quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It never really dies, Dude. It just goes to sleep for a while before coming back. Sure, it looks like it comes with a different face or various language, but it's never completely gone. It's like a Friday the Thirteenth movie. Freddie just keeps coming back over and over no matter how many times you kill him.

This, and fat threads, and the bitching about findommes threads, et al.

We should just have a section called "This is the Thread That Never Ends" into which the mods can drop every thread that falls into the the repetitive bitching category.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

This thread could die a happy death if the males involved could or would understand that when you hit on a female, no matter how you do it, even if it's polite, whether it's in person or online, it is an UNSOLICITED ADVANCE.

Females train themselves from the teen years not to respond to unsolicited advances, or at least, not to respond to them politely. Why? B/c otherwise you get best case scenario, men following you around b/c they don't understand a polite no is still no, think stalkers, or those who turn into instant assholes when they are rejected, or those who think enough persistence will pay (pls see Ogirl's examples above.)

This is very common. EVERY attractive, sexy female gets hit on numerous times every single time she goes out her front door. EVERY TIME. Yes, even at my age. ALL THE TIME. Men I don't know try to talk to me, try to touch me, want to get to know me, etc etc. Most are very polite. Some when I turn them down (I tend to tell them I'm married, it's something most men respect) say what a lucky man he must be.

Yes, even the abundantly curvaceous ladies. Yes, even the ladies like me of a certain age. I think submissive women get hit on even more, b/c they do tend to be more aware of their sexuality.

Please. Try. To. Get. This. Straight. Sexy women get hit on all the time. An unsolicited advance from a male is so common it really is like a viagra ad. Really. Do you respond to all your viagra ads with a no thanks? Of course not, that would be silly. What if when you did, the bot got ugly??? Turned into a stalker bot or a virus bot or a rapist bot???

What about this don't you guys get?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
you are a strange man I don't know unless and until I *do* know you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

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ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I think the issue here (to go with your above post) would be something along the lines of: "That dress really brings out the color in your eyes." garnering no response from you. That would be rude (in my opinion, anyway).

Okay, let me show you how that ends up:

Version #1
Email: That dress really brings out the color in your eyes
Me: Thank you
Email: You're welcome. I'd like to get to know you better.
Me: No, thank you. I'm just here for the forums.
Email: well, you're fat ugly whore, who needs to get a job. No one wants to fuck you anyway.


Version #2
Email: That dress really brings out the color in your eyes
Me: Thank you
Email: You're welcome. I'd like to get to know you better.
Me: No, thank you. I'm just here for the forums.
Email: Why not? You can't really be here for the forums. I think we should meet and get to know each other.
Me: No, I'm really just here for the forums
Email: C'mon let's meet for a coffee. I'll be able to give you your biggest fantasies.
Me: I'm just here for the forums. I'm not looking for anything. Please leave me alone.
Email: You might as well meet me because I'm going to tell everyone that I fucked you anyway.
Me: <at that point I block him>

O, you know I think the world of you and I have stated so, publicly on more than one occasion but that is NOT always how those things go. Is it more often than not? Maybe. I like to give people a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt but, I may be an optimist.

I will say this: If people allow themselves to forego manners because someone else might be mean to them, there's something skewed, there.

Following that logic, I would be justified in smacking some guy in the face because I think he's about to hit a lady, when they're having a heated discussion. Or, I'd be justified in turning a corner and jumping a stranger that happens to be following me down a street because I fear he may mug me.

Yes, extreme examples but that's the logical conclusion of that kind of "I'll-be-rude-first-because-they-might-be-rude-to-me". It's an ass-backwards "Golden Rule"; one that we used to joke about (in my family) as children: "Do unto others before they do unto you". It makes you just a touch better than the person hurling the hatred at you.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
Actually, OsideGirl is RIGHT ON THE MARK, the scenarios she's listed are not exagerations, and My female friends and I have witnessed and experienced these scenarios MANY TIMES, even those of us who let them know we are married (Spamming with aggressive intent is what it is). I'm at the point while using any online site, usually at a male's first amorous word I hit BLOCK because at that point it's just a dick talking and I'm not interested in what Dick has to say.
Males shouldn't be preaching to us about our reactions because they have NOOOO understanding of how constantly we get hit on (Although I know a few males who have become somewhat enlightened by creating female avatars on PSHome--a virtual world for gamer social networking which is PG13 rated--Even conservatively dressed in a business suit your female avatar will get hit on CONSTANTLY with all the above pickup lines. It's a real eye-opener for some guys). OMG, can't we just check our inbox or do some grocery shopping or gas up our car IN PEACE without constantly having to brush off some random guy who thinks he has a chance?
The males who protest our aloofness are usually the worst culprits themselves and have probably even commited "versions 1 & 2" on a few occasions. No means No boys, and if we're not talking, we're just not that into you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS


Males shouldn't be preaching to us about our reactions because they have NOOOO understanding of how constantly we get hit on

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt


And I don't believe I am alone in these thoughts in the least.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

DS, it doesn't have to be every time. Just often enough to learn the lesson of how often it happens. It's great that you don't do it. What you have to accept is that it does happen frequently. Most females on the site aren't willing to take the chance. It's much easier to block, delete, and forget all about it. Like it or not, that's the reality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

DS, it doesn't have to be every time. Just often enough to learn the lesson of how often it happens. It's great that you don't do it. What you have to accept is that it does happen frequently. Most females on the site aren't willing to take the chance. It's much easier to block, delete, and forget all about it. Like it or not, that's the reality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS


Males shouldn't be preaching to us about our reactions because they have NOOOO understanding of how constantly we get hit on

Have you considered that for every one who DOES hit on you, there are a thousand who dont?

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
It's like saying, while hanging out at a lake at dusk, for every mosquito trying to suck the blood out of you, there are a thousand that aren't. So hey, just stop swatting because they're not ALL going to bite....

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Exactly, if I know that 19 times out of 20, I'm going to get burned....eventually I stop touching the stove.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS


Males shouldn't be preaching to us about our reactions because they have NOOOO understanding of how constantly we get hit on

Have you considered that for every one who DOES hit on you, there are a thousand who dont?

Yep, I have.

And thank God for that.

But she's right. At the grocery store, at the gym, at stop lights in the car, at work...Once when I was out with my (now ex) husband, he went to the bar to get us drinks and some random dude immediately slid over to our table and hit on me.

After awhile, when a man approaches, you just tense up and hope to God he's one of those refreshing guys who aren't going to put the moves on. But you're now conditioned to not make eye contact, change your body language and prepare yourself to have to say "No thank you" again.

It's like saying, while hanging out at a lake at dusk, for every mosquito trying to suck the blood out of you, there are a thousand that aren't. So hey, just stop swatting because they're not ALL going to bite....

quote:

Exactly, if I know that 19 times out of 20, I'm going to get burned....eventually I stop touching the stove

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Um, I'm not the one who made the stove comment so I'm not sure why you quoted me as saying it.

I didn't say anything about potential rape, nor have I implied it. I explained that when I'm hit on enough times in enough places, eventually I condition myself as to my best approach for handling it.

Your reply to that is pretty mind-boggling. Wow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
My point which was totally missed is that one gender doesn't have a monopoly on abuse and suspicion of same which is where this thread had landed sqare on its feet.