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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:11:21 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

I think we've discussed each of these, already. The answer to all of them remains, pretty clearly, is "stop advertising for attention, if you don't want attention...but advertising for attention, then subsequently ignoring that attention, is rude."

You put up the profile. You can hide it, if the attention is too burdensome. If you don't, you're advertising, and rejecting customers without stated reason. That's rude. My opinion. And I'll bet if I put out an ad for "free manicure," and gave the address of my salon, and you showed up, and my stylists ignored you (I mean-- they didn't tell you, "That deal is expired," or "the coupon has been rescinded," but just pretended you weren't even in the shop), you would get pissed. And if my excuses included "my previous customers were all assholes," or "too many people responded to that ad," or "when we told the other ladies that the offer expired, they crapped on our floor," you'd find that pretty sparse reasoning.

One last attempt.

A profile is not an advertisement. Particularly when a profile says, clearly, "Just here for the forums." There are all sorts of reasons to have a profile here, that have nothing to do with advertising to be hit on. For some of us, this is a social site. We like to chat here in the forums, share ideas, write stuff in our journals, share pictures, etc. If a dude can't read "Owned by ____" and "Just here for the forums", or if he chooses to ignore it, it really isn't anyone's problem but his own. So your comparison to a manicure just doesn't compute.
An odd aside:

quote:

- People here seem to get very angry when a dissenting idea is offered. Like, to the point of cursing and ad hominem attacks. This is particularly interesting among a population that is complaining about all the rude communication they receive. On top of that, hearing only one view, repeatedly, leads to a giant echo chamber (seemingly shaped like a uterus, evidently). A monolithic hivemind is nothing to be proud of.

I don't see a lot of anger here. I see a lot of frustration, particularly on your part.

If you can't understand, by now, why this echo chamber you speak of is all saying the same thing, there isn't much else to say.

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(in reply to descrite)

Post #: 301

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:15:33 PM

jezzabelle

Posts: 391
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Southeastern, MA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

You put up the profile. You can hide it, if the attention is too burdensome. If you don't, you're advertising, and rejecting customers without stated reason. That's rude. My opinion. And I'll bet if I put out an ad for "free manicure," and gave the address of my salon, and you showed up, and my stylists ignored you (I mean-- they didn't tell you, "That deal is expired," or "the coupon has been rescinded," but just pretended you weren't even in the shop), you would get pissed. And if my excuses included "my previous customers were all assholes," or "too many people responded to that ad," or "when we told the other ladies that the offer expired, they crapped on our floor," you'd find that pretty sparse reasoning.

I think a lot of the problem with your views that most of us find offensive descrite is that you are comparing us to a commodity, as if we are something for sale. My profile clearly states that I'm not looking for anything so why should I have to hide it if people are too lazy or stupid to read it? How does that then become my problem? Why is the blame placed on the owner of the profile rather than the person that either did not bother to read the profile or set their search parameters to only find those that are looking for what they have to offer? I am not something for sale and I'm not advertising anything. This isn't Walmart. It's a social site. If someone is on here to find someone, great, more power to them, but it doesn't give them anymore right to keep their profile visible than someone who is on here and not looking to find a partner. We are all here for different reasons, we all have a right to be here and we all can do with our mail as we please and if you don't like it, then don't email people! It's pretty simple.

(in reply to descrite)

Post #: 302

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:17:00 PM

punisher440

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To Whom It May Concern....

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 303

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:17:07 PM

jezzabelle

Posts: 391
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Southeastern, MA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle

FR

Do any of these people that get upset about not receiving responses ever stop to think that perhaps the reason there has been NO response is because the recipient has set their mail filters to not get said messages and they ended up in bulk?

I think that the answer is probably "nope"

I'm thinking you're probably right

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 304

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:27:54 PM

descrite

Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
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quote:

A profile is not an advertisement.

Then why not hide it?

You really don't need to have a profile to have a conversation. I belong to several other website forums that don't even have profiles. If you're not looking for attention, why have a public profile?

(in reply to jezzabelle)

Post #: 305

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:39:54 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
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If nothing else, I admire Descrite's unwavering conviction. I do, however, believe it is past time to say, "Let us agree to disagree." and leave it at that. Nothing further can possibly be gained by continuing on in this vein, other than animosity. What say we call a truce?

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 10/12/2012 8:40:28 PM >

(in reply to descrite)

Post #: 306

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:43:09 PM

RemoteUser

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Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

You really don't need to have a profile to have a conversation.

No, but sharing can incite conversation. I shared my poetry and ended up with my girl.

Now I share poetry about her, and if no one reads it, it is still written.

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Post #: 307

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:45:38 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

A profile is not an advertisement.

Then why not hide it?

You really don't need to have a profile to have a conversation. I belong to several other website forums that don't even have profiles. If you're not looking for attention, why have a public profile?

I'm not sure this is true. I put my profile up here only when I tried to send a message on CM to a friend of mine on the site, and a box popped up saying I can't send a message without having a profile. Then later, once I'd given in and done the profile so I could message, I received messages from posters who don't have profiles. Very confusing. But what the hell; it's been interesting having a profile up here! Fodder for an anthology if I were inclined to write one.

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Post #: 308

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:47:25 PM

Duskypearls

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Joined: 8/21/2011
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I do not know to whom this quote belongs, but I find it despicable, callous, hurtful, misogynistic, and think it reflects very poorly upon the author. I am deeply saddened by this state of affairs. Shame, author, shame.

I now pull my horse from this race, for I cannot, in good conscience continue, as it sickens me. Once again, A Nod is as Good as a Wink to a Blind Horse.

People here seem to get very angry when a dissenting idea is offered. Like, to the point of cursing and ad hominem attacks. This is particularly interesting among a population that is complaining about all the rude communication they receive. On top of that, hearing only one view, repeatedly, leads to a giant echo chamber (seemingly shaped like a uterus, evidently). A monolithic hivemind is nothing to be proud of.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 10/12/2012 9:28:28 PM >

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Post #: 309

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 8:56:20 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

You put up the profile. You can hide it, if the attention is too burdensome. If you don't, you're advertising, and rejecting customers without stated reason. That's rude. My opinion. <snip>

I think a lot of the problem with your views that most of us find offensive descrite is that you are comparing us to a commodity, as if we are something for sale. My profile clearly states that I'm not looking for anything so why should I have to hide it if people are too lazy or stupid to read it? <snip>

^^^This. Totally this.

The top line of my profile states in huge, bright font: Not Looking. Here For The Boards. Yet every day I get half a dozen inappropriate shotgun missives asking if someone can suck my toes or slobber on my ass or spend the rest of his life in a cage under my roof while I provide for all his needs.

So why do I keep the profile up? Because it's a statement of who I am and what I'm about. It's available on the other side so folks here on the board can get some insight into the fiddler-on-the-mountain. It's also there so my acquaintances and friends here have an easy way to keep in touch.

If some dumbass doesn't read or comprehend "not looking", I say: not my problem. You can resend your infernal bids for attention til your fingers bleed and I'm STILL going to mark 'em as spam, delete 'em unread if I find the first line offensive using the 'hover' feature, or any combination of the above plus a block and hide.

My only regret is these are digital messages and not paper junk mail. Despite being on the 'no junk mail' list for at least a decade, I've amassed a lovely pile of one-side-printed paper to use in my printer. This double use is good for the environment also. After the second side, I recycle it. Haven't bought a paper ream in several years. If ya can't get 'em to stop sending you stuff...use what they give you for your own benefit. And tape that postage-paid return envelope around a brick before mailing back to them.

(in reply to jezzabelle)

Post #: 310

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 9:13:38 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

A profile is not an advertisement.

Then why not hide it?

You really don't need to have a profile to have a conversation. I belong to several other website forums that don't even have profiles. If you're not looking for attention, why have a public profile?

quote:

For some of us, this is a social site. We like to chat here in the forums, share ideas, write stuff in our journals, share pictures, etc.

Did you stop at the first sentence of my post? A couple of sentences later I said "For some of us, this is a social site. We like to chat here in the forums, share ideas, write stuff in our journals, share pictures, etc." Did you miss that part?

You know, a lot of us are very politely explaining things to you and you're not receiving it. It's kind of the point we're all making about when we try to politely explain to someone who emails us that we're not interested. The questions just keep coming, until we stop replying altogether.

What jezzabelle said - we are not a commodity.

And Duskypearls: it was descrite who said that quote. And yep, it's very rude. Not polite, as he keeps asking us to be.

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Post #: 311

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/12/2012 9:22:25 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

As far as Discrite is concerned: Im just at the point where I think he feels the need to control everything around him, everyone around him - either in person, on the phone, on line - it doenst matter. He just needs to CONTROL. This isnt a matter of him understanding anything - cause hes not gonna.

Its a matter of him controlling the situation, and feeling like HE's in CONTROL. And until he feels that we are all going to submit to him and his ideas,

he's not going to stop.

What he's failing to understand is: WHAT ANYONE DOES WITH THEIR PROFILE AND MAIL IS NONE OF HIS FUCKING BUSINESS. PERIOD. (as long as it follows TOS)

< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/12/2012 9:37:24 PM >

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Post #: 312

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 6:47:20 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
Then why not hide it?

You really don't need to have a profile to have a conversation. I belong to several other website forums that don't even have profiles. If you're not looking for attention, why have a public profile?

For the same reasons I told you before. If I hide the profile, I won't come up on the geography search, and frankly, there's nobody else here for a hundred miles.

As a presenter, it's better for Me to have it up. It's easier for people to find Me and verify dates from My journal. Helps Me, too, since I'm not always the best with dates. Yes, I still get the random note from the other side once in a while asking if I'm *that* Lady Pact. The search feature doesn't work the same on Fet, so it's easier to find a person by name here.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 313

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 7:20:36 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Just a few moments ago I got an email from a guy who simply typed "hi". I deleted it and did not respond. Why? What am I supposed to write back? Hi? I mean there's nothing to respond to from his email.

Same here; except my guy wrote "Heyy". So on top of being lazy, boring, and not well thought out, he also is a bad speller.

Now, I was going to ignore him, but this thread made me embrace my inner bitch (not jerk, boys) and say to him:

"Thanks for that amazing and intriguing introductory note. This note, combined with your blank profile, unfortunately has not stimulated any interest on my part."

I just can't win with you guys... I give up.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 314

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 7:22:13 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

oh, just hush, C. sheesh.

LOL

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Post #: 315

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 9:19:35 AM

Moonhead

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Joined: 9/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
If nothing else, I admire Descrite's unwavering conviction.

Not sure I'd call it that looking over his posts in this thread...

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Post #: 316

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 9:29:16 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I agree, Moon. I would call it more INCITING. Shit stirring. AT best.

Willful ignorance, stubborn at that.

Just my opinion.

(There are several other terms I can think of but those would border on TOS violations)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 317

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 9:37:32 AM

Moonhead

Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
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Best not go there, true enough.
I loved that thing with him citing three science fiction authors who answer all of their fan mail as a reason why people on a dating site who don't have to worry about people not buying their next book should answer correspondence by people they don't know from a hole in the ground and who've just looked at their picture rather than reading their profile as well. (I suspect that the only reason Harlan Ellison ever answered his mail is because he was trying to defuse the villification he got from delaying The Last Dangerous Visions' publication thirty years...)

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I like to think he was eaten by rats, in the dark, during a fog. It's what he would have wanted...
(Simon R Green on the late James Herbert)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 318

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 9:38:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I love you. Gothy has a gem (as do you)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 319

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/13/2012 11:04:05 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
You put up the profile. You can hide it, if the attention is too burdensome. If you don't, you're advertising, and rejecting customers without stated reason. That's rude. My opinion.

That's like saying that women who wear short skirts deserve to be raped.

I have my profile unhidden because there are some people I enjoy talking to on here and you have to have your profile unhidden to receive mail. If someone can't read the 5 words in my profile and comprehend that I'm not looking, the onus is not on me.

The headline says it's a "community" not a dating site.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 320

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