a horny 16 year old.

This is why you do videochat, as Master and I did :) We did it every night. The first time we met was when I moved in with him.

_____________________________

LIGHTS
(hellionsLight)

http://anewslave.blogspot.com

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 6:56:22 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never gave my heart that easily so it never got hurt. I didn't give my heart to someone until I met them in person and we dated and I got to know them and realized we both were in love with another. Until then they were just a person like any other person in the entire world.

Maybe stop giving yourself over so easily and take your time. Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.

Haha, what a piece of work. Relationships go bad in the real world too you know. Assuming we were all so shallow as to fall for people we never met is rather insulting.

Perhaps you've not read the threads after threads about exactly this happening. Falling for someone online and being disappointed IRL was exactly where I went mentally. After doing it myself, I started assiduously practicing non-attachment until I'd know someone IRL for a while.

(in reply to Soyokaze)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 7:00:23 AM

whatisthewhat

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/12/2011
Status: offline

Whatever works...Video chat would not be enough for me to make the decision to move in with someone. I hope things are working out wonderfully for you.

However, many would view it as unwise that after a 4th date, I spent the entire weekend with my first Master and then basically moved into his place within two weeks of that. I was head over heels. I listened to no one else when it came to caution. I lost my heart and apparently my mind because I soon found out that he had another slave, and I am not polyamorous.

I've never been so hasty in my judgements since.

(in reply to littlecherie)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 8:25:19 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

I give my heart away easily as well, I feel strongly, quickly, and I really would not like that to change. I form attachments quickly if the time is invested. However long ago I learned that while it is a bit reckless, you have to not have an expectation of return, an expectation of specific results.

You have to love without condition to avoid that disappointment, which is a very hard thing to do.

(in reply to sensualwordz)

Post #: 20

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