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UllrsIshtar -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (4/23/2013 7:41:55 AM)
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I'm with littlewonder on this, a lot of it depends on context.
That being said, condescension is something that people do to make themselves feel superior over others. In the case of somebody incredible insecure, they do it all the time, because they need to feel superior all the time to compensate for their own inferiority complex.
However, most capable people who have confidence in themselves sometimes also struggle with a -sometimes well founded- feeling of superiority towards others. It's human nature to constantly measure your own capability against others, and if you consistently find you come out ahead, it's sometimes hard not to feel superior. Most capable people don't give into that feeling regularly though, because they know it's not a productive, useful way of approaching others, and giving in to the tendency to sometimes feel superior too often will give you a skewed perception of yourself eventually.
It's why context is so important to me here.
If somebody's attitude is mostly, and continuously one of condescension, I'm going to assume their a very insecure person overcompensating.
If it's the occasional snare at somebody very obviously being a complete dumbass, then I just assume they're having a moment of self-endulgence to deal with a very normal emotion is a way that doesn't inhibit them from productive interaction in general.
In the second case, I don't see it as a weakness in dominants, because I don't see it as an indication that they can't control themselves. On the contrary, I see it as an indication that they generally are very much in control of themselves, and are that moment self-endulging in a guilty pleasure.
I don't expect dominants to be stoic or devoid of faults, so I generally have much more respect for somebody who can find a balance between "productive interactions" and "self-endulgance in less than productive interactions" than with somebody who has the need to overcompensate and try to project this image of themselves as a perfect flawless human at all times.
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