Zonie63
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Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
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ORIGINAL: tweakabelle
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For a man, it may be considered weak if he has to ask for help. A man doesn't want to appear as weak, he wants to appear strong. Somehow, within a twisted, amoral mindset, the conclusion is reached that it's preferable to kill a bunch of people rather than ask for help, which probably won't be forthcoming anyway. From that point of view, he might already feel rejected and despised by society, so he might reason that if society is going to hate him anyway, he'd rather be hated for being a monster - something to be feared - rather than as a weakling, something to scorn and ridicule. That may be why people bully others; because they figure everyone is going to hate them anyway - might as well give them a good reason to.
I suppose if there are ways of channeling these energies into something more positive, then it would involve finding ways of making them feel productive, needed, and useful.
A good place to start might be to stop instilling outdated and obsolete notions of masculinity into young boys' minds.
Most young males are introduced to the 'warrior' myth, and are taught that these are appropriate role models for them. Their toys are war toys, their stories, comics and media are filled with 'action' heroes saving the world from evil, their sports are taught as "substitutes for war" that reward violence and aggression. Whatever use this myth may have had in the past, is it appropriate to encourage it in a society that has left cave dwelling far behind it?
I can see what you're saying, but I think it actually goes beyond this. I think of the old cowboy movies during the first half of the 20th century, and even though the "good guys" were tough, action hero types, they still had a certain code that they followed, however mythic and unrealistic it might have been. However, by the 1970s, the cynicism about that imagery and many of the myths we grew up with might have caused an escalation and exacerbation of nihilism. The line between the "good guys" and the "bad guys" became blurred. Movies started glorifying criminals and showed people the seedy underside of our society. By 1990, the ethos of popular culture was effectively summed up by this line from Goodfellas:
Henry Hill: For us to live any other way was nuts. Uh, to us, those goody-good people who worked shitty jobs for bum paychecks and took the subway to work every day, and worried about their bills, were dead. I mean they were suckers. They had no balls. If we wanted something we just took it. If anyone complained twice they got hit so bad, believe me, they never complained again
So, perhaps in order to stop instilling outdated and obsolete notions of masculinity in young boys, we should first make these notions outdated and obsolete. If those who cheat and take what they want by force can get away with it and end up winning, then that will have a far greater influence on the minds of young boys. Even if it's not glorified in fiction, they can still see the news and read their own history. It's easy to say that these are outdated and obsolete notions of masculinity, but how many people actually believe that?
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From infancy boys are trained to suppress their feelings and emotions, that expressing these feelings and emotions is (heaven forbid!) unmanly. How can we expect troubled youths to reach out for help when all their lives they have been trained to do the precise opposite? We fill them with the false notion that the very act of reaching out is unmanly, that the feelings and emotions they need to address and talk through are not for sharing, that 'real men' just "grin and bear it" stupidlystoically.
Actually, there is one emotion which is still "manly" to express, and that's anger. Compassion is also acceptable, provided it's done from a position of strength. But crying, sadness, whining, sniveling, despair - all that's out of the question. I've noticed on various internet forums (including this one), there seems to be a very sharp reaction against any forms of "whining."
It's not just a question of what boys are taught or trained to do. It's also a matter of society's reaction if and when they do reach out for help. Society is not sympathetic. Society doesn't give a shit about these people, not really. There are social programs geared towards warehousing and chemical behavioral management, but there's no real "help" available, not unless you can pay top dollar.
So, society itself needs to be retrained, not just the young boys.
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It ought not come as a total surprise then to see that most violence is committed by young males When violence is taught as an acceptable conflict resolution mechanism, it is going to be used as conflict resolution mechanism.
Overall, we've lived in a violent world. That's our history, it's who and what we are. I don't think there's any way to get away from it entirely. However, during that same history, there have been times when some have made an honest effort to reduce violence and curb the predatory nature of our species. I think we've tried to become more civilized, and even when it seems like we're making some progress, we seem to regress again.
I think there might be some ways of making things better. There's a local organization called Ben's Bells which encourages people to "Be kind." I'm not sure how much it actually works, but every little bit helps, I suppose. I'm not sure how much kindness we can actually expect in this world. So much of it seems so unkind that violence is just a natural consequence.
Sometimes, I wonder if the fictional "Vulcans" on Star Trek had the right idea. Eliminate emotions altogether and embrace a doctrine of logic and reason as their guiding principles. That may be the only way.
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RE: Young Men and Mass Violence - 
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