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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
[Poll]

How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play?


Dominant female: It's a failure were he not to reach orgasm
  2% (3)
Dominant female: He is not allowed an orgasm (unless I say so).
  12% (15)
Dominant male: It's a failure were she not to reach orgasm
  23% (28)
Dominant male: She is not allowed an orgasm (unless I say so).
  14% (17)
Submissive female: It's a failure were I not to reach orgasm
  8% (10)
Submissive female: It's OK if I do not reach orgasmic delight.
  17% (21)
Submissive male: It's a failure were I not to reach orgasm
  3% (4)
Submissive male: It's OK if I do not reach orgasmic delight.
  16% (20)


Total Votes : 118
(last vote on : 9/7/2016 12:57:41 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/21/2013 6:05:44 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
There is no failure in sex! What you call, "failure," I call - inspiration to keep trying. Practice, practice!


Oh there are some epic fails.
http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex

(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/21/2013 8:29:25 AM   
Cilicia


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Oh there are some epic fails.
http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex


Here's a quick summary:
1. Kenneth Pinyan died when horse cock perforated his colon
2. Kirsten Taylor died of nipple clamps attached to 120v power strip
3. Ralph Santiago died of suffocation wearing a gas mask inhaling poppers
4. Attila the Hun died of a broken nose during sex???? <=== proof requested
5. Chelsea Tumblest (apropos name) fell off a roof during sex
6. Tracey Scully called out the wrong name during sex & her husband killed her for it
7. Felix Faure, president of France, died during oral sex
8. Lu of China hada heart attack outside outside in the cold while masturbating
9. Stefanie Tanzer died of carbon monoxide poisoning having sex in a car in a garage
10. Sergey Tuganov died of a heart attack after ingesting "a bottle of Viagra"

The unbelievable ones, to me, are the first three; the rest seem like normal murders and run-of-the-mill Darwinian selection episodes.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/21/2013 8:33:41 AM   
Cilicia


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline 		Back on topic, I should note that I spoke with a Domme who said it was "okay if I masturbated" after she removed the cock cage (that I don't have yet).

That, to me, means that 'my' orgasm is somewhat important to her, in our D/s play.


(in reply to Cilicia)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/21/2013 9:05:08 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Back to the op.
It depends on my mood whether the sub doesn't cum at all, cums once or twice or cums so many times she has to call red before she passes out.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Cilicia)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/21/2013 9:10:53 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

If we are having sex, he wants me to have an orgasm. Some people feel powerful by withholding, he feels powerful by giving. This is especially true since I can't do it myself and so it is his sole domain.

That said, D/s is present in all of our lives and most of the time it has nothing to do with sex. If we are having some kinky play, it often but not always becomes sex. So it's not necessary in play.

Every now and then he'll have a blowjob on demand, which obviously doesn't include an orgasm for me.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/22/2013 8:26:51 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: intellisubbear
While the votes are only at about 50, I find it interesting that the Dominant females don't feel orgasm is anywhere near as important for their partners as do the Dominant males to date.

1 Dominant female felt it was important while 15 Dominant males did.

This explains a lot!


Don't get me wrong I feel bad for submissive males, seems like you guys really get the short end of the stick. That said the poll in no way said that orgasm wasn't important, there wasn't an option for that.

The poll was about whether D/s play is a failure were he/she not to reach orgasm. People who have had enjoyable scenes at clubs/play parties should be disagreeing with that statement. For instance last time we went to a club nobody had an orgasm, I mean Christ on a stick it was a public space. But she creamed her chastity belt so bad the secondary shield was completely full, I wouldn't call that a failure.

(in reply to intellisubbear)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/24/2013 12:47:04 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		It would be more accurate to say that the submissive's excitement is important to me. If the submissive weren't at least as excited as I, I would consider that a problem.

Also, whereas I enjoy teasing, orgasm control, and control over the submissive's authority over their own body, among many other scenes, I also want to use the submissive sexually, so perpetual chastity would interfere with that. Besides, I just can't relate to someone being denied sexually all the time or wanting to be. I think it would be a mismatch between us, in personal chemistry. And, too, for me, that would be a bit "all about the submissive," in a backhanded sort of way.

This is not to say that D/s begins or ends with the act of sex; for me, not at all so. But I will say, I can be very turned on by someone doing something entirely nonsexual for me that's purely submissive.

To answer this question in essence, and to Cilicia, who posed the question, "does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter involve the male getting off?" , different people are just wired differently. Not every dominant is into denial for their submissives, nor all we all indifferent to the submissive's sexuality or sexual release - or our own! On the other hand, not every dominant or submissive wants physical sexual relations with their BDSM. And then, for some of us the question is, is there such a thing as sex with No BDSM?

Really, there are about as many specific scenes and kinks and preferences as there are inidividuals or pairs of people.

But what I think you can rightfully say about anyone into bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadomasochism, is that, in one sense or another, it gets them off!

quote:

FrostedFlake
It seems there are two kinds of people.

Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4406184





< Message edited by MadameMarque -- 3/24/2013 12:48:27 AM >

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/24/2013 6:28:17 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Back to the op.
It depends on my mood whether the sub doesn't cum at all, cums once or twice or cums so many times she has to call red before she passes out.

Now, Hilly, how can she be crying red when her mouth's stuffed with a cock gag.
Or are you getting soft in your dotage?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/24/2013 8:51:27 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Blankpain

If it's not about sex, then it's merely art.

If it's not about art, then it's merely sex.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to Blankpain)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/25/2013 4:36:33 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		None of these apply to my relationships directly... my D/s relationships aren't focused around sex and my top/bottom play is almost never sexual in any way at all. Neither of us get aroused to begin with, neither of us are doing it because we find it sexy.

So, when my normal partners don't orgasm during play it isn't a failure or a denial... it was never part of our desires or expectations for either one of us to begin with. Just like it wasn't for me to, either.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/25/2013 6:39:39 PM   
WebWanderer


Posts: 255
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Fort Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

my D/s relationships aren't focused around sex and my top/bottom play is almost never sexual in any way at all. Neither of us get aroused to begin with, neither of us are doing it because we find it sexy.

Same here!

I've actually met some people who seriously thought that the S in BDSM stood for sex. I'm asexual. For me, BDSM is a great way to unwind, to please another, to experience genuine human connection without the added bullshit of social rituals and fake pleasantries.

_____________________________

Author of Introduction to Self-Bondage and Nine Tales of Submission - now available on Kindle! :)

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/26/2013 2:01:18 PM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		My lack of orgasm is very important - I would not play with somebody who insisted on me orgasming.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/26/2013 6:52:41 PM   
Alltiedup411


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline 		When I'm on top it isn't so much if she does or doesn't. It's a matter of how many different ways can I bring her to climax without touching her genitalia. And how many times.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/29/2013 8:51:03 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline 		Orgasmic delight?

I'm afraid that, at this point, I'm laughing too much to take your poll all that seriously.



_____________________________

The asshole formerly known as Awareness

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/29/2013 9:16:15 AM   
Snitch


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

Orgasmic delight?



My orgasm is in someone not having theirs!

(in reply to TAFKAA)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 3/29/2013 5:19:17 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		Well, as the sub, I find the orgasm quite significant.

Substantial, even.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s ... - 4/18/2013 12:27:28 AM   
jpin


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/2/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia


quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Oh there are some epic fails.
http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex


Here's a quick summary:
1. Kenneth Pinyan died when horse cock perforated his colon
2. Kirsten Taylor died of nipple clamps attached to 120v power strip
3. Ralph Santiago died of suffocation wearing a gas mask inhaling poppers
4. Attila the Hun died of a broken nose during sex???? <=== proof requested
5. Chelsea Tumblest (apropos name) fell off a roof during sex
6. Tracey Scully called out the wrong name during sex & her husband killed her for it
7. Felix Faure, president of France, died during oral sex
8. Lu of China hada heart attack outside outside in the cold while masturbating
9. Stefanie Tanzer died of carbon monoxide poisoning having sex in a car in a garage
10. Sergey Tuganov died of a heart attack after ingesting "a bottle of Viagra"

The unbelievable ones, to me, are the first three; the rest seem like normal murders and run-of-the-mill Darwinian selection episodes.


I find the first three believable. Anal fissures are common for rough anal sex/too big too fast.....a horse? that could certainly perforate!

And electricity is VERY dangerous......

(in reply to Cilicia)
Profile   Post #: 57
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