LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LtDrygon Here are my objectives for this thread. I thought I might add. To find out if I'm a sub or dom. If dom how to control that overwhelming desire. To gain new insight about alifestyle I am interested in If a sub or dom to gain knowledge to be better at it First of all I want you to understand that my words have no hidden agenda, no intent of snark or belittlement. I have a habit of speaking and writing succinctly and that often gets taken wrongly. I am going to try very hard to avoid you misunderstanding me. You are young. You are at a point in life where hormones rule. You are at a point in life where the hormones urges are stronger than the self control and maturity. Emotionally and mentally, you are insecure and immature. Again, do NOT take that as a slam. It isn't. It's just a fact. Based upon very little information I am going to bet that you've not had an easy childhood and have a lot of buried rage within you. That, combined with the stuff I wrote about above makes you potentially dangerous. Not just to others but also to yourself. I am going to suggest something we on here suggest A LOT. Get involved in a local BDSM community and get to know the older and more experienced members. Those that have been doing this shit a long time. Those of both genders as well as dominant and submissive. Listen, watch.... especially to the people that bug you the most. Find people that have power exchange relationships that have been successful for long periods of time. Learn from them. See what makes their relationships work. Get to know good tops and bottoms and see what makes them good. See why certain tops are respected and looked up to. You are going to make mistakes and fuck shit up. We all have and we all will. The key is to avoid the fuck ups that will seriously fuck you or someone else up. You do this shit wrong and you can end up in a very bad place. A life altering bad place. You don't have to be one of those people. You can be, but you don't have to be. Also, therapy is not a bad thing. There are kink aware professionals. Getting involved in a local BDSM comunity can assist you in finding them. Also, just calling them and asking won't kill you. You remind me of my youngest brother in many ways. He just got out of rehab where he finally found help in dealing with shit he suffered as a kid. It took 3 decades of misery to get there. Booze wasn't the answer for him and BDSM isn't the answer for you. You need to do a lot of growing up, to learn to let go of the garbage of your past.....for you and for those you will be in relationships with and be playing with. As a top/dominant you need to be able to control your passions and violence. Both for yourself and for those that cede control over to you. As a bottom/submissive you need to understand yourself and not be in it to punish yourself for whatever sins you may feel you've committed or whatever you feel you may be lacking as a man. You are not still a boy but you are not yet a man. Surround yourself with top notch male role models. They won't always be gentle with you but don't get defensive. You need the guidance a good man can offer you. What I've written may be way off base. If it is, you won't be bothered by it. If it bothers you, go look in a mirror and ask yourself why. Some here will trot out the 'you are still young/a kid, etc' as a slam. Let it run off your back. Being young and immature is not a bad thing. We've ALL BEEN THERE. Enjoy your youth but don't fuck it up. There are a lot of people more than twice your age that are clueless bints. Age doesn't mean wisdom. It CAN, but it's not guaranteed. We've also seen many wise and fabulous young people here that could teach some of the older crew a lot. Stick around. There are very good people here. And relax, have fun. Learn to laugh at yourself and the rest of us. We have some real clowns running around here. Either intentially or accidentally.
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one! Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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