RE: 'Training' makes me crazy

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: 'Training' makes me crazy

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 5 [6]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 8/19/2012 3:40:36 PM

TimeLimited

Posts: 1095
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline

OP ... you are guilty of THINKING.

Don't stop doing so until you find yourself in a situation where you totally trust the top you are playing with. Then in a safe play situation only. My best subs have been geniuses or top levels of responsibility in their work lives.

Now Training is a subjective thing too. I never tell a candidate I will train her to be the 'perfect sub". The training that I do is more like "introduction to BDSM 101". I want her to understand what she is "getting herself into". Trust is vital to what we do. It does include some basic protocols. I insure she understands that there is more than one way a Top expects a sub to behave or respond. I teach starting out in a vanilla manner in a public place until she feels safe with him (or her). I teach safecalls and safewords. I teach her some fantasies are not safe and best left as fantasies. I help her find her limits in a patient, Safe Sane, Consensual way. If she agrees, I take her to some local groups and if ready a group play party.
I am happy to be with her until she says differently. I have had a sub for over a year. I have had trainees only.

< Message edited by TimeLimited -- 8/19/2012 3:45:49 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/1/2012 4:15:02 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

I respectfully disagree. As a new sub who is looking to be trained, I know that I know nothing. I have never had my limits pushed, I have never tried most of the toys and apparatus used, I don't know the difference between what a flogger feels like vs a whip. I don't know any of the general protocols...

I read an excellent article called "The Training" on the "Leatherandroses.com" webste. It hit the nail on the head

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/1/2012 4:24:04 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I respectfully disagree. As a new sub who is looking to be trained, I know that I know nothing. I have never had my limits pushed, I have never tried most of the toys and apparatus used, I don't know the difference between what a flogger feels like vs a whip. I don't know any of the general protocols...

So, when you try something that you've never eaten before....that must be "training" then too, right?

You're not being trained to do anything. It's not a specific skill set.

For the record, there are really aren't any general protocols outside of common courtesy stuff.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/1/2012 5:08:49 PM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

I respectfully disagree. As a new sub who is looking to be trained, I know that I know nothing. I have never had my limits pushed, I have never tried most of the toys and apparatus used, I don't know the difference between what a flogger feels like vs a whip. I don't know any of the general protocols...

I read an excellent article called "The Training" on the "Leatherandroses.com" webste. It hit the nail on the head

I'm glad that the concept of training has meaning to you.
I'd just venture to say...if I take a new route to a destination- is traveling on the new roads training me to go there? Or is it applying something new to the skill I already have of driving?
If I am a virgin and I have sex for the first time, am I being trained to have sex or am I having a new experience? Will I take what I 'learned' during my first sexual encounter and do that same thing every time after that?
If I am invited to someone's home, and when I arrive am asked to take off my shoes and eat sitting on the floor- is that being trained or am I honoring a request? On subsequent trips to this house when I do the same thing, am I trained then, or repeating what I learned prior? Do I do the same set of actions now at every person's home that i visit?

Being with someone in a relationship takes a lot of fine tuning and it involves a lot of new experiences that are not universal and are not passed on from one person to the next. Training implies a general skill set as OsideGirl mentioned, if I am trained to work a machine in the factory where I work then that is a skill specific to that job and that machine. Every one will need to do that job on that machine exactly the same. People don't work that way. You don't take with a set of BDSM skills from Dominant to Dominant. They're all different. Knowing what things like a flogger feels like isn't being trained, it's an experience. You have no experience, we've all been there, and gaining experience is not being trained to then repeat things the same way every time. JMO and all that jazz.

Btw, I have never run into anything to do with general protocol. I'm not a leather person, that is the only place I know of that protocol exists. I would learn leather protocol if I were going to a leather event. There is no protocol from Dominant to Dominant. There are things that each Dominant would like to have happen, and they fill me in, and interestingly enough- everyone seems to want different things including what they like to be called. It's not all Sir and getting on your knees to get flogged. Some Dominants don't even have floggers.

So training, TO ME, is useless as a concept as it's not something that I can take from person to person, it's not something that means the same thing to all people, and it's not accurately describing the simple fact of gaining experience. Add to this that people seem to abuse the term with newbies to get them to do things that aren't always right. Unscrupulous people commonly use the concept of training to get something naked and sexual for themselves.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 5:14:54 PM

AineofTx

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/31/2012
Status: offline

Much along the line of a "training bra". Do prepubescent boobies need preparation for the real thing?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 105

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 6:55:59 PM

risktaker9

Posts: 197
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AineofTx

Much along the line of a "training bra". Do prepubescent boobies need preparation for the real thing?

Excellent comparison. I never understood the training bra concept.

(in reply to AineofTx)

Profile

Post #: 106

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 8:48:12 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

For most of the guys that call themselves "doms", training is an euphemism for "tie you up, beat you, then fuck you". Over the years, I've also come to the conclusion that guys that say "train you to be the perfect submissive" are the guys that don't know how to have a relationship.

Greetings,

Actually this is called topping from the bottom. That's all a new submissive wants you to do, tie them up (with new rope of course that "no other girl has touched" and do you know how much quality rope costs?), beat them with a high quality flogger (and do you know how wearisome that can be in a several hour session?), and finally when you've run out of energy, worn your Slayer CD out and the wax is cold and the baby oil is all over everything, she want you to fuck her and she will tell everyone you aren't a "true Dom" if you don't. It's a bitch.

Live well,
Arturas

P.S. Since we are in "ask a badass Master, I suspect it was time one showed up. You know?

< Message edited by Arturas -- 10/2/2012 8:50:13 PM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 107

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 9:45:56 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

You just know, of course, that Athena's syllabus is going to show up as some guy's journal entry as a serious work on how He trains his slaves, titled The Dominates Booke of Mastery or something.

Its Poe's Law: Nothing is so ridiculous that someone somewhere won't take it seriously.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Profile

Post #: 108

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 10:55:53 PM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Is it wrong that I kind of hope that happens?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Profile

Post #: 109

RE: 'Training' makes me crazy - 10/2/2012 11:41:40 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
Btw, I have never run into anything to do with general protocol. I'm not a leather person, that is the only place I know of that protocol exists. I would learn leather protocol if I were going to a leather event. There is no protocol from Dominant to Dominant. There are things that each Dominant would like to have happen, and they fill me in, and interestingly enough- everyone seems to want different things including what they like to be called. It's not all Sir and getting on your knees to get flogged. Some Dominants don't even have floggers.

So training, TO ME, is useless as a concept as it's not something that I can take from person to person, it's not something that means the same thing to all people, and it's not accurately describing the simple fact of gaining experience. Add to this that people seem to abuse the term with newbies to get them to do things that aren't always right. Unscrupulous people commonly use the concept of training to get something naked and sexual for themselves.

In leather, you could take it from person to person. Formal events only differentiate according to the host. These are only minor things. People are "trained" in the slight changes prior to such a thing as a formal dinner. A number of things remain consistent. It is the responsibility of the host to train any servers that will be taking that position in their home.

Might I ask you a question? Are you qualified, right this moment, to serve meals in the best of French restaurants? Are you familiar enough with traditions to serve a Japanese tea? Do you know the finer points of being a wine steward or do you know how a table is laid for an eight course meal?

If you were about to do those things as a part of your job, what would you call the learning part of being able to do that position? When another person teaches you the proper way to do them, what do you call that?

Yes, yes..... It's a relationship. Is it not a position as well? If by a part of being My submissive is that you will serve at high protocol events, and I MUST teach you to be adequate to do so, have I not trained you? How about leather care? How about functioning in the capacity of running community events? There are, absolutely, requirements of competency in certain areas in being My submissive.

Nah, it's not as sexy as training somebody to give a blow job, but it's training nonetheless.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Killerangel)

Profile

Post #: 110