dcnovice
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quote:
Endure and persist.
Good advice, thanks!
Writerly ego that I am, I can't resist sharing a March 27th update I don't think I've posted before.
God speaks to me in strange ways sometimes, and today the Almighty’s mouthpiece was especially offbeat—a soap dispenser in an exam room at Georgetown. A nurse had wheeled me in there after my radiation treatment so that we could try to sort out why I was still feeling wobbly and even a bit dizzy. I’ve been walking with a stylish, burgundy “third leg,” as Woodrow Wilson would have called it, since Saturday afternoon.
The dispenser was mounted on a wall to the right of the door. It was full to the brim with a liquid whose soft blue shade echoed the cloaks on the Mary statues in St. Frances classrooms. Fussy, creamy-gray type announced what I took to be the product’s name: Endure. That seemed an odd “brand” for a soap, but then marketing has always lain beyond my ken.
I took this imperative as advice from above. “There’s not much you can do right now,” someone seemed to be saying, “so just hang in there with all the grace and guts you can muster.” Neither is a huge stock in my arsenal, but I said I’d try. As my mind wandered with a freedom my legs now keenly miss, the adverb “simply” swam along and cozied up to my mot du jour. “Simply endure. Simply endure,” kept gliding through my head.
The phrase sounded so familiar, even homey, I was sure I hadn’t coined it myself. Was it the motto of some proud English family? Some Churchillian utterance? The rallying cry of a band of brothers?
I brought this query to dear old Google, and it led me in toward The Voice, a new, collaborative Scripture translation drawing together the work of “scholars, pastors, writers, musicians, poets, and other artists.” I’d never heard of it, and it may be something to check out. Here is its rendering of Hebrews 10:36: “Simply endure, for when you have done as God requires of you, you will receive the promise.”
Precisely what God requires of me in this medical moment is a puzzle. I’ve embarked on a modest ministry of bringing warmth and welcome to everyone in the rad onc bunker. After being drawn out by Bob (whom I miss now that his wife’s treatment is over), I’m trying eye and even a little verbal contact. I learned today that one young man I’ve seen often is there to accompany his grandmother, who had a birthday today! My cousin Bonnie made some awesome treats that I plan to share tomorrow.
And who knows what promise awaits me? I only hope and pray it doesn’t involve a colostomy bag.
So that leaves me with the stark command that starts the sentence: Simply endure.
When the aches and throbs from falling last week linger long enough to earn me the cover of Arthritis Today, simply endure.
When going down half a flight of steps seems like a labor of Hercules, simply endure.
When bladder and legs argue over how quickly to get to the bathroom, simply endure.
When that same bladder, on reaching the toilet, chirps, “Only kidding,” simply endure.
When you wonder if you’ll ever walk without a cane again, simply endure.
When HR folks tactfully suggest looking at disability benefits, simply endure.
When Mom says “You sound good!” over the phone, and sobs erupt, simply endure.
When well-meant words clang in my ears, simply endure.
When the Zoo director offers any help he can for my struggles, and my first thought is "Can you authorize humane euthanasia?" simply endure.
When you realize other body parts still have needs of their own, sometimes requiring focus and resources that seem all too scant, simply endure.
Simply endure.
Done. For today anyway.
_____________________________
No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.
JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE
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RE: Got Prayers? (Or Good Wishes?) - 
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