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Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 5:52:00 PM

emmy1960

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When a sub and Dom differ in opinions, and have an disagreement, is the Dom always right??

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 5:55:38 PM

SassySarijane

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No is the simple answer. Your question is very broad. No one is right all of the time and different opinions on something doesn't make either party right or wrong necessarily. Doms and Masters are not omnipotent, all-knowing entities, they really aren't. They can be wrong and can make mistakes. They are only human.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 5:58:27 PM

Endivius

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Are you serious? Right and wrong are a matter of perspective. What you should be asking yourself is, "Do I accept the perspective of my Dom?" If the answer is yes, decide how this newfound knowledge will impact you and your relationship. If the answer is no, you warrant more discussion with said Dom. If you two cannot recconcile on this matter the next question you should be asking yourself is, "If I cannot accept his perspective, do I wish to continue to see him, or does this singular view so outrageously outweigh everything else in our relationship?"

You are welcome.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:00:54 PM

lizi

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You'll hate this answer but it depends. If there is an overarching agreement in the relationship that the Dom/Master is always right then he is. Unless he's asking for personal harm to the submissive or slave, or wishes compliance on something that they cannot do like a hard limit. The purpose of D/s is to put power in one person's hands from another, if you gave that power to someone then they should have it to do what they think is best. That is why it's hard to follow through on giving this to someone as you may be asked to do some difficult things. If you have a reservation with what they wish to do then express that reservation, in the end you chose the arrangement, it's probably best you honor it, unless it's harmful as I mentioned earlier.

Unless this is just a Dom and not YOUR Dom we're talking about. Then a stranger's opinion wouldn't matter to me as I wouldn't have a D/s exchange with them.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:04:24 PM

LadyPact

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The quick answer is that I don't have to be right. What does have to happen is a respectful attitude and obedience as necessary.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:06:06 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: emmy1960
When a sub and Dom differ in opinions, and have an disagreement, is the Dom always right??

In my marriage "What Jeff thinks is right, IS right."

So yes. I expect Carol to change her opinions on demand. The flip side, however, is that there are plenty of times when Carol says something which changes my opinion of rightness.

What is true in my marriage isn't some sort of true way that ought to mean anything to anyone else.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:06:14 PM

tazzygirl

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Im reading that as you saying you dont have to be right.... but do it anyways.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:11:19 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

When a sub and Dom differ in opinions, and have an disagreement, is the Dom always right??

No.

What's your particular situation?

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:14:25 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Im reading that as you saying you dont have to be right.... but do it anyways.

Rather, it means if you have an issue, you need to discuss it with Me. If it's something stupid like how to fold a shirt or the way to load a dishwasher, chances are, yes, I'm going to tell you to do it My way.

If it's a bigger deal, like a form of play that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies, but it's not actually a limit, if you can't give Me a reason better than 'rather not', I'm going to conduct the play.

Should I have happened to come across those "oh, hell no" areas, I still expect you to communicate that as a reasonable human being. (Anybody who is Mine will probably already have let Me know about serious limits.) Really though, if I'm competent, it's not like I'm going to be challenging hard limits on a constant basis. We might be able to cross some, over time, but those are situations that shouldn't come up every day.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:14:43 PM

emmy1960

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It isn't a relationship, we were just talking and that was something that came up. He feels that if there is a disagreement of any kind, HE would be right since he is the Dom.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:15:24 PM

kalikshama

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NEXT!

Some men want to be Doms because they are tired of arguing with women and have failed to realize that women argue with them because they are WRONG.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 6/10/2012 6:18:33 PM >

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:18:30 PM

littlewonder

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Depends on your relationship.

In mine....yes.

That doesn't say he doesn't listen to my side...he does, but in the end what he says goes. No more discussion.

If it was anyone other than him, unless Master has told me otherwise, I do not have to agree and I'll most likely laugh and walk away.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 6/10/2012 6:20:59 PM >

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:20:10 PM

SassySarijane

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Yup, agree with kalikshama, NEXT! Being the dom doesn't automatically make one right and no way would I want any involvement with one who said and believed it to be so. That is asking for trouble.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 6:34:47 PM

Karmastic

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all good answers above.

in general, if you're a sub or slave, you should already be accepting his wisdom and judgement, even if you think he's wrong. everyone has varying degrees of this both in and out of bed.

that being said, if you're disagreeing too much, then he isn't the right D for you.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 7:17:45 PM

sweetbiggal

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 7:19:41 PM

Katayotta

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Unless that Dom can predict the future and constantly keep you well paid and out of danger......no. But there are two sides to every story and perspective matters much.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 7:29:25 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

NEXT!

Some men want to be Doms because they are tired of arguing with women and have failed to realize that women argue with them because they are WRONG.

Yes this. Mine does have the final say in many things but I am allowed to voice my opinion and even disagree.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 7:40:11 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: emmy1960

It isn't a relationship, we were just talking and that was something that came up. He feels that if there is a disagreement of any kind, HE would be right since he is the Dom.

Is this something you could live with? If not maybe he's not the right person for you. It doesn't really matter what the 'rule' is, as you can see by the different answers there isn't any rules. What matters is how people choose to set up their lives and structure their interactions with each other. He can say whatever he likes, if you decide to climb on board with him then you either agree with him or you don't agree with this idea and the two of you part ways. Or you can both reach a compromise. You know....regular relationship stuff.

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 7:58:03 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: emmy1960
It isn't a relationship, we were just talking and that was something that came up. He feels that if there is a disagreement of any kind, HE would be right since he is the Dom.

He does, does he? That's pretty amusing to me. Carol goes with I'm right because she knows me well enough to know that's probably true. It isn't some sort of ridiculous "because I'm the Dom". Honestly, I don't think anything at all should happen "because I'm the Dom". I think carol obeys because Of a lot of complicated reasons and she trusts because I'm trustworthy. "The Dom" is just a label.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Is the Dom/Master always right? - 6/10/2012 8:09:37 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Im reading that as you saying you dont have to be right.... but do it anyways.

Rather, it means if you have an issue, you need to discuss it with Me. If it's something stupid like how to fold a shirt or the way to load a dishwasher, chances are, yes, I'm going to tell you to do it My way.

If it's a bigger deal, like a form of play that doesn't give you the warm fuzzies, but it's not actually a limit, if you can't give Me a reason better than 'rather not', I'm going to conduct the play.

Should I have happened to come across those "oh, hell no" areas, I still expect you to communicate that as a reasonable human being. (Anybody who is Mine will probably already have let Me know about serious limits.) Really though, if I'm competent, it's not like I'm going to be challenging hard limits on a constant basis. We might be able to cross some, over time, but those are situations that shouldn't come up every day.

One of the man reasons I like you, LP. I thought that was what you were getting at. I just love seeing you explain it more in depth. And, as usual, thank you for not taking offence with my post.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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