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does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 12:39:07 AM

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i was wondering if anyone is interested in having a male wife???

i posted in already started thread of same name but was told by admins not to post on a thread which is older than three months. Since thats what i have always been looking for....so i started this thread.

Waiting for responses , comments , suggestions...anything welcome!

RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 1:09:47 AM

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If you read the FAQs in this forum, you will find your answer.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 1:36:44 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females

i was wondering if anyone is interested in having a male wife???

i posted in already started thread of same name but was told by admins not to post on a thread which is older than three months. Since thats what i have always been looking for....so i started this thread.

Waiting for responses , comments , suggestions...anything welcome!

Since generally speaking the word for 'male wife' is 'husband' it might be best to start the conversation off by explaining what you mean when you say 'male wife'. It's going to mean vastly different things to different people.

Do you mean a man who stays home and keeps house and raises the kid? Are you talking about feminizing a guy and having him wear a dress? Do you just mean a relationship in which the male is submissive? Because I can tell you there are people here who do all of those things, if you want a meaningful discussion you are going to need to spark it.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 3:12:55 AM

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Considering this was your post on the other thread:

quote:

Thats a wonderful thread. Thats exactly what i have been looking for ages.

Please include my name is the waiting list...if there is any. :)

I'm pretty much going for this leaning toward personal ad, rather than discussion. Not quite enough of the former for guideline violations, but I think at least some women will see the intent loud and clear.

You've just got to love those first (technically second) first impressions. You really would think that those who identify as s-types would want to show their willingness to abide by authority, even if that's just the site's authority and requests that people would keep their "what they are looking for" comments for the profile side.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 2/25/2013 3:13:22 AM >

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 3:16:18 AM

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You are very right it.

i preceive it as a man who takes cares of house, kids, everything that used to be a 50's wife responsibility. And yes submission is one of those.

Feminizing and staying at home is optional..depending upon the mutual agreement and on consent of bread winner.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 8:57:28 AM

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I had it for a long time, about ten years. My husband now has a job, sort of, that he fell into, and it's a bit of an adjustment for both of us, but the change of pace is refreshing. We'll see we like it for the long term.

I can tell you that if you want a woman who is the breadwinner type, she has to be successful enough to support both of you, so she's going to be pretty demanding and also very busy. That means less fantasy probably, and more reality. It doesn't mean you get to just be feminized and enjoy a fantasy life, but actually keep life in order and be extremely proactive and show a tremendous amount of initiative.

If you are the type that really likes to be micormanaged or told what to do, that's probably not going to work. She won't have time for that. You have to know what to do on your own and not need a ton of direction. I think a lot of submissive men who want to be a housewife idealize the thought that they have constant attention or direction when in reality they are expected to have a lot of self direction and motivation. And cannot be NEEDY!!

It's not that glamorous!

Akasha

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 10:07:32 AM

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The sentiment is lovely as a concept (IMO). However, without clarification about the desires/needs that usually accompany this, you might find yourself in an unsatisfactory relationship, wondering what went wrong.

quote:

AAkasha

If you are the type that really likes to be micormanaged or told what to do, that's probably not going to work. She won't have time for that. You have to know what to do on your own and not need a ton of direction. I think a lot of submissive men who want to be a housewife idealize the thought that they have constant attention or direction when in reality they are expected to have a lot of self direction and motivation. And cannot be NEEDY!!

This is another aspect of the male wife desire I've run into. I generally mind giving quite a bit of attention, I simply cannot be a slave to my servant, because he needs constant direction, and supervision. M

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 12:43:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

The sentiment is lovely as a concept (IMO). However, without clarification about the desires/needs that usually accompany this, you might find yourself in an unsatisfactory relationship, wondering what went wrong.

quote:

AAkasha

If you are the type that really likes to be micormanaged or told what to do, that's probably not going to work. She won't have time for that. You have to know what to do on your own and not need a ton of direction. I think a lot of submissive men who want to be a housewife idealize the thought that they have constant attention or direction when in reality they are expected to have a lot of self direction and motivation. And cannot be NEEDY!!
This is another aspect of the male wife desire I've run into. I generally mind giving quite a bit of attention, I simply cannot be a slave to my servant, because he needs constant direction, and supervision. M

The one thing I realized after having a "male wife" for many years is how many things he did for me which I never knew about or monitored or acknowledged, which is a credit to how good he was, and also how selfish/bad a "boss" I was - and I readily admit that. But when you are running a business, the thing you sometimes desperately need is a right hand person who can read your mind, be efficient, and run without a lot of hand holding. At the end of the day when the work stuff was over we operated as a couple, but during the "male wife" stuff, I was not doting on him or micromanaging *at all* and he was a mindreader. I had been with other men who were very. very needy and that got old fast.

Akasha

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 7:24:23 PM

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Being in the trans end of things I have read a shitload of erotic fiction and stuff around the idea of a 'male wife', whatever you want to call it, and if you read the stories, you have to wonder about how such a thing would play out in real life, for much the same reasons others have pointed out. Many of those who fantasize about this think Leave it to Beaver and the old Donna Reed show were real, their idea of a 'male wife' is someone who is this nitwit a la the character Lucille Ball played, being told by the 'real wife' what to do, the mindless twit dusting and baking cookies and whatever. I am all for people finding their dreams and living life as they wish, but what kind of a dominant woman would want a husband wife as described? As Akasha said, to keep such a household going, the woman would need to be accomplished,working hard, and who would want to have a relationship where someone like Akasha would be running a business, or being a well paid engineer or executive or lawyer or whatever, then come home and have to pay the bills and balance the checkbook (or the modern equivalent) cause 'wifey' just is too scatterbrained to do that. Quite honestly, I have heard women on BD/SM boards get pissed off when they read this, and I don't blame them. Maybe because my family has lived the 'conventional' existence for many years, me as the breadwinner working lucrative but intense jobs, and my better half (for sure) taking care of so much, including a very demanding kid, their view of things is insulting to me, because I know and appreciate how much my love does and has done in keeping things going.

My answer is if someone has a male wife, they better expect to be the major domo of the household, keeping on top of everything, truly keeping their lives afloat while their better half is out busting her ass. I could just see it, the dominant wife is working 14 hour days, stressed to hell, and the 'husband wife' is pouting because the wife is just too damn tired to do anything but grab a bite to eat, take a shower and go to bed....

Btw, Akasha, it is really cool seeing you on here (I am active on here in fits and starts). I first saw you posting back in the alt newsgroup days on the net many years ago, when I first seriously was getting into this in a lifestyle basis (and what a weird journey it has been for me since then.....the Dead had it right with "what a long, strange trip its been"....), glad to see you are still out there burning up the firmament:)

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/25/2013 11:04:46 PM

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Akasha,

i agree. You have pointed out the right things.

i think, the things should be prioritized. The main objective should be Her comfort and preferences. If She likes to micromanage things, one should be happy to comply. If that's not Her priority or She don't have time for it, then 'wife' should work up to his best efforts to manage things at home so that at the end of the day, there would be tasks accomplished and things done satisfactorily.

i also agree that for a successful Woman time is always a limitation. So for a 'wife' self direction and motivation is a must.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 2:07:36 AM

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Very intriguing.....'male wife' :)

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 3:02:56 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

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Most of the female wives in my family and extended family work outside the home. Out of dozens of female wives, only my paternal grandmother stayed at home and focused on her family exclusively...this was only possible because her hubby had a very good job. When I think of male wife, I think of a working male wife. Unless he is disabled.

As for taking the wife role out of fantasy land and into reality...Home Economics. It's more than just baking cookies in school. There are old books, probably school books everyone's parents and grandparents studied, still floating around on Ebay. Home Ec. is where I learned that food didn't have to come in a can or in tv dinner form but could be made from scratch. I learned to sew, etc. Practical things to help run a home and save money, and yes, even become something of a mind reader to the "husband". If women can learn these skills, then why not men too?

It is too late for my boy to go back to school and take Home Ec. I'm the one teaching him homemaking skills and caretaking. (Cooking, washing clothes, cleaning, budgeting, etc.) If we were young enough to have kids I would be teaching him how to change diapers, cut a toddlers fingernails (while they're sleeping is best), and a million other things to make the family run more smoothly.

What would a male wife do? Last night mine sat with me in front of the tv, helping me pick out sequins from a scrap of gold sequin fabric and putting them into an empty pill jar. It took a very long time and we enjoyed each other's companionship...and from time to time he saw to my comfort...by getting me some fresh hot tea or whatever else that would make me more comfortable. I'm into crafts and the fabric scraps were given to me by my aunt, who has since passed away, to make clothes for Barbie dolls. I'm going to be teaching the neighbor's daughter how to make Barbie clothes, etc. A sequin held in place by a seed bead make a nice faux latch for a Barbie purse. When I wake up he will be making me corned beef hash, an egg, two pieces of toast, some OJ, and some hot tea. He will be doing dishes afterward, nekkid (grins), and I might smack that ass on my way to the bathroom. Yep, I found my submissive boyfriend and I put him into panties...to remind him who "wears the pants" and who wears the panties in this family.

When I was looking for the right man, I met many who were very high maintenance. They also wanted to sponge off of me financially, run around the house all day long in fetish clothing, be the center of attention every blessed moment...basically, their idea of being a male wife was entirely different from my own. Anyway, yeah, I was seeking and I found him.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 4:33:03 AM

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Good.

Since i am a businesswoman, i want a wife who stays at home. Doing all house work. Especially making use of home economics. :)

he must take deep interest in decorating house and cooking. My schedule is very tough. So he must not need to be supervised.

i dont want to feminize him, but neither want to him masculine also. Any suggestions regarding this?

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 7:57:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
The one thing I realized after having a "male wife" for many years is how many things he did for me which I never knew about or monitored or acknowledged, which is a credit to how good he was, and also how selfish/bad a "boss" I was - and I readily admit that. But when you are running a business, the thing you sometimes desperately need is a right hand person who can read your mind, be efficient, and run without a lot of hand holding. At the end of the day when the work stuff was over we operated as a couple, but during the "male wife" stuff, I was not doting on him or micromanaging *at all* and he was a mindreader. I had been with other men who were very. very needy and that got old fast.
Akasha

What you describe is essentially what makes every relationship work. Not so much that a man comes to know you so well, paying attention, that he can predict with some certainty, what you may need on a given day, but I imagine it's more, you trained him on how you need the house run, and your days made easier, and he paid attention.

The process of getting to that point, I imagine takes time, and attention. You probably weren't a bad boss at all, so much as he was/is an attentive man, whose goal in life is loving, and learning you, and your needs. He's been your husband for a decade, and when it works well, there is nothing better. Different people need different amounts of attention. Some of us are more or less patient; some more emotional than practical in our connections. I don't like to call anyone needy, because I feel that it's a very subjective thing for each person. One's needy, might be someone's emotionally connected balance; or another's requiring too much attention, and care.

Certainly, if the op wants to become a male wife, important things to keep in mind are: courtship and pursuit are important, while also paying close attention to learning the lady's desires for how the home is run/maintained. M

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 10:35:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females
i preceive it as a man who takes cares of house, kids, everything that used to be a 50's wife responsibility. And yes submission is one of those.

Feminizing and staying at home is optional..depending upon the mutual agreement and on consent of bread winner.

I am in a male wives group over on FetLife, and I tend to disagree with most of the men who post in that group (so I don't post there very often).

For most of them, being a "male wife" almost always includes a feminization dynamic. I don't quite agree with that.

I have been in a live-in D/s dynamics in which I was referred to by my Domme as a "male wife". But the way that she defined it was more focused on the fact that I was a male who did most of the housework. I cooked all of the meals, did most of the cleaning, etc. Many of these tasks fit under the traditional "wife" job description if you're referring to a 1950's household.

In addition to the "activities" in the relationship, there was also the reversal of the authority. We often joked that if we were married, the vows would have to be reversed, and i would be the one who had to pledge to "love, honor, and obey". It was this point that led us to the term "male wife". Frankly, it was the descriptor that best fit our dynamic, and it felt very comfortable to both of us. I never saw mine as a feminine role at all. But she was clearly the authority figure in the household, and my role was primarily to see to her needs.

But unlike the way some on here have defined it, I was also the primary bread winner. So it was not a "stay-at-home wife" situation as some described. So outside of the home, I guess you could say that I played the traditional "husband role", but inside of the home, my role (and authority dynamic) would more accurately have fit the description of a "male wife".

I hope that made sense.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 4:17:20 PM

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I want a relationship like that, but the guy has got to keep to himself. I want to return home to clean house, cooked meal, etc etc, but I'm not going to checking up on your work either. It's especially irritating to see a guy throw a fit because I decided not to whop that ass. I don't want to deal with that.

Anyways I'm not looking now. lol

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 2/26/2013 7:07:01 PM

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Rochsub2009, I understand completely. We have the same type of household. I work full time and then come home and take care of items which need to be done. We share cooking duties. If MM feels like cooking, she cooks, if not, I prepare the meals, which means sometimes dinner is later than others. I do the dishes and most of the laundry. Once in a while MM will fold clothes while I am working and I always acknowledge anything she helps with, because sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. I don't demand or expect her attention and with a baby in the house, a lot of our time is spent taking care of the little ones needs. As with our first child who is now married with a family of her own, I do everything from changing diapers, bathing, playing with the baby and doing the extra laundry which comes with the gift of our child.

I am not feminized and MM doesn't expect me to wear panties. Although other Dommes prefer this, she doesn't and I respect her wishes. In public, although she still is the Boss, she prefers not to draw attention to our relationship. Although, if you were in a department store at the same time we were and walking past cheese boards, the belt section or anything which could be used as a paddle, such as a bath brush, you may see her playfully give me a quick swat. But odds are against seeing this, as she is pretty slick at performing her actions playfully.

She has kept me for over 25 years and I hope I can continue to please her for the next 25 years or more. We have discussed redoing our vows, but she swears she will not be the one in the dress the next time. I laugh nervously, as she has never put me in a dress before. I think this is her way of saying there is no need to renew our vows. Who am I to argue. :-)

thanks for allowing me my two cents worth.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/2/2013 5:54:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
For most of them, being a "male wife" almost always includes a feminization dynamic. I don't quite agree with that.

I have been in a live-in D/s dynamics in which I was referred to by my Domme as a "male wife". But the way that she defined it was more focused on the fact that I was a male who did most of the housework. I cooked all of the meals, did most of the cleaning, etc. Many of these tasks fit under the traditional "wife" job description if you're referring to a 1950's household.

In addition to the "activities" in the relationship, there was also the reversal of the authority. We often joked that if we were married, the vows would have to be reversed, and i would be the one who had to pledge to "love, honor, and obey". It was this point that led us to the term "male wife". Frankly, it was the descriptor that best fit our dynamic, and it felt very comfortable to both of us. I never saw mine as a feminine role at all. But she was clearly the authority figure in the household, and my role was primarily to see to her needs.

But unlike the way some on here have defined it, I was also the primary bread winner. So it was not a "stay-at-home wife" situation as some described. So outside of the home, I guess you could say that I played the traditional "husband role", but inside of the home, my role (and authority dynamic) would more accurately have fit the description of a "male wife".

I hope that made sense

This is the best descrition of what I would want in a male wife. Not the dress up girl, or near naked housecleaner. I wouldn't even personally have a problem with the occacional dress up, but it simply does not fit in my life, as I haven't lived "alone, and away for family in a long time. M

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/2/2013 6:45:10 AM

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I kinda already have a male wife. Without all the drama I envision from many of the guys that profess to want to be one.

I always chuckle when I read a post like the OP. I imagine that a male's idea of BEING a male wife is often times very different than a female's idea of HAVING a male wife. As is often the case with F/m dynamic, topics.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/2/2013 8:28:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females

i was wondering if anyone is interested in having a male wife???

i posted in already started thread of same name but was told by admins not to post on a thread which is older than three months. Since thats what i have always been looking for....so i started this thread.

Waiting for responses , comments , suggestions...anything welcome!

First I would like to hear what you learned from the 36 page thread you had posted on earlier.

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