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RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/3/2012 4:44:22 AM

ProlificNeeds

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In reference to a thread on the poly forum I would hazard.

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Post #: 41

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/3/2012 9:12:01 AM

SweetDommes

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Fast reply:

I agree with the majority here - read the profile and if they have specific things that they say they do or don't want (for example, our profile states to not use "mistress" or "ma'am") then go with that.

As for asking permission to "approach" - dude, it's online, you've already messaged, so on the basis of contact on the site, you've already approached. If you're asking if you can approach in real life, well, that's just creepy at that stage. Mostly, I roll my eyes and delete those messages without a reply. People have been in the chat rooms too long if they think that is how it has to work.

About the 'slashy speak' - it always looks to me like people are stuttering ... and while I don't have a problem with that in real life (as I occasionally stutter), online, there is no excuse for it. I'm also a card-carrying member of the grammar and spelling police - I may not be perfect, but being raised by an elementary school teacher will do that to you and I always proofread my e-mails/posts at least a few times before hitting ok (unless the computer decides to post it for me before I'm ready ... and yes, that does happen).

Beyond that, say something about the profile - something that interested you and made you want to e-mail. I'm always much more interested in messages that ask things like "what games do you play" or "It's so nice living out in the country" or "do you actually remember all the names of all of your animals" ... something ... ANYTHING ... that shows that you actually read the profile and paid attention to it.

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Post #: 42

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/4/2012 7:21:57 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sklavo87

Hello all,

Ive read in a few profiles of dominant women that they want men who write them to "practice proper protocol" and ask for permission to approach.... What exactly does this mean? Is it impolite to some to send a message saying, "Hey, Im so and so, I read your profile and wanted to introduce myself..."... Ive messaged quite a few Dommes who I felt I was compatible with to introduce myself and a majority of the time, I dont get a response back... Is it against kink protocol to send an introductory message/photo to without asking permission? If so, how do you go about asking permission?

Thanks for your help,
sklavo

Bud....haven't read your profile but I'm gonna guess you're young.

Here's the deal:

There are (EXACTLY) 4,379,822,617,409,201,323 male subs to every 1 (possibly 2 or 3) Dommes.

Do the math.

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Post #: 43

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/5/2012 6:53:03 AM

Lucifyre

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I may not be perfect, but being raised by an elementary school teacher will do that to you and I always proofread

My GM was a 3rd grade teacher for 35 years. I was raised by her and I swear every single time I opened my mouth when I was young she would correct me before answering me.
There was also of course the finger to the middle of my back at the dinner table to remind me to sit up or the flick to my elbows to get them off the table as well.
I tend to drive folks around me a little goofy because I too have picked up the habit of correcting people when they speak. Most of the time I don't catch myself until it's halfway out which can prove to be a tiny bit embarrassing in the wrong situations LOL.

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Post #: 44

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/5/2012 9:39:20 AM

SweetDommes

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Oh, working in the prison system, when I receive health care requests, I always want to correct the spelling/grammar on them. A couple of times, I threatened to take the ones from the juvies, black out the identifying information, and send them to the English teacher and ask what the heck he was teaching them ... lol

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Post #: 45

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/5/2012 6:01:41 PM

SnowRanger

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Every time I failed to proofread I have regretted it. My fingers get tangled up something fierce.

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Post #: 46

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 4:15:46 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
You make a really good point here - "Everyone has their own taste". I'd bet that Peon's approach is natural for him, and if it is the kind of approach that would turn you off then he's done you (and himself) a favour as I suspect that someone who wasn't amused / engaged by his style (even if only a little) wouldn't be his cup of tea - and vice versa.

That's my read on it assuming we're talking about any sort of relationship rather than just scenes. In the end, you're going to have to bring your actual self to the relationship right? So why not simply lead with it?

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 4/6/2012 4:16:10 AM >

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Post #: 47

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 4:41:02 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
In the end, you're going to have to bring your actual self to the relationship right? So why not simply lead with it?

Careful, Jeff. Sounds a bit too sensible to me. This real world stuff can be dangerous ;-)

Seriously: True. They always say, "Be yourself". Well, the submissive part of oneself is only one aspect of the personality. Presumably you want to be able show other aspects, too. Words that also say, 'This is my ability to relate to you, this is my intelligence, this is my humour. This is how I could be good company for you'. All that can be done in just a few sentences.

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Post #: 48

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 7:35:00 AM

OttersSwim

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
In the end, you're going to have to bring your actual self to the relationship right? So why not simply lead with it?

Careful, Jeff. Sounds a bit too sensible to me. This real world stuff can be dangerous ;-)

Seriously: True. They always say, "Be yourself". Well, the submissive part of oneself is only one aspect of the personality. Presumably you want to be able show other aspects, too. Words that also say, 'This is my ability to relate to you, this is my intelligence, this is my humour. This is how I could be good company for you'. All that can be done in just a few sentences.

THIS! It all boils down to those two lines!

And it is something that so few people actually get. Instead they lead with:

"Hey here's my dick!"

or

"Hey I'm a dick!"

or

"Hey, fulfill my 24/7 (__insert Kink here__)"

Good on you P for stating it so clearly!

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 4/6/2012 7:36:29 AM >

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Post #: 49

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 10:08:08 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Presumably you want to be able show other aspects, too. Words that also say, 'This is my ability to relate to you, this is my intelligence, this is my humour. This is how I could be good company for you'.

But don't the dick pictures that I send to every woman on CM do all of that? I'm confused.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 4/6/2012 10:09:32 AM >

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Post #: 50

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 11:46:34 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Good on you P for stating it so clearly!

Thanks, Otters - I have the odd rare moment of lucidity! ;-)

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Post #: 51

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 11:48:30 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Presumably you want to be able show other aspects, too. Words that also say, 'This is my ability to relate to you, this is my intelligence, this is my humour. This is how I could be good company for you'.

But don't the dick pictures that I send to every woman on CM do all of that? I'm confused.

I'm sure your dick pics convey your suaveness just like any other pics of you, Roch!

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 52

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 2:39:03 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sklavo87

Hello all,

Ive read in a few profiles of dominant women that they want men who write them to "practice proper protocol" and ask for permission to approach.... What exactly does this mean? Is it impolite to some to send a message saying, "Hey, Im so and so, I read your profile and wanted to introduce myself..."... Ive messaged quite a few Dommes who I felt I was compatible with to introduce myself and a majority of the time, I dont get a response back... Is it against kink protocol to send an introductory message/photo to without asking permission? If so, how do you go about asking permission?

Thanks for your help,
sklavo

Hi Miss <username>,

I read your journal entry where you talked about <something>, and it reminded me of an experience I had. <One sentence about you.>

I noticed you requested proper protocol, so may I have permission to ask you more about that? What you wrote interested me.

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Post #: 53

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 3:55:03 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tng

quote:

Stupid and inane generally works for me, I find.
Me too.

Which is a good thing, because smart and sensible is way too much work, right?

Darn .... these remarks make ME really MISS a Lady A used to know!

And like, Stop looking at me like I mis-spelled something!

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Post #: 54

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 4:02:15 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I'm sure your dick pics convey your suaveness just like any other pics of you, Roch!

Ohhhh, can I pet it and call it Rico? Pretty please?

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Post #: 55

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 4:03:22 PM

mnottertail

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Do you know how many women want Roch's Big Blue Cock?

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Post #: 56

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 4:12:29 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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Now to you ....

I just read your profile. And honestly, it is a really big part of the problem, when you are looking for a Domme.

You are a switch and write about it.

And while that is okay, if it is really you; it is not a RECOMMENDED way to meet a Dominant Lady online.

As many have said before me, protocol has little to do with it.

Writing politely is the key. And only about 10% of your emails will get a response.

So how to help yourself get one?

If you are looking for a Domme, rewrite that profile.

There are tips early in the "ask a Mistress" thread. And be a submissive, as well as a gentleman.

Being a gentleman is 90% of it in writing.

Then you have a leg up in approaching the 10% real life Dommes on here. Cause there are lots of fakes, too.

And that protocol thing is a clue that one is.

PS: try a munch or meeting in the Metro Detroit Area. They exist ... if in doubt ... perhaps someone in that area will point you in the direction.

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Post #: 57

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 5:02:45 PM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSylverdawn

Polite .. concise.. funny...

You have summed me up so well.....Right down to the frog part.

Love and kisses.......kermit.

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Post #: 58

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 5:24:43 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
And like, Stop looking at me like I mis-spelled something!

'Mis-spelled' was a misspelling there, S02. It should have been 'misspelled'. Just saying.

Sorry, but I just came over all desperate for a smugness-fix, all of a sudden. ;-)

(I get that way when I haven't bonked anyone for too long. :-( )

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Post #: 59

RE: "proper protocol" in approaching a dominant - 4/6/2012 5:31:44 PM

Politesub53

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Misspelt damnit. Whats wrong with todays kids.