RE: Findom makes it hard for subs.

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (Full Version)

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AliceMajesty -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 7:33:38 AM)
Can I just say something that I'm astounded hasn't been brought up before in this thread... Just don't write to FinDommes then! Trust me, we don't want your messages! Most of us, at least the ones with basic intelligence, identify ourselves as FinDomme on our profiles - yet we CONSTANTLY get messages from subs who seem to be incapable of reading since they are in no way ok with findom. If you're not into scat, you don't write to Dommes that mention on their profile that they're looking for that, so why are you writing to FinDommes if you're not into findom? It annoys the crap out of us! If you can't even bother to read profiles, then you're lazy and stupid and no Domme will want you. If you read profiles but think "I'm so amazing, she'll have to make an exception for me and change to give me everything I want" then you're not submissive, because expecting someone to change who they are because you are supposedly too damn awesome to pass up is not submissive! Basically, if you are smart, you will take the time to read profiles and get an impression of the Dommes before you write to them. If you're getting contacted by FinDommes, then simply write in your profile that you're not interested in findom - that's a 100% effective way to avoid a message from me at least.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 8:09:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AliceMajesty Just don't write to FinDommes then! I don't think that's the issue. Findommes have some of the best pics on the site -- and you don't look bad yourself -- because they're trying to advertise. And then, right in the first line maybe, it says, "You're a loser, you'll never have me, but I might pay attention to you if you send me an Amazon gc." This profile becomes a focal point for men who already have trouble meeting women, who already find women unattainable. It's like rubbing salt in their wounds of rejection, and those torturing bitches need to be deleted and punished.

AliceMajesty -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 9:01:01 AM)
Well, if it's the first sentence in the profile they're even easier to avoid then. You know why many FinDommes write like that? Because it's what most finsubs want to hear. This fetish is a lot about unattainability and superiority, a finsub wants to feel like the woman he's serving is so much better than him in every single way and that he should consider himself blissfully lucky to be allowed to contribute to her happiness by buying her things - because otherwise a woman like that would never even look at him. I personally don't think it's a very elegant way to introduce yourself, something my profile text probably shows, but then I have to handle all the idiots that can't take an elegant approach and think they can get away with not being into findom and still get whatever it is they want from me. I imagine many FinDommes are rude and grotesque in their profile texts on purpose to scare these morons off. Don't hate us because we're beautiful, dude! Are we supposed to steal a less attractive girl's photos, or only upload the worst pictures ever taken of us, just to spare your feelings?

czarski -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 9:05:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AliceMajesty Most of us, at least the ones with basic intelligence, identify ourselves as FinDomme on our profiles - Thank you. I couldn't convince people (in another thread) that Findommes would willingly identify as Findommes. They expected you to lie and hide your financial motive. Now you confirm my assessment. I actually have a higher opinion of Findommes that many of those who argue with me. My idea was NOT about banning findom, NOT about chastising it, NOT about making it more difficult. I simply suggested Findommes should be given the option to mark their profiles as $, so that we don't have to read five paragraphs of pretentious boast before discovering the words "money", "tribute", "shopping", etc. But well. We have learned to scan profiles for these key words. Moreover. We have learned to identify findomm by the photo (90% accuracy in my case). So no big deal.

MasterSadric -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 9:28:04 AM)
Excellent point. You don't see the masters demanding money because we'd get laughed right out of the place. I also don't see very many mistresses who are demanding payment from submissive females either.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 10:54:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSadric I also don't see very many mistresses who are demanding payment from submissive females either. That's because women don't think with their vaginas the way men think with their penises. [:D]

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 11:48:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSadric I also don't see very many mistresses who are demanding payment from submissive females either. That's because women don't think with their vaginas the way men think with their penises. [:D] [sm=threadhijack.gif] Nominating this exchange for Sunny Quote of the Day. /end [sm=threadhijack.gif]

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 11:58:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VoluptuousVenus I would like to whine, rant, and make a general ass of myself regarding men who contact me, expecting me to be a kink dispenser. Rather than create my own thread, I would like to hijack this one and alter the original post as such: It seems that 8/10 submissive males here are all about being horny douche bags. There's nothing wrong with being a bottom, as that can be part of submitting. I feel, however, that horny douche bags take away the integrity of our lifestyle and attracts the wrong people. If I read 30 messages right now, 25 will say something along the lines of: "Give me pain and have sex with me", "I'm normally Dominant, but I've always secretly wanted to submit to a woman", etc. They don't care who you are, or if you're even dominant, as long as they get sex. It's like being a male without being a submissive which attracts any horny douche bag to make a profile and demand kinky sex, as if they're clients and we're prostitutes (but then they get really mad if we tell them to pay us). Being a "submissive guy" is turning more into a scam than a lifestyle and that's not good for ANY of the dominant women, regardless of whether or not we're just entering the lifestyle. I'm not bashing Collerme, Collarme, or even horny guys. Horny guys used correctly, can be lots of sexy fun times which I believe in. But the effect it's had: fakes, liars, and men looking for a gullible girl (They're different, really!) is not good for those of us looking for something more specific. Ah, thank you, OP. You provided me with a perfect template to throw a temper tantrum. That was awesome, VV!! Nicely done. [sm=goodpost.gif]

Charles6682 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 12:21:24 PM)
It's not "FinDomes" that make it hard for submissives.Its so called "do me" subs that ruin it for the rest of the subs.Collarme is very clear about just giving money away to someone you don't know.Its "buyer beware".

TNDommeK -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 12:46:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: czarski quote: ORIGINAL: AliceMajesty Most of us, at least the ones with basic intelligence, identify ourselves as FinDomme on our profiles - Thank you. I couldn't convince people (in another thread) that Findommes would willingly identify as Findommes. They expected you to lie and hide your financial motive. Now you confirm my assessment. I actually have a higher opinion of Findommes that many of those who argue with me. My idea was NOT about banning findom, NOT about chastising it, NOT about making it more difficult. I simply suggested Findommes should be given the option to mark their profiles as $, so that we don't have to read five paragraphs of pretentious boast before discovering the words "money", "tribute", "shopping", etc. But well. We have learned to scan profiles for these key words. Moreover. We have learned to identify findomm by the photo (90% accuracy in my case). So no big deal. Not sure I understand this. The first line of my profile says that I'm a fin domme. And the other people in the other thread have all seen and know its there. So does anyone who takes the time to lower their eyes from my pics to the text part of the profile. Of course, ALL this was covered in Roch's thread....is fin domme a legit form of D/s

TNDommeK -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 12:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSadric I also don't see very many mistresses who are demanding payment from submissive females either. That's because women don't think with their vaginas the way men think with their penises. [:D] [sm=threadhijack.gif] Nominating this exchange for Sunny Quote of the Day. /end [sm=threadhijack.gif] Agreed

cloudboy -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/14/2013 1:35:56 PM)
I think one CM revelation to newbies is the ratio of business ads to personal ones. For instance if I registered on the YAHOO! personals and found out that XX% of the women there would only date/meet me for money, I'd be rather surprised. The difference between a traditional personals site and a kink site is dramatic in this regard. It only takes one walk around the block to figure this out, which is why newbies are always the ones expressing astonishment. I find their reactions perfectly natural, and a little bit funny. After a newbie's initial disappointment, the question then turns to "what next?" The landscape ain't changing for the newbie.

AllisonWilder -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 7:53:21 AM)
So FD makes it hard for subs? Allow me (as a findomme) to simplify it for you: Block users that send you messages that you're not interested in reading, hide the profiles of findommes that you see before they contact you, move on with your life.

dink22 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 1:38:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub It seems that 8/10 dommes here are all about money. There's nothing wrong with serving your Mistress with your wallet amongst other things, as a true sub seeks to please his domme any way possible. I feel,however, that Findom takes away the integrity of our lifestyle and attracts the wrong women/scammers. If I message 30 dommes right now, 25 will say something along the lines of: tribute me, send me amazon giftcards, etc. They don't care who you are, or if you're even submissive, as long as you tribute. It's like prostitution without having sex which attracts any attractive girl to make a profile and demand money as if they're dominant. Femdom is turning more into a business venture than a lifestyle and that's not good for young subs just entering the lifestlye. I'm not bashing Collerme, or even Findom. Findom used correctly, gives the Mistress ultimate control which I believe in. But the effect its had: fakes, scammers, picture stealing, and women looking for a quick payday is not good for us true subs and dommes. It IS about money. Legit kink?? I'm laughing my ass off. I could be a findom on this site.

lizi -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 2:15:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 It IS about money. Legit kink?? I'm laughing my ass off. I could be a findom on this site. Hello again Dink, nice of you to weigh in on what is near and dear to your heart. You could be a findomme on this site, maybe you should be- it might help you salve your usual butthurt on your favorite subject, and give you a way to help out your fellow subs find peace of mind through the fulfillment of their kink.

Charles6682 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 2:33:30 PM)
In my opinion,Male Subs should be focusing on where the problem really lies,which is the so called "do me subs".The fact is,Dommes far outnumber male subs here on Collarme and in the Fetish community in general.I do think Collarme should provide an option for "bottoms" and "tops",like how Fetlife does.Still,common sense still makes the biggest difference. Are there a lot of Fin-Dommes on Collarme?Maybe but who cares.The fact is though,these Fin-Dommes wouldn't be on here unless guys kept giving them money.Also,I don't think its fair to lump all Fin-Dommes into a "one size fits all" mentality.Now,I am not into Fin-Domme myself.However,I wouldn't giving my current Domme money.Although,she never asks me for money,so that's not even an issue for me.But I do think there are some great Fin-Dommes out there and those Women should be left alone.

dink22 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 3:06:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: dink22 It IS about money. Legit kink?? I'm laughing my ass off. I could be a findom on this site. Hello again Dink, nice of you to weigh in on what is near and dear to your heart. You could be a findomme on this site, maybe you should be- it might help you salve your usual butthurt on your favorite subject, and give you a way to help out your fellow subs find peace of mind through the fulfillment of their kink. As usual, a response has so substance. But it makes the poster feel good. No ability to refute, just condescend. Great.

egern -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 3:39:37 PM)
quote: Are there a lot of Fin-Dommes on Collarme?Maybe but who cares. According to the many times the topic is raised and the many pages it is discussed- quite a lot.

Charles6682 -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 3:41:57 PM)
*I meant to say that I wouldn't mind giving my Domme money if she asked but she does not ask me for money.

LadyPact -> RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. (5/16/2013 4:32:00 PM)
Fast reply. If fin kink is honestly making it so difficult, how on earth would you have dealt with it if you would have had to find kink at all before the internet? Believe it or not, that's exactly what people had to do. You think having to search through profiles is tough? How much time do you think you would have had to invest to even find your local munch? When you used to have to find people who were flagging or literally go to the "hot spots" to look for flyers or pick up whatever free press might be in your city and follow leads? Any person within the continental United States today can find the kink gathering closest to them in a matter of minutes. If you don't think that makes it easier, you haven't tried it the other way.

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