Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Honor?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Honor? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 5:35:45 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Well If they had morals and honour and didn't fuck
around I wouldn't call them trash, they would be
"trailer persons"

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 5:40:12 PM   
doctorgrey


Posts: 373
Status: offline 		It's a website and a couple of shops selling kinky clothing, toys, and acutraments.

DrG

_____________________________

.


landing itself was nothing
we touched upon a shelf of rock selected by the automind
and left
a galaxy of dreams
behind

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 5:43:00 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I forgot to respond to the second part... how does honor manifest in my daily life?

For me, it's a constant part of my decision making process. It manifests because the highest weighted part of my decision tree does not include "what's good for Jeff". I find myself making decisions all the time which are not altogether "good for Jeff" but are, for other reasons, the right thing to do. Often times that's because I've made a promise but unlike most of you, that also isn't the highest part of my tree. "Doing good" is. I suspect that people who are around me very quickly figure out how I evaluate choices and they find me dependable in that. I think oft-times people are bewildered by my evaluation process when they first know me because it is not normal.

For example I just stunned a business contact by turning down free money... money which my own organization desperately needs and I'm on the hook for. I suspect they were a little baffled but the other things that money was targeted for were just plain more important than my own needs (think... children's hospitals and the like). I'd rather see the children's hospital get the money and I'll just work harder to develop other revenue streams.

I also find my own sense of honor showing up brightly when I am evaluating other people. My assessment of their honor has everything to do with whether they will be associated with me.

Heh, I'm willing to sacrifice my self on the alter of my honor, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my honor on the alter of my self.

And yes, I fail frequently at my own standards of honor (honestly, if that weren't true I'd think my standards weren't high enough and raise them till I did struggle to meet them). I expect others to fail also. Honestly, I find the best information about how honorable someone is comes at just those moments. I can live with human failing. I am, however, VERY interested in how they recover.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 5:53:31 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 And yes, I fail frequently at my own standards of honor (honestly, if that weren't true I'd think my standards weren't high enough and raise them till I did struggle to meet them). I expect others to fail also. Honestly, I find the best information about how honorable someone is comes at just those moments. I can live with human failing. I am, however, VERY interested in how they recover. 



The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. Socrates

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:06:48 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Heh, I'm willing to sacrifice my self on the alter of my honor, ........



Having your convictions tested and passing the
test, is the only way to see if your worth a dam.

I've sacrificed A LOT for it, and i've had people
shake their heads at the choices I make sometimes
How do I know i'm doing the right thing?
Because I know...

Maybe the only way to be sure of yourself, is by
saying "This is who I am" and not letting anyone
change that.

-ARIES

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 7/11/2012 6:08:10 PM >

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:20:07 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be. Socrates

*laughs* Carol says, "Be the man your dog thinks you are."

I pointed out I'd be pretty damned pleased with myself if I thought I was the man she thought I was.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:21:07 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83
Having your convictions tested and passing the
test, is the only way to see if your worth a dam.
...
Maybe the only way to be sure of yourself, is by
saying "This is who I am" and not letting anyone
change that.

Well stated. This certainly resonates with me.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:24:46 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 *laughs* Carol says, "Be the man your dog thinks you are." 

She is a wise woman!!!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:26:11 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		To me honor means respect; for yourself, those you care about, people who are in your world who need you to show up for them and trust.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 6:40:06 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I like Carol, she absolutely correct. :)

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 10:34:32 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I can't remember the last time I used the word honor, about myself or anyone else, other than talking about honoring another person (usually someone who has died). Or when I take my birthday as one day when I honor myself, by doing something really good for myself that day (meditate on the beach, get a massage, etc.)

I'm not into holding others to my own standards, so I won't say whether Joe Blow or Mary Sue over there are honorable people or not. The way I see it, everyone is making their way through life, in whatever place they are at the time. We all have mistakes to make and lessons to learn so we can hopefully become better people as we travel down this path. I've sure made my share, and I'm pretty sure everyone else has, too.

So maybe - in addition to holding myself to my own level of integrity - honor also means (to me, anyway), being compassionate toward others who are dealing with their own struggles - whether I agree if what they are doing is right or not.


(edited to fix a word)

< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 7/11/2012 10:45:21 PM >

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Honor? - 7/11/2012 11:45:51 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		One of my favorite quotes is
"Reputation is what others know about you.
Honor is what you know about yourself"

That is how I define it, and how it manifests in my day to day life.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 1:06:20 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Funny
I've heard pretty much the exact quote, but it was phrased as "Reputation is what others think of you, integrity is what one knows of themselves."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 4:00:08 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		How I see it:

To honor someone or something:
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
To honor something is to respect and accept it for what it is.
For example, in honoring my partner I accept him for all that he is and all that he stands for, and do not try to change that; instead I respect it, support it, and cherish it for what it is.

To be honorable is to live and lead a moral life and to hold yourself tightly to those standards that you set for yourself. It is to have the courage to stand strong and always do so even when it is difficult, as well as the courage to own up to it when you have failed to do so. It is integrity and conviction as a deeply rooted part of the character.

Of course, what constitutes "moral" or "right/wrong" when it comes down to it is, to some extent, inherently subjective in nature, so I won't try to define those in such a broad and general sense. But it is what it is.

How it applies to me:

I dedicate all of my efforts to be that--to live an honorable life and be an honorable person--and to honor my Master in all that he is and all that he strives to be. There is nothing I can think of that feels more important to me than doing and being that. So most of the time, living honorably is easy. But yes, occasionally it is hard, and I do my best to have conviction and make the right choices even then. But I am not infallible. Sometimes, I have failed. When I do falter, I do all that I can to come clean and make up for my actions, make good by them.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 7:27:22 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon
Of course, what constitutes "moral" or "right/wrong" when it comes down to it is, to some extent, inherently subjective in nature, so I won't try to define those in such a broad and general sense. But it is what it is.

You know I actually came up with a definition of "doing good" that works for me. I feel like I am "doing good" when the people who come into contact with me end up better for it than before they met me. That means all people... the checkout person at the grocery store, Carol, my co-workers, some random person I meet on the street. For contacts which are more significant than a fleeting sidewalk encounter I actually am pretty aware usually of that measure. I can't win them all and some folks are just plain enemies so I don't want to benefit them.. I want to crush them.. but my sense of "being good" is a measure of how many people benefit vs. suffer from meeting me.

edited to add
The really funny thing about this thread is that I have said a million times, "You can measure a person's honor by the inverse proportion of how frequently they use the word." So I guess I screwed myself over on this thread

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 7/12/2012 7:29:58 AM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 8:06:50 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Funny
I've heard pretty much the exact quote, but it was phrased as "Reputation is what others think of you, integrity is what one knows of themselves."

LOL, well, when you really think about it, according to some definitions...honor and integrity are the same thing.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 8:21:55 PM   
BootyBoy


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		I think most people know when they're being dishonorable.
Just ask yourself, "If this situation was reversed, is this how I'd like someone else to treat me?"

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Honor? - 7/12/2012 8:47:31 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		People get married too young sometimes, and for all the wrong reasons, always been that way, always gonna be. Me I'm not fickle, you can make anything work, but I don't practice deception, and I wouldn't be with anyone who did for long, you got a yen for some adventure or some strange, spit it out, I can forgive that if you're upfront about it, we're all human, I'll find some way even things out.

What I do know is you can't change people, you can only change yourself, so count me out of the crusade. I consider integrity a valuable trait, but all I can do is not get involved with those who lack it - some people get off on the deception itself of course, not hard to spot if you know what to look for.

What are you doing on a cheater website anyway, hmmm?

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Honor? - 7/13/2012 7:47:05 AM   
Salinedion


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		It's near impossible to get even Golden Rule 101 from 99% of the people you meet.

So all this honor stuff seems very pie in the sky.

_____________________________

I hate the 'reply to' note at the end of the post. Just assume I'm posting to the board at large and not the person above me unless I say diff, OK?

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Honor? - 7/13/2012 8:28:10 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion
It's near impossible to get even Golden Rule 101 from 99% of the people you meet. So all this honor stuff seems very pie in the sky.

I'm always fascinated by statements like this. I certainly agree that in the US we worship greed, not honor. But what happens in the culture at large isn't the same as what happens in my circle.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Salinedion)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Honor? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094