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"Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:50:28 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy. Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:55:17 AM

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

I think respect should be shown to everyone, sub, Dom or whatever. And emails should be given a polite response unless they're from obvious trolls.

But it can get irritating when you've replied politely, told him you have a partner, and the next email is, "When will we meet?"

Like, never?

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:58:54 AM

Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

i offer the same respect and courtesy to everyone regardless of who they are. i ask for permission before responding to a Dom though. the minute the lines crossed they get ignored, they lost my respect flat out.

i suppose i feel different in the way of some that i am not just a sub, i am Sabs subs. i submit only to Him and nobody else.

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."

(in reply to becca333)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:58:59 AM

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

No one owes anybody a reply.

There is a huge difference between showing someone respect and politeness/courtesy.

You are male and identify as a dominant. You probably do not receive half the mails single/not single female submissive types get. And just because you identify as a dominant does not automatically make you a dominant personality to me. We are still equals. We are still people.

If someone hasn't responded to your approach, maybe its because you just are not what they are looking out for. Maybe your approach was bad. Maybe you did not read their profile correctly (I get alot of those).

No one owes you, as a self assessed dominant anything in return. It is just life. Pick up - move on.

Peace and Love

*edit darn typos.. I really need to get my nails trimmed....

< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 6/5/2006 8:00:04 AM >

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:01:30 AM

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

exactly sub Dom whatever there should be respect you shouldt get specaile treatment for being a Dom you think an e-mail should always be sent back to a Dom well subs should get the same respect

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:02:06 AM

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:04:25 AM

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

With all due respect.....what of the profiles that already indicate that someone is taken, collared, or unavailable, yet that is disrespectfully 'overlooked'?
Unfortunately, from time to time, my patience and courtesy is running on empty when I continuously reply "No thank you", "I am not available (just as my profile states)"....so yeah, more often than not I delete and move on and do not give a second thought to replying respectfully or as a common courtesy.....there comes a time when my give-a-damn gets broken.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy. Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:09:14 AM

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.

All the easier to use the magnifying glass.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:17:35 AM

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy. Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL

Courtesy is polite and proper. Personal respect is earned, in my opinion. Actually, polite courtesy IS respectful to the degree that a perfect stranger/individual should receive. However, if someone says something inappropriate or is rude, I do not believe that one must spend much time being overly polite. I am never rude in an initial response. However, if someone persists in messaging me inappropriately, they will find themselves ignored.

zuma

Edited to add that the previously mentioned problems huge numbers of mails and Doms failing to read/respect profile information is a factor in how they are responded to. For myself, I've even posted to my journal trying to get people to pay attention. Those who ignore all signs and expose themselves as disrespectful and thoughtless do not deserve much from me.

< Message edited by zumala -- 6/5/2006 8:20:25 AM >

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:20:41 AM

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

~ponders the temptation thoughtfully~

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:21:10 AM

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

I agree entirely with darkinshadows, sometimes I haven't the time or the care to get back to it, if my pro says "looking for local females" why should I have to waste my time replying to e-mails just to restate what's already in my profile?

(in reply to zumala)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:21:23 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

How about respecting what my profile says about not seeing anyone else right now? You have to give respect to engender its return to you. Making a profile and sending emails does not make anyone a dom. I owe human beings basic respect... I owe someone that calls himself a dom no more respect than I give anyone else.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:23:57 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

You know, we get alot of these kind of rants here on the boards....a few a week usually

. You're going to get shot down with all of the "Well you're not MY Dom" kind of excuses so be prepared. I think that I understand what you and alot of others are complaining about though. Just a little politeness would go a long way correct? Now one has to get in a snit and start defending themselves or their relationship...just a little politeness.

I understand why people answer this type of question how they do...heck I've done it myself. We hear this ALL the time. We who are subs/slaves also get an awful lot of it coming from the other side.
Just the sheer volumes of these types of complaints though ought to tell us that there is indeed a bit of a problem though. Nope, I don't think that anyone should have to call another person by some title right at first contact either. No one should have to be bowing or on their knees before someone they don't even know. But a little politeness.......yeah......that would go a long way.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:30:00 AM

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

I'm a pretty courteous person in my real life, but this is the net, and if there's some dumbass sending me messages that consist of "Hi" or "Looking for a Daddy lil girl? I bet you've been naughty" or the worst of all, the chain letters...I have to deal with stupid people in real life because they're...well, REAL. The net has one hugely effective tool life just doesn't have...the option to make someone disappear with the click of a mouse.

It'd be criminal NOT to use it

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:32:32 AM

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.

All the easier to use the magnifying glass.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to becca333)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:39:51 AM

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Ok, a more serious response. I agree with the politeness going a long way. I also agree with it going both ways. If a dom wants respect, then the dom needs to read the profile. If seeing a sub is not looking, or taken. Move on and leave it alone. Upon reading that one is single n looking.... roll the dice and see what happens. If no response .... you got your answer. Depending on the stupid one liner.... or long nicely thought out e-mail gets answered or not..... all you can do is see how it goes. Doms have to remember.... others have come before you....showing their asses. And subs get tired of it. Just as some doms get e-mails from single subs... not taking no for an answer either. Or get the e-mail from owned subs looking something better than what they're in. If you're a dom who hasn't been bothered.... thank your lucky stars.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to NCSilverWolves)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:52:19 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy. Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL

It's funny how, as we get older, different things strike different people in different ways.

I know very few on here. The ones I do know I have taken the time to get to know and when I email them, I do so with what is me...courtesy, small thoughts, large thoughts, humor, anger, lust, flirtatious gibes, all the stuff that is me...but always with courtesy. What respect anyone shows me is what they feel I have earned and the fact that I identify myself as dominant has...for the most part...little to do with it. It is more that when I first contacted them, I was courteous. Usually, when I have contacted someone, it has been due to something they have written on the board or in reply to something they've sent me.

The only time I have expected respect has been when I attended a "high-protocol" night at the society I belong to in Colorado. But there again...my actions were also governed by a set of rules.

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 8:53:07 AM

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

In my humble opinion respect is earnt and you cannot truly respect sum1 u do not know.

Whilst i agree it is polite to reply to all messages if only to say thank you but no thank you sometimes it is just not possible. From talking to several Dom's on here they just do not get the volume of messages that we female subs do. I do try to respond to most but some just don't get my attention.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 9:31:15 AM

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I save my respect and courtesy for my real time encounters.
It's a small reserve and I'd hate to use it all up on online wankers and not have any left for the nice little old man next door who needs help carrying in his groceries.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to DOM4POLY)

RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 10:14:53 AM

Posts: 91
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala

Courtesy is polite and proper. Personal respect is earned, in my opinion. Actually, polite courtesy IS respectful to the degree that a perfect stranger/individual should receive. However, if someone says something inappropriate or is rude, I do not believe that one must spend much time being overly polite. I am never rude in an initial response. However, if someone persists in messaging me inappropriately, they will find themselves ignored.

I agree very much with what you've said here zuma. I make a point to try and respond to all the e-mails I get, but level of respect the person receives in my reply is reflected from what they've written me. In other words: show some common courtesy, and I'll do the same.

An obvious troll will get either no reply or a curt "no thanks"...and be added to my iggy list if necessary. A person who has taken the time to show some intellect and craft an e-mail of some substance AND respect will ALWAYS get a reply from me of the same quality, as soon as I'm able to. If I'm not able to respond in a timely manner, collarme has those wonderful little "Auto-Response" buttons to reply to e-mails, and each one of them is polite and respectful. I'm not usually one for form letters, but in my opinion they're better than no response at all if someone has taken the time out of their day to write me.

The Auto-Response e-mails are all customizable, but if you haven't used them before, they look like the following:

BUSY: Thank you for writing to me. I have received a large number of messages and am unable to respond to each one individually at this time. I will be responding to my messages in more detail when I am better able to do so.

INVOLVED: Thank you for writing to me. Please note that I am presently involved in a relationship and am therefore unable consider other offers at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your search!

THANK YOU: Thank you for the kind words and good luck in your search!

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves

Doms have to remember.... others have come before you....showing their asses. And subs get tired of it. Just as some doms get e-mails from single subs... not taking no for an answer either. Or get the e-mail from owned subs looking something better than what they're in. If you're a dom who hasn't been bothered.... thank your lucky stars.

Well said. Whether Dom/mes or subs, we've all gotten unwanted e-mails....and if you haven't yet, well....you will soon enough.

Common courtesy goes a long way, both online and off.

glidewynd

(in reply to missturbation)

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