RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag?

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 12:45:24 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
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I am not saying that I agreed with them.

(in reply to JeffBC)

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 12:55:45 PM

LolaLita

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Simply because I am offering my opinion? I simply think that many of you are up on your high horses. I am by no means perfect, and I know maybe one per cent of nothing. But for Pete's sake, who wants to roll over and take judgement/criticism from self-righteous, self-important strangers (when it is not at all construcive) without getting defensive? Just saying what I feel.

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:00:41 PM

MadamCat85

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/19/2011
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I appreciate a sub with a personality and opinions. I also don't expect complete submission until we've grown comfortable with each other. I know there are Dom/me's out there that do and I think that's just ignorant.
~Mistress Cat

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:02:17 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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Eh, Lolalita you are doin ok, you will get some noob hazing and some haters, use your intellect to sort of spin them here and there. Its all gonna work out.

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:08:21 PM

LolaLita

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Joined: 12/4/2011
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I have considered trolling hard, but they would just cry about it to the mods. I am actually trying to be civil, but their they are too stuck in themselves to hear any opinion that differs from their own.

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Post #: 65

RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:11:14 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamCat85

I appreciate a sub with a personality and opinions. I also don't expect complete submission until we've grown comfortable with each other. I know there are Dom/me's out there that do and I think that's just ignorant.
~Mistress Cat

Like the Dominants/Dommes that try to demand things of a sub right after meeting them?

(in reply to MadamCat85)

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Post #: 66

RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:24:51 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita
I have considered trolling hard, but they would just cry about it to the mods. I am actually trying to be civil, but their they are too stuck in themselves to hear any opinion that differs from their own.

Really? OK, let me try to explain my initial reaction.

You're told that your personality profile just happens to be perfect and you go with it.
Anyone who doesn't agree must be so "overwhelmed by your personality" that they must "run away".

Embedded in there was a certain amount of narcissism.

Now... to answer the question you may have actually been asking. No, your personality type is not "perfect". For some yes, for others... not so much. More to the point there are lots of reasons I might "run away" from someone and the most likely ones by far have nothing to do with incompatibility on a D/s score. Nor is it very likely that I'd find myself overwhelmed by your personality. What is true is that your willingness to submit would mean nothing to me. I don't do the "D/s by agreement" thing. I'm more interested in how you naturally react than how you school yourself to react.

The best analogy I have for you is that some guys seem to groove on the whole "breaking the wild bronco" gig. Not me. I just want a nice, well-trained mount that goes where I want it to go and does what I want it to do with a minimum of drama. I'll leave taming the wild ones to those who are into it. Conveniently for you, I think there's a large overlap between guys who groove on young women and guys who like taming wild subs. You shouldn't have too hard of a time finding someone who isn't overwhelmed (and wants to bother) with you.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:26:30 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

I have considered trolling hard, but they would just cry about it to the mods. I am actually trying to be civil, but their they are too stuck in themselves to hear any opinion that differs from their own.

But I would point out equally that some have a pretty valid view here. Trolling would be you telling me you are gonna pop by the house but you dont.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:28:11 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

It's great that you have an opinion. In fact, everyone has one. Everyone also has an anus, and it emits fecalmatter.

Much like your opinion. C:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not sure how someone whose profile says she submits to everyone and compares herself to a stray pup can at the same time be a strong and challenging sub to one.

What you see as condescension we see as the same old, same old. I don't know how many barely legals have been here claiming they are decades more mature than their chronological age. From where I sit, that's never been true. You come across as highly defensive.

You know more at 19 than you did at 9. At 29 you will be amazed how naive your 19 year old self appears. At 49 you will laugh at the the things you said at 29 thinking you knew it all.

What DesFIP says is true and well put in my
opinion, I shake my head at the things I did
and thought were important at 19 and i'm 29
now. It doesn't mean I wasn't awesom at 19...
just that i'm more awesom now haha.

-ARIES

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/1/2012 1:29:12 PM >

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:33:58 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

It's great that you have an opinion. In fact, everyone has one. Everyone also has an anus, and it emits fecalmatter.

Much like your opinion. C:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not sure how someone whose profile says she submits to everyone and compares herself to a stray pup can at the same time be a strong and challenging sub to one.

What you see as condescension we see as the same old, same old. I don't know how many barely legals have been here claiming they are decades more mature than their chronological age. From where I sit, that's never been true. You come across as highly defensive.

You know more at 19 than you did at 9. At 29 you will be amazed how naive your 19 year old self appears. At 49 you will laugh at the the things you said at 29 thinking you knew it all.

What DesFIP says is true and well put in my
opinion, I shake my head at the things I did
and thought were important at 19 and i'm 29
now. It doesn't mean I wasn't awesom at 19...
just that i'm more awesome now haha.

-ARIES

And modest too.....

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:38:24 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita
I have considered trolling hard, but they would just cry about it to the mods. I am actually trying to be civil, but their they are too stuck in themselves to hear any opinion that differs from their own.

Really? OK, let me try to explain my initial reaction.

You're told that your personality profile just happens to be perfect and you go with it.
Anyone who doesn't agree must be so "overwhelmed by your personality" that they must "run away".

Embedded in there was a certain amount of narcissism.

Now... to answer the question you may have actually been asking. No, your personality type is not "perfect". For some yes, for others... not so much. More to the point there are lots of reasons I might "run away" from someone and the most likely ones by far have nothing to do with incompatibility on a D/s score. Nor is it very likely that I'd find myself overwhelmed by your personality. What is true is that your willingness to submit would mean nothing to me. I don't do the "D/s by agreement" thing. I'm more interested in how you naturally react than how you school yourself to react.

The best analogy I have for you is that some guys seem to groove on the whole "breaking the wild bronco" gig. Not me. I just want a nice, well-trained mount that goes where I want it to go and does what I want it to do with a minimum of drama. I'll leave taming the wild ones to those who are into it. Conveniently for you, I think there's a large overlap between guys who groove on young women and guys who like taming wild subs. You shouldn't have too hard of a time finding someone who isn't overwhelmed (and wants to bother) with you.

My entire rant? Yeah, it was not aimed towards you. I could care less about whether or not Im your type. The entire point of this thread was to ask if Dominant men would or would not prefer a sub with a strong personality, or a sub who was bold and opinionated. Your first post was a little venomous on my behalf, you assumed that this thread was my self-post. It was not. I was asking a very common question. I also noticed that the "elites" of the boards tend to gang up, like a mob or group of bullies. Not just in this thread, but amongst many others. So, why did you target me in your first post, then respond to the original quote, Im not sure.

But thank your input on the original question.

< Message edited by LolaLita -- 8/1/2012 1:42:28 PM >

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:45:19 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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To own someone with the personality of a stump is no honor. On the other hand there is some real latitude in interpretation here, to own a wide and brawling woman with atrocious behaviors, or a pillow princess with same who describes herself rather slantedly as a 'strong personality that men can't handle' would be kicked to the fucking curb toot fuckin sweet.

And there are all the flavors in between but I think that is what everyone (some more clumsily than others) are trying to point out.

Hey, take a strong woman and make her obedient and obeisant? That's some wood and I dont care who you are.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 1:55:12 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

To own someone with the personality of a stump is no honor. On the other hand there is some real latitude in interpretation here, to own a wide and brawling woman with atrocious behaviors, or a pillow princess with same who describes herself rather slantedly as a 'strong personality that men can't handle' would be kicked to the fucking curb toot fuckin sweet.

And there are all the flavors in between but I think that is what everyone (some more clumsily than others) are trying to point out.

Hey, take a strong woman and make her obedient and obeisant? That's some wood and I dont care who you are.

First of all, thank you for being unbiased. Much appreciated.

Strong personality was supposed to define a person whom was willing to submit without questioning her submission, but I was also trying to describe a rather intelligent, strong willed extrovert, as opposed to someone who is rather shy, introverted, or passive. A strong personality is assertive.

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:13:02 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

...I could care less about whether or not Im your type. The entire point of this thread was to ask if Dominant men would or would not prefer a sub with a strong personality, or a sub who was bold and opinionated. Your first post was a little venomous on my behalf, you assumed that this thread was my self-post. It was not. I was asking a very common question. I also noticed that the "elites" of the boards tend to gang up, like a mob or group of bullies. Not just in this thread, but amongst many others. So, why did you target me in your first post, then respond to the original quote, Im not sure.

But thank your input on the original question.

You are seeing people ganging up on you and the
"Elites" sticking togeather, in reality everyones opinion
is very independent and distinct.
If you are seeing a common theme of disagreement
towards your comments I would urge you to consider
that you may have some bad or at the least naive
opinions.
Some of the people who's opinions you have dismissed
are probably the most knowledgeable and experienced
posters on the site... And you asked them for opinions.

I'm not age bashing you... I'm sincerely telling you to
go and consider the fact your points of view are coming
across as naive and it may have nothing to do with
the people replying.

-ARIES

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/1/2012 2:19:59 PM >

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:16:18 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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"But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first, and said, 'Son, go work in my vineyard.' He answered, 'I will not,' but afterward he changed his mind, and went. He came to the second, and said the same thing. He answered, 'I go, sir,' but he didn't go. Which of the two did the will of his father?"

And that is how that gets tacked up. That is an issue of some import.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:20:44 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Right, having followed this thread for a bit, I do have to qualify slightly..

I adore smart, assertive, confident, successful. Sassy even.

Opinionated without substance, arrogant, aggressive, rude. Not so much.

So when you say "strong minded".... it depends on whether that strong mindedness is born out of smart, assertive, confident, successful or Opinionated without substance, arrogant, aggressive, rude.

Judging from her posts....it's option number two.

Based upon the link Poise so generously provided and the posts I've read thus far on this thread.......I concur.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:20:45 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

Let's say that you (the Master) have met a rather...strong-minded "potential" sub. Would his or her personality be too overwhelming, even if they were more than willing to submit to you? Is there really a such thing as a "bad submissive"?

I have been told that an intelligent, independent submissive woman is the "perfect" type. Why then, do so many run away when faced with such a person?

Using fast reply.

For the same reason that certain submissive men run from any sign of 'weakness' in a Dominant. It happens on both sides of the kneel.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:26:04 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

quote:

ORIGINAL: LolaLita

...I could care less about whether or not Im your type. The entire point of this thread was to ask if Dominant men would or would not prefer a sub with a strong personality, or a sub who was bold and opinionated. Your first post was a little venomous on my behalf, you assumed that this thread was my self-post. It was not. I was asking a very common question. I also noticed that the "elites" of the boards tend to gang up, like a mob or group of bullies. Not just in this thread, but amongst many others. So, why did you target me in your first post, then respond to the original quote, Im not sure.

But thank your input on the original question.

You are seeing people ganging up on you and the
"Elites" sticking togeather, in reality everyones opinion
is very independent and distinct.
If you are seeing a common theme of disagreement
towards your comments I would urge you to consider
that you may have some bad or at the least naive
opinions.
Some of the people who's opinions you have dismissed
are probably the most knowledgeable and experienced
posters on the site... And you asked them for opinions.

I'm not age bashing you... I'm sincerely telling you to
go and consider the fact your points of view are coming
across as naive and it may have nothing to do with
people replying.

-ARIES

So, my "bad" and naive opinion takes away my right to post in this forum?
And since they have experience within posting on a fetish personals site, they have correct opinions and I have bad opinions?
Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

If you don't agree with what I or anyone else has to say, DON'T POST. It's as simple as that. No one is forcing any of.you to post in this thread. It makes YOU look bad when you walk target someone because you know that you won't agree with what they have to say.

So, if you have nothing of substance to contribute, please leave.

Thank you.

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RE: Is A Submissive With A Strong Personality A Red Flag? - 8/1/2012 2:32:47 PM

LolaLita

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/4/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Right, having followed this thread for a bit, I do have to qualify slightly..

I adore smart, assertive, confident, successful. Sassy even.

Opinionated without substance, arrogant, aggressive, rude. Not so much.

So when you say "strong minded".... it depends on whether that strong mindedness is born out of smart, assertive, confident, successful or Opinionated without substance, arrogant, aggressive, rude.

Judging from her posts....it's option number two.

Based upon the link Poise so generously provided and the posts I've read thus far on this thread.......I concur.