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LadyPact -> RE: Help (7/6/2012 12:48:57 PM)
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ORIGINAL: JeffBC
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
In other words, something, ANYTHING, besides, "brand new, never done it before, but it sounded cool for a screen name" type of deal.
That almost makes sense to me. The problem there is I think back to a few years back when I decided to go this path to start with. I used the labels "master" and "slave" more as a statement of intent than an actual, on the ground reality. Clearly I did not master Carol on day one... or year one for that matter. There was this transitional period which stretched years before the sort of obedience I expect now was feasible or appropriate. Reasonably (in my mind at least) I was a new master trying to figure out what that meant. That is exactly the point. You don't Master someone from day one and you certainly haven't Mastered somebody that you've never met. It's like calling yourself a violinist when you've never played the violin.
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It's that transitional period that bothers me with this viewpoint which says "you gotta have experience". By implication there is some sort of progress tree by which one could measure one's progress. But I don't think any such path exists. I'm not at all convinced that M/s is just D/s but moreso. What label should a new person who wishes to go that path use? Where's the authoritative BDSM body which is defining these labels and establishing the test criteria?
Don't think I'm making noise just because the word is "Master" compared to anything else. I'm the same way with other terms. A person can call themselves a slave all they want, but if they have never lived under the authority of another, I'm not going to take that seriously, either. All of those couples looking for a third, but have never had more than two people in a relationship? Call yourself poly all you want, but it doesn't mean the same to Me as those who have actually lived that way. There's a big difference between something you have really done and something you are wishing to do.
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My response to all of this is very different. For me, I recognize that none of the BDSM labels mean much of anything. So if someone wants to call themselves a whatever that's perfectly fine with me. I see the label as decoration, nothing more. It's the descriptive paragraph which follows the label that means something to me. It's also what I would judge by... "Do this person's actions line up with the picture they have painted of themselves." But, for instance, I acknowledge that [sex] slave is a perfectly fine label even though I'd call that a bottom.
With no offense intended, that's because we see it in two different ways. If you had not Mastered Carol, what would be the difference to you? I believe you have stated more than once that it is just a title that can be used to describe the type of relationship that you have. You are the teenager who's parents bought him a car for his birthday, when others were working every day with a goal in mind.
Here's a bit of a circular logic question for you. Many of us here happen to know that you are an engineer by trade. Are you an engineer because you have a piece of paper or are you an engineer because of all of the learning and studying you had to do to earn that degree? No taking the easy answer because of what employers want. What is the answer to you? The one that really means something.
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