RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (Full Version)

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SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 11:05:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyLayla

Also I don't see what my age has anything to do with this. I'm not taking offense or trying to sound bitchy, as I do understand people usually act their own ages but since you don't know me personally you can't assume because I'm young I have less experience. Maybe less years worth but I have done more in 23 years than most people. But based on the advice given I have changed some of my profile and am hoping it seems better.


Actually, age has a lot to do with it. If you're 23 years old, you've maybe been doing kink for 5-8 years if you started experimenting in your parents' basement as a teenager. A lot of us who are regulars on the forums are considerably older than you. Some of us have been doing kink for as long as you've been alive. So yeah, when someone says you don't have a lot of experience and will improve with age (like a fine wine!), that's the level of experience being used as a comparison. It's not personal, it's just a statement of fact.

I've been doing kink for a little less than half of your lifetime and I learn new things All. The. Time. For example, I've learned I could probably call myself a findomme since I always control the money in my relationships and I've had subs buy me gifts just because I'm awesome. [;)] Not that I'll be opening up a clips store anytime soon, but it's fascinating to read the different perspectives on this fetish.

There are tops here of whom I stand in awe because of their amazing skill with knives or single-tail whips, or whatever. So if people are giving you feedback on making changes to your profile or improve yourself to get better return on your investment, then take it! You'll thank them later, I promise. And if you want to learn more about the wild, wonderful worlds of D/s and BDSM so you can make the most of your past and future experiences, then stick around, ask intelligent questions, and learn from the wealth of knowledge on this forum. You won't regret it. [:D]



TheLadyLayla -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 2:49:59 PM)

Okay thank you for your comments. I understand where you're coming from now :)



OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 4:42:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Actually, age has a lot to do with it. If you're 23 years old, you've maybe been doing kink for 5-8 years if you started experimenting in your parents' basement as a teenager.

<snip>

I've been doing kink for a little less than half of your lifetime and I learn new things All.



Now, I feel old. I've been doing it for her entire lifetime. <sigh>



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 4:57:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Actually, age has a lot to do with it. If you're 23 years old, you've maybe been doing kink for 5-8 years if you started experimenting in your parents' basement as a teenager.

<snip>

I've been doing kink for a little less than half of your lifetime and I learn new things All.



Now, I feel old. I've been doing it for her entire lifetime. <sigh>



Don't feel too bad. I've decided that some of us age like fine brandy...older = smoother. I dunno about you, but I am very smooth. [;)]



OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 5:01:49 PM)

The one thing that has come with age is that I've have grown into being very comfortable in my own skin and it translates all the way out through my life.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 7:11:02 PM)

I just started last week.
:)

Seriously though you got great advice!!

Oh and MIP, I've tried numerous times to change
The profile. I can't without a computer, I'm on my phone
Or my pad. Can't find my lap top lol. It's somewhere!
But I'll post ink pics, I just added a new piece.




MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 11:14:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Actually, age has a lot to do with it. If you're 23 years old, you've maybe been doing kink for 5-8 years if you started experimenting in your parents' basement as a teenager.

<snip>

I've been doing kink for a little less than half of your lifetime and I learn new things All.



Now, I feel old. I've been doing it for her entire lifetime. <sigh>



Don't feel too bad. I've decided that some of us age like fine brandy...older = smoother. I dunno about you, but I am very smooth. [;)]

Don't feel bad Oside, I have been at this for longer than she has been alive and in my personal life I am normally doing it with people around her age. I would also like to thank you Sylvere for pointing out the obvious. Though I do have to say I don't think I have aged like brandy but more like good whiskey. I still have a little more bite to me than brandy ;)



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 11:16:23 PM)

Don't let it bother you, K, I actually love the colour purple. There is just something about some colours and the way they show up on a computer that make my brain hurt. As for the ink....I would love to see it. I have a few of my own. Tattoos and piercings are something I seem to collect so they are always a work in progress.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/25/2013 11:22:39 PM)

As for the changes in your profile, Layla, well done so far. It now reads much more as a lady in control of herself. One who knows what she wants and is afraid to simply lay out the facts for those that wish to be allowed to take part in your life. You may find that down the line there are other things you wish to change as your life moves forward and I wish you luck. I hope that whatever issues cause you such grief before have now been worked out and you are firmly in control.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/26/2013 5:46:43 AM)

Very much agree with MIP.
It's much better.



TheLadyLayla -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/26/2013 12:20:00 PM)

Thank you ladies I very much appreciate the advice you've given!! I'm still working through some issues personally but I feel much more in tune with myself.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/27/2013 9:00:42 AM)

Things take time, you will grow into it more and more.



AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/28/2013 7:51:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

For those who do findomming, and all things having to do with it, would you mind sharing with the class how it is you go about charging a man for your time? I intend to write my own answer out and post it a little later.



I go about charging a man for my time based solely on his financial situation. I don't do flat rates across the board because what one person will view as a sacrifice, another won't bat an eye at. I view his monthly bills, savings, food, clothing, shelter, transportation costs, etc. and work out something from there. Some subs pay closer to $20/month where others pay $250+/week. It really just depends.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/28/2013 4:39:43 PM)

Same here.
Everyone is different.



MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/29/2013 1:33:02 AM)

I didn't see your 'old' profile, Layla, but as a Grammar Domme I approve of your demand for correct grammar and spelling [:D]

One other change you would be wise to make: remove the mention of tribute. It's against TOS to refer to money/payment/tribute/amazon wishlists etc. There are those who delight in reporting Fin and Pro dommes, so don't give them the satisfaction.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/29/2013 6:28:26 AM)

*Hugs* MissKitty for being so helpful.
As for my answer as to charging......As a fin, online, pro, and lifestyle domme I don't deal with those that can't come up with at least sixty dollars a month *UNLESS* they can also show up to serve in person(non sexual service) Sixty dollars a month can gain a person a great deal of attention as far as their finances go as well as any personal matters they might want to share with me. I am not a large fan of gifts. I would rather shop for myself. Unless it is gear. I am always interested to see what a given sub might think I do in my free time and allowing them to buy me gear normally either lets me know what they think I am doing or what they would like me to be doing with them. Beyond a flat fee to get me to pay attention to begin with (yes I am a bitch like that) there is a sliding scale of charges for added on things. Examples of which might be pictures, live phone conversations, any introductions to friends or family (the clients not mine) The sliding scale has to do with time as well...as in how much time is it going to take me to do a given request. Most of those have to do with real time actions though and then the scale is pretty easy. Forty dollars an hour for nonsexual/non kink related issues. One hundred and sixty eight dollars an hour for kink related issues. Of course those prices have to do with people I already know because I already know what their issues are. I don't do intercourse, nudes, or "phone sex" (though I do let some call me just so I can make them feel bad) I do not tend to deal with men that are overly poor because I do not think they should be spending money they have little of on such things. I have fin domed more than a few of the people I have been in personal relationships with though and many of them are often broke....what can I say, I like young men who need a mommy and those kind often come poor.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/29/2013 9:20:14 AM)

I didn't want to go into great detail but I have a minimum as well. But I do still work with the budget.
As far as my pro Domme aspect, I have set rates...they can take it or leave it.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/29/2013 10:22:29 PM)

I find myself having to say that a lot more
than normal now a days. Which is fine, I barely
have any openings. My subs I have now pretty much take
most of my time.


Sorry for double post



Charles6682 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (10/31/2013 6:21:29 PM)

Wow and this thread still continues? This is the never ending thread.



TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (11/1/2013 11:45:14 AM)

It's being kept going to prevent duplicate threads from starting.



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