Why is it that most enjoy "begging"?

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Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:16:07 PM

kontry

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Perhaps I don't understand this simply because I do not specifically know how to beg... Any insight onto how to beg properly or just all around keys to a Master's mind into why they enjoy their slave to beg would be MUCH appreciated!

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:31:08 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I despise begging. Which "most" are you referring to?

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:33:53 PM

kontry

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Pretty much all masters I have either played with or talked to tell me to beg for something...this is the "most" I mean...I apologize for having not put that into the message...I'd say 60-70% of those I have encountered enjoy this.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:39:33 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

Pretty much all masters I have either played with or talked to tell me to beg for something...this is the "most" I mean...I apologize for having not put that into the message...I'd say 60-70% of those I have encountered enjoy this.

What do they make you beg for? So this is in scene context? And have you asked THEM what they get out of it? Guessing it must be some kind of control, giving them the power to say no more forcefully?

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:40:54 PM

Hillwilliam

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kontry, are you talking about rl Dominants or online 'Doms'?

Personally, I'm not that fond of it but I dont do online stuff.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:42:40 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

Perhaps I don't understand this simply because I do not specifically know how to beg... Any insight onto how to beg properly or just all around keys to a Master's mind into why they enjoy their slave to beg would be MUCH appreciated!

Begging makes me chuckle. I also like to taunt and to tease. Others will have their own reasons for either liking or not liking any given activity. Having fun is a great reason to do something that all the parties enjoy. Ask your partner if they like begging and if so, ask them 'how' they like begging and then, you know, do that if it sounds like something you'd enjoy or something you think you need to do to feed a particular aspect of yourself. There are no rules and guidelines are sketchy at best so just do what comes naturally and keep learning all about you and your (future) partners to enhance your experiences and make them special and memorable. There's really not a skeleton key for this stuff.. it's just too personal and individual and pretty much energy and/or relationship driven.

Are ya having fun yet? That's always a good question to ask!

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:44:14 PM

kontry

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I guess that is a great possibility.
I have asked some before and either get "I'm not sure" or "I just do, don't worry about it".
And it's not just in scene, it's sometimes to GET them to play I have to beg when in reality, if I have to beg for something, I'll just see it fruitless and get my kicks elsewhere and that is the reason I was trying to get some information about it...

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:49:33 PM

kontry

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Hill-In life doms. I, too, find no gratification in online play....what's the point?!

Bita-Begging doesn't do anything for me but that's not the point for me. I enjoy making my partners happy and fully pleased so if they want me to beg, I beg...but then sometimes I get punished for not doing it properly and I have asked them how they would prefer me to beg and they just say "Just do it right." ...I'm usually with strict Masters, maybe I shouldn't be?

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:52:22 PM

Hillwilliam

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I have a feeling that they decide ahead of time that you aren't going to do it properly.
Possibly they just need an excuse to get their sadism thing on.

Personally, I let a submissive know exactly what is expected. I see it as self defeating if you don't explain what you want and then "SMACK, ya fuckin did it wrong, do it again and get it right".

At least the Top/Dom should say what it was you did wrong. Everyone will be different in that aspect.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:54:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Setting someone up to fail is a bully's tactic IMO. If it's not fun,then I just don't bother!

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:55:31 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

I guess that is a great possibility.
I have asked some before and either get "I'm not sure" or "I just do, don't worry about it".
And it's not just in scene, it's sometimes to GET them to play I have to beg when in reality, if I have to beg for something, I'll just see it fruitless and get my kicks elsewhere and that is the reason I was trying to get some information about it...

When you beg a dominant, they don't have to worry about doing what they are doing.. your 'begging' is accepting them, too. You aren't just 'willing' to do something, you want it.. and you want it enough to beg for it.. and to a dom, that can mean the world to them. It alleviates the worry that they are harming you or damaging you in some way or even manipulating you against your will. Begging can be seen as your permission to let them be authentic to themselves as well.

Just something to think about. Overall, if you already know it's not your thing, you absolutely do not have to do it. Finding a partner who is compatible with you can eliminate and make the decision on whether or not to beg quite moot. It's your story.. write it the way you want.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:57:14 PM

kontry

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See! Thank you! Now I know it's a part of sadism and control...Great...
My only issue with Sadists is I never truly know when they are happy!!

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:58:31 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

Hill-In life doms. I, too, find no gratification in online play....what's the point?!

Bita-Begging doesn't do anything for me but that's not the point for me. I enjoy making my partners happy and fully pleased so if they want me to beg, I beg...but then sometimes I get punished for not doing it properly and I have asked them how they would prefer me to beg and they just say "Just do it right." ...I'm usually with strict Masters, maybe I shouldn't be?

Well, if your hearts not in it, then doing it 'right' would be problematic. I probably wouldn't worry so much on whether or not a Master was strict .. it's more important that you are compatible.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 1:59:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

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If you are screaming... we're happy. Just a rule of thumb!

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 2:00:25 PM

kontry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

When you beg a dominant, they don't have to worry about doing what they are doing.. your 'begging' is accepting them, too. You aren't just 'willing' to do something, you want it.. and you want it enough to beg for it.. and to a dom, that can mean the world to them. It alleviates the worry that they are harming you or damaging you in some way or even manipulating you against your will. Begging can be seen as your permission to let them be authentic to themselves as well.

Just something to think about. Overall, if you already know it's not your thing, you absolutely do not have to do it. Finding a partner who is compatible with you can eliminate and make the decision on whether or not to beg quite moot. It's your story.. write it the way you want.

It's not that I don't like it, just doesn't do anything for me

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 2:00:32 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If you are screaming... we're happy. Just a rule of thumb!

Yes! And to hear evil chuckling in the background is also a good sign.

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He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 2:04:51 PM

DOM68005

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It's not part of my usual play, but if it reenforces the submission, then I can see it. In some cases, I can see it as a verification/permission to do certain acts.

sub: "Please spank me." (begging goes on and on until top spanks). One way to look at it --- DOMing from the top. Another way is essentially granting permission to do the requested activity being begged for.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 2:17:23 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

See! Thank you! Now I know it's a part of sadism and control...Great...
My only issue with Sadists is I never truly know when they are happy!!

If a sadist is hurting you, that sadist is probably happy.

Personally, I only like begging when it is genuine. Yes, I do like hearing people beg Me to stop pain X once in a while. In the right mood, I like begging, tears, etc. You know. Genuine suffering. The kind that you would do anything to stop with the exceptions of removing consent for the play or using a safeword. Yes, there is a difference.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 2:20:33 PM

Restraint4TGs

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Sadism can be a very broad range of activities. Aside from compatibility on specific topics or activities many sadists enjoy having their partners be nervous, anxious, or in a state of trepidation. Even just creating that mental state in a partner can be satisfying aside from the obvious joys of suffering and duress. What Lady Hibiscus says about setting someone up to fail is squarely on the mark, in which case if the dom does it they should only be looking for the submissive to try their best. Failure is NOT bad, not trying your best IS bad and punishable. That falls more under control than sadism though.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 3:23:31 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

Perhaps I don't understand this simply because I do not specifically know how to beg... Any insight onto how to beg properly or just all around keys to a Master's mind into why they enjoy their slave to beg would be MUCH appreciated!

Saying "please!" can be pretty effective especially if it is something that you want.

"Please!" can become like a mantra but it needs to be connected to the emotion of wanting what is being offered.

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