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RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 5:08:32 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Everybody lies.  To the boss, spouse, parents...  Just not everyone admits it or even wants to admit it to themselves - which in itself is a lie.
So by that - no one is trustworthy.  Lies are lies - no lie is worse than another - just different. 

Remind me never to enter partnership with dark… [Bearlee]


quote:

  I’m at work and bored stiff…but not drinking; thank you very much. [Bearlee]


Interesting--does your boss know you are on CM while at work?


I see alot of this.   People saying they are jumping online while at work.  If I was paying someone, and knew that they had  the time to read through *pages* at a message board and then type out a few chapters in response, it would piss me off. Especially the fact that its a bdsm site.  Ok, *we* know we arent pervs, but I certainly wouldnt risk bringing this to my employers "house".   Not to mention all the time to read the posts, write a several *lengthy* responses.  And then keep coming back and checking to see if anyone responded, and responding *yet* to *those* responses.  Holy cow.  You want to sit on an BDSM site while you're at work and still collect a pay check?? Geeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!  The nerve of some people.  Not much of a work ethic. 

I think some integrity should be applied in the relationship with the boss.  Imagine if he/she knew that their employee was doing *this* shit, while on the clock.  Its no better than being a common theif.  People expect to reach into their employers pockets and steal, yet still maintain their job?  Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.....  If I was the boss, Id want my employee to do *anything* but come onto a BDSM message board, while at work.  What if someone found out?  It could not only affect your own job, but your employer's business, and *his* life, and *his* family too.  People lose their children over this.  I wonder if a company could lose business if it ever got out that their employees were spending thier time on a BDSM site while at work.  Maybe they should clean their desk, or find something work-related to do, when it's slow.   And knowing that it was such a heated topic, all the more reason someone shouldnt be getting caught up in it while at work.  Clearly it changes ones state of mind to get involved in these debates.  Not something Id want *my* employees under the influence of while on *my* time.  Unless you can leave your screen up and open for the boss to see if he walks in, you're doing something dishonest behind his/her back.   Geeezzzzzzzzzz !!! 

< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/14/2006 5:11:04 AM >

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 261
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 5:15:49 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Everybody lies.  To the boss, spouse, parents...  Just not everyone admits it or even wants to admit it to themselves - which in itself is a lie.
So by that - no one is trustworthy.  Lies are lies - no lie is worse than another - just different. 

Remind me never to enter partnership with dark… [Bearlee]


quote:

  I’m at work and bored stiff…but not drinking; thank you very much. [Bearlee]


Interesting--does your boss know you are on CM while at work?


"I am the boss, sweetie", she says from her high horse!!! 

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 262
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 5:16:49 AM   
StrictWhip


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/23/2006
Status: offline 		WHAT, may I ask, does this have to do with trust in a marriage versus trust in a D/s relationship????  Take it to another thread or make up one of your own!!!!!!!!!!!

While we are at it........I really get pissed off at people who live in glass houses that INSIST on throwing stones!  

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 263
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 5:25:42 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I see alot of this.   People saying they are jumping online while at work.  If I was paying someone, and knew that they had  the time to read through *pages* at a message board and then type out a few chapters in response, it would piss me off. Especially the fact that its a bdsm site.  Ok, *we* know we arent pervs, but I certainly wouldnt risk bringing this to my employers "house".   Not to mention all the time to read the posts, write a several *lengthy* responses.  And then keep coming back and checking to see if anyone responded, and responding *yet* to *those* responses.  Holy cow.  You want to sit on an BDSM site while you're at work and still collect a pay check?? Geeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!  The nerve of some people.  Not much of a work ethic. 
....


AGAIN:
"I am the boss: it's my store; I make my hours, I decide when to open and how many days a week to work.  I want a day off; I take it.  I want to close early, I do.  I am my only employee...it is nobody's business what I do with my spare time.  Before you go off on a tangent and hijack the thread...get your facts, honey.
 
I realize, based on your previous comments here, that YOU might do this to an employer; I do not.  Yup, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 264
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 6:00:12 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Everybody lies.  To the boss, spouse, parents...  Just not everyone admits it or even wants to admit it to themselves - which in itself is a lie.
So by that - no one is trustworthy.  Lies are lies - no lie is worse than another - just different. 

Remind me never to enter partnership with dark… [Bearlee]


quote:

  I’m at work and bored stiff…but not drinking; thank you very much. [Bearlee]


Interesting--does your boss know you are on CM while at work?


"I am the boss, sweetie", she says from her high horse!!! 

Remind me never to use Bearlees business....
(Won't apologise - it was just too open and easy - it's ok Bearlee - you can counteract with the 'Ya wouldn't be allowed in I am choosey' - comeback)
 
Peace and Rapture


< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 6/14/2006 6:01:09 AM >

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 265
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 6:58:50 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictWhip

WHAT, may I ask, does this have to do with trust in a marriage versus trust in a D/s relationship????  Take it to another thread or make up one of your own!!!!!!!!!!!

While we are at it........I really get pissed off at people who live in glass houses that INSIST on throwing stones!  


It has to do with trust and morality and ethics. In ALL relationships. D'oh!  That shouldnt be too hard to put together.  As far as the topic of the thread, its already been twarted.  Why dont you try reading about puella's "wedding" on this thread. 

The only one that has thrown stones has been bearlee, up until then, this has been a very serious conversation about the conflicts, pains, dilemmas, morals, of people who feel stuck between whats they feel is right and what they know they should do. 

you are right, people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones.  That was my point in my last post.  Im glad you picked up on it.

(in reply to StrictWhip)
Profile   Post #: 266
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 6:59:58 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I see alot of this.   People saying they are jumping online while at work.  If I was paying someone, and knew that they had  the time to read through *pages* at a message board and then type out a few chapters in response, it would piss me off. Especially the fact that its a bdsm site.  Ok, *we* know we arent pervs, but I certainly wouldnt risk bringing this to my employers "house".   Not to mention all the time to read the posts, write a several *lengthy* responses.  And then keep coming back and checking to see if anyone responded, and responding *yet* to *those* responses.  Holy cow.  You want to sit on an BDSM site while you're at work and still collect a pay check?? Geeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!  The nerve of some people.  Not much of a work ethic. 
....


AGAIN:
"I am the boss: it's my store; I make my hours, I decide when to open and how many days a week to work.  I want a day off; I take it.  I want to close early, I do.  I am my only employee...it is nobody's business what I do with my spare time.  Before you go off on a tangent and hijack the thread...get your facts, honey.
 
I realize, based on your previous comments here, that YOU might do this to an employer; I do not.  Yup, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...


hijack the thead?  You gotta be kidding me, right? 

as far as what you do with your spare time....you put it out there yesteray in a public thread about being bored at work.  So its there to comment on.  Its just as much someone business to comment on that as it is your business to comment on everyones marriage, honey. 

As far as "getting the facts, honey"....  Who the hell needs facts before making assumptions???  You certainly didnt get them, before you came here and pounced the shit out of everyone without knowing a damn thing about their lives.

You make your own hours, yet stay at work when youre bored to read bdsm threads?  Youre fulla crap.  Boss, my ass!

This thread was a heated one yes, but a very valuable one with people trying to share and understand each others views, until you showed up and turned it into a one-woman train wreck.  Since there is no longer anything of value going on here. Im done with this thread. Have at it, bearlee.  I hope you purge that bitterness youre carrying from your marriage.  Maybe if you had ragged on him less, he wouldnt have cheated.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/14/2006 7:11:11 AM >

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 267
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 7:09:25 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo



hijack the thead?  You gotta be kidding me, right? 

as far as what you do with your spare time....you put it out there yesteray in a public thread about being bored at work.  So its there to comment on.  Its just as much someone business to comment on that as it is your business to comment on everyones marriage, honey. 

You make your own hours, yet stay at work when youre bored to read bdsm threads?  Youre fulla crap.  Boss, my ass!



Unless you know what Bearlee's business is, and her reasons to be at work, maybe to answer phones and such, you might want to rethink calling someone a liar, about what they do and why they do it. JMO. Since this thread is about lying sorta.

Nina

< Message edited by NINASHARP -- 6/14/2006 7:10:10 AM >

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 268
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 7:14:17 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo



hijack the thead?  You gotta be kidding me, right? 

as far as what you do with your spare time....you put it out there yesteray in a public thread about being bored at work.  So its there to comment on.  Its just as much someone business to comment on that as it is your business to comment on everyones marriage, honey. 

You make your own hours, yet stay at work when youre bored to read bdsm threads?  Youre fulla crap.  Boss, my ass!



Unless you know what Bearlee's business is, and her reasons to be at work, maybe to answer phones and such, you might want to rethink calling someone a liar, about what they do and why they do it. JMO. Since this thread is about lying sorta.

Nina


Unless bearlee knows my business, and my reasons for anything, she may want to rethink throwing accusations at me, and ridiculing MY choices.  You are actually helping to make my point; 

(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 269
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 7:18:09 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I am done here.  I was here to contribute to a conversation between people of varying opinions on this.  As heated as it was, we all managed to respect one another's view and open our eyes to others thoughts and feelings, and consider other points of view.  Once in a while there is a thread that has value around here.  And you,  bearlee,  came along and took a shit all over it.  When you antagonize people, expect to get slapped down for it, 'honey'.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 270
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 7:31:19 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I am done here.  I was here to contribute to a conversation between people of varying opinions on this.  As heated as it was, we all managed to respect one another's view and open our eyes to others thoughts and feelings, and consider other points of view.  Once in a while there is a thread that has value around here.  And you,  bearlee,  came along and took a shit all over it.  When you antagonize people, expect to get slapped down for it, 'honey'.


Well it is a sensitive issue, no one likes to be cheated on, nor do they like being called a cheat. So I guess passions get caught up in a fire of opinions. Thats what I've been told about threads like these, when I get overly sensitive about other people's opinions, not necessarily always directed at me.

As far as the topic goes, I searched for other forum posts from sskitten, since she doesn't have permission from her Master to post here on the issue anymore, and stated that she still had a lot to say but couldn't. I found this link she wrote a few months ago, rather informative regarding her situation.

RE: Exploring D/s in vanilla marriage  

Nina

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 271
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 7:51:31 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
........
You make your own hours, yet stay at work when youre bored to read bdsm threads?  Youre fulla crap.  Boss, my ass!


Pardon me?  It's a SMALL store; I can't read (books) ALL the time.  Why on earth are you calling me a liar?  That IS what you are doing, is it not?  <shakes head> 

quote:

....
This thread was a heated one yes, but a very valuable one with people trying to share and understand each others views, until you showed up and turned it into a one-woman train wreck.  Since there is no longer anything of value going on here. Im done with this thread. Have at it, bearlee.  I hope you purge that bitterness youre carrying from your marriage.  Maybe if you had ragged on him less, he wouldnt have cheated.


Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... he didn't cheat; nor did I.  Where do you get this stuff?  Do you just make it up as you go along?  geeeeezzzzzzzzzzzze!!!

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 272
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 8:29:14 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

"I am the boss, sweetie", she says from her high horse!!! 


I apologize Bearlee, didn't realize that.  I also apologize for getting off-topic, but that just kinda stood out and i felt i needed to comment. I see so many people playing games online while they should be working that it irks me no end, especially government employess whose salaries we pay. Personally i don't think a BDSM or porn site should be on the screen at a place of business except maybe an adult business.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 273
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 8:36:41 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
quote:

"I am the boss, sweetie", she says from her high horse!!! 


I apologize Bearlee, didn't realize that.  I also apologize for getting off-topic, but that just kinda stood out and i felt i needed to comment. I see so many people playing games online while they should be working that it irks me no end, especially government employess whose salaries we pay. Personally i don't think a BDSM or porn site should be on the screen at a place of business except maybe an adult business. 


Well then, you will be relieved to know my computer screen is NOT available for public scrutiny…though I would hardly call this Forum ‘porn’.  One of MY passions is SSC…and I include the ‘general public’ needs to ‘consent’.  But let’s get back ontrack.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 274
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 8:38:18 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Everybody lies.  To the boss, spouse, parents...  Just not everyone admits it or even wants to admit it to themselves - which in itself is a lie.
So by that - no one is trustworthy.  Lies are lies - no lie is worse than another - just different. 

Remind me never to enter partnership with dark… [Bearlee]


quote:

  I’m at work and bored stiff…but not drinking; thank you very much. [Bearlee]


Interesting--does your boss know you are on CM while at work?


"I am the boss, sweetie", she says from her high horse!!! 

Remind me never to use Bearlees business....
(Won't apologise - it was just too open and easy - it's ok Bearlee - you can counteract with the 'Ya wouldn't be allowed in I am choosey' - comeback)
 
Peace and Rapture



I am hoping I can shop with bearlee... just becsause she doesn't like adultery doesnt make her all bad

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 275
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 8:38:57 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		What IS the fascination with train wrecks?

Okay…I went back to page one and re-read the 19 posts there.  Two are ‘for’ the OP, fifteen do not agree and two more sorta declined comment.

Then, I went back and re-read my own posts.  I fail to see how different my comments are than the majority of the people contributing here.  Two of the folks seem to have picked me to flame and bash, as if I were flaming and bashing them.  I am not, nor have I and quite frankly I find it entertaining that these two actually fabricate information regarding me to make their points.  <shakes head> 

Generally, I enjoy posting my thoughts here and reading the thoughts of others.  Adults know how to state opinions, even heatedly, without resorting to name-calling and making up lies.  We should be able to agree to disagree in a grown-up, civil manner.  I have a right to my opinions and quips and questions; as does everybody.   I like spicy food and spicy, heated conversation and debate.  This has fallen to the lowest of lows, IMO. 

While I have added my comments to the other comments here…both negative and positive as has everyone else…I’ve yet to suggest anybody was drunk, lying about what they posted or sneaking around at work.  Nor have I gone offline to bash someone in e-mail.  This is a FORUM for gawd’s sake; the whole POINT is to discuss, express ideas and debate.  That some resort to cursing, name-calling and making up out and out lies to prove their ‘point’ is sad commentary indeed!

The OP says she lives in two worlds: one where she cheats on her husband for his own good and to save him from pain, another where she’s full on honesty and integrity in a D/s relationship.  She opened up debate with her very post, which she entitled “Two Worlds of Trust”.  Then, she mentioned she’s started a club for cheaters; a support group I think she called it.  <shrugs>  So, it seems the huge majority find her story a disturbing crock by a woman who is deceiving many, people including herself.  But…again, this is a Forum.  What say you?

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 276
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 8:42:35 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Your comments were not worse than mine bearlee, but I think that you made quite a few in a row, saving them up if you will.. and people read it as more harsh perhaps?



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 277
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 2:52:21 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Not to be rude but yes there are still places where your kids can get taken from you for how you conduct yourself.  My state is one, the state to the north is as well.  Especially if your involvement in the lifestyle becomes known. If you aren't living in a Bible Belt state full of conservatives maybe you would get shared custody but that doesn't generalize to every state and every judge.  If anyone thinks a hurt ex won't press that point I wish you the best of luck.

I had a sub friend, vanilla husband, who suddenly decided that she had "forced" him to be her dom and that she was sick and unfit.  He played the "only trying to keep my marriage together by trying to make her happy" card.  Children's services swooped in while dad was supposedly at work, got the kid, delivered him to daddy who had suddenly moved in with mom and pop.  Guess what?  In court her interest in the lifestyle came to light, and judgie said "I'm concerned about what the child may be exposed to if in the mother's custody."  "Mom will have supervised visitation at the ex-inlaws house twice monthly." 

It can happen.  I've seen it happen. I've seen it happen to subs two different times.  Different sets of circumstances.  Please don't delude yourself into thinking that with a narrow minded judge, "concerned" social workers etc, that it can't happen to you, it can.


Shairanks:

Are you saying that this friend of yours not only lost custody of her children, but is required to see them only under 'supervision' because the judge found out she was into ds?
There were no other factors?  Abuse of some sort?  Doing something in front of the kids?  Endangerment for some other reasons?? 
Ive never heard of anyone anywhere in anystate losing their kids because of Ds, per se.
If anyone has any cases sited on this, I would love to hear about them.  I find it rather interesting.

I won't answer to all of this except to say this:  when my ex and I split up, I had to undergo a psychosexual evaluation because she told her attorney that I was into all this 'sick, twisted, perverted beating and tying up of women to control them, etc., etc.'  I had to submit to this evaluation and pass it with the results of my testing given over to the ex's attorney and the childrens guardian ad litem. 

I did pass with the doctor finding that I was 'normal'.

So yeah, in some states, it does make a difference.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 278
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 3:05:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		If you are being less than honest in your vanilla relationship (which you more than likely vowed publicly to remain true to), then how the hell can you expect anybody to believe your private & secret declarations of honesty and openness....face it, if you are cheating you are what?...a cheater. very simple.

And don't give me the "I have needs" crap, I had non-vanilla needs the entire time I was married (13 years), but she didn't, I made due, I did without, and I never went outside the marriage...and just in case you wondered, it was her who ended the relationship...because she wanted something different...she wanted a man who does what he's told.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to sskitten)
Profile   Post #: 279
RE: two worlds of trust - 6/14/2006 3:15:10 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

...and just in case you wondered, it was her who ended the relationship...because she wanted something different...she wanted a man who does what he's told.


 Don't you just hate those sort of women!

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 280
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