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AAkasha -> RE: What do the Guys want in a Mistress/Domme? (4/26/2013 9:47:30 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
quote:
ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
I want to ask, if the subs here could say "The Mistress/Domme I want should be.....(fill in the blank)," what all would you put in that blank??
I'm late to this thread, but better late than never.
This may sound like an obvious answer, but the most important trait in my opinion is "dominance". Like I said, that may sound obvious, but it really isn't. It never ceases to amaze me how many people give themselves the label "Dom" or "Domme", yet as far as I can tell, they don't have a dominant bone in their body. Many (most?) that I run into gave themselves the label, and would have a difficult time finding anyone else who agrees with that assessment.
To make matters worse, I'm a sub with a very strong personality. So a weak Domme has no hope of ever dominating me. More often than not, I end up dominating the "Domme". That's why a truly dominant personality is the top criterion on my list.
Once dominance is established, everything else is optional.
I'm curious how you determine if they have a dominant personality if you are not yet intimate with them. In other words, do you seek a relationship with a woman who is not only dominant sensually/intimately but also socially and outwardly as her personality -- ie, you would notice her dominant personality in a group setting? She is the one that gravitates to leadership position, is always an extrovert type?
Some femdoms may have a variety of personality types outwardly that can vary on a scale of dominance but in relationships are dominant, or are sexually dominant, or both. These are traits you wouldn't necessarily see in a woman until later on.
When I was single and would date submissive men sometimes they would comment that I did not "seem" as dominant as they expected - socially, I am assertive, gregarious, outgoing, but very much behave as an equal with a man in a social setting unless I'm actually pursuing him (then all bets are off, I turn full predator, hah). I'm not shy at all. I think men sometimes expect dominant women to have a more cool exterior or be "domineering" in nature. While that style may come out in "playtime" (if that's a mood I feel like adapting) it's not a face I put on while having lunch.
Akasha
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