quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Charles, you took what I wrote as a personal dig when it wasn't anything of the sort. I said that on this site women are looking at different criteria than they are on PoF. There are additional areas that are important here that aren't important there. Think about it. You are the same person here as you are there and you have better than average success on the other site. The logical question that must be asked is what is the reason for the difference.

In the last two pages, there have been five women and two men who got the same first impression that I did. You're showing a different side of yourself on another thread? Great! Not everybody is going to read everything that you write and base their assessment on that. I saw your profile and a couple of your originals and didn't see what I would be looking for if I were a female submissive.

I'm not being mean to you, dear. I'm telling you that what women on *this* site are looking at different selection criteria than you have listed in your profile.

The age and appearance remarks? Weak. I'd have thought better of you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

you strike me as a serial online dater, who is most likely to attract women looking for experiences rather than relationships. I mean no moral judgement or snark by this, but it might be worth considering.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

You attacked me first, i would of thought better of you.... out of left field... your tone is really offensive on your previous post. I'm not some whippersnapper to be bossed arond.

My technique is everchanging... always will be, instead of saying "your not what im looking for as a sub" give an example, otherwise its like complaining endlessly. Secondly, just because your not looking for it doesn't mean someone else isn't. So your word can't be the end all be all... it's an opinion, just like a butthole :). We all got em.

My dig was no different than yours, it was offensive and barbed appropriately. Take it in stride and be more constructive and less abrasive.

**edit. Oh and for the record i have had a few compliments in my inbox on my new "6 pack" picture.

quote:

original quote: LadyPact

Dude, you are the jock who has always gotten by on his looks and sports abilities who is now lost because research and development are more important to the status quo.

quote:

cccc333
As for "everyone losing respect for me as a dom" the only one who really needs to respect you is your slave or sub.... a message board is just that... a message board. But if i am fired upon, i will fire back, especially from someone who is judging me in a way that crosses the line of constructive criticism. Guarantee you would never say something like that to me in person, why, because i would like to think that you made a screw up because it was a keystroke and not actually looking me in the eye. We call that e-gangsterdom. :) Still no hard feelings to you but you did offend me.

quote:

original quote: LadyPact
Your dig, actually, was different. You went for the lowest area, physical appearance. Not that I care. If anything, I have to wonder why someone must attack on that front. It's like reaching, grasping, crawling because there is nothing else. I can't help you with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333
Just wanted everyone's thoughts on how Collarme stacks up on effectiveness and function.

I have a fetlife profile and i find it almost impossible to find anyone on there , they don't have a search or anything.

Thoughts everyone :)

C

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovethyself

Okay, a part of me feels the need to step in here and try to clear the air.

OP, you started off really well. I read some of the other forums that you've started and posted to, and I was impressed by your willingness to change your opinion and views based on what others had to share. Good for you for being willing to adapt.

As for the controversy in this forum, I would like to point out a couple of things that people have posted, so that we can see through the hurt feelings and retaliation, and get back to the initial conversation.

quote:

original quote: LadyPact

Dude, you are the jock who has always gotten by on his looks and sports abilities who is now lost because research and development are more important to the status quo.

LadyP, from my understanding, it wasn't your full post that he took issue with, but this particular statement, which assumes certain details about him that are untrue. I get how you got that impression, but I also understand why he got defensive about it. I wouldn't want someone stating something as fact about me if they didn't know me. But that's just me. We can only base our opinion on what we have in front of us.

quote:

I would love to post what cccc333 responded with, but it has been removed. I read it earlier, and I feel that while it was over the top, and perhaps uncalled for, it was understandable (at least to me) that he responded with insults when he perceived a criticism to be an insult. Not saying that he was right to post his initial reaction instead of thinking it over first, but understandable.

Again, I can't quote the original dig, since it isn't on here anymore. But from what I remember, his dig was physical, LadyP's dig was physical. He went overboard questioning LadyP's gender, true. I don't condone that at all. All I am trying to point out is that both sides made personal digs. So, if we can, let's just drop the slander, and get back to the subject matter at hand.

quote:

As a side note, LadyP, I have read a number of your posts, and I love reading your perspective on things. You are always concise in what you have to say, and are knowledgeable in what you share. Thank you for sharing with us. I just wanted to try to calm the waters, and let the conversation continue.

lts

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333


**edit. Oh and for the record i have had a few compliments in my inbox on my new "6 pack" picture.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333


**edit. Oh and for the record i have had a few compliments in my inbox on my new "6 pack" picture.

That photo would have made me (and my group of friends) pass you by.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovethyself

Okay, a part of me feels the need to step in here and try to clear the air.

OP, you started off really well. I read some of the other forums that you've started and posted to, and I was impressed by your willingness to change your opinion and views based on what others had to share. Good for you for being willing to adapt.

As for the controversy in this forum, I would like to point out a couple of things that people have posted, so that we can see through the hurt feelings and retaliation, and get back to the initial conversation.

quote:

original quote: LadyPact

Dude, you are the jock who has always gotten by on his looks and sports abilities who is now lost because research and development are more important to the status quo.

LadyP, from my understanding, it wasn't your full post that he took issue with, but this particular statement, which assumes certain details about him that are untrue. I get how you got that impression, but I also understand why he got defensive about it. I wouldn't want someone stating something as fact about me if they didn't know me. But that's just me. We can only base our opinion on what we have in front of us.

I would love to post what cccc333 responded with, but it has been removed. I read it earlier, and I feel that while it was over the top, and perhaps uncalled for, it was understandable (at least to me) that he responded with insults when he perceived a criticism to be an insult. Not saying that he was right to post his initial reaction instead of thinking it over first, but understandable.

quote:

cccc333
As for "everyone losing respect for me as a dom" the only one who really needs to respect you is your slave or sub.... a message board is just that... a message board. But if i am fired upon, i will fire back, especially from someone who is judging me in a way that crosses the line of constructive criticism. Guarantee you would never say something like that to me in person, why, because i would like to think that you made a screw up because it was a keystroke and not actually looking me in the eye. We call that e-gangsterdom. :) Still no hard feelings to you but you did offend me.

This right here speaks to his ability to look past individual comments.

quote:

original quote: LadyPact
Your dig, actually, was different. You went for the lowest area, physical appearance. Not that I care. If anything, I have to wonder why someone must attack on that front. It's like reaching, grasping, crawling because there is nothing else. I can't help you with that.

Again, I can't quote the original dig, since it isn't on here anymore. But from what I remember, his dig was physical, LadyP's dig was physical. He went overboard questioning LadyP's gender, true. I don't condone that at all. All I am trying to point out is that both sides made personal digs. So, if we can, let's just drop the slander, and get back to the subject matter at hand.

As a side note, LadyP, I have read a number of your posts, and I love reading your perspective on things. You are always concise in what you have to say, and are knowledgeable in what you share. Thank you for sharing with us. I just wanted to try to calm the waters, and let the conversation continue.

lts

quote:


Again, I can't quote the original dig, since it isn't on here anymore. But from what I remember, his dig was physical, LadyP's dig was physical. He went overboard questioning LadyP's gender, true. I don't condone that at all. All I am trying to point out is that both sides made personal digs. So, if we can, let's just drop the slander, and get back to the subject matter at hand.

As a side note, LadyP, I have read a number of your posts, and I love reading your perspective on things. You are always concise in what you have to say, and are knowledgeable in what you share. Thank you for sharing with us. I just wanted to try to calm the waters, and let the conversation continue.

lts

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Report | Post #: 85

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

You attacked me first, i would of thought better of you.... out of left field... your tone is really offensive on your previous post. I'm not some whippersnapper to be bossed arond.

My technique is everchanging... always will be, instead of saying "your not what im looking for as a sub" give an example, otherwise its like complaining endlessly. Secondly, just because your not looking for it doesn't mean someone else isn't. So your word can't be the end all be all... it's an opinion, just like a butthole :). We all got em.

My dig was no different than yours, it was offensive and barbed appropriately. Take it in stride and be more constructive and less abrasive.

**edit. Oh and for the record i have had a few compliments in my inbox on my new "6 pack" picture.

Ah, this is the problem. You see what I said as an attack, rather than an assessment.

Sweetie, I'm not going to change My methods just because you came along. You're so busy being offended because I said "bless you" after you sneezed and you are an atheist that you can't see the forest for the trees.

Your dig, actually, was different. You went for the lowest area, physical appearance. Not that I care. If anything, I have to wonder why someone must attack on that front. It's like reaching, grasping, crawling because there is nothing else. I can't help you with that.

I'm still perfectly willing to talk with you about My honest assessment. The fact that you don't like what I have to say doesn't matter much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

Just wanted everyone's thoughts on how Collarme stacks up on effectiveness and function.

I have a fetlife profile and i find it almost impossible to find anyone on there , they don't have a search or anything.

Thoughts everyone :)

C

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

Some no doubt probably were, but a few had an instagram with years of pictures. It's weird they are so into it... and then they dissapear, it's as if they weren't really seeking it for real, just wanted to get the experience sort of like a "chat one night stand " with kink lol

C

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

Nah i'm upset that i have had about 6-7 10 message bites, but when i move to close the deal, we do yahoo messenger or kik messenger, then theyll just dissapear... it's as if this site was just a phase for 2 days and they just got scared... it's crazy this happened with two diff girls.. who haven't logged on for the last 6 days... both 20-28... with picture and pretty attractive. On POF, if i'm really on i could date a different girl who i am at least physically attracted to every day (i would never do that, but i'm telling you thats the kind of numbers that are on there). The only thing im upset is that it seems like because kink is semi-controversial, the combination of less prospects and less social acceptance aka more tabboo, seems to make it a lot tougher just to get to the "talking on the phone" stage.

Reality check: those attractive 20 year olds may actually be a guy or a 60-year-old grandmother who just wanted someone online fun. So they email, they do the messenger thing and then disappear when you push them to talk on the phone because they never intended to talk to you on the phone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

Actually i can see your point because a 6 pac image does give off the "dbag" image, especially as the profile pic, however, at this moment i'm not changing it, in the next few days ill make it my alternate pic, and my primary will be something interesting yet less revealing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333


**edit. Oh and for the record i have had a few compliments in my inbox on my new "6 pack" picture.

That photo would have made me (and my group of friends) pass you by.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus

There is a study about narcissists ... where they concluded that narcissists are just like normal people when they're complimented (i.e., their ego is inflated), but they act viscously in retort when their idea of themselves is questioned.

The study went like this (and it's available on youtube were I to look for it):
a. Volunteers for some study were not told what the study was (single blind)
b. All were given a questionnaire which was meant to id the narcs (e.g., If I were king of the world, would it be a better place for all?)
c. Two groups were selected, unbeknownst to the narcs (narcs, and normal people)
d. All were asked to write an essay and all were graded by a flip of the coin into A or F with "great job" & "worst I've ever seen" correspondingly written in red.
e. Then the narcs were allowed to send sound volume for a period of time to show the hidden grader what their feelings were.
f. The conclusion was there were four data sets - three of which acted normally with respect to sound volume and time given to the grader.

Normal: non-narcs who were graded high, non-narcs who were graded low, and narcs who were graded high
Evil: narcissists who were graded low

quote:

I do tell them what will happen, but just because its CM doesn't mean get right into the sex... i wanna know the person as well... if someone asks me "well what will you do when i'm a bad slave?" and i tell them, "first i'm going to have you gag and blindfold yourself, then i'm going to hogtie you and store you under my bed without food and water for a day" thats a descent punishment but to me, it depends on the individual, and the degree of wrong they did.... specifics come later for me. Because they are situational.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Of course. Their ego gets bruised.